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The place to be for positive reinforcements! |
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Hello My Sunny Pals, Welcome back to Shellyville.... ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| Hello Sunshine, Last night the girls and I went out to see the musical Flash Dance in Lansing. It was a fun show and really made me wish I was out dancing and not sitting down watching a show of dancers. I used to love to dance. I would dance every day and now I never put the music on. I have lost my mojo! It's time to bring the music back and DANCE! Love, Michelle |
| Hello my sunny pals, I love a good family meeting. I like when we can sit around the table and hash out our problems. I am starting to see my ex in a whole new light and it's refreshing. I believe we are getting our needs addressed and working on the hard issues. Divorce is not for sissy. You have to have a plan on how you are going to continue to give your kids the very best parenting. Rules change when you have two homes. Rules change when you no longer communicate your wishes. Kids are not items to push around. They are human beings with feelings and needs. It is my job as a parent to keep the rules the same and to develop of productive form of communication with my ex. It's my job to parent. It's my job to provide a safe environment for my children to thrive and develop life skills. I am proud that we communicate as a team. I am proud that our kids come first. I am proud that we are making these changes together. One sweet day at a time! Love, Michelle |
| Hello my sunny pals, It looks like another wonderful fall day. At least the sun is shining and I am awake. Not sure where all my lack of motivation is coming from these days. I must be part bear and want to hibernate for the season. I wanted to put out some good vibes to my sisters. I have seven. I love them all. I am not one to communicate on a daily basis with my sisters. In fact, months can go by before I will pick up the phone and call. I am the youngest and by far the most guarded with my emotions. Perhaps growing up it was too hard to listen to so many "motherly" voices. I didn't like getting advice and being "told" what to do. I slowly detached and became my very own person. Different in a million tiny ways. Still, I do love my family and had a blast when we will all together this summer. I just realized that as I am getting older, I could use some of those motherly voices now. I bet they have tons of advice and life skills to enlighten me and help me on my journey. Love, Michelle |
| Hello my sunny pals, What is the difference between lazy or being spoiled? What makes someone lazy and not just spoiled or spoiled and rotten lazy? Have a teenager and find out! I am lucky that I am not really talking about my kids. It just seems to be a trend I am dealing with at work. I do see some lazy activity at my house but I encourage it. I am not about to change too much because I enjoy the down time with my kids. I like that they can just sit around and talk with me. Not ignore me or run off in the other room. I like being an informed parent but I am also very hands off. I trust my kids. I don't care to know there every move. I want them to go out and make mistakes. Get in trouble. Live. Your only a teenager once. Why not have fun? I know I am strange but I am good with that. I want my kids to have a certain kind of freedom to make mistakes and to know that I will support them. I am not parenting from a place of fear. If something bad happens we will deal with it. One day at a time! Love, Michelle |
| Hello my sunny pals, I am working the wedding circuit today. I love a good Bridal show and will be advertising my job and church at Crystal Gardens. I am a little bummed. I worked this show last year and misplaced my display. I suppose I only have myself to blame. I left it at the church and someone put it away. Only they put it away in a spot that I couldn't find it. I looked all over but I don't have keys for some of the closets. If I would have known it was missing I would have asked for help. Oh well. I went out and purchased new items and will pray they work. I love being a Wedding Coordinator and I love St. George Church! Love, Michelle |
| Hello Sunshine, Oh boy, the kids are back! The house is a freakin mess and I am loving it! It is how it should be. A contented mess. Both kids are still sleeping peacefully and I have some time to clean up, only I am not going too. I am going to sit here and enjoy the life that is living in my house. I am so blessed! Love, Michelle |
| Hello Sunshine, Some mornings I feel like a bum. I look at my open calendar and wonder what I am going to do to fill my time up. I do have a "to do" list but I am in the mood to ignore it! I know I wont. I am too organized and concerned that my life run smoothly. I am not going to borrow trouble by ignoring my chores. I am just going to take my time to enjoy the process. Also, I wanted to say that I love being a counselor. It really is my calling and I feel so blessed to have people feel safe to express themselves and share such intimate details of their mind. I am blown away by the discovery and recovery that happens in a session. I may be poor. I might not have the life I had before but I have something now that I never imagined. I have a career that I love. I have a pride in myself that continues to grow and shock me. I really love how things are progressing and I am going to enjoy my open calendar because I know it won't always be open! I love living in the moment! Love, Michelle |
| Hello Sunshine, Today was our first meeting at school, it included everyone that is on Jackson's support team. It also included his probation officer. Nothing beats a great support staff. Nothing beats being on the same page and seeing progress. I couldn't be happier with the way everyone is coordinating care for Jackson. The big test for me will come this weekend when he spends the weekend with me. I have tried many times in the last few months to get him here but it always turned out poorly. I believe that we all need to see some home success. If we can get through this weekend without anger or a major problem then I will feel so much better! I will know we made the right decisions and that our support is useful and needed. I am grateful to Brian. Heck, I even kissed him in a dream this morning. I am so nice for an ex! I am a wonderful person and I want the loves in my life to know that. I feel it is important that I leave a good impression. I won't have anyone write on my tombstone that I liked to work or that I was a hard worker. Nope I will be remembered for the way I left my friends with a smile and a laugh. Oh and I am not planning on going anywhere. I am just saying... Love, Michelle |
| Hello Sunshine, Ever been so close to having something that it seems even farther away? My challenges lately have been tipping me over the edge but I keep holding on. I am so close to having it all and it keeps slipping away. Who am I? A great question. I am Michelle. On a good day I could describe a million positive things about myself. I am also very vulnerable right now. Which apparently isn't so attractive. I am however real. I love openly. I express my doubts and concerns. I am foolishly connecting my income with my self-worth. It is the dumbest thing I have ever done! I wonder why am I being so hard on myself? Why am I struggling to be content? Why do I keep looking outside for my answers inside? I have been one very spoiled woman. From childhood on. I have been taken care of. I love my independence. I like the changes I have made. I will continue to make more changes as I age and come to terms with my life. I thought I was on the right path but I am not. It's time to stop the pretending and face reality. I deserve better and I need to treat myself better! I love you Michelle! Love, Michelle |
| Hello my sunny pals, Looks like Fall! I am loving the color changes and the bright reds but the early morning fog makes everything so gray and dingy looking. Just like my thoughts at the moment. I seem to be settling in on my own mind fog. I normally embrace the change of weather. I normally look forward to sweater weather and college football. I guess things are still settling in my life. The fall out of another new month. More time to plan and make changes. I honestly thought my life was going well. I was on track and making progress but it's not going that way. I have to find another job. I am not working enough hours at the art studio. I loved the job but when month after month you are not called to work, it's time to move on. So now the challenge is finding a place to work that I will love. I am open minded and fall in love easy so this shouldn't be a problem. Only need to take the time to go do it. Right after the fog clears... Love, Michelle |
| Hello Sunshine, Very few things in life are easy. Being a mom is definitely not one of them! I am trusting my gut today. I am leaving it up to God to help. I have asked. I believe. I will continue to trust. Sometimes it's important to know that I am not here alone. I have help. It took me a long time to ask for help. I believe that what I put out comes back to me. Love, Michelle |
| Hello my sunny pals, Ever feel like your behind and you haven't even gone anywhere? Ever feel like your bills are more important than air? Yep, my student loans are due. Let's see they think I can pay $700 a month. WOW! Trust me, if I could pay that much a month I would be one very happy person. I would gladly give them the money and them some more! I won't be winning any awards in generosity anytime soon. I can not afford to pay them back but I will be sending them something. Someday I will have this under control and will be proud that I managed to stay positive during this trying time. I am proud of who I am becoming. I just didn't realize the financial burden of living. I really did have my head in the clouds. I am doing the best I can with what I have. It's all good! Love, Michelle |
| Hello Sunshine, I love you. Three little words that can mean anything. It can be a romantic statement. A little thank you to a friend. It can mean the world or not. I tend to say I love you a lot! In fact, I bet it is my all time favorite saying! I tell my kids and friends that I love them all the time. I am not afraid to love. I wonder if maybe I am afraid to be loved in return? I wonder if my purpose right now is to give and not receive. That perhaps my time to take will come later in life. Don't get me wrong. I am loved. My kids adore me and so do my friends. Heck, even my clients think I am cool. SO I do know what love feels like but I am not in a loving relationship that is filling up my love bucket. Right now I am the one giving. For some reason that seems to be ok with me. Yet, I know I would like it to be different. I am still not ready to walk away or deny myself the satisfaction of being in this relationship. I am grateful for the many levels of love that can be expressed between people. I read a quote yesterday that said a "life is worth living if you live it for someone else" I am not sure I agree a hundred percent with that. My life is mine. I like being selfish. I am ok with giving my time and love to others but I am not living for anyone but me. If I can't make myself happy and sane, no one is going too. I think it means to be less selfish and give of yourself to others. I am good with that...but anything more and I am not buying it. I love you! Love, Michelle |
| Hello Sunshine, What a beautiful fall day! The sun is shining, a slight breeze and warm humid air. I love it. I must be crazy that I love humidity but it makes my skin feel good. I don't mind the frizzy hair or that I am sticky. I like it. I guess some thing's about me never change. I am finally finding some peace after the last two weeks of insanity. I am hopeful for the future and it's a great time to make changes and think clearly. I have energy and a plan. I can make my life mean something for me. I am not going to beat myself up for pushing so hard. Tonight I am going to do some furniture arranging and it makes me feel good. I like how even moving furniture around can give off new energy and provide some peace and hope. I need some new vibes in my home. I need to let go of some of the clutter and clear out the business of my life. It's a great day! Love, Michelle |
| Hello my sunny pals, Yesterday we had our first wraparound meeting. Wraparound is a part of Community Mental Health that is geared towards helping families in crisis and when they have a child with mental issues that impact the family. Yes, I would say my family qualifies for these special services. It was fun to sit around the dinner table and talk. It was even better when we could talk about our strengths, and share our goals as a family. We are still a team. I love my family. I am blessed that they still love me. I know that Jackson's behavior has been shocking and outrageous but I still love him. I want him to know that everything we do is to support him. I am finally on a healthy path. I might have a few silly hitchhikers that are my entertainment and escape. That's my life and I can have them. I am able to keep the core responsibilities the same. I love my kids and will continue to work on myself so I can be the best possible parent. I am one lucky momma! Love, Michelle |
| Hello Sunshine, I am blessed by the sweetest of friends. Yesterday, I ran away with Tom to the apple orchard. We had a blast. He can make me laugh like I am going to pee my pants! Thankfully, I didn't. I am trying to fill my empty days with activity. Anything so I can move on and keep living. I am blessed to be alive and I have to keep reminding myself. Life is good! Love, Michelle |
| Hello Sunshine, Well I did get the call I wanted. Only I hung up on it. I am not sure why I keep having to have this human error problem with my new phone! My humanness is a pain. I wish I could always have everything my way! I feel like s*** and I am being extremely hard on myself at the moment. I have to learn to forgive myself. It seems as if that is the message at the moment that I need to receive. Not a five minute phone call from someone I love. Only to hear his voice. I am sorry. I am sorry that this black cloud is not moving away. I am sorry that I am tender hearted and feel your pain. I am sorry I can't make this go away. I will be here. I will be waiting. I will give you all the support you need. Even if it's only in my heart and you can't hear my words. I know. Someday we will laugh at today. Someday we will grow past this spot in our life and be where we need to be. I'm not here alone. Love, Michelle |
| Hello my sunny pals, I sure do want a lot of things out of life, I keep asking myself... What am I giving? My peace of mind is coming at a high price right now. I slept on the couch last night. I just can't shut off the heavy thoughts. I have Jackson and Steve on my mind. Both so different and yet kind of the same in some silly way. I suppose it will all work out in the end. I can only do so much and have to know that whatever God keeps putting in my path I can deal with. Life is beautiful. Complex but wonderful. I am blessed and loved. Love, Michelle |
| Hello Sunshine, If I could step inside his thoughts. I would know what his tender feelings are. If I could calm his fears and help him with his anger. I want to make positive changes for him. I wish I had that kind of power. I am barely making powerful changes for myself. One step at a time. One word and one action. I must make the changes I need to see in myself. I can do this. I knew life was getting interesting. It always does for me. Never a freaking dull moment. I wouldn't have it any other way! Love, Michelle |
| Hello Sunshine, Yes, I still have the kitten. I am not sure how long this is going to go on. I should find out tonight. I hope. I miss her owner. I also kind of miss my peace of mind. It's a small thing but I like peace. I like knowing Jackson is getting the care he needs. I like knowing I can adjust to changes. I like knowing I can be flexible and wise. I like knowing that I am supported. I realize now why it is important for me to take my time. It's important for me to mourn my past and let go. It's all good! Love, Michelle |
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