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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/books.php/item_id/1827046-Shellyville-Continues/sort_by/entry_order DESC, entry_creation_time DESC/page/11
Rated: 13+ · Book · Experience · #1827046
The place to be for positive reinforcements!
Hello My Sunny Pals, Welcome back to Shellyville....

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Previous ... 7 8 9 10 -11- 12 13 14 15 16 ... Next
June 14, 2013 at 6:46am
June 14, 2013 at 6:46am
#784867
Good Morning Sunshine,

I received an early morning text and it got me out of bed. I guess I couldn't sleep after reading that my friend is headed off to rehab. I am so fascinated by the complexity of the soul. I am excited that my girl friend is seeking help for her addictions.

I keep telling her that we are strongest in our weakest moments, only we just can't see it. I pray that she finds the help she needs and that she seeks God. I know that only God or a higher power is going to give her the strength that she needs.

Whom ever that wonderful creature is...He has made my life make sense. I get that I am not always in charge. I do feel the energy of the universe around me. I feel blessed and supported. I am lucky.

I am loved.

Love,
Michelle
June 13, 2013 at 9:11am
June 13, 2013 at 9:11am
#784803
Hello Sunshine,

I just read that insurance can't save a life. I think that is so interesting! It's true we have insurance to "protect" our things but they can't save our life. They can only cover some of the damage.

Maybe it means to live your life to the fullest.

I know that no amount of insurance is ever going to cover all the things I love. I love too deeply for any accounting. I love too freely and with out regrets. I love the things I have and most of all the relationships I keep.

Thank you!

Love,
Michelle
June 12, 2013 at 9:08am
June 12, 2013 at 9:08am
#784706
Hello my sweet and wonderful friends,

I went to bed with a journal in my hand and wrote until I let every thought out. It was a great way to end a very pleasant day with my kids.

I can see the sunrise on Jackson's behavior. I really am starting to see a small glimpse of my loving child. I think this summer is going to be awesome. We have his summer school planned out and he seems cool with it. He also has incentive if he makes it his Dad is going to take him to Chicago. He told me he was going to stuff me in his suitcase but I don't think so!

I get to work today at Paint and Pour! I am so excited that Dennis called me and asked me to help out. I love working at the Studio and getting paid to have fun is the best part!

My life is slowing making sense and I am very happy. I will take this journey one step at a time. I am learning to love myself again and take pride in WHO I am!

It's all GOOD!

Love,
Michelle
June 11, 2013 at 9:54am
June 11, 2013 at 9:54am
#784646
Hello Sunshine,

So I had this crazy idea that I could take a vacation with my ex. Well...He wasn't going for that! I guess in the long run it would have confused Jackson. I just thought it would be a good idea and save me some money. Plus, I can't afford to take the kids on a vacation by myself.

He took them last year for a week up-north and now he wants to take them to Chicago for a week. I just don't have that kind of money.

I guess he will be the vacation dad and I will be the lets have fun every day mom.

I am cool with that!

Love,
Michelle
June 10, 2013 at 11:32am
June 10, 2013 at 11:32am
#784573
Hello Sunshine,

I love a good art fair. I love a road trip with my best friends and finding unique items. I live in one of the best states for Antique shopping! I do so love Michigan!

I found a couple little gems yesterday that I couldn't live without. I have them spread out on my dining room table just so I could admire them. I don't like to put my purchases away. I like to look at them and enjoy what I purchase.

I believe the best part of the trip was just being with my girlfriends. I love how they support me, make me laugh and enjoy my life.

I am one very lucky lady!!

Love,
Michelle
June 8, 2013 at 9:06am
June 8, 2013 at 9:06am
#784440
Hello Sunshine,

I went to the movies last night and seen the film MUD.

It was awesome! Made me think of so many things. Best of all that being 14 is still a great age!! I loved the kid playing Ellis. This was his second film but I know he is going to be acting for a while. He was amazing to watch! I love it when a movie is full of long time actors but the real star is the unknown actor that steels the show!

Maybe I do need to get out on the water and let the current drift my worries away. It seems as if every date I go on, I still end up thinking about "him". I do hate that. I pray someday I get over him and this hurt and pain goes away!

I have another fun wedding today and a girls trip tonight. I love a busy weekend! Bring on the summer and bring back the sunshine!

Love,
Michelle
June 7, 2013 at 12:59pm
June 7, 2013 at 12:59pm
#784390
Hello my sunny pals,

It doesn't take much to make a mess. It takes even less time when the kids are not helping me. I know I know...What kind of mother am I?

I want my kids to help out and have chores. I do think it is very important, but every once and awhile I like to clean without their input. I don't know why. Maybe deep down it calms my control freak center. Maybe it's because I can find things when I put them away? Maybe it's because it's my mess too?

Whatever the reason I am doing it solo today. Jackson doesn't want to get out of bed. Savanna has her gal pals and the last day of 9th grade. I am letting her be a real teenager today.

I am one very blessed momma and I love my mess!

Love,
Michelle
June 6, 2013 at 8:12am
June 6, 2013 at 8:12am
#784319
Hello my sunny pals,

In a world full of dreams and a place to hide. I stay in bed with the covers pulled up over my head.

I don't let the negative energy that fills the room find me. I escape the alarm and drift off again.

I shall stay this innocent for the rest of my life.

Love,
Michelle
June 5, 2013 at 9:55am
June 5, 2013 at 9:55am
#784263
Hello Sunshine,

I did have good intentions to be positive. I did want to spread joy and happiness. I did want to put aside my own problems and be a center of hope and love.

It's not that easy for me right now. I can feel a heaviness in my bones. Something is weighting me down. I am worried about my son. I am worried. I do believe it will get better. I just didn't think it would take this long.

Sometimes I am not the strong one. Sometimes I would like someone to carry my burden. I would like to get lost in a fantasy and run away. I always have to go home! I know I don't live in my head but if I could...

Love,
Michelle
June 4, 2013 at 9:12am
June 4, 2013 at 9:12am
#784203
Hello my sunny pals,

I believe you can love more than one person. I believe you can love in many directions. It's okay to love. It's okay to have friends that you love. Just never forget to put yourself first.

Loving yourself can be easy and it can be hard. It's like knowing you have faults but accepting them anyway. It's funny how I have changed by the people I love. I have been "in-love" a few times. It's always surprised me how it opens up my soul and mind. I am blown away by the fact I can get so vulnerable.

Love is not meant to be forgotten. It might not last in true passion intensity but the love never goes away. Like the love I have for my parents. I don't get to express it daily but it still lives in my heart. I am a loving person and at times I get carried away with an addicted feeling like I have to have it. Funny thing is that I do. I am surrounded by love.

I love!

Love,
Michelle
June 3, 2013 at 9:11am
June 3, 2013 at 9:11am
#784127
Hello my sunny pals,

When did I lose my goal? How did I let my discipline for right and wrong go away? I have no idea why I haven't been paying attention but I am now.

It is no doubt that getting divorced is like losing your mind. Everything I did in the last few years seems crazy. I have no idea how or when but I did get lost. I lost my own sense of being. I tried to stay a float in all the changes but my sanity got washed away.

Slowly I see myself returning. I see some disturbing patterns that need to be changed. I realize my worth is at a much higher price then I put it. Maybe making mistakes have been good for me. I do seem to have to learn the hard way.

Perhaps it's the hard way that makes me appreciate what challenges I face. I get that I am not always suppose to have the answer. I have to have faith. I do believe that God will reveal to me what I need to know. I am going to do something different but it starts with self discipline and that is something I have never been good at. Let's see if I can really change!

Love,
Michelle
June 2, 2013 at 10:05am
June 2, 2013 at 10:05am
#784074
Hello Grumpy,

So you force me to get up. You yell at me that I am lazy. I don't do anything. You expect me to make your life happy when you are making mine miserable.

You won't follow simple directions like take a shower. You think every emotion belongs to me. Well...

You are not going to like me very much because you are bringing out the very ugly in me.

Thanks,
June 1, 2013 at 8:59am
June 1, 2013 at 8:59am
#783993
Hello my sunny pals,

Love does continue long after the grave. Long after all the memories start to fade and the hurt gets put away. I always find it odd that my family tries to remember my parents wedding day. It would have been 73 years if they were living. Well...They are in heaven together.

I didn't get the money that he owed me. I know now I will never hear from him again. Trust me that is in my best interest. It hurts but I am better than him.

I am better and stronger. I am growing into whom I am suppose to be. I am welcoming my new energy and power. I even picked up a book last night to remind me of my wonderful connection to my son. He is here with me this weekend and I feel blessed.

No bodyguards. We are going to do it without yelling and disrespect. We are going to make this work! With lots and lots of LOVE!!

Love,
Michelle
May 29, 2013 at 9:05am
May 29, 2013 at 9:05am
#783765
Hello my sweet and sunny friends,

Last night there was a storm close by. I haven't heard if anyone was hurt but I know it was scary. I think the weather has so much power. Almost as much as our very own thoughts.

I am one of those people that has to have big life lessons. I don't learn easy the first time around so I make mistakes. I like that I can make mistakes and at least realize them.

I let someone use me. I guess at the time I felt needed but realize that it was my own insecurity that allowed my walls to be down. I know better now but I have to forgive myself. I have to forgive myself so I can grow and move on. It's one thing to let it keep happening. I am done with that. I am strong enough to move on.

I have made a decision and will continue to care for myself and make healthy choices. One day at a time and I will arrive.

Love,
Michelle
May 27, 2013 at 2:23pm
May 27, 2013 at 2:23pm
#783527
Hello Sunshine,

I don't always want to assume that I won't make mistakes but my faith in others seems to be draining. I guess I only have myself to blame and my false sense of right and wrong.

I used to think I had a moral code I could count on. I am not sure all this living in the moment and escapism is in my best interest anymore.

Time to change!

Love,
Michelle
May 26, 2013 at 1:32pm
May 26, 2013 at 1:32pm
#783451
Hello Sunshine,

Life is so funny. I often wonder where my thoughts are going to lead me. I have been thinking a lot about what I miss by owning a home. I never realized how it kept me busy.

I miss a yard to play in. I miss a sunny spot to drink my coffee. I miss the smell of flowers in the morning. I was a rather lazy homeowner. In many ways I never took care of the outside. That was always Brian's department. Now that I am living in an apartment I realize on how much I missed out on.

After I clean my apartment I am done. I have no repairs or flowers to plant. I have no yard to mow or landscape. I have no place to lay on a hammock all afternoon.

I have to change the way I do things. I have to find peace in my little patio. I am going to go out and get some small plants. Maybe that will make me feel productive and give me something to care for. I do love my life!

Enjoy your day!

Love,
Michelle
May 25, 2013 at 9:44am
May 25, 2013 at 9:44am
#783388
Hello Sunshine,

I am in a generous mood. I have been giving away far too much of my personal funds. I know it's not healthy and I need to look at my codependency issues.

I have some changes to make. I get that I feel used. I would like to say it will all make sense some day but I am beginning to think it might not.

The best I can do is take care of myself. I am going to clean up the house, and then get out of here. I didn't make any real plans to run away but it's still early in the weekend!

Have a safe and sunny day!

Love,
Michelle
May 24, 2013 at 9:53am
May 24, 2013 at 9:53am
#783326
Hello Sunshine,

I am so glad it is the weekend! I am taking off. I am going to pack my bags and run away for the weekend. I have no idea where I am going or what I am doing...

All I know is that I need a break. A change of scenery and some hope.

Love,
Michelle
May 23, 2013 at 10:08am
May 23, 2013 at 10:08am
#783269
Hello my sunny pals,

Ever have a dream that feels too real? You swear you are that person? You live in that dream? I must have a serious imagination because I can't shake my dream.

It's sitting on me like a heavy coat. It is a constant reminder of what was and what will never be.

I love moving forward with my life. I like that things are almost going the way I want them too. If only I could work a real job with real hours and some true consistency I would feel better. I understand him. I just don't understand me.

Hope.

I have to have hope that this is only temporary.

Love,
Michelle
May 22, 2013 at 4:52pm
May 22, 2013 at 4:52pm
#783218
Hello Sunshine,

I need a new ride. I need a new way of thinking out of this box.

If I could use my imagination what would I dream? It might be to lay in your arms for hours. It maybe a trip to the moon. I can think of a million places I would rather be. I need a new ride and a place for peace.

I close my eyes and feel you. I hear your words whispered in lust, laying next to you for hours.

You take me as I am. Nothing fancy or adorned. No magic music or toys. I am loved.

I will always want more.

Love,
Michelle

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