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Review by Amay Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Chemokidraver,

I’m honored to read and review 'My Journey Through Cancer.'

Title: Your title pulled me in... but more about that later.

Description: Short, sweet and to the point. No apologies, this is it. I like the boldness of your description. Your attitude of look if you want, but I'm not looking for a pity party is what I feel when I read your description after reading your piece.

Contents: You've had a hell of a year, and the next 10 will hopefully bring more normalcy and better health to you.

23 years ago, January 6th my son was diagnosed with retinoblastoma. He was four months old, one week from being 5 months old when I was given the news. Shock, I know that feeling, that numbness that protects your psyche. Mike weighed 10 pounds, 6 ounces when he went in for his first surgery. He had three that year. I've often wondered how he made it through- a month premature, 4 surgeries, and his big brother ended up giving him chicken pox that spring. But, he's alive and kicking. He made it through puberty without any related cancer issues that we were warned to watch for.

I wish you well. You've been through hell and come out on the other side. Support those who are going through what you've lived through. You can offer hope like no one else can. Through your writing you've shown your strength. Stay strong and win this fight. You deserve a victory.

Thumbs up for your openness and candor in sharing your journey with cancer.

Conventions: I didn't notice any errors in grammar or syntax.

My best wishes to you and your family. May 2013 be a year of wonder and delight, the first of many with good health and much happiness.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.

Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.

Amay

2012 winter scene
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Review of In the Blue  Open in new Window.
Review by Amay Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Taylor Woodard,

I’m honored to read and review 'In the Blue.'

Title: I love the title, its one of the reasons I opened this up.

Description: You've shared yourself with your description. Some people will look and turn away, some will open and read. I hope your readership will appreciate your candor.

Contents: I love how your poem naturally flows and pauses. The repetition of 'In the blue' adds to its charm. From darkness into the light... alright!

Thumbs up: While short, sweet to the point, you've packed a lot emotion into this piece.

Conventions: The only suggestion I would make is to add spaces, separating your stanzas. So you'd have three lines, space, three lines space... I hope that makes sense.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.

Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.

Amay

2012 winter scene
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Review by Amay Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi FireFly_2,

I’m honored to read and review 'Resolutions for 2013'

Title: Oh man, I need to ponder my resolutions and see what I can come up with.

Description: You've created a very simple description. Remember that this is where you can entice the readership of WDC to come in and read your works.

Contents: Now I must ponder... is this for just January or the whole year? I tend to think of resolutions as a yearly chore to contemplate and throw away. However, your goals are admirable, and with diligence a feasible/ realistic goal for the month.

Thumbs up: I appreciate the thought and intention to state your goals here for all to see and hold you accountable. Bravo for you!

Conventions: No errors noted.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.

Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.

Amay

2012 winter scene
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Review of Again  Open in new Window.
Review by Amay Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi Skylark Haddox ,

I’m honored to read and review 'Again'.

First and foremost, I am so sorry for your loss.

Title: I love how you've woven your title through your poem.

Description: You've enticed the readership of WDC to open and take a peek at your work, to see what the pain was all about.

Contents: In so few words, you've summed up a situation that shouldn't happen to one so young. At thirteen, I think of all the first kisses never to be lived, the knowledge of true love, the laughter of listening to your own child, leaving a legacy to be remembered by. It hurts to know that a child never got to feel or experience all of these joys of living.

Those left behind, have to pick up the pieces and move on. Honor the lost by living life to its fullest. Loss of a love one is such a hard cross to bear, but it is a part of the cycle of life.

Thumbs up:
"The Things I Never Got To Tell Are Remembered

All Of My Memories Are Treasure"

Conventions: I didn't notice any errors.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.
Amay
2012 winter scene
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Review of The Sea  Open in new Window.
Review by Amay Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Princess Shemaira,

Happy WDC Anniversary!

I’m honored to read and review 'The Sea'.

Title: I opened this piece because I love the ocean and will be visiting the coast very soon.

Description: Punch up your description. This is where people decided if they even want to bother. Entice the readership of WDC to open and take a peek at your work.

Contents: You've equated your lover to the sea, but there are places where it seems like the sea is a negative force, but by the end it sounds like the ocean (your beloved) is a great support, under girding you as you float on its currents.

Thumbs up:Your beautiful body is like the ocean to me,>> There is nothing as glorious as the sun rising or setting over the ocean.

Conventions: There are a couple of places where your word choice could be stronger, to help the flow and rhythm of your piece.

Ex.

>>Your sensual eyes are pulling me down to sea>>> I'd suggest >> pulling me to the sea


Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.

Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.

Amay

*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*Candlev*



2012 winter scene
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Review by Amay Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Dave L,

Happy WDC Anniversary!

I’m honored to read and review 'Grandpa's Navy Tale'.

Title: This was the big draw for me. While my grandpa's weren't in the service (Night blindness for one, and severe diabetes for the other), my two uncles and one of my son's were all in the Navy and I've always loved listening to their stories.

Description: Punch up your description. This is where people decided if they even want to bother. Entice the readership of WDC to open and take a peek at your work.

Contents: Your grandfather must have loved to tell the story. What a perfect example to prove his point. I don't know that I'd ever think that quickly on my feet. I'm sure that admiral let off steam later on, being called on the carpet like that.

Thumbs up for sharing a delightful incident that made me chuckle.

Conventions: I didn't notice any errors. I wish we could know what that admiral said out of your grandfather's earshot. Thank goodness the blueprints were fixed.

The Navy does make mistakes though. My not mechanically gifted son, was put in charge of engineering and keeping the engines running on his first duty station. When he told me what he was in charge of, I laughed and told him they had the wrong son. Engines were my youngest's first love. *Wink*


Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.
Amay
*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*Candlev*


2012 winter scene
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Review of Our Pet Spider  Open in new Window.
Review by Amay Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Pico,

Happy WDC Anniversary!

I’m honored to read and review ' Our Pet Spider'

Title: The title fits well with your story.

Description: You've used your description to entice this reader to come in and take a look.

Contents: What a cute family story. I know that children and pets can be a handful. What am I talking about, children do come in older varieties, don't they! I don't know if I would have been as generous, I really hate bugs.

Thumbs up: A cute story to remember for wedding rehearsal dinners yet to come!

Conventions: I didnt notice anything.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.
Amay
*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*Candlev*


2012 winter scene
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Review by Amay Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Big Bad Wolf is Merry,

I’m honored to read and review 'Night Before Christmas (puzzle)

Title: I love Clement Moore's poem. So it was a draw for me to come and try.

Description: Your description worked well.

Contents: You had me on 2 down. Man oh man, I was going nuts.

Thumbs up: Very nice crossword puzzle. I normally hate them. My dad was a crossword fiend, I never developed the nack for doing them.

Conventions: Everything is fine

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.

Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.

Amay

** Image ID #1482287 Unavailable **
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Review by Amay Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Oriana,

I’m honored to read and review 'Finding the Right Words'

Title: I realize that your title is your prompt, which is fine. But does your title illuminate your writing?

Description: This is where you sell your work. I know you'll get peeks because you've asked a question.

Contents: You've created two very nice haikus, but I'm not sure that it was what the judge was looking for in the Writer's Cramp. You've created a situation where someone appears to be searching for the right words.

I've been sitting here pondering. You really did capture the spirit of trying to find the right words. I don't think I would have thought of using haiku's to answer that prompt.

Thumbs up: You've made me stop, reread and think about it. Excellent job. I'm kind of curious, though, what were the right words?

Conventions: No errors noted.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.
Amay
** Image ID #1482287 Unavailable **
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Review by Amay Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hi Dukiesgal46 ,

I’m honored to read and review 'Christmas Letter'

Title: Christmas letter or Christmas wish? interesting call.

Description: Interesting that you've asked a question in your description. I wonder how many will give you advise in their comments.

Contents: You've started in poetic form. The rhythmic flow and rhyme were great. Then it stopped, that kind of made me sad. But it isn't about a poem, its about being in a long distance relationship. Pitting the fantasy with the reality of life. It is an interesting quandary you've found yourself in, and I totally understand it.

Thumbs up: 'Christmas magic,mistletoe,
Dreams have moved way too slow' These two lines sum up the difficulties in a long distance relationship, the dreams of being together. The realities of real life in your own corners of the world. It's hard, I know.

Conventions:The last three lines could use some direction for the reader with commas where you want the reader to pause.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.
Amay
** Image ID #1482287 Unavailable **
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Review by Amay Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Wishing You Happiness!,

Happy WDC Anniversary!

I’m honored to read and review 'The Dragonfly and the Ladybug'

Title: Your folder with kiddie stories pulled me in, and I love dragonflies so this was a natural stop for me.

Description: You've enticed the readership of WDC to open and take a peek at your work.

Contents: What a nice story for youngsters to sit and listen to. I can easily see a teacher using the story with a flannel board (if they even know what that is anymore) and inspiring the children to come up with their own tales of friendship.

Thumbs up: I'm so glad you added pictures to go along with your story. They are beautiful in their own right and add to the story.

Conventions: "Water trickled together, and, like tiny rivers, they moved Dolly's leaf ever so slowly down the little hill to the water's edge."
>>> I think you can move the word AND to form two sentences instead of a long compound sentence.>> Water trickled together like tiny rivers. They moved Dolly's leaf....

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.

Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.

Amay

*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*Candlev*


** Image ID #1482287 Unavailable **
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Review by Amay Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Sisco,

I’m honored to read and review 'The Widow and the Poppy.'

Title: I was immediately transported to Flanders Field when I read the title. I've read many picture books to my kids at school about the importance of remembering and honoring our past.

Description: It's so sad that we still have widows and widowers of war, seems like the human race would learn. Maybe one day, we can all hope and dream of a time when mommy's and daddy's don't have to serve and pay that ultimate sacrifice.

Contents: You've captured the sadness and helpless feeling of many war widows. I've seen pictures of men, totally breaking down seeing their child for the first time, or leaving that precious baby to do their duty. I've seen kids with tee shirts welcoming their mom's home that said "It's been 281 days since I hugged my mommy." It breaks my heart that young families have to go through these things.
Knowing that that special someone isn't coming home, or coming home injured physically or mentally is such a life changing event.

Thumbs up: I love the last line ' Her story so sad, the Poppy weeps.' The symbolism and poignant realization hits home.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.
Amay
** Image ID #1482287 Unavailable **
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Review by Amay Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Seabreeze,

I’m honored to read and review 'November 11, 2011'

Title: Your title called to me, not for the reason you probably think, but my son's birthday is 11/11. He was born on a Sunday afternoon, before 9/11/01, in a time when we didn't realize what was happening in our own back yard.

Description: Perfect dedication and appropriate for your description.

Contents: The same son followed in our family's footsteps and joined the Navy. He served in the JRROTC, the ROTC, then four years of active duty on a frigate out of Mayport, FL. It was hard for him being away, but I'm proud of him for serving. You've captured what I felt every time he came home. Watching the frigate pull into port after being gone for six months. The joy, pride, love that everyone waiting on the docks is what your poem makes me remember. It's wonderful when they come home healthy and happy. My heart bleeds for those whose children aren't as fortunate. There are so many that pay that ultimate sacrifice, too many.

Thumbs up: 'God bless the Veterans and their families." It's hard to believe our country lets our veteran's families struggle so... many on food stamps and require assistance to make ends meet. It's such a disappointment that our leaders don't seem to care about those who give so much.

Conventions: I didn't notice any errors, I can't think of anything that would make your piece stronger.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.

Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.

Amay

** Image ID #1482287 Unavailable **
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Review of Veiled  Open in new Window.
Review by Amay Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Poppy Moss,

Happy WDC Anniversary!

I’m honored to read and review 'Veiled'

Title: Beautiful title with subtle foreshadowing.

Description: Your description should pull people into your port to read your poem.

Contents: What a wonderful poem of deep and abiding love. Memories may fade, but the beauty seen isn't always with the eyes. The beauty within is so much more important.

Thumbs up: "In each loving caress there's tenderness shown.
Love hasn't faded over the years it has grown." This says it all and it is all we can hope for in our loving relationships.

Conventions: I didn't notice any errors in flow or conventions. I have no suggestions to make your piece stronger. It touched my heart.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.

Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.

Amay

*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*Candlev*


** Image ID #1482287 Unavailable **
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Review by Amay Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Eye-Star,

Happy WDC Anniversary!

I’m honored to read and review 'Favourite Star Trek Captain' (and vote, too) This is going to be a hard decision.

Title: My initial draw into your port was my love of Star Trek. I went to see Gene Roddenbury speak once, oh my goodness I was so excited.

Description: Love how your description is a continuation of your title. Very creative.

Contents: I usually don't review polls, but going through the anniversary reviews today a member only had polls. Bless them, but I was more confused after reading it than I was before I started. So, long story short, I deliberately chose to do a poll in your port, to see have a better idea of what a poll should really look like.

Back to the point.... You've used so many different colors, a graphic, and emoticons. Your directions are concise and light- hearted. You've engaged the reader and tapped into their love of Star Trek. This is what a poll should look like.

And the last three captains- apparently didn't make that much of an impression on me, because I'd forgotten all about them until I saw their names again. Holy cow! I'm going to blame that on young mommy-hood.

Thumbs up: Such a creative way to run a poll, beautiful craftsmanship.

Conventions:No errors noted.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.
Amay
*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*Candlev*


** Image ID #1482287 Unavailable **
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Review by Amay Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Kinzey Kay,

Happy WDC Anniversary!

I’m honored to read and review 'The Truest Feeling'

Title: Your title fits well with your poem.

Description: To punch up your description I'd leave out a poem about, and just put the end of that statement. This is where people decided if they even want to bother. Entice the readership of WDC to open and take a peek at your work. They can see it's a poem above the title.

Contents: A stream of consciousness that flows well, explaining how love changed from something delightful into something so wrong. People change, sometimes you think you know someone only to find their true natures with time. While time can make a truly loving relationship blossom and grow through trials and stresses, it also will be the death of a relationship that isn't truly love.

Don't be jaded and miss out on another opportunity. True love exists, you have to be strong and patient to find it.

Thumbs up:
"No one will know the secrets
love holds
Inside two peoples hearts,
and how it corrupts the mind." Beautifully put, about a bad situation from the sounds of it.

Conventions: I didn't notice any errors in flow, or conventions.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.
Amay
*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*Candlev*


** Image ID #1482287 Unavailable **
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Review of The Palm tree  Open in new Window.
Review by Amay Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hi WillSing4Supper,

Happy WDC Anniversary!

I’m honored to read and review 'The Palm Tree'

Title: Since I love the beach, the title was a draw for me.

Description: You've enticed the readership of WDC to open and take a peek at your work with your teasing description.

Contents: You've created a very detailed vignette. An elderly gentleman, a youthful barmaid, and a twist of jealousy, that's probably a touch of loneliness mixed in with it. You've ended abruptly, leaving this reader wanting more. Which is a good thing, if you're adding more. I'd love to know more about these characters and how they are going to interact. Is it love?

If you're going to add to this piece, I'll come back and review it again when you're done if you would like me to.

Thumbs up: ' the waves seemed to surrender under its weight." I know that look, very well put.

Conventions: It would make it easier to read if you double spaced between paragraphs since you're using block formatting.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.

Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.

Amay

*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*Candlev*


** Image ID #1482287 Unavailable **
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Review by Amay Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi Sisco,

Happy WDC Anniversary! You've made quite the name for yourself here in three short years.

I’m honored to read and review 'Welcome to my Portfolio~ Please Read',

Title: You know, you put the 'P' word up there, so I had to follow directions! It just seemed a natural place for me to start looking around.

Description: You've given the reader a hint of what this section is all about. I'm sure many look but leave no message. But I'll be different and come in to peruse for a while.

Contents: You've packed quite a lot into your bio. here. I think your journey here at WdC has been interesting. Raising funds for needy causes, writing your book, delving into poetry. It seems like WdC has become a part of you, and I know all of us are proud of your accomplishments.

Thumbs up: When I look at your port, it reminds me of where I used to work. Some of the new evaluation documents required you to state everything you'd done, at work and on your own time as being a contributing member of the community. You'd be able to list so many valuable contributions to this community. Kudos.

Conventions: I didn't notice any errors.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.
Amay
*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*Candlev*


** Image ID #1482287 Unavailable **
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Review of Morning Ardor  Open in new Window.
Review by Amay Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi Ken,

Happy WDC Anniversary!

I’m honored to read and review 'Morning Ardor'

Title: Very romantic

Description: The description enticed me to follow, to read, and enjoy your poetry.

Contents: First, I must thank you for the lexicon. I did know what alliteration was, but I've never heard of a rhyming alliterisen poetry form. I can promise you, it would have driven me nuts. As always, you did it with a grand flourish. Beautifully written, about the quite dawning in your lovers arms. It's always a delight to find my way into your port.

Thumbs up: "Whispered wanton words..." love it!

Conventions: Perfect in every sense, no errors noticed. I'm humbled once again at the mastery of your verse.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.

Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.

Amay

*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*Candlev*


** Image ID #1482287 Unavailable **
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Review of Forever for You  Open in new Window.
Review by Amay Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi The Warlock,

Happy WDC Anniversary!

I’m honored to read and review 'Forever You'

Title:Tender title with your description, it makes sense.

Description: This is where people decided if they even want to open a piece to read. Telling about your metal wire flower and the fact that you made it and this poem should entice the readership of WDC to open and take a peek at your work.

Contents: A very simple rhyming poem. It is kind of choppy reading it, almost like the rhyming is forced. The message is sweet and perhaps trying to force it into a poem went just too far. I am curious about the receiver of the poem/ flower, did she enjoy it?

Thumbs up: "Here take it." Oh my, it sounds like one of my sons.

Conventions: There is one thing I would suggest, but I don't know if its possible or not. You could post a picture of your flower with your poem.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.
Amay
*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*Candlev*


** Image ID #1482287 Unavailable **
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Review by Amay Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
Hi Annie,

Happy WDC Anniversary!

I’m honored to read and review 'Shaped Like a Scar'

Title: Interesting title, it did pique my curiosity.

Description: This is where people decided if they even want to bother. Entice the readership of WDC to open and take a peek at your work. I'm glad you put the form of poetry in the description, I don't think I've ever heard of this particular form. It was the big draw for me opening up this piece.

Contents: Your poem leads the reader down into a dark place, turmoil between parent and child. With your closing lines, it make me wonder is this how God feels about his creations here, in this time, in this place. Very deep thoughts for such an early morning.

Thumbs up: Kudos for trying a new form of poetry. I always love a challenge.

Conventions: That being said, you need to check on the directions of that form. This is what you linked to, you can see which you've met and which need work.

" The poem contains out of 4 stanzas (Your poem has 7 stanzas)
Each stanza has five lines. *Check*
Every line has six syllables (Your poem has a mix of syllables in each line)
Every first line is repeated and comes back as the first line of all the other stanzas.*Check*
Line 3 and 5 rhyme, in every stanza. *Check*
The rhyme scheme: Abcdc Aefgf Ahiji Aklml"

IF you're happy with your poem as it stands, I'd just remove the form from the description and the link. Or a disclaimer that you started with the idea of using this form, but it took a course of its own.

I've had poems that flowed and almost met the criteria for a form, to miss it by a little bit. I usually come back and read it with fresh eyes after a couple of weeks and a check list of what the 'requirements' of that poem are, then edit as needed. I've found that when I worry about form too much, I'll miss something in the details and its just easier to catch it later.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.

Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.

Amay

*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*Candlev*


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Review of First Moments  Open in new Window.
Review by Amay Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi K. Charles,

Happy WDC Anniversary!

I’m honored to read and review 'First Moments'

Title: The title brings a lot of different images to the mind. First love, first steps, first stroller rides (I'm a new grandmother *Wink*.

Description: This is where people decided if they even want to bother. Entice the readership of WDC to open and take a peek at your work. Nerves and first meetings, I totally understand that feeling.

Contents: How delightful. You've captured those first few moments of total nervous energy when that 'dream guy' walks up and speaks. All of the chaos that goes on in the mind... what do I say, because you don't want to sound stupid. That how do I come across feeling, waiting for the response, and seeing acceptance followed by that feeling of relief. Excellent exchange.

Thumbs up: You've captured a special moment in time, with gusto.

" A saliva choked warped uttering escapes the pressure
I hardly recognise the sounds " This line conjured the image of a pressure cooker for me. Awesome!

Conventions: I'm not sure where you're from, recognize - US spelling.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.

Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.

Amay

*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*Candlev*


** Image ID #1482287 Unavailable **
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Review of Name Challenge  Open in new Window.
Review by Amay Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Agenta M,

Happy WDC Anniversary!

I’m honored to read and review 'Name Challenge'

Title: Interesting, I wasn't sure what was to come- I guess I missed the challenge.

Description: Punch up your description. This is where people decided if they even want to bother. Entice the readership of WDC to open and take a peek at your work.

Contents: It's interesting to watch your thought processes through the essay. I think with it being written in the third person, it kind of threw me. It's like it wanted to be a story touching on the fantasy elements grounded in reality, but it didn't quite make it there. I'm not sure if this is even making sense. I enjoyed reading your essay. It was definitely clear and concise.

I just felt like it wanted to be more, or maybe its that I wanted it to be fuller with more detail. I have no idea what the word limit was on this contest, and I hate saying it needed more without knowing. I know that I've had reviews where the reviewer wanted more of 'detail' and to add what they thought was missing would have sent the piece way over the limit.

Thumbs up for entering a contest and I hope you did well.

Conventions: I didn't notice any errors in conventions or spelling. This is a well written piece.


Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.

Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.

Amay

*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*Candlev*


** Image ID #1482287 Unavailable **
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Review by Amay Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
I would love to sit by the fire and listen to your stories. Your writing fascinates me and you've captured the innocence that's been lost in this country. Parents coddle their children. Little respect is shown for the earth, their community or themselves. It breaks my heart to see the changes since I started teaching, and I'm not saying how long ago that was *Wink*. I'll just say, when I started teaching I had 50 kindergartners. Their parents didn't make excuses for them, they wanted to know what they needed to do to help their child be the best they could be. By the time I left the classroom, everything was about what I'd done or not done to their child. There wasn't any expectation for the child to be anything but a brat.
I remember days with my grandfathers and grandmothers and how special those days were. The stories my family told about how the Shoemakers ended up in TN, and the Phillips' in SC. The Faires and their history that still amazes me that our families have been on this continent so long. Seems like my own family has ended up pretty much where all of my ancestors started out in North Carolina, 13+ generations ago. Things do seem to come full circle.
My brother in law spent time in South Dakota when he first got married. His wife passed last fall. It's been a hard road for him. He worshiped the ground she walked on. He's still mourning her loss and probably always will.
I've started rambling... and remembering... it's been a nice (sort of one-sided) visit.

Katrina
** Image ID #1482287 Unavailable **
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Review by Amay Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a beautiful way to remember those who serve so far from home. Thank you for the honor of giving back something small to those who give so much.

I think your plan is a marvelous idea and hopefully you'll see a lot of participation from the WdC family.

I wonder if there is a way to find someone from the other countries represented here on WdC, to run with your concept for their home countries and military that won't be home for Christmas or other winter holidays? Wouldn't that be a wonderful gift?

Thank you, from a Navy Mom. *Wink*
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