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Review by Amay Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi WillieLinn,
I’m honored to read and review 'It's Raining Again'

Title: Your title works well with your item.

Description: You've set up a lush scene, let your audience know that's what they're looking for.

Contents: Vividly detailed, set up to ... what? Where do you see this going? Will you continue this scene and why this person has the gun, why is he so cautious? You have my curiosity aroused, and you've left me hanging.

Thumbs up: You do have talent. Don't let anyone tell you differently. It reminds me of an old Bogart style movie, thew way you've set your scene up.

Keep writing , keep developing your craft. Enjoy your time here on WDC.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.
Amay
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Review by Amay Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi cle001,

I’m honored to read and review 'That's Not What I Said'

Title: I can't even begin to think how many times I've said that same line. It was a natural draw for me.

Description:This is where people decided if they even want to bother. Entice the readership of WDC to open and take a peek at your work. Would you be likely to scour someone's port and choose 'picked a writing prompt?' Tease, make us curious.

Contents: Very comical situation! The poor narrator of your story, my heart goes out to him/ her.

Thumbs up: For using humor to lighten a difficult situation.

Conventions: I'd love to know what the prompt was.
I didn't see any errors or grammatical mistakes.


Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.
Amay
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Review of Training Log 1  Open in new Window.
Review by Amay Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Okay, I think I need you here to kick my butt back into gear. I've been skipping the exercise routine since we went to see my grandson in FL. That was October. Since then my exercise 'area' in my office has been the sewing room finishing up quilts and making baby stuff. No room to exercise with two desks, a card table and extra chairs in here- for real, there was barely room to walk. Everything has been completed for a couple of weeks and I've still not started back, even with the simplest yoga CD, or a stretch CD.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, I don't plan to over eat, especially since we're going to a friends house. No left overs here to gorge on, so that will help. Howard's off Friday, so he'll have plans I'm sure. Monday! First thing, starting the week off right.

I promise! No matter what time my elderly mother screams.. 'Is it time to get up yet!" It's going to be me time first.

Thank you for sharing your workout logs here on WdC.
Amay
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Review of Epic Empowerment  Open in new Window.
Review by Amay Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Tazz871,

I’m honored to read and review "Epic Empowerment"

Title: Your title truly fits your poem.

Description: This is where people decided if they even want to bother. Entice the readership of WDC to open and take a peek at your work. What have you given them to make them curious?

Contents: A story known by many, that's so unnecessary. Yet, it is a vicious cycle proprogating generation after generation of abusers. The strength it takes to stand and become someone that won't take the abuse is immense. Courage, determination, and self preservation all have to be a part of that mix.

Thumbs up:"As if sensing my decision to stand by her side, she looks at me and smile

For the first time in a long time
we agree to face the problem as one

Before we leave to go confront her abuser, she turns back to the mirror, to
look at me

That's when it hit me--I was bruised too. Not physically but emotionally" to this point, I thought that a child was being strong. What a wonderful twist you created. Delightful!

Conventions:

>>>As if sensing my decision to stand by her side, she looks at me and smile(s)

>>>And now I can brave her through everything... This line is awkward. I can be her strength through everything? maybe?

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.
Amay
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Review of Unruly Relations  Open in new Window.
Review by Amay Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hi Justin,

Wow, you've written a nail biter! Threw in a few twists to boot. Very nicely done.


You started out indenting, then changed to block- pick one or the other, both work you just have to stick to one. Block is probably the easiest when you're posting here, at least I find it easiest.

A couple of places you jumped in scenes so quickly I kind of got lost, had to stop and reread to see if I'd skipped lines.

It was mostly over the afterhours seen however, a somewhat big racket, but not the amount of money that would constitute murder, especially in such a raw fashion. (after hours.... scene)

, they hosted events every thanksgiving (Thanksgiving)

police assistants (assistance)

No need for The End...


Very. very much improved as far as conventions. Nice job. Keep it up!

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Review of The Beat  Open in new Window.
Review by Amay Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Lara Byratcki,

Happy WDC Anniversary!

I’m honored to read and review 'The Beat'

Title: The title works well with the theme of your poem.

Description: Punch up your description. This is where people decided if they even want to bother. Entice the readership of WDC to open and take a peek at your work.

Contents: You've captured the joy of music in your brief poem. Delightfully brief, but the flow and rhythm match the theme, you've created your own music with your poem.

Thumbs up: I love how the intensity builds through the second stanza.

Conventions: Poetry is an area where you have two trains of thought. One camp believes that punctuation and conventions must be followed even if it is a poem. Then you have the camp that believes anything goes. You've written to the second camp, which as this poem's creator is your right.

Alas, I have my very own pet peeve that I feel must be mentioned. While you've not used capital letters after your periods, there is one place where capital letters are required. The personal pronoun "I". You have two- the third line from the bottom and the last line.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.

Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.

Amay

*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*Candlev*


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Review of Mr. C  Open in new Window.
Review by Amay Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Hi JLS,

I’m honored to read and review 'Mr. C'

Title and Description: Your title and description work well together, but seeing Mr. C alone is kind of bland. I know figuring out a title and description are both hard for me and I've been known to change them several times while I'm trying to get something that doesn't give too much away, while enticing someone to come in to read the story.

Contents: You've captured the story of a seemingly guilty school maintenance guy, with an alter ego that you've led the reader to believe that he's the serial killer in the community. Thankfully the twist at the end reminds the reader it isn't fair to jump to conclusions about anyone. I'd hate to think of a serial killer sulking around in a school, which made it a great choice.
You've captured the innocence lost of one of your young characters, and the conversation between children (albeit hard to follow without tags). You've captured the fear of the mom as she goes down into Mr. C's basement. The plot points all work well together.

Thumbs up: You've captured a sense of terror, and building intensity through your tale.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.

The hard part...
Conventions: Commas, voice tags to know who is speaking, spelling, paragraphs, spacing.

If I were to hazard a guess, correct me if I'm wrong. This was a story begging to be told, but you haven't gone back to edit it to get all the kinks out. If that's where its at, then it's time to polish it up. There is something special in your story. I really enjoyed reading it, but there were places where the conventional errors pulled me out of the story and I started wanting to fix it.

One thing that I do consistently, is I go back and read each paragraph, and sometimes I break it down and read a piece sentence by sentence out loud. That is an easy way to see if you've left out any words and you can check for commas, speaker tags, and stuff like that.

One of the teacher's that I worked with husband is dyslexic, and she would go back and proof read his letters to parents and such, from the bottom up. It helped her focus on punctuation an meaning of each section. I've found out that it works when working with a first draft and catching things that my fingers just couldn't keep up with my mind.

I think that's the biggest thing, I think your mind was going faster than your fingers.

One of the things I would do with my students is to break it down. Try to remember that your audience is basically stupid. They don't know anything that's inside your head. You have to tell them everything... correction, you have to put your pictures of the action into their heads. Use your senses, you really started using them when describing the smells toward the end, and how delicious the dinner was, go back to the beginning and see if you can add some of those details to the beginning.

I know I've given you a lot to take in and process. I really think if you put a little effort into proofing and adding some of the details you see in your mind's eye to your written word you'll have a terrific tale!

Keep writing. Keep sharing. Composing stories that have a person sitting on the edge of their seat with bated breath are a work of art, and Mr. C is heading in that direction!

Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC. I'll look forward to reading more of your work in the future.

Amay
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Review of Silent Rain  Open in new Window.
Review by Amay Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Kevin,

Happy WDC Anniversary!

I’m honored to read and review 'Silent Rain'

Title: I love the title. It brings back memories of long ago beach trips.

Description: Punch up your description, focus on your piece, not your state of mind. This is where people decided if they even want to bother. Entice the readership of WDC to open and take a peek at your work.

Contents: Wow, you've captured that feeling of hopelessness with your words, choices of questions, the pauses. Absolutely love how you've set up the ending with your questions from the beginning.

Thumbs up: My heart died with her. (The perfect ending)

Conventions: I didn't notice any errors. The way you've built the tension from the beginning is great, I can't think of anything that I could suggest to make your poem stronger. I think it's pretty much perfect as it stands.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.
Amay
*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*Candlev*


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Review of One Last Hero  Open in new Window.
Review by Amay Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Kale Pyro,

Happy WDC Anniversary!

I’m honored to read and review 'One Last Hero'

Title: Interesting title, I opened this on Veteran's Day so my mind was already headed in one direction. Your poem led me in another.

Description: This is where people decided if they even want to bother. Entice the readership of WDC to open and take a peek at your work.

Contents: Our own inner demons have a way of hiding the heroes that are all around us. Sometimes we just can't see the forest for all the trees as the old saying goes.

Thumbs up: I love how you've intersperced the poem with you questions of contemplation.

Conventions: wether - whether is the correct spelling for the US

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.
Amay
*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*Candlev*


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Review of Clowning Around  Open in new Window.
Review by Amay Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Lightbringer,

Happy WDC Anniversary!

I’m honored to read and review 'Clowning Around'

Title: Love the title.

Description: Your description fits, but does it entice someone into opening your work?

Contents: First, I love clowns. My husband's family lives in Circus City (Peru, IN). Each summer the kids of the town put on a circus. There's a week long festival and it's just marvelous. My mother-in-law's doctor was the lead/ ringmaster clown for years. So clowns are very special to me.
When I read your piece, I drifted back down memory lane and Red Skelton's clown and his painting. There is a genius in being a clown. But your clown wants to be ordinary, it seems, taken seriously instead of joyfully.
You've created a scenario where the everyday world is trying to make him be something he doesn't want to be, a twist on bullying. A twist on coming of age, will he have the strength to make himself into something else? Interesting quandaries.

Thumbs up for your visual details, very nicely done.

Conventions: I read an article this week about the over use of italics. It was interesting in that it implied that authors shouldn't dummy down their writing with italics indicating the character's thoughts. Readers understood which texts were thoughts without the visual cues. It was something that I had to sit and ponder a while.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.
Amay
*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*Candlev*


** Image ID #1482287 Unavailable **
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Review by Amay Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Frances,

Happy WDC Anniversary!

I’m honored to read and review 'The Flower of Despair'

Title: Your title is interesting, seems like a contradiction in terms.

Description: Your description is your first sentence. Interesting choice.

Contents: Just one question, when are you going to write more? You've created a scene, and left me hanging. This could easily be worked into a much larger piece. Perhaps starting with what happened before she passed out and continuing on with what happened after she found out more about that tied up body.

Thumbs up: Keep working on this. I can see so many ways that this can grow into something marvelous.

Conventions: You don't have to put thoughts in quotation marks, since they aren't said out loud. Italics are alright, but not necessary. It does make it easier for the reader to understand it's a thought. I just read an article that was really big on not overusing italics. It made me take pause and think about some of my writing.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.
Amay
*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*Candlev*


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Review of Sands  Open in new Window.
Review by Amay Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Payal~is~Happiness,

Happy WDC Anniversary!

I’m honored to read and review 'Sands'

Title: I love the beach, and when I saw the title, I thought it might be beach related, so let's take a peek.

Description: There is a typo in your description (evening). This is where people decided if they even want to bother. Entice the readership of WDC to open and take a peek at your work.

Contents: Many years ago, I wrote a story about a long distance love and the scene was set at the beach. You've captured a similar moment and it brought my piece back to my mind. I love it when that happens. Two different people in two different times and places having similar thoughts but different ways to express them.

Thumbs up:
“Darling , etch my name out here
For it will be here to forever stay”.

Conventions:
A venue of our first meet>> I think it should be the venue, and meeting

Your's- should be just yours.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.
Amay
*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*Candlev*


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Review of Moments  Open in new Window.
Review by Amay Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Scarlet Black,

Happy WDC Anniversary!

I’m honored to read and review 'Moments'

Title: The title is so totally appropriate for your piece.

Description: So many moments in life are lost from us. Those we truly want to cherish forever, we need to write about.

Contents: A moment in time, captured in a short piece. It's beautifully written.

Thumbs up: 'Because what happens later happens later. Now is now, and you close your eyes in bliss, trying to engrave this moment into your memory.' So very true!

Conventions: I think I would have said child-like instead of childish.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.
Amay
*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*Candlev*


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Review of The Tower  Open in new Window.
Review by Amay Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi D. T. Conklin,

Happy WDC Anniversary!

I’m honored to read and review 'The Tower.'

Title:

Description: Your description leads the reader into your port to see how humanity is its own worst enemy.

Contents: Interesting piece of fantasy. You've told the story, and one of the things I'm thinking of when I'm reading it is 'show me', make me a part of the world. It's hard when its a fantastical world. Perhaps if the impressions emanated from the cat like creature.

Thumbs up: Your metaphor is consistent throughout your story. The two legged creatures will always find a way to mess up something, it seems.

Conventions: I didn't notice any grammatical errors or conventional errors.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.
Amay
*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*Candlev*


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Review of The Scribble Bug  Open in new Window.
Review by Amay Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Matt,

Happy WDC Anniversary!

I’m honored to read and review the items in your folder 'The Scribble Bug'

Title: The title caught my eye. It sounded interesting so I peeked in to see what a Scribble Bug was. or what it had to offer.

Description: I don't know much about blogging, but you have enticed the readership of WDC to open and take a peek at your plan.

Contents: Like I said, I've looked through all of this folder. What a massive undertaking. I don't know if it got off the ground. It's kind of hard to tell. The premise sounds very interesting.

I would suggest, if you're really interested in seeing this take off, you've got to keep it listed on the activities forum pages.

Thumbs up: You've created a wonderful plan, and I know you realized how massive this undertaking will be by reading some of the posts.

Conventions: I didn't notice any errors, I will you well in this massive endeavor.


Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.
Amay
*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*Candlev*


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Review of Love of Distance  Open in new Window.
Review by Amay Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Talera,

Happy WDC Anniversary!

I’m honored to read and review 'Love of Distance'

Title: Interesting title, distance relationships can be so hard.

Description: The description speaks to me, piqued my curiosity

Contents:While the miles may separate, the love of two that need each other won't falter. Very lovely sentiments, very poetic flow to read.

Thumbs up: 'But the elements will keep us together.' What a delightful way to think about being together yet far apart.

Conventions: I loved the flow, your poem has natural pauses built within the lines. Excellent work.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.
Amay
*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*Candlev*


** Image ID #1482287 Unavailable **
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Review of Autumn of Life  Open in new Window.
Review by Amay Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Big Mike 2 Humble2bragbut... (love that handle!),

Happy WDC Anniversary!

I’m honored to read and review 'Autumn of Life'

Title: It's the perfect subject matter for this time of year!

Description: Not many people use allegory in their descriptions. I think it's great.

Contents: So true, so true. Fall is the preparation for rest, to burst forth in spring and summer. Excellent allegory.

Thumbs up: 'They are happy to shed their old, looking forward to the new.' Touching!

Conventions: No errors noted. I like how you used the colors of fall in your piece. I wondered why you decided to center the last line?

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.
Amay
*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*Candlev*


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Review of Sweet Tooth  Open in new Window.
Review by Amay Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)

Hi J. D. Blaire,

I’m honored to read and review 'Sweet Tooth'

Title: Happy Halloween! I'm reading about sweets, to hopefully keep me out of the Halloween candy bowl!

Description: Punch up your description. This is where people decided if they even want to bother. Entice the readership of WDC to open and take a peek at your work.

Contents: Congratulations on the Honorable mention. I have to note those things too, or I'll never remember any of it.

What a delightful tale! I personally think it should have taken first place!

Thumbs up: A very nice twist at the end.

Conventions: I didn't notice any errors.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.
Amay
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Review of HAPPY HALLOWEEN!  Open in new Window.
Review by Amay Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Countrymom IN SHADOWS ,

I’m honored to read and review ' Happy Halloween.'

Title: Happy Halloween, to you too!

Description: I can't wait to read it!

Contents: How sweet and delightful! I've often been accused of riding my broom to work some times. I really enjoyed how the poem flowed as I read it. It was light and breezy to read.

Thumbs up for jovial Halloween musings... incorporating children, and witches flying on brooms.

Conventions: I didn't notice any errors at all. Delightful read!

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.
Amay
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Review by Amay Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi meastburn0808,

I’m honored to read and review 'The Day You Will Never Forget.'

Title: Interesting title to find on the search page for Halloween... My mind goes straight to getting married, having my first child ( I slept through the second).

Description: Punch up your description. This is where people decided if they even want to bother. Entice the readership of WDC to open and take a peek at your work.

Contents: A scary little incident of younger days. I can't even imagine what I'd do.

Conventions: There are several typos, and grammatical errors. Things you probably didn't catch when proof reading.
I'll share a couple, they're all easy fixes. There were scary haunted house stuff everywhere. >> was instead of were.
It was very cold the night.>> that instead of the.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.
Amay
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Review by Amay Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Indy Sports Fan ,

I’m honored to read and review 'Trick or Treat Scare'

Title: Happy Halloween.... I like the title, which is why I'm reading your poem tonight.

Description:Punch up your description. This is where people decided if they even want to bother. Entice the readership of WDC to open and take a peek at your work.

Contents: I love how you start and end the poem with the same stanza. The repetition of such a rhythmic section sets the tone for your piece.

Since your first and last verses have four lines that rhyme aabb, the middle seems a little out of sorts. I was totally lost when you had the cow.

I know this piece was from a long time ago. Maybe it's time to bring it out and tweak it.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.
Amay
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Review of I Remember  Open in new Window.
Review by Amay Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
My Mother has Alzheimer's, you've captured so much in your poem. Oh man the inhibitions... lol, I can't tell you how many times she's come out of her bedroom not knowing what to do next.

Sum1swriting suggested your poem to me, bless him, bless your daughter, bless you for supporting her in a way an author can.

Your poem hurts, its so real to me and my life's journey right now.

Thank you;
Amay
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Review by Amay Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi Talicia Em ,

I’m honored to read and review 'Vampiric Interdiction: Prologue'

Title:

Description:Nice description.

Contents: There are a couple of places you go from third person, to first, then back to third. Pick your story teller and stick with it. If Villahr is going to be the lead, and you want to tell his story from his POV, you have to stick with that. Switching confuses the reader.

I think you've got the beginning of a really interesting read, if you're interested in jumping on the paranormal wagon. Keep your thoughts original and unique to your characters and settings.



Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.
Amay
** Image ID #1900361 Unavailable **
274
274
Review by Amay Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Joy,

I’m honored to read and review My Indomitable Duct Tape

Title: Interesting title, love the adjectives

Description: Shares with the reader the purpose of the poem. I'd love to know the results of the Slam

Contents: If only reality was easily fixed by duct tape. One Christmas many years ago, my sons both received books about the wonders and marvels of duct tape. Wouldn't it be delightful to duct tape all of our political candidates together, until they decided to put the needs of the nation as a whole first and foremost in their minds. Bind their cronies mouths shut and tape their ears open to hear the real needs of the people. That might make an interesting story.

Thumbs up:
I sense, someday,
akin to a magician with his last secret,
my duct tape will mend and protect
delicate hearts
and bind the universe together
inside a friendly radiance.

Conventions: No errors noted

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.
Amay
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275
275
Review of Praying Mantis  Open in new Window.
Review by Amay Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Catwoman,

I’m honored to read and review Praying Mantis,

Title: Appropriate for your piece

Description: Works well with your picture and information

Contents: I saw the picture of the praying mantis, and had to come look at it. What interesting insects. The females pull the heads off the males and eats it. The babies hatch out of an egg sac. We had the unfortunate pleasure of having a child bring in an egg sac for show and tell. It was forgotten and left in the room for a few days. Needless to say, we had hundreds of baby praying mantises crawling around one Monday morning. They look just like the adults, only much smaller. the babies we had were about 1/8 of an inch. Oh my, the memories of trying to get all of the babies outside without stepping on any.

Thumbs up: Absolutely beautiful photo to go with your piece.

Conventions: No errors noted.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.
Amay
** Image ID #1482287 Unavailable **
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