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 |  Blog and other works of literary sense |
| Here is a collection of ruminations and whatnot. |
| I once read somewhere that upon rising in the morning I have two choices: to feel happy or to be sad. I've risen today and felt happy enough to get going. There have been a few times when I get a wish to stay and lie in bed and relax more but I've had the inspiration to get up and get going. I choose today to be happy and despite all the thoughts that have been ghosting me since I awoke I am going to push through. I see enough bad news on the Twitter feed and on FB but I feel as though this is just another day to slog through for many of us. There is that sense one needs to feel sad and sympathetic but I must take care of my own sanity. I've been persuaded so many times that things won't go well with Colin. I don't want to lose him and I know he doesn't want to lose me. I am one of the people he should trust more than anyone in his life. His life is filled with actors who may still be reading or memorizing scripts while they go with him in some way. The evil spirits in the lives of us are trying to get us to go with the script that they think we ought to go with and it always takes us into a sad mood, even to the depths of sadness so much so we want to kill ourselves. This is their MO - to make us sad and kill ourselves and spare them the trouble of doing the dirty deed themselves. So I want Colin to know that I am loving him as much as I can despite the fact that we've not had a cup of coffee together in the middle of the world. I do not know when that good occasion will happen but I am looking forward to it. I somehow wish I could make it into a story or some scene where we will meet and it will have a nice ending. I am always an optimist, and want good endings and beginnings and middles for people like Colin and me. I do not know how lovers are faring along. In some places we might think it's best to pretend we're strangers when we've had each other. I hope this sort of subterfuge will end and lovers will come and meet and forget the rest of the world. God will take care of it and we will survive. We will survive intact with all senses and our minds intact as well, remembering how we loved each other and how we felt when we shared love. I do not subscribe to going along some dreamy path because it is only going to be made into a different scene by those who are eager to break us up. I know that God is present in our lives and in our dreams but I think being solid together in all ways is the way to go. Why would we want to be afraid of the devil and his minions for they are shackled by their being in Hell always. We are, lovers that we are, in Heaven all the time. If we should feel sad or some sad event has made us sad, we each of us can buoy each of us each other to get to feeling better and think of how we can move forward. There's no need to be stuck in the past or fasten our gazes on the sad things that we've gone through. We have had to go through events and sadness, true, but the evil ones want to throw it up in our faces every time we make a step forward. We must recognize this and tell off that bastard and then move on. We must meet someday and it will happen. I may be in a mood where I'm not receptive or reactive in the way one might wish but that is me. I'm not someone who gets all huffy about anything or any thought that tries to make me think of them and then attend to them. I'd consign them to the fire as they used to in the old days. My life now is as stable as it can be, with a few times of being irritated, thwarted and that sort of thing but it's not going to make me go to some fetal position and moan about it. It happens to everyone. It's part of living in this country and other places. Yes, it's part of the earthly life but what other life is there unless one is so cossetted that every sad thing even the slightest discouraging word will make us sad. This sort of life is reserved for children who can't defend themselves and it is up to the mature people who have kids to tell them that this sort of happening will not cow them into submission and to move on and move forward confident that we are heading into the right direction. Those who wish to constrain us might succeed but they won't succeed all the time. They are never going to take over our lives and make us do what they want. There's a point where we've had enough of these bastards who are always trying to persuade us that going with them is FUN or that we will make a lot of money, we will have fame and fortune, we will have all the conveniences of life. Well, life is not a convenience it is a way of deaing with things that we have to deal with and then not to sweat the small stuff. Things will take care of themselves or at least, if we ask God to deal with it if we've had enough thoughts to cycle through we can't do everything and so we'll say God it's all Yours. That's what God does and He can't be denied and He will be powerful against all who try to make us feel as though there's no hope or no way out. This caged meme is making the people of God feel that way - that there's no escape. I do think we can get away and we must find that right thought where we can start putting our feet in front of each other and walk the way God wants us to. I know I'm calling on God when I speak of Him. There are people who wish to deny His Presence and that is where chaos lives. If we can't call on God in the middle of a chaotic event how else can we find relief? I've had times when i was blown low and I would moan and groan and call on God and finally He comes and I get lifted out of my sad thoughts and I am able to deal with things. And sometimes we can't even remember what it was that laid us low, you see. We cannot suffer for nothing we must suffer willingly if that is what's asked of us and that is also part of living this earthly life. We have to do it and there's some relief and we must find the simple ways to get us from being depressed. The simple life and things are free and if there's a cautionary thought we should acknowledge it as we are given the Wisdom of the Holy Spirit so we don't just throw things to the wind and go off and do things when we might be doing something more to keep us alive. Our lives are precious and we must always be sure to keep our lives secure and the only way to do it is to pray to God every day to keep us safe and those we love safe. We can't do more than that sometimes but we can if we are able to see what risks might be ahead for the little ones we take care of. But others we must tell Him it's Yours and I've no way to prevent things from happening so it's God's job to do it. I don't now what more to say but there are so many things we can do for ourselves each day and one of them is to make sure we eat and that we take water and if we have to take meds to keep us from feeling too pained in our minds and our bodies. We must take vitamins, and do what we can that we humanly can around the places we live - wash dishes or do laundry something to get us out of this immobilitiy and inertia that the evil one wants us to dwell in all the time. If we're always lying in bed or sitting doing nothing but looking at our cell phones we will make the evil ones come over us and take over what we are doing and make us think the things the evil one wants us to dwell on. Melancholia is a bad thing and it's a precursor to depression. I'm somehow a bit like that but only on some things like romance and love. But I have an optimistic thought about love because it's what we must always reach for. Even those of us who've had some sort of run in with bad lovers should always hope there is a special someone that God has reserved for us somewhere. I am sure that I have that love somewhere living somewhere in the world whose name is Colin Firth. I know that it's rather a long reach to think of but I know he has his spirit with me. Don't ask me how it works because it's beyond my comprehension and I don't wish to question it. It's a gift and that is all. There are many of you who are listening and I pray that you will all be protected while you go about your work. Be happy but don't try to look for something that will elevate your happiness artificiallly. Mood altering drugs are dangerous and it can make you go with the wrong crowd and that crowd are all bastards, devils and ghosts. So just be calm and pleasant and don't go into hysterics about things. it might cause people to wonder if you should be someone they ought to go with and then they'll steal your happiness. Be good to your family as they are the only ones who you will have to support you and if your family are bastards then get away from them and then find peace in a solitary fashion until God gives you the real family who you belong to. Love, Mary |
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