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A collection of thoughts and ideas |
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Welcome friend
You have found my collection of ideas and thoughts. Who knows there might even be an article or two hidden in here. |
| Let's see what all I have done so far this week. Well I have gotten to work on time so far all week. Grant it I make a point to try to catch the bus that is early so that I don't have to run across a large parking lot. That normally makes me about 15 minutes early when I get to work. I got one out of three chairs built. I managed to clear up a lot of clutter at one of the work stations though today I get to do that again. Of course there is my daily dusting and sanitizing i do before i can work on any thing else. Through out the next 2 weeks i get to go through one aisle of top stock and do a scan delete put away. Not a lot ti it just time consuming and normally not something that goes fast. But I keep going and prove not a lot can stop me. Not a lot will stop me once I get going. |
Such a grey day outside. I know we need the rain and I see that the plants are just loving the fact they have water. I just wish I could figure out how to meat new people in my area to be around. I know it is silly but it has been 4 plus years since I left my ex. I did so so that I did not have to deal with feeling abandoned by his drinking or the abuse I got to deal with when he was drinking. Today I feel the need to be around people other than my customers at work. I want to drop the mask I wear emotionally to protect my customers from how I am really feeling. It feels like most people I am around don't want to know the real my and all that I have been taught to do. At times I know it has scared people away from me. |
| What can I say about my son. He is a good kid and ever so lonely. I hate that I have to work and leave him at home. I know he is old enough to care for himself. I see how me being at work is affecting him. He grew up with me at his side. Something wrong he could turn to me and have me right there to deal with it instead of waiting for me to show up. I sit here today hurting inside. My dear son came home while dinner was cooking Sat down in his chair and fell asleep. Because he was sleeping he did not see that I was doing some of the dishes sitting on the counter. I really did not think about it I had music playing a peaceful atmosphere and in the mood to get things done. In fact I was feeling good about myself enjoying just fiddling around in the kitchen. Once dinner was done cooking I kept trying to get my son to wake up. I managed to revive him just to get him screaming that I was trying to starve him. The worst part was I was just trying to get him up so he could eat. I was even willing unknown to him to let him eat in his room because he had fallen asleep in the main room. Ok, a bit of house lay out. We have a kitchen that is attached to the main room. Off that is the bedroom and then the bathroom. I sleep in the main room so my son can have the bedroom. I honestly don't mind being in the main room. Most of the time my son is a sweetheart. Though he plays on his game systems a lot I know he cares just is unsure of how to show it. Though this morning he made a point to stay up so he could walk to the store with me just because he could. He even made sure that I had all I needed to catch the bus. He has been the reason that through all the hell we have been through I have been able to keep going. I always have to remind myself to that my son has the right to go do things without me. Yet, I always want to shadow him considering our past. Instead, I let him go out and spend time with friends. I wait at home my phone at my side listening for the cry for help. There has been more than once he has surprised me by going to the store a good 2 miles away to go get things. He has even gone and gotten me gifts. I know that all the money he spends is what I make. I know that he wants to be able to help support us. He sees how worn out I am most of the time and wants to be able to help out with little things like the phone bill and internet so we can do more together. |
| I find it funny how my great friends here have allowed me to know that I am not alone yet it is a series of tv shows that remind me we can pull through this no matter how alone we are always able to even in the deepest of space. I have always enjoyed watching Star Trek and all the different story lines that are in the different series. I turned on my cable tv box at the start of the lock down in my state seeking the peace of memories the tv shows brought back just to find an other side affect of reassurance things can get better. I know it is not much but the simple fact is I have been watching a show about those wondering through space unable to really be in the same room with loved ones and having to face dangers of the unknown. I dear friends here have shown me that even alone others care. Not many other sites had people that ignored the fact we live in different places; live different lives; enjoy different beliefs. Instead we come together sporting each other encouraging to be ourselves while celebrating our differences and similarities. Thank you my friends. |
| It's funny, how just being able to ride a bus again can uplift spirits. Yes, there is light in all the grey we are seeing. I know it is not easy to find but one place I have found it is here on writing.com it is not every day i find a place that dose not mind the bad you have been through yet reaches out to help support those around them just because they can. I wish more of our world could see how amazing this group really is. Yes, I do share our great group as much as possible. |
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Happy WDC Birthday and happy holidays SW. 
