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A collection of thoughts and ideas |
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You have found my collection of ideas and thoughts. Who knows there might even be an article or two hidden in here. |
| What can I say about my son. He is a good kid and ever so lonely. I hate that I have to work and leave him at home. I know he is old enough to care for himself. I see how me being at work is affecting him. He grew up with me at his side. Something wrong he could turn to me and have me right there to deal with it instead of waiting for me to show up. I sit here today hurting inside. My dear son came home while dinner was cooking Sat down in his chair and fell asleep. Because he was sleeping he did not see that I was doing some of the dishes sitting on the counter. I really did not think about it I had music playing a peaceful atmosphere and in the mood to get things done. In fact I was feeling good about myself enjoying just fiddling around in the kitchen. Once dinner was done cooking I kept trying to get my son to wake up. I managed to revive him just to get him screaming that I was trying to starve him. The worst part was I was just trying to get him up so he could eat. I was even willing unknown to him to let him eat in his room because he had fallen asleep in the main room. Ok, a bit of house lay out. We have a kitchen that is attached to the main room. Off that is the bedroom and then the bathroom. I sleep in the main room so my son can have the bedroom. I honestly don't mind being in the main room. Most of the time my son is a sweetheart. Though he plays on his game systems a lot I know he cares just is unsure of how to show it. Though this morning he made a point to stay up so he could walk to the store with me just because he could. He even made sure that I had all I needed to catch the bus. He has been the reason that through all the hell we have been through I have been able to keep going. I always have to remind myself to that my son has the right to go do things without me. Yet, I always want to shadow him considering our past. Instead, I let him go out and spend time with friends. I wait at home my phone at my side listening for the cry for help. There has been more than once he has surprised me by going to the store a good 2 miles away to go get things. He has even gone and gotten me gifts. I know that all the money he spends is what I make. I know that he wants to be able to help support us. He sees how worn out I am most of the time and wants to be able to help out with little things like the phone bill and internet so we can do more together. |
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