That what we are on the inside we keep hidden and what we are thinking is private from others. Great thoughts and it really causes one to think when they look at others.
Improvements if you so wish, implement only what you think will enhance your piece:
I think maybe some commas would help with the flow.
Encouragement:
I like yourdeep thoughts and how you describe the way you feel.
I have enjoyed my time with you and visiting your port. Thank-you for letting me critique your poem! Write on!
Improvements if you so wish, implement only what you think will enhance your piece:
No capitalization or punctuation in the poetry. I think a few commas might help break up some of the sentence. Otherwise it all flows together with no pause.
Encouragement:
I can tell you are a good writer with deep feelings so keep writing!
I have enjoyed my time with you and visiting your port. Thank-you for letting me critique your poem! Write on!
This poem does have an interesting title that drew me in!
Content, What you've conveyed to me::
It conveys to me to hang on no matter what comes up.
Improvements if you so wish, implement only what you think will enhance your piece:
I would say the flow is off by too lomg of lines in some places then too short in others. Of course maybe that's the way you wanted it and that's okay too since your the author!
Encouragement:
You detail is great and your descriptive phrases I like. Keep writing!
I have enjoyed my time with you and visiting your port. Thank-you for letting me critique your poem! Write on!
I love this poem it is a heartfelt cry from a person's soul!
Content, What you've conveyed to me::
The feeling displayed in this poem especially the last stanza is perfect.
Improvements if you so wish, implement only what you think will enhance your piece:
The improvements that you could if you so wish is the grammar.
Instead of this: Try this:
Tear trickles down my cheek (The tears trickle down my cheek
Kneeling down as I seek ( As I kneel down to seek
I look up my eyes do close (As I look up my eyes are closed
Screamin out with all my woes (As I scream out all my woes.
Of course it's your writing mine is just a suggestion. The way you have it comes across a little stilted at times when I read it.
Encouragement:
I can tell you have a way of writing with descriptive phrases that I envy! Keep up the awesome work!
I have enjoyed my time with you and visiting your port. Thank-you for letting me critique your poem! Write on!
This poem is a heartfelt poem coming from deep with in.
Content, What you've conveyed to me::
Same as above, I think it has a hard impact on anyone that is searching.
Improvements if you so wish, implement only what you think will enhance your piece:
I really think you could use some help with punctuation and capitailization. That would help a lot and the flow would be better
Encouragement:
Keep writing and I'm sure you'll be an excellent author before you know it.
I have enjoyed my time with you and visiting your port. Thank-you for letting me critique your poem! Write on!
The content appeared to be good and I liked the flow of the poem itself.
Grammar/Spelling
No grammar or spelling errors.
Does The story come together?
It blended right in as I read
Does the story hold your interest all the way through or does it bog down somewhere?
The only thing I wondered about was at times it rhymed and other times it didn't. Maybe that's the way you meant it too? That's okay to, this is just my opinion.
Would you recommend this piece to another reader?
Yes, I would definitely recommend it!
Any changes that might need to be done?
Not really. I'm just used to writing with rhyme
That you were glad to be back with her again and she made you feel welcome.
Improvements if you so wish, implement only what you think will enhance your piece:
I think the hardest thing I had understanding this poem was the word "gorgeous and "homely" used in the same sentence. That kind of threw me off on that sentence.
Encouragement:
I enjoyed your writing and am going to visit your port more often!
I have enjoyed my time with you and visiting your port. Thank-you for letting me critique your poem! Write on!
One part of this poem seems to admit doing wrong, yet the other part appears to excuse it. It comes across to me as if your really saying so what, it happens. Let's move on from here. This is just mytake on it.
Improvements if you so wish, implement only what you think will enhance your piece:
I would change your wording a little, the flow seems to be off but the poem it's self is great.
Encouragement:
This poem really shows you have a talent for writing! I think it just needs small tweaks here and there to be a five.
I have enjoyed my time with you and visiting your port. Thank-you for letting me critique your poem! Write on!
This poem has an excellent subject to make a person ponder over!
Content, What you've conveyed to me::
That you bail out of anything you attempt is my view on this. I could be wrong but that is what I get out of it.
Improvements if you so wish, implement only what you think will enhance your piece:
This poem doesn't seem to flow well at all as I read it but it can be improved on. I like the words but maybe a few more descriptive phrases would help?
Encouragement:
Keep writing and know that we all go through disappointments, it's how we handle them that count.
I have enjoyed my time with you and visiting your port. Thank-you for letting me critique your poem! Write on!
That you are writing out your inner feelings that are too deep right now to speak so you write. Some of do that and it helps heal.
Improvements if you so wish, implement only what you think will enhance your piece:
This piece stands by itself.
Encouragement: Keep writing even when you have the courage to speak out. Writing is an excellent way to let things out! By the way we here on this site welcome you!
I have enjoyed my time with you and visiting your port. Thank-you for letting me critique your poem! Write on!
My first impression is that this would make a great novel! It kept my interest and thats what it's supposed to do, right?
Plot Thoughts
The characters and plot held up quite well and kept the story moving right along. They were perfect for this story and your descriptive phrases were fine.
Errors
The only error thatI found was here:(freckles that she hide beneath her makeup.)I think its a typo; "hide" should be "hid".
My Favorite Part
My favorite part was when she kept nagging him! How like a person that cares for someone and he knew she did it because she cared.
Suggestions
Just the error above that I mentioned before.
Write On! I look forward to reading more of your work!
Being able to give or take constructive criticism with grace is a measure of a person's growth in maturity.
This kept my interest through out the entire story because it brought back old memories and believe me when I say I still have S and H Green Stamps around that my mom had given me!
Plot Thoughts
The whole story was very interesting and your description of each of your apartment items you bought was great!
Errors
I found no errors!
My Favorite Part
Muy favorite part was when the person was complaining about her trip! Still she got her trip and the other person put her in her place! that was cute!
Suggestions
No improvements needed! It was fun going back and sifting thru my own memories! Thanks!
Write On! I look forward to reading more of your work!
Being able to give or take constructive criticism with grace is a measure of a person's growth in maturity.
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First Impression: This was quite the story and I enjoyed it! I mean being so calm at dying at the age of twenty! I'm not sure I could!
Plot Thoughts
Errors
Suggestions
What was enjoyable and exceptional:
