First of all let me welcome you to our community here on writing.com, I am glad you found your way here.
I am so very sad that you feel this way. I know this feeling all too well and can therefore sympathise and can only offer my sincere word that things do get better, times change and there really is a light at the end of the tunnel no matter how distant it seems on first glance.
This poem is very personal and therefore I was expecting so much more passion and emotion. I felt thi spoem lacked this. Perhaps you could open up a little (I know sometimes that is hard) by illustrating the fear and loneliness, how does it feel? is it like something?
for example I feel the well of darkness climb up inside like a spider crawling along the silky threads of its lair.
This conjures a visual image that your readers can see and therefore relate to in some way.
I also feel the poem might be more effective centred due to the shape of the poem, being centred it would give an almost wobbly circular image that will help visualise the ball of loneliness inside the pit of the stomach.
On the plus side keep writing from the heart, you obviously feel this poem, and it comes from the heart where all good poetry should and almost always does.
What a perfect way to illustrate the true beauty of the rose.
I love the use of colour here, this only enhances the piece.
Your use of the senses always astounds me, you capture the very essence of each so wonderfully, I can certainly smell the scent of this wonderful and elegant flower.
You write with a hand that gently folds around nature, giving it the respect and awe it fully deserves. What an acheivment. I am sure nature is very grateful for your fantastic declarations of adoration.
Wonderful read yet again. I can almost see the little flower peeping from beneath its leaves. Sweet, very very sweet.
Your ability to take the reader along with you as you tread the nature trails is powerful and fulfilling. I can't think of another writer that has done that for me in a long while.
Again you write as if nature has truly guide your hand, but then what inspiration! Nature is full of the muse!
My favourite line -
"Elegance woven into
the wild landscape" - beautiful. I love simply this line.
I have always dreamt of a little cabin in the woods surrounded by nature, listening to the sounds it makes, the gentle hiss of the sun as she glides low before disapearing below the tree line of some far away hill, the rustle of the wind as she rushes through the leaves, the cool haze of the moon shining down amoung the grasses over the mountains. What a life that would be.
Beuatifully creates the mood here, you have certainly carrie dme off to another place and I am grateful!
Thank you!
I absolutely loved it and can only award it the full deserving five stars.
I saw, I felt, I smelt, I heared. What a candy-store-treat for my senses. I was truly taken to this place and felt a little of my heart left behind there.
This is almost like a snapshot. You give all the details without going into too much details.
Alas however, I felt I wanted those details. I wanted to see the whole picture, you gave me a taster but took away the main course.
I felt this one wasnt given the full Nikola treatment as I have seen in som many of your other nature poetry.
However this is not to say I didnt enjoyt he poem, I did, I just wanted more. Almost as if I have become too used to you giving me a treat for the eye, I now want it in all your pieces.
Again I feel that same sense of freedom and oneness with nature here.
You capture the scenery so well here, almost like a digital photograph. Beautifully done.
What would be an added bonus (talking of photography) is a photo of the places you write about as a header to each of your poems in this series. What a delight that would be!
I love going for walks in and around nature, it gives me such pleasure o breathe in deep the fresh air and let the cool breeze wash over and cleanse me. I wonder if you feel the same here. This poem certainly indicates that sense of freedom.
Beautifuklly written and I just love the rhyme scheme here, perfectly fits the nature that surrounds you.
Have a little look at -
"Meadowlarks trill their tune,
sensing a storm will be here soon." - the rhyme schem ehere is a little weak
Overall you oaint an idyllic setting. Makes me want to go off to the hills for a good Autimn walk. The colours of nature are perfect this time of year.
Your cleverly written words conjure the image so vividly that I just had to laugh, and beleive me I did so right out loud!
What a fantastic image, the tigress coming out and clawing her Dr Pepper back. I felt as if I wanted to run right up and hug you right there and calm you with anice cold can of Dr Pepper. You poor thing.
This is so relaistic, I felt I was a part of the story, the visual stimulae is so fantastic here that I wanted so much more. It is a cross between the frivilous comedy of Will and Grace and the diary-like Bridget Jones.
And yet, isnt so true that in this situation what is it that we go and do, we back down and clamber back into our corner. So true to life!
I would like to suggest that some of the descriptions here are a little on the more adult side for the content rating you have given and therefore suggest a more appropriate 13+ rating.
Write on, you have the nack to capture your audience and send them reeling. What a great job!
First of all I would like to point out that you need to re rate this item, the intro should be non-e and the content itself should be 13+ because of the theme you write about here.
Very sad and depressive poem, I felt it held no hope here and gave a bleak outlook.
Your rhyme scheme started off very well and felt natural perhaps a little monotone but that fits well with the theme yoou have here. The last half of the poem however loses that rhythm lustre and by the end loses rhyme altogether I feel. I wonder if this is intentional, if so I appologise but still feel it worked better witht he rhyme scheme.
Some very bleak imagery here and I felt very sad from reading it.
I would like to take this opportunity to welcome you to writing.com and to write on!
I loved the first one here, it gave me a funny warm and fuzzy sensation. Perhaps it reminded me that Christmas is almost here with it's winter theme.
The second was at first a little confusing, and I am still unsure if I have read it completely right. I am I right in saying you are talking about tree huggers? If so the hunour was certainly appreciated and light hearted, but a little unclear on first looking. PLease be sure to let me know if I have completely misread this one.
This is a very informative and well written piece.
Thanks for the links here, they proved very informative and proffessionally presented.
You provide here enough information about the website to wet the appetite for a look, but perhaps a little of what the book is about might instill another level of expectancy and desire to go check the website out.
I also noticed the title of this piece and was a little confused at the item type chosen, "novel" perhaps you might consider revising this to perhaps "article" or "other". I'm also wondering if the title grabs the readers attention enough to warrant them to come investigate. Food for thought maybe?
Overall, informative and provides us with a little taster of whats to come on the website although I would have liked to have had a little more to tantalise my tastebuds in the way of information on the book itself.
Although you do not tell of the actual act and how it actually happened, the insight into Frank's character is very much present here.
The horrific truth of Frank is that he seems such an ordinary guy, so ordinary in fact that one would never suspect him of any acts of such attrocity.
Gripping writing and although confusing (in the sense that we do not see that actual act) the strong implications through the snapshot here is sinister and chilling.
Well thought out and kept my attention. Chilling indeed.
As someone who has been diagnosed with Bipolar I found this both interesting and informative. The results of the poll are very useful. I am glad that no one as yet has said they stay away from people with Bipolar.
I am looking for articles relating to depression for a new online magazine that I am creating in relation to my group
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #886341 by Not Available.
The zine will be called The Torch and it's main purpose is to provide help and information to sufferes and a better understanding to friends and family and anyone who wishes to know more about the disease so that the barriers and stigma related to depression can be broken, the zine will also feature real life stories, articles giving information on specific forms of depression and treatments available, as well as an area where members can find examples of member's writing, news, new and upcoming events, activities, competitions and fundraisers.
After reading your poll and article/research "Noteworthy Bipolars" I was wondering if you would like to include these in the zine. The zine will be published on the net and so will hopefully reach a greater audience whilst also promoting both my group and writing.com as a whole.
I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for providing this poll, the information I see from it is hopeful and encouraging.
What an interesting look on reviewing, certainly a slant that I have never looked at before!
I love reviewing, reading pieces that someone has toiled over, spent time on perfecting, the joy of being able to give back a little of what the author gave in his/her piece.
I had never looked at how much work goes into reviewing before I had read this however, and thinking over the numerous words that flow out just to create a review makes me understand this piece and where you are coming from.
What a great way of looking at reviewing. After all it is another form of writing!
Great piece, informative and original whilst giving us a peek into your thoughts.
This is an odd story, I had no idea what it was about until the very end.
Great suspence building here, I was kept on my toes the whole time.
I was left wondering why Jerry hadn't taken the ball out of the living room and put it away out of sight. I can only imagine that the ball had done some serious damage to the living room.
Great build up and you deliver the story well. Certainly kept me alert.
This is very appropriate for the time of year seeing as it is almost halloween already.
What a lovely image, two little boys choosing their pumpkin. I would have liked to have seen a bigger story development however.
There doesn't feel to me as if there is any real point to the story, just a scene. What would have been great if the story ended with Billy and Jake becomming friends and Billy inviting Jake over for halloween or something along those lines.
The story up to its ending point is great, I see a lot of character development and I was really getting into the swing of the tale, however the abrupt ending made me feel as if this is very much incomplete and would love to hear more about the two little boys.
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.25 seconds at 5:11pm on May 18, 2024 via server web1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
