Format: Contest entry last modified--11:33pm on 12-01-2008 Word count--Exactly 55 words. Content rating--Appropriate.
Plot and content: Clear plot, nice satire. I did wish you'd been more specific about what was on his hands--an allusion to stains, or red droplets, or something--but I know that would wreak havoc on your word count.
Technical errors: None noted. Thanks for your careful attention to spelling, punctuation, and grammar!
Overall: Nicely done.
Congratulations on winning first place in Round 72 of "Invalid Item" !
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Format: Contest entry last modified--10:33pm on 12-06-2008 Word count--Exactly 55 words. Content rating--Appropriate.
Plot and content: You say a lot about the characters and their relationship, and throw in the holiday details to put it into context. The "plot" in this case is more about the back & forth of their struggle rather than any specific action, but I think it works here.
Technical errors: None noted. Thanks for your careful attention to spelling, punctuation, and grammar!
Overall: Good job.
Congratulations on winning second place in Round 72 of "Invalid Item" !
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Format: Contest entry last modified--9:56am on 11-22-2008 Word count--Exactly 55 words. Content rating--Appropriate.
Plot and content: Good story arc. I did have a little uncertainty about the main character. "His little hand" indicates a child, but his final thought ("we cannot afford this") seems more like something an adult would worry about, whereas a child might worry mostly about getting in trouble for it.
Technical errors: Italicize We cannot afford this to indicate that it is internal dialogue.
Overall: Good job, but some inconsistencies in characterization.
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Format: Contest entry last modified--11:51pm on 11-13-2008 Word count--Exactly 55 words. Content rating--Appropriate.
Plot and content: You told a complete and clear tale of seizing opportunity--or a walnut!--when it presents itself. Good, vibrant word choices (seizing, chattering, escape, etc.).
Technical errors: None noted. Thanks for your careful attention to spelling, punctuation, and grammar!
Overall: Nicely done.
Congratulations on winning first place in Round 69 of "Invalid Item" !
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Format: Contest entry last modified--3:34am on 10-31-2008 Word count--Exactly 55 words. Content rating--Appropriate.
Plot and content:A different image of Halloween night. I liked the poodle thrown in there. The phrase breathing was a result of direct intent seemed a little awkward, perhaps extended for word count when breathing was difficult would have done nicely.
Technical errors: None noted. Thanks for your careful attention to spelling, punctuation, and grammar!
Overall: Nice job.
Congratulations on winning second place in Round 67 of "Invalid Item" !
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Format: Contest entry last modified--11:12am on 10-31-2008 Word count--Unfortunately, your entry has 56 words. Content rating--Appropriate.
Plot and content:Clever porter entices traveler to let his guard down.
Technical errors: Multiple typos in word spacing and punctuation. Posting entries in a review forum is fine, and you can edit/correct up until the deadline! Don't be afraid to ask other WDC members to help with proofreading.
Overall: Nice "local color."
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Format: Contest entry last modified--3:54pm on 09-29-2008 Word count--Exactly 55 words. Content rating--Appropriate.
Plot and content: I liked the "dramatic" approach in this story. The juxtaposition of exhausted and fresh [from an emerg appendct] seemed incongruous, however.
Technical errors: None noted. Thanks for your careful attention to spelling, punctuation, and grammar!
Overall: Nice holiday tale.
Congratulations on winning second place in Round 63 of "Invalid Item" !
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Format: Contest entry last modified--4:35pm on 10-03-2008 Word count--Exactly 55 words. Content rating--Appropriate.
Plot and content:Nicely worded, but lacks characterization or context for the plot. Is he her father? Husband? Has she been unfaithful, or caught sneaking out at night? Time, place? What is the plaque that is so meaningful to them both?
Technical errors: None noted. Thanks for your careful attention to spelling, punctuation, and grammar!
Overall: A good start, but shows strain within the confines of the format.
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Format: Contest entry last modified--1:07am on 08-26-2008 Word count--Unfortunately, your entry has 57 words and is not eligible for a prize. Content rating--Appropriate.
Plot and content: I liked the creepy image of the weeping widow, the bell in his hand, and him waiting for his chance to prowl again.
Technical errors: None noted. Thanks for your careful attention to spelling, punctuation, and grammar!
Overall: Very nicely done...except the word count!
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Format: Contest entry last modified-- 8:48pm on 08-29-2008 Word count--Exactly 55 words. Content rating--Appropriate.
Plot and content: The situation is intriguing, but I felt dropped into the middle of it without a lot of context. Why is it a secret, and why is Janet embarrassed? Was she flirting with him, maybe? I did like how her description changes from red hair to red face.
Technical errors: Multiple punctuation errors affected the clarity and flow. Remember that only possessives and contractions use 's, not plurals. her blue eye's sparkling-->her blue eyes sparkling For help with using commas & periods in dialogue, see Davy Kraken's very thorough explanation in "Dialogue" .
Overall: A good start to an emotional scene, but needs polishing.
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I hope my comments have been helpful. For an explanation of how I rate and review, see "Invalid Item" . Please email me if you have other questions!
Format: Contest entry last modified--2:24pm on 08-24-2008 Word count--Your entry has 56 words, so it cannot be considered for a prize. Content rating--Appropriate.
Plot and content: A humorous incident is shown in its retelling to a friend. I did want to know why the call was so important--especially if it could be taken in the restroom.
Technical errors: Take out the first comma in Why is it, that every time.
Overall: Concisely recounted mishap.
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I hope my comments have been helpful. For an explanation of how I rate and review, see "Invalid Item" . Please email me if you have other questions!
Format: Contest entry last modified--12:54pm on 08-24-2008 Word count--Exactly 55 words. Content rating--Appropriate.
Plot and content
A predator seizes his prey. I like your basic plot and how you conveyed it with natural elements, no human characters. However, several phrases and word choices seemed awkward and didn't relate well to the image: and upon their unexpected desire, Mother would be so proud, the brisk of desert nowhere, lost in translation.
Technical errors:
The first sentence should be in present tense for consistency with the rest of the story.-->The sheep herded through the dusty dunes
I also think a different word (trot? graze?) would work better than "herd."
Overall: Good first attempt.
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I hope my comments have been helpful. For an explanation of how I rate and review, see "Invalid Item" . Please email me if you have other questions!
Format: Contest entry last modified--6:13pm on 08-24-2008 Word count--Exactly 55 words. Content rating--Appropriate.
Plot and content:Nice metaphor structure, but the introduction of another woman complicated the image a little. Perhaps the dealer could have walked over, saying, "Want to take her for a drive?" while handing him the keys. If he really was fantasizing about the woman and not the car, that could be made clear, too. I did enjoy your vivid descriptions!
Technical errors: Sentence incorrectly punctuated. As the dealer handed him the keys <--Should be a complete sentence and have a period at the end.
Overall: A sensual description of a test drive.
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I hope my comments have been helpful. For an explanation of how I rate and review, see "Invalid Item" . Please email me if you have other questions!
Format: Contest entry last modified--6:34pm on 08-19-2008 Word count--Exactly 55 words. Content rating--Appropriate.
Plot and content: A common marital situation begins as a thriller. This sentence did seem awkward: The rumble growing louder and louder is no match for me; because now I can look and see its much smaller body. Perhaps "is no threat to me" could work.
Technical errors: Remove semicolon in third sentence.-->no match for me because now...etc.
Overall: I liked the satirical tone you took with this story.
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I hope my comments have been helpful. For an explanation of how I rate and review, see "Invalid Item" . Please email me if you have other questions!
Format: Contest entry last modified--2:51am on 08-23-2008 Word count--55 words! Content rating--Appropriate.
Plot and content: Nice plot, clear images. I especially liked the exasperated mother who imagines some trivial reason for being summoned yet again by her child. And I'm sure she won't believe him when he tells her about the spaceship!
Technical errors: None noted. Thanks for your careful attention to spelling, punctuation, and grammar!
Overall: Fun adventure with a young hero.
Congratulations on winning first place in Round 57 of "Invalid Item" !
Please delay all corrections until judging is complete. Winners should be posted Sunday in "Invalid Item" . Thanks for entering! Join us again.
I hope my comments have been helpful. For an explanation of how I rate and review, see "Invalid Item" . Please email me if you have other questions!
Format: Contest entry last modified--5:10pm on 07-13-2008 Word count--Your entry contains only 50 words, so unfortunately it cannot be considered for a prize. Content rating--Appropriate.
Plot and content:I liked the excitement you conveyed at the professor's success. It would seem his challenges have just begun, however. I wonder if he willingly accepted that he wouldn't be able to return, or if he only realized that when it was too late.
Technical errors: None noted. Thanks for your careful attention to spelling, punctuation, and grammar!
Overall:Sounds like a good start to an interesting story.
Please delay all corrections until judging is complete. Winners should be posted Sunday in "Invalid Item" . Thanks for entering! Join us again.
I hope my comments have been helpful. For an explanation of how I rate and review, see "Invalid Item" . Please email me if you have other questions!
Format: Contest entry last modified-- 5:19pm on 07-08-2008 Word count--Exactly 55 words. Content rating--Appropriate.
Plot and content: This version of a familiar joke fills out the story with a vivid character who takes his work seriously. Plot is succinct and humorous.
Technical errors: None noted. Thanks for your careful attention to spelling, punctuation, and grammar!
Overall: Nice satire of science fiction.
Congratulations on winning first place in Round 51 of "Invalid Item" !
Please delay all corrections until judging is complete. Winners should be posted Sunday in "Invalid Item" . Thanks for entering! Join us again.
I hope my comments have been helpful. For an explanation of how I rate and review, see "Invalid Item" . Please email me if you have other questions!
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Less plot than atmosphere, but great use of description and imagery.