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What I liked/loved about your poem:
I enjoyed this poem, it was very unique as the writer added a rhyme pattern to the poem. Change in certain poetry forms is nice, and this was enhanced the Etheree taking it to another level. The flow was very nice and provided for an enjoyable read. It speaks of one who feels they are dying inside due to neglect. Your words of choice provide a great deal of imagery and allows the reader to connect with its meaning as we have all been in a state of loneliness once or twice. Wonderful poem.
My suggestions:
None
It has been a pleasure reading your entry and I hope you will enter the next Round, the prompt is: Compose a poem using the "Invalid Entry" form. Check out the form in the "Invalid Item"
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What I liked/loved about your poem:
Your story carries the reader along from the start of a family as they grow and move on with life, children gone and then they are back to where they started from. This poem touched my heart as I thought of my own children and how one day they will leave and I will be without them. It's something that everyone can relate to and appreciate it, even if they are not parents, they are children and can think of their parents during their transitions in life. The last two lines where very telling of the purpose of the poem; life moves by quickly but it leaves memories which last a lifetime. The title, wow, I was blown away upon reading how well related the title was to the meaning of the poem, we end up where we started from but full of images that will engrave our hearts forever. Wonderful poem.
My suggestions:
None
It has been a pleasure reading your entry and I hope you will enter the next Round, the prompt is: Compose a poem using the "Invalid Entry" form. Check out the form in the "Invalid Item"
I love the message of this poem, which is of love and desires to be with the writer thought had mutual feelings. The flow was very nice and allowed for an enjoyable read. The most interesting for me was the title, it seemed to add to the poem a great deal. As the writer speaks of a kiss which could possible start a new relationship, it is discovered that the new intimate relationship will not go on, the title reminds the reader that the two are friends; no more, no less. Wonderful way to tie the tittle into the meaning of the poem.
My suggestions:
I come in peace
Add punctuation for a more dramatic feeling. It would allow the reader to connect through pauses and exaggerations.
It has been a pleasure reading your entry and I hope you will enter the next Round, the prompt is: Compose a poem using the Kyrielle Sonnet form. Check out the form in the "Invalid Item"
This poem has a wonderful flow, the words compliments each other with added pleasure. It speaks of real love and how it's presence is needed and required for a beautiful relationship. Your words were picked well as they provide a picture of what two who are involved heavily in a romantic relationship should be like. Punctuation was used effectively for emphases to be placed where needed to enhance the poem. The title is perfect for this poem, wonderfully thought out. It draws the reader in and makes them what to learn more.
My suggestions:
I come in peace
None
It has been a pleasure reading your entry and I hope you will enter the next Round, the prompt is: Compose a poem using the Kyrielle Sonnet form. Check out the form in the "Invalid Item"
This is nice. When I read the title I thought it was going to be graphic (in the sense of erotic), but instead it is sensually descriptive.
I love Haiku, when written well, they leave the reader with a picture of their words. Your poem has engraved my mind with its beautiful words of nature's love and the passion in a natural process.
It's very important in Haiku for the words to tell a story, so single powerful words make or break a Haiku. Your use of words enhanced this poems to the fullest. The use of the word "throbbing" makes the poem very vivid. How it suggest a need to be let go, is perfect.
This poem is filled with such clear imagery. Though I believed it to be a hidden message instead of straight out saying that the words of the poem are meant to inspire a poet, the writer choose to use nature's presence as a means of communicating a wonderful message.
The flow was harmonious and allowed for a delightful read. I like that it was centered, it gives good visuals. My own Etheree's are not centered, but I just may consider changing them...seeing the effect it gives yours.
Your use of words allows the reader to understand the poem, making it very enjoyable. The line, "dark as womb dark", was very interesting. I like the subtle message that a poet is ever changing (shown in the next sentence regarding light), and depending on the mood, that change could be rewarding or challenging. The line, "quicken dumb tongue...", was awesome! In this one line, you speak volumes, suggesting that the inspiration comes to the poet speeding up their writers block. Fantastic.
My suggestions:
I come in peace
Though I made comments to the line in "My Likes" section above, it reads kind of strange. I believe its the use of dark twice to attempt to a depth. I would suggest changing one of them. This does not hinder the poems message or flow, but I think it would enhance it even more.
It has been a pleasure reading your entry and I hope you will enter the next Round, the prompt is: Compose a poem using the Kyrielle Sonnet form. Check out the form in the "Invalid Item"
This was a nice story, it takes the reader along a passionate night with a not so friendly creature. One who most relate to maim and destruction, but you have captures him in the light of those who think his type are mysteriously sexy.
The title is perfect for this story. You took an old saying and gave it new meaning!
Your use of words create great visuals, from the setting to the personality of the characters.
Great Job, I cant wait to read the next part.
A few things I feel will enhance the write. But I come in peace and do not wish to change the overall feel and meaning of your story.
In the line that reads, " But I want to be ready for who or what I don’t know." - re-word this to something like: "But I want to be ready for whoever or whatever comes my way"
In the line that reads, "It feels so good, so, so good." - I think this would be more powerful if written: "It feels so good. So very good."
In the line that reads, "I see in the mirror reflected the most beautiful man ever." - Re-word this to: "In the mirror I see a reflection of the most handsome man ever."
In the line that reads, "He is so tall, so muscular and at the same time so gentle with my hair I just want to know how else is he with those lips of his." - Re-word this to say: "he is so tall, so muscular and at the same time so gentle with my hair I just want to know how sensual his lips would feel."
In the line that reads, "I looked in the mirror and saw his fangs, feeding with my blood. It didn't matter any more, I was in so much ecstasy..." - The word "ecstasy" stands strong alone, no need to push it power along with "so much".
Wow, Tan I dont know if this was a true story it now, but is very interesting and captivating. It's amazing that the little things in life have such a big reward. He was very lucky to have reconnected with this child as well as the boy finding him. That must have been a wonderful feeling to met the person who saved your life.
I enjoyed the meaning of this story as often times do people not do things thinking, "what good will it bring me". Well this story is a good example of the good that can come out of helping someone. Even the little voice grows up to be a strong person, willing to thank he/she who once came to their aid.
Title (Relevance to poem): The title was nice, and allows the reader to an inside peek of what the poem will be about before reading.
Imagery: GREAT imagery throughout this poem, you show feelings and actions, all which make this seem as if the reader is living it.
Rhyme, rhythm, and flow: The flow was wonderful, I liked th use of the refrain which screams the message to the reader over and over again. BRAVO!
Spelling, Grammar, and Punctuation:
None noticed
Ending: The ending was nice, showing that though the character was slipping away in this life, when he reached God he was given a choice to turn things around. It provided a sense of hope; even though we may feel that we are slowing dieing God is willing to set those wrongs, right.
Overall: I loved reading this poem, it something for all to think about. You describe a live that is not far from that of most of the readers, as we all make mistakes and we all feel low at some point in our lives. Great job connecting with the reader.
Furaha, this is a beautiful poem. I like how you make the comparison to women and Mother Nature, the feelings and emotions put into each "color" of our world and our hearts. The poem sparks the readers interest and remains alive throughout the poem. The imagery in this is splendid!'
Hugs,
Cookie
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What I liked/loved
This story shows the struggles and determination of a women trying to get into a new career. It was written well and and logically formed. I enjoyed this journey with you and wish you the best of luck. Keep me posted in your move up the ladder.
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What I liked/loved
This was a wonderfully written Pleiades. It was descriptive allowing for the image of a deep need to love one person to be seen. The flow was wonderful as I sensed a touch of rhyming during two of the lines. Very well written, you have complimented the form
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What I liked/loved
You provide a lot of imagery in this story. Your words allow the reader to replace him/her self with you and be that person having these thoughts. Very nicely written.
My suggestion (I come in peace )
The line that reads, "Lazily we wandered along, and dragging our bare feet through the warm, brown sand that covered the earth, felt the warmth of the..." - change "felt" to "feeling". This will be consistent with he other words which show something is happening such as you did with "dragging".
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________________________________________________________________
What I liked/loved
That was a shocking read. You allow the reader to be amazed, in knowing this was planned due to the original runners fear of being stalked. The descriptions of characters and scene allow for the reader to be taken into the story line for a realistic enjoyable read. Good Job
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What I liked/loved
I thought this was humorous but very real of what life is like for a Customer Service Representative. You have quotas to meet and money to bring and the pressure is always so demanding from your superiors. Your words provide an accurate account of real life events when working in this field; I know because I did this before and I am also on the other end of one of these phone calls...A LOT .
I enjoyed the subject, you did a wonderful job converting this scene into poetry
My suggestion (I come in peace )
In the line that reads, "Speak clearing and calmly without allowing a kink" - Change "clearing" to "clearly"
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________________________________________________________________
What I liked/loved
This poem is exploding with imagery of one who has been betrayed and is hurting as they are told a relationship will not advance. I enjoyed the rhythm of the poem, it allowed for an enjoyable read in most parts. My favorite was the second stanza, which was well arranged and allowed the reader to connect with the feeling of the writer.
My suggestion (I come in peace )
In the line that reads, "But what I saw, made it not mine to say." - In this line you saw you saw something, provide details of what you saw.
In the line that reads, "I feel more pain than if I were dying!" - This would flow better if it were, "I feel pain, as if I were dying"
In the line that reads, "I wished only to make you to be happy" - Removing the words "to be" would allow for a smoother read, one that doesnt make the reader pause.}/c}
Thanks for your entry and I hope you will join in on the next challenge
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What I liked/loved
I enjoyed the message in your poem and thought that the by not using punctuation, the reader was allowed to read quickly and see how time fly's by us.
My suggestion (I come in peace )
The rhythm in this poem could greatly improve. If your lines were more uniformed, along with syllable count, this will allow a smooth read. I didnt hesitate much, but I thought it would be much more powerful if sentence structure was taken into consideration.
Thanks for your entry and I hope you will join in on the next challenge
________________________________________________________________
What I liked/loved
That was a very interesting story. I was fascinated and on the edge of my seat as the wolf was found and terrified at what the outcome may have been. I dont have much experience with them but I think they are beauty and mysterious animals. I love how the story plays out and you go on to let the reader know this is where your WDC name comes from, it is touching and beautiful.
My suggestion (I come in peace )
The line that reads, "He is gorgeous, with silvery, grey shiny coat and the most penetrating yellowy, green eyes." - I'm not sure if you are talking about his eye's when you say silvery or his coat, but I think you are I think the sentence would read much better if it were, "Hi is gorgeous with a silvery grey shiny coat and the most penetrating yellow-green eyes."
In the line that reads, "His eyes were unblinking as his focus was locked onto me." - This line would read much better if it were something like, "His eyes were unblinking, focused locked on me."
Thanks for your entry and I hope you will join in on the next challenge
________________________________________________________________
What I liked/loved
I liked how your poem is formated, like that of a story. It tells a deep message of one who was taken advantage of because she was small and unable to defend herself. The rhyme pattern of a,b,a,c was enjoyable and allowed for a smooth read.
My suggestion (I come in peace )
I thin the title doesn't support the meaning in the poem, I think you should come up with a name more befitting of its lines and torment this child had to endure.
Thanks for entering the "Invalid Item"
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Feel free to place the above sig at the top of your winning entry: {image:1058743}
What I liked/loved about your poem:
Your poem was lovely and descriptive of the thoughts that go into every poem which a Poet composes. Your word choice allow anyone to see the beauty and joy that writing poetry brings us. When the 1st stanza is flipped, it reads the same, complimenting the form perfectly. I enjoyed every word, every stanza, and every meaning in this poem. Wonderful job, Poet!
My suggestions:
It has been a pleasure reading your entry and I hope you will enter the next Round, the prompt is: Compose a poem using the Etheree form. Check out the form in the "Invalid Item"
Thanks for entering the "Invalid Item"
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CONGRATULATIONS You have placed as an HONORABLE MENTION!!!!
Please place the above sig at the top of your winning entry: {image:1056937}
What I liked/loved about your poem:
This poem took me back to my last year at the circus, seeing those clowns tumblings all around. Wonderful imagery provided in this poem, allowing for the reader to feel the essence of being around our funny friends. You wrote the Palindrome form perfectly, each line was well thought out and written. Your word choices worked very good in this poem and provided an easy, non-hesitating read.
My suggestions:
None
It has been a pleasure reading your entry and I hope you will enter the next Round, the prompt is: Compose a poem using the Etheree form. Check out the form in the "Invalid Item"
The form was followed perfectly and your message in your poem is wonderful. You capture the thoughts of one asking for forgiveness of things they may have done wrong and thus trust is lost. Your words provide a lot of imagery.
My suggestions:
The line that reads, "Wont you just...can you grant forgiveness?" removing the word "just" would allow for the reversed verse to read much better and still convey the message in your poem.
It has been a pleasure reading your entry and I hope you will enter the next Round, the prompt is: Compose a poem using the Etheree form. Check out the form in the "Invalid Item"
You followed the prompt and the poem had great imagery of what school time is like for children from the ringing of the bell to the learning. I enjoyed reading this. The flow was nice as well.
My suggestions:
The lines that read:
1st stanza - Children everywhere
are listening, learning, reading.
2nd stanza - Reading, learning, listening are
everywhere children
This would be smoother if the words "children" and "everywhere" where flipped in the first stanza so it would read better in the reversed stanza.
1st stanza - Everywhere children
are listening, learning, reading.
2nd stanza - Reading, learning, listing are
children everywhere
It has been a pleasure reading your entry and I hope you will enter the next Round, the prompt is: Compose a poem using the Etheree form. Check out the form in the "Invalid Item"
Congratulations on your win in the "Invalid Item" MY REVIEW #29 OF 29 (Complete Poetry Port Raid)
What I liked/loved
I love the formation of this poem, in its slim view it provides a powerful unveiling of how things start, begin, and the impressions they leave on the soul. The flow was great and title very captivating and showing how torn love can sometimes be. This poem was very well written and provided a hug amount of imagery for the reader to relate to.
My suggestion (I come in peace )
None
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CONGRATULATIONS 
sig at the top of your winning entry: {image:1048149}
I come in peace 
.
I think the sentence would read much better if it were, "Hi is gorgeous with a silvery grey shiny coat and the most penetrating yellow-green eyes." 
Congratulations on your win in the "