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326
326
Review of Fatal Attraction  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose - REOPE...  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)

A review for Team GreyJoy
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Review of Fatal Attraction

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions. This review is done for the Game of Thrones contest for the team of GreyJoy.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Romantic plans go awry when Natasha gets everything ready for a special evening with her boyfriend Corey. Corey has gone fishing with his brother Mike. The story changes when he calls her on her cell phone and suggests a time out in their relationship.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Natasha has been dating Corey for six months and is ready to let their relationship get physical. She sets up his apartment as a romantic getaway and purchases special lingerie, Then his call wanting to slow things down. She gets angry and breaks a few things. He rushes home and has a change of heart. The quick change does not seem realistic to me.

The last paragraph they get physical and this is the erotic portion of the story. I found it a bit tame.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

None.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Cory seems to change too quickly.

dblameck


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
327
327
Review of First Flight  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose - REOPE...  
Rated: E | (5.0)

A review for the House of GreyJoy

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Review of First Flight

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions. this review is being done for the Game of thrones and for the House of GreyJoy.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

This story about a man who is taking his first flight. He is nervous and most of the story deals with the fears and problems he has he continues on his flight.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

As we move along in the story we note that Jackson is slowly getting more comfortable with the thought and concept of flying. He is sharing with a fellow passenger when the airplane captain comes on the intercom. This is what we hear "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your Captain. Welcome to Flight Number 293, non-stop service from New York to Los … WATCH OUT! OH, MY GOD!" later he comes back on to explain the stewardess had spilled coffee on his lap. I will not give away the catch line because I want you to read this short comedic story yourself.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Great, it is perfect as it is.


FINAL THOUGHTS:

keep sharing and posting.

dblameck


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
328
328
Review of Independence Day  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose - REOPE...  
Rated: E | (3.5)

A review for the House of GreyJoy

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Review of Independence Day

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions. The review is being done the the Game of thrones contest for the House of GreyJoy

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

It is the eve of independence day. Two hundred and forty years ago the people of the Thirteen American Colonies embarked on a difficult program that resulted in a nation building experiement. The short portion of prose looks at this with wonder that the world thing has not unraveled even as the cultures have progressed and changed in that period.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

I enjoyed the two central questions most of all.

Considering man’s destructive nature, how is it that we still stand?

and

With all our bombs and all our differences. how do we still exist?

Of course we know it is sheer yankee determination.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Expand your ideas.



dblameck


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
329
329
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose - REOPE...  
Rated: E | (3.5)

A review for house of Greyjoy
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Review of A Night to Remember

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions. This review is part of the requirement in the Game of Thrones. I am reviewing for the House of Greyjoy.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

I can imagine your first book signing would definitely be an occasion to remember. The events of that evening are detailed as one would in a blog or diary.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

It seems the event occurred in a multi-use setting. Perhaps a mall or plaza. It is referred to the Cube. It is obvious that all this occurred in her home town of Corby, Northamptonshire England. Her writing group helped to fill out the numbers for this event.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Define who are the people mentioned: Roseanne, Kath. The mother is mentioned but am unsure of who she is. what are twig lets?


FINAL THOUGHTS:

I am glad you had this event for your book launch of Honey Dew.

dblameck


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
330
330
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose - REOPE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)

A review for
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Review of The Drawers that Collect Our Lives

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions. This review is done as a requirement for the Game of Thrones.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

This may sound stupid but i have two exposed rolls of film and am afraid to get them developed because of what pictures there might be on that exposed film. My daughter died 13 months ago and could she might appear in those pictures? So the story that you have shared have had a great affect on me.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

I've watched as my wife went through her mother possessions after her death. I know the difficulty she had with just looking at those little trinkets and items that collect. Then you brought out the cylinder of 35 mm film. You used great hesitation as the woman didn't get the pictures developed immediately but we had to wait until the next day. The picture turn out to be great memories and it is blessing to have them.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

No suggestions.


FINAL THOUGHTS:

Thank you for writing this.

dblameck


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
331
331
Review of Icy Balm  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose - REOPE...  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)

A review for
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Review of Icy Balm

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions. This review was done as part of the Game of Thrones competition.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

In choosing which stories to review I read several but perhaps seemed to gravitate to those with a BDSM theme particularly with a spanking emphasis. So perhaps while I am reviewing your story it rather feeds my own perverted feeling and desires. So right up front let me thank you for meeting my needs with your story.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

As many erotic stories the character list is usually limited to two person who are actually lovers. I enjoyed the way you presented each of these characters.

Shane is the dominant personality and controls the submissive Michaela and brings her out of her self in order to express her sexuality. He uses spanks and pain interspersed with application of an icecube. He heat the body and then cools it. Actually it is my experience that reheating an iced portion of tender flesh can be very dynamic. Shane is of course the dom and he controls how much impulse she experiences.

Michaela is a submissive who says she does not enjoy the punishment but like the line from Shakespear I think she protests too much and gives her desires away.

The interaction of these characters is exceptional and I definitely enjoyed how you wove their sexual activities into a basket of lust and passion.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

I like the story the way that is it.


FINAL THOUGHTS:

Please share some new stories with all of us. Of course you could bring back your contest too.

dblameck


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
332
332
Review of For Puppy Love  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)

A review for
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Review of For Puppy Love

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A very short story. Only 100 words makes it difficult to get a plot and have some character development. You have done well is this attempt.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Ginger is the protective mother with the injured paw. There is not a lot of detail and this leaves the story basically untold.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

The sentences tend to be long.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing. Please expand the story.


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333
333
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)


Review of I Didn't Know Buffaloes Could Fly

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A great story of the love of cooked chicken wings with hot sauce.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The fact that we have seen the expanse of the popularity to spicey chicken wings is evident.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

I think I will head over to Buffalo Wild Wings for dinner.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep sharing.


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334
334
Review of A Raised Seat  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)


Review of A Raised Seat

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

He has the evidence. It all adds up to cheating. The entire setup is great and interesting. Somehow he does not achieve catching her.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The entire process seems to point to only one conclusion. The two characters are married and both William and Delores are great and interesting. There is a great twist at the end which is what makes this story terrific.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Perfect as it is.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

I of course enjoyed the hunting and the conclusion.


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335
335
Review of Lightning  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)


Review of Lightning

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A short flash fiction scenario. You can almost feel the need for rapid response in the action of the story.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

a woman and her son on the top of a building. My mind flashed to the danger of suicide.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Well done for the limited word count.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing.


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336
336
Review of Flock of Crows  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)


Review of Flock of Crows

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Story is completely mad of dialogue. A question about a group of crows is called. They are correctly called a murder of crows after some discussion.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The discussion moves to the Game of Thrones.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

None.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Good discussion.


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337
337
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: ASR | (3.5)


Review of Edgar Goes to College

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A story about a man who wants get his college degree but cannot get through the entrance reviews because he is nervous about speaking in public.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

In the story they refer to Edgar as being chicken. People tease him by flapping their arms and making clucking noises. He finally enrolls in an online college.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

None.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Thank you for sharing your story.


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338
338
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)


Review of Kamal Hassan vs Jackie Chan

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

This article is about the development of martial arts in two distinct cultures. India and China both had development of these disciplines. I think to enjoy this articles you have to be interested in martial arts.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

It seems that the writer favours the Indian development of these difficult disciplines.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

No suggestions.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

For those interested in martial arts this article is essential.


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339
339
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)


Review of A Thousand Rupees

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A woman sells her long hair so she gat buy a bike for her son.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Abha is the giving Indian mother who gives everything she can to get the bike for her son Paavo. While this seems unusual to us it is probably more common than we think.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

None.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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340
340
Review of The Drowned Lover  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*




Review of The Drowned Lover

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

a story about a girl who is drowned after an encounter with a mysterious stranger.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

A man and the girl he loves. Then a man then comes and throws into a river.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Cubid - cupid



FINAL THOUGHTS:

The real purpose of this review is to get the opportunity to wish you a great WDC anniversary.


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341
341
Review of Rudolph  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)


Review of Rudolph

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

My question is if this poem is a self evaluation of what in happening. Rudolph like the reindeer whom he bears the same name must follow the path carved out for him. That is being able to lead when called upon.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Like the reindeer it is hard to put up the games that are no fun until the opportunity to lead is placed in his hands.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Write more.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

I enjoyed the poem.


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342
342
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)


Review of Lord Make me a Buffoon

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A good poem with an interesting question. But does anyone actually want to be a bully in today's world. Most bullies don't think they are acting that way.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

I guess if a bully does not realize that they are acting in this way then they are actually a buffoon.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

I like the way you portray this comparision.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Well done.


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343
343
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)


Review of Why Didn't You Stay

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A great poem with a special question imbedded in it. A question that many people ask.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The poem is written in a free form format. It''s message however is direct and to the point.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

No suggestions.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Well done. I liked the poem. I liked the message.


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344
344
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)


Review of Words Mean and can be Mean

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A treatise to try and choose your words carefully because the meaning of words is very important. This poem emphasis the need to choose one's words carefully.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

A rhyming scheme of A B A B is used for the three verses and then A A for the closing emphasis.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

I like it the way it is.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep sharing.


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345
345
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)


Review of Milk Entry

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A sad story of a mother dog whose pups are all dying.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

A mother dog and her dying pup. We don't know why they are dying. This is very emotional and filled with sadness.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Write more detail.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Well done.


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346
346
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)


Review of Bowling's High Speed Performance System

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A short poem emphasing the need for speed and how this factor affects the competition.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

A varied rhyming scheme is used in the three verses.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

I thought there was a back spin that was important in bowling.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Thank you for sharing your work.


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347
347
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*





Review of When They Come Face to Face

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

wow this is a great beginning but I was waiting for some terrible conclusion and was amazed when it did not come. Great build up.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

I will try to emulate your talent in the future when I write an alleyway confrontation of a shadow watcher. Your buildup of the character was tremendous.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

I just wanted more.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

This review was intended to wish you a great WDC anniversary.


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348
348
Review of See What It Is  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)


Review of See What it Is

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A good little poem that is exact in its message. Reviewing is not always easy. Thw writer and reviewer of course don't always agree.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

A simple rhyming scheme of A B A B in short distinct phrases. It is best to review with an open mind and wanting to explore some new things. Be prepared to be enlightened.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

I like it the way it is.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Thank you for writing this.


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349
349
Review of THINK JUST THINK!  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)


Review of Think Just Think

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Yhe phrase or saying about making lemonaide is very important. to note the key word is "make" Make is an action word. It requires some work on out part.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The writer gives us the ingredients for the lemonaide. All there is left is to make it. Making lemonaide of course requires squeezing of the lemons.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

This is a good start let us look at this is greater deapth.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Thank you. Get squeezing.


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350
350
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)


Review of One Small Step for a Man?

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

An interview with Mr. Neil Armstrong, the first man to walk on the surface of the moon.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The whole question is what did he actually say. Did he say "Man" or "A Man"?

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

There is evidence of each. It seems that Neil Armstrong is not sure either. The recording from the surface of the moon is not definite either.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Thank you for sharing.


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