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251
251
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)



Review of Thinking Out Loud

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

If this is your random thinking then you need to take some time and share with us more of your thinking.
PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Your detail of your life was interesting and I enjoyed reading it.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
spelling errors imagen should be imagine
never taught should be thought X

I would suggest you use a larger font.

Break your story into paragraphs.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Thank you for writing and sharing.


dblameck
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252
252
Review of Kevin and Lance  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)



Review of Kevin and Lance

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Story about a boy who has a brother who seems to grow quickly to a large size with a very muscular build.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Two main characters are in this story.

Lance who has the tremendous growth and Kevin who becomes the narrator of this tale.

The entire tale seems to be centred on the growth of Lance.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Continue to grow this story.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing.

dblameck
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253
253
Review of Goals  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)



Review of GOALS

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A short article on reaching your goals. the author states that traffics get in your way. He goes on to suggest that we may rely on god to assist us in reaching these goals.

STRUCTURE:

The first thing you need to do is change your font.
This one is very difficult to read.
Next the spacing of sentences and paragraphs is important.
That will also make the article easier to read.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
Define traffics.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing.

dblameck
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254
254
Review of Rain  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)



Review of Rain

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

The poem seems to have an almost reverence for rain.

I found it hard to follow any substance in the phrases and there seemed to be ideas that went nowhere. One very clear thought was that rain falls on all the big and the small.

POETIC CONTENT:

Three verses of six lines each with lines four and six rhyming.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing.

dblameck
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255
255
Review of A Breath of Life  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with Forbidden Fruits Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)



Review of A Breath of Life

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A love poem where the beginning is a acknowledgement of meeting and then progresses to warmth and finally onto passion and a deepening faith

POETIC STRUCTURE:

The poem is written in free verse.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Good poem, keep sharing your work.

dblameck
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256
256
Review of Resolution Day  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (5.0)



Review of Resolution Day

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Well done. Well said.
Many organizations have in their credo to live and change one day at a time.
The longest journey starts with a single step.
Great minds through the years have oft repeated this information and now you deliver in poetic form.

POETIC FORM:

Six verses of four lines written in iambic tetrametre

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

I like what you have written.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Well done.

dblameck
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257
257
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)



Review of Just My Cup of Tea

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Tea is the USA often means iced tea. Yet in the resat of the world tea is a beverage made my infusing some type of tea leaves in hot water.

PLOT:

this article expressed the feeling of the author about teas as well ad giving the information about several types of tea.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Share some of the other types and flavours of tea.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Write more.

dblameck
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258
258
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)



Review of Walking on the Beach

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Can't go into the water. Stuck on the hot sand because of a cast.

POETIC STRUCTURE:

five verses of four lines each. There are two lines that repeat in each verse on line two and four
the hot sand is scorching my toes,

The bright sun is blistering my nose

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Write more this is good.
dblameck
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259
259
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)



Review of Bus Tour in the Japan Alps

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A short Haiku poem which meets the strict rules of the poetry form but has little informational content.

STRUCTURE:

The haiku is a Japanese verse in three lines. Line one has 5 syllables, line 2 has 7 syllables and line three has 5 syllables. Haiku is a mood poem and it doesn't use any metaphors or similes.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

It seems to follow the rules.

dblameck
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260
260
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)



Review of Penned Celebration

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

I am so glad you are happy with your time on WDC. I also have spent years in delightful toil with words and thoughts.

I was away for a while but have recently returned and I understand exactly the feelings you are expressing.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing. { /c}

dblameck
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261
261
Review of Life Moments  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)



Review of Life Moments

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

An Indian love story. A wise mother of the bride knows this couple will have good times and bad in the future. She tells them to make a deposit into an account everytime they celebrate. One day the couple are near splitting. the wise mother tells them to spend the money. They see the times in their lives when they were happy and reconcile.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Good story. It fits into any culture.
A wise thing to teach others.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing, good work.

dblameck
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262
262
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)



Review of The Beginning of a New ERA

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

I like the general idea of your story but you have a few lessons to learn in the proper use of conversation.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

A hero is about to come out of his shell.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

The gist is here you just need to work on presentation.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

You need to use conversation correctly.

dblameck
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263
263
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)



Review of Happy Thanksgiving

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

This poem is an acrostic. Using the letters of Happy Thanksgiving as a beginning of a phrase or sentence.

POETIC PATTERN:

The first verse has the rhyming scheme of A B B A A.
The second verse is A B B A A C D D C C E E

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Keep writing.

dblameck
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264
264
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)



Review of The Dream Continues

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

I guess this feeling radiates every season. From the camps in the early spring to the last vestiges of baseball being played in the brisk October air the baseball fan is breathing and filled with the pomp and glory of this game.
This poem makes a valiant effort to highlight the feeling of victory and defeat in the sport of baseball.

POETIC STRUCTURE:

Five verses each with four rhyming lines.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

More work like this would be appreciated and read.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

You did not mention the Jays.

dblameck
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265
265
Review of Monk Stephen  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)



Review of Monk Stephan

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

i have read this several times and still do not understand what this story is about. Are these dead people who are somehow giving up some practical things?

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

It is hard to understand the heirarchy of the characters and positions which are mentioned in this item.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

I guess it is my responsibility to read more to understand about Pandora.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing.

dblameck
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266
266
Review of Mousie  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)



Review of Mousie

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A whimsical and silly poem about a mouse who invades a person's home and they so not seem to be able to get rid of it.
They become friends.


STRUCTURE:

Fourteen four line verses with a A B C B rhyming pattern.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

None.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and sharing.

dblameck
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267
267
Review of foraging  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)



Review of Foraging

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Outside today the show flurries are blowing but the words that I am reading are filled with images of the warmth of spring. It is free form poetry that is portraying the efforts of bees and birds seeking out the food for their springtime needs.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Obviously thinking of spring like weather.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep up the good work.

dblameck
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268
268
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)



Review of Wisdom's Desperation

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions. p

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

You have to know the story of Odysseus (Ulysses) before you can understand or evaluate this story. The Goddess Athena is appealing to her father the mighty Zeus to assist this hero of the greek mythology.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Athena uses all her words to persuade her father to find ways to aid her hero and his kingdom and queen.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

No suggestions.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing. I found this interesting.

dblameck
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269
269
Review of Tell Me  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)



Review of Tell Me

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A poem about relationship in which it seems a man is seeing another woman. the woman who is the voice of the poem is struggling and trying to force the man to choose her over this other woman.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

A man is seeing another woman. there is potential conflict here and the voice is seeking answers.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Write more. Extend the information.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Good poem. Write more.

dblameck
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270
270
Review of Soul Mates  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)



Review of Souk Mates

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A simple poem depicting the love one has for another.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Three verses of three lines each.
Each verse has two rhyming lines and the third line ends with my
soul which connects the poem in an interesting manner. I read the poem several times but there is no lyrical feel to it.

FINAL THOUGHTS:


Write more.

dblameck
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271
271
Review of Santa Claws  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)



Review of Santa Claws

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Wow! you take the most loved character in Santa and tie him into the feared vampire.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

I read the poem several times and noticed it's short almost stacco pulse is like a short beat of a snare drum.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

None.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

i am not a skilled poet but I enjoyed this poem.

dblameck
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272
272
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)



Review of Dear Seaman Recruit

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A letter to self before entering the navy.
I think back of what I was when I entered new entry training.
I was a mere boy and I am not sure that experience made me a man but the following years sure changed me.
Advice given with hindsight if always worthy.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

We should look back and see what advice we could give ourselves today.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

pick more details rather than just getting in shape.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing.

dblameck
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273
273
Review of Treasure Hunt  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)



Review of Treasure Hunt

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A piece of flash fiction with a little twist at the end. Two boys with a treasure map go searching for that treasure in a cave.
they fine q chest and I will not share the rest so it will be a surprise.


PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Interesting plot and good characters.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Make the searching more extensive.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and sharing.

dblameck
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274
274
Review of Puzzled  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)



Review of Puzzled

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

I am puzzled. What is this poem about? There does not seem to be an ongoing thought which I could grasp. I found several statements or phrases that provided hope some continuing thought might draw this together to make sense to me.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

A lot of starters but I could find no development that made sense to me.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Connect your thoughts because you definitely left me puzzled.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Sorry for the poor review. The poem left me wanting something more.

dblameck
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275
275
Review of Foggy Night  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)



Review of Foggy Night

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A short poem that leaves the events to the reader.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

For me I am reminded of the farewell scene from "Casablanca" I see the trench coated figure of Llsa played by Ingrid Bergman.
Then comes Rick, Humphrey Bogart, rushes up to her and they embace. He utter the famous lines"Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life."

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Add a little more Bogart to your writing.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing.

dblameck
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