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Review of Mom Jokes  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
I came across this poem by accident and have decided to review it because it is a delightful set of words that frame the halloween aspect.

It is a short and concise tabloid of that evening. The art work that you included us a great touch.

thank you for sharing this.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
302
302
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I have your poems before. This one is different. The thought that flow thru the short stacco (spelling) phrases (I really wanted to find an s word) seem to hop onto my brain and vision like a grasshopper on a prairie field. So many radical aspects I fine it hard to maintain a clear vision and thought. this needs to be broken down into smaller segements. That is the S word I wanted.

This is good. keep writing as I am sure that you will.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of The Dogs Did It  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)



Review of The Dogs Did It

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

An interesting straight forward story of two people with common interests meeting and starting to slowly build their relationship.


PLOT & CHARACTERS:

I guess it is a story with four characters as the two dogs seem very essential to the story. Gracie and Buddy are the two golden retrievers and Mike is the male but I couldn't her name. For me the story was going to the dogs.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Warm the relationship between the humans.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

I guess I thought a store entered into the Weekie Quickie Contest would have a little more risque nature.

dblameck


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Review of Tanya's Scent  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)



Review of Tanya's Scent

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Okay this was not what I expected. The title and the first paragraph gives a sense of direction. Then the rest of the story seems to dash off in a different direction. The points about a central character are valid but what do they have to do about title?

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Two characters. Tanya Jenkins and Mr.Smith who are having a conversation about the protagonist place in the middle of the story as the world revolves about him or her. He is intrigued by her and eventually does make a move or offer of something more.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Scent is a very powerful word and when you put it out there and then ignore it its is very distracting. Perhaps rethink your title.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Good work.

dblameck
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305
Review of Cowboy Roam  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*



Review of Cowboy Roam

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A twenty line poem which concentrates on the description of the master cowboy. He seems to be an expert at everything you would expect from a cowboy.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

A bit of a romantic view of a job that is very difficult.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

No suggestions.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Have a great WDC anniversary.


dblameck
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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306
Review of I Might  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)

Review of I Might

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions. This review was done for the Game of Crowns contest.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Great little poem comprised of rhyming couplets. It makes me feel young just by reading it.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

the poem creates a great picture of a young girl enjoying the freedom of a spring day. It really captures the moment.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Please write more and more like this.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Well done.

dblameck


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
307
307
Review of My Wish  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose - REOPE...  
Rated: E | (3.5)



Review of My Wish

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions. This review was done for the I Write in Fall contest.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A short romantic poem which expresses one person's need for the physical contact with the other.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The writer shares his desire to hold the other while they sleep.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Very romantic.

dblameck


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
308
308
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose - REOPE...  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)

A review for the House of Greyjoy


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Review of Baseball, My American Pie

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions. This review was done for the Game of Crowns contest.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A story about a boy's love with the game of baseball. After he talks about his experience with little league he goes on to tell how he learned about baseball and its stars.

He then goes on to express his opinions about baseball in general and about some of the problems that faced baseball when this article was written.

He is a fan of the Oakland Athletic Baseball team and he is not a fan of the American League changes regarding the designated hitter.

He also spends quite a bit of time addressing the problems of steroids and drugs in baseball today.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

His article is dated and deals with teams as they were in 2007. As we have moved different teams now are leading their respective leagues.

dblameck


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
309
309
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose - REOPE...  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)

A review for the House of Greyjoy


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Review of What Happens in Heaven

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions. This review was done for the Game of Crowns contest.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

I am sure we all have different ideas of what heaven will be like. The writer shares some of her ideas of what heaven will be like. She notes that the different religions of the world will all of course think of the concept of heaven to greatly different. The writer then goes on to describe the gates of heaven. The description of the gates seem to be important. After entering through the elaborate gates it seems that then envision of activities is more like one big party with everyone dressed in formal gowns and tuxedos.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

In the party atmosphere of this person's concept of heaven there are drinks and cigarettes and kisses of appreciation. It is more like a party.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Perhaps i take a more sedate view of heaven.

dblameck


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Fifteenth Summer  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose - REOPE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)

A review for the House of Greyjoy


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Review of Fifteenth Summer

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions. This review was done for the Game of Crowns contest.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Do you remember when you were fifteen years old? This is an interesting story about a couple of girls and their experiences with going to the beach over the summer and their infatuations with different boys over that time. While Sandy seems to like the boy who flips burgers at the grill Debbie is interested in the lifeguard at station 12.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Debbie and Sandy have to take the bus to the beach because they were too young to drive. They are at the age where they develop crushes on boys that they see. In this story Debbie is stung by jellyfish and the lifeguard that she favors provides first aid. Danny does his job and Debbie is enthralled.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

It was a long time ago when I was fifteen but I can still envision how we acted. Good story.

dblameck


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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311
Review of Breaking Free  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose - REOPE...  
Rated: E | (4.5)

A review for the House of Greyjoy


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Review of Breaking Free

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions. This review was done for the Game of Crowns contest.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

This is a very heavy and disturbing story. It is a family dynamic of an abusive situation where one son is favoured and gets away with unmentionable harm and hurt to the others. She explains her views about the family dynamic and even goes into the reasons behind the favoring of her brother, Anton.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Two families come together when people marry. This is the story of the Montgomery's on her mom's side and the Somer's on her dad's side. The Montgomerys were more hibrow and the Somers more casual. That is the way the family was setup. Anton was a Montgomery and started abusing the writer from an early age.

The story goes on to high light the efforts the writer made to deal with the situation.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

This essay or story is definitely worth a read.

dblameck


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
312
312
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose - REOPE...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)

A review for the House of Greyjoy


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Review of A Gift at the Door

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions. This review was done for the Game of Crowns contest.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

The story begins with a woman relaxing after work stating that she lived in this neighborhood for ten years and hadn't really gotten to even know her neighbors. She seems content to leave it that way. The story has good descriptive passages.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

There is a knock on the door and she finds one of her neighbors at the door and is she is looking for her small white poodle. The poodle is in the back yard being friendly with the woman's black mongrel dog. Since the dogs were enjoying themselves she invites Jean, the neighbor in for a drink. When she asks for a beer she knows they will hit it off well. It is the beginning of a good friendship.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Good enjoyable story. Please keep sharing.

dblameck


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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313
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose - REOPE...  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)

A review for the House of Greyjoy


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Review of Raining on the Inside

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions. This review was done for the Game of Crowns contest.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

The story starts with someone expressing frustration with not being able to keep up with the work. The complaint is there is no time for anything else. everything is work. No time to talk. No time for anything. The writer is just overwhelmed with caring for the children and the other assigned duties.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

there is a general feeling from the writer that there is no way to find peace in this life they are currently leading. Is this not the plaintive cry of so many in our world today? Finally the pace has been so exhausting that the writer needs to get away for even a few moments for a walk. Now there is a twist that I leave it to the reader to discover.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

The story brought a smile to my face. Please keep writing and sharing your ideas.

dblameck


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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314
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose - REOPE...  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)

A review for the House of Greyjoy


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Review of In the City of Lost People

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions. This review was done for the Game of Crowns contest.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

The story of a woman who seeks the resting place of her husband and daughter who died in an airplane crash. She was injured in the same crash and after nine months in intensive care ward. Now she is wandering the cemetery looking for these graves. This is a great story with a wonderful twist at the end

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Vera was marred because she had been horribly scarred in the accident but the key to the story is in this line, "Everyone she asked looked straight through her as if she did not exist." She finally meets a fortune teller who tells her where she can find the grave sight she seeks.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

I love the way this story worked out.

dblameck


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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315
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose - REOPE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)

A review for the House of Greyjoy


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Review of Preparing a Body for Death

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions. This review was done for the Game of Crowns contest.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

The article deals with a couple where one is nearing death and the actions that the other does in order to make that approach easier. I agree with the writer that on the surface this does seem to be morbid. The author has been working with this couple for over a year and has developed some strong opinions.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Ben is currently in end stages of Alzheimer's. It has been a downhill process for eighteen years. Millie is the person who is the active partner in the relationship which is based on respect, love, caring and the proper amounts of medication.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

In order to make the end of life easier on both Ben and Millie they have learned how to work together.

dblameck


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Devoured  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose - REOPE...  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)

A review for the House of Greyjoy


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Review of Devoured

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions. This review was done for the Game of Crowns contest.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A woman has been released from a mental health facility. However it seems there are still some problems. Her brother is driving her home and she has a strange vision.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Kate is pumped full of medications and drowsy as her brother Alex is driving home to be with her mother. She thinks she sees a man who has been struck in the road. When her brother stops the car she dashes off and tries to search for the man. She then thinks she is being captured by a demon that is part man and partly a body that is missing it's flesh. It is obvious that Kate still needs some help. Alex is doing all that he can and perhaps even this is a dream.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Good story and I enjoyed it.

dblameck


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Driving  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose - REOPE...  
Rated: E | (3.5)

A review for the House of Greyjoy


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Review of Driving

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions. This review was done for the Game of Crowns contest.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

After reading this story I think you should change the title to "There and back, to see how far it is". I state that because that phrase in three of the four paragraphs of this story.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

While the story is a bout driving it is not about learning to drive. It is more correctly about the freedom of being able to drive.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Sorry it wasn't Atlas. Sisyphus is the King of Corinth who was sentenced to eternally push the bolder up the hill. Atlas is the man who was charged with holding up the sky. T he atlas mountains in Africa are named after him.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

I like the premise of learning to drive but did not find that story. Please continue to share your stories.

dblameck


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
318
318
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose - REOPE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)

A review for the House of Greyjoy


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Review of Civil War Reunion at Pennypacker Mills

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions. This review was done for the Game of Crowns contest.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A Civil War re-enactment from the viewpoint of a young woman. The story goes into detail on the entire day and all the things seen and experienced that day. The comments on the authenticity of the re-enactment helps to detail the efforts made by those trying to re-create those moments in American history.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

I enjoyed the fact that the re-enactment involved more than just the battle but also dealt with things like the people also speaking out against problems like woman's rights and prohibition.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

There was probably a lot more detail that could have been included in the story.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Thank you for sharing this experience. Write more.

dblameck


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
319
319
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose - REOPE...  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)

A review for the House of Greyjoy


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Review of Primal Need, Natural Hunger

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions. This review was done for the Game of Crowns contest.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Two very different characters. Marcos is wild and it seems that he even eat raw meat. The story written for an erotic weekly writing contest. Instead of concentrating on the sexual aspect of the action between the two characters the story deals with the animalistic nature of the male character and the comparison sensual aspect of the female character.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Marcos is compared to the jaguar. The author is quite clear that he does not mean the high powered sports car but rather the most dangerous member of the cat family. She however controls the leash on this big cat. The final paragraph Abby shows her control and ties her lover to the headboard.


FINAL THOUGHTS:

Good story for the limited word count allowed by the contest. Write more erotica.

dblameck


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
320
320
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose - REOPE...  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)

A review for the House of Greyjoy


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Review of Is abstinence the best policy

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions. This review was done for the Game of Crowns contest.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

This is a very interesting and humorous flash fiction story. A newly married couple are feeling the normal stress of not having enough time for each other. Now that they are married they realize they had more time for romance before their marriage than what they seem to have now.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Jake and Susie are the newly weds that are having some problems in their relationship. Susie's mother suggests they do things together and they go to church. The church is looking for youth counselors. Susie's mother gets Susie to volunteer her and Jake. The problem is the counselors must abstain from sex to demonstrate that for the youth. Newlyweds having to abstain from sex is a very risky venture. I will not give away what happens but it will bring a smile to your face.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

It's good as it is written.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

I enjoyed the story and chuckled for ten minutes.

dblameck


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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321
Review of Attack  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose - REOPE...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)

A review for the House of GreyJoy


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Review of Attack


First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions. This review is being done as part of the Game of Thrones contest.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

The story tells of some desert people who have to travel some distance to even get wood. This sci/fi adventure drops immediately into a conflict. It rests mostly on the relationship of two friends.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Targh D'yer and his friend Sinbe have traveled to the wood supply to bring back wood for a celebration of the marriage of the Headman's daughter. Upon returning instead of a celebration they find thier little town as been attacked by some strange half man half spider. Targh's friend Sinbe is killed while slaying the creature.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

A little more background is necessary.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

This is a good beginning. You should expand it. Well done.

dblameck


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Wink and a hug  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose - REOPE...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)

A review for the House of GreyJoy

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Review of Wink and a Hug

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions. This review was done for the contest of the Game of Thrones.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Would the world be a better place if we paid our bills with a a little affection or kindness? I think it just might and this story gives us a glimpse of that society.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

A man, Mr Dyer, pays for a coffee and a newspaper with a smile, a handshake and a wink. He sees a woman paying for a taxi fare with a very ammorus kiss. He wants to take the taxi and he flirts with the woman. It is an interesting scene and I quite enjoyed the concept.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

This was a great idea.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

keep writing and sharing with all of us.

dblameck


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Green With Envy  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose - REOPE...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)

A review for the House of GreyJoy


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Review of Green with Envy

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions. This review is being done in conjunction with the contest Game of Thrones.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

I didn't know what to think at first. It seems that some of the competition for the ski-jump event are different shades of green. My first reaction was that perhaps these other contestants were not human. Possibility of people from outer space. As i read more it seems that were were people who just had a shade of green and other who were darker green. The more I the read the more confused I became.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

It seems that they take chlorophyll as a performance enhancing drug.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Make your reason for the colour change more evident.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and sharing your ideas and stories.

dblameck


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
324
324
Review of Brownies  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose - REOPE...  
Rated: ASR | (3.5)

A review for the House of GreyJoy
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Review of brownies

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions. This review is done in con-junction with the Games of Thrones contest.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A short delightful poem about the creation of that delicious dessert item known as brownies. It uses free form verse and gives the ingredient list for the baked treat.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

While we are advised if the ingredients we not not given the amount of those ingredients so you have to know how much of each to make the final product edible.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

We need the full recipe and other information in order to make this.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

If you make some brownies, give me a call.

dblameck


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
325
325
Review of Red  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose - REOPE...  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)

A review for House of GreyJoy

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Review of Red

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions. This review is being done as part of the Game of Thrones competition.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

The story of a dream where the populace is opposed to the king and it seems something terrible is going to happen to them. They are singled out from the rest of the crowd. One of the disturbing feature is the heroine in the story must send her young daughter away. This seems to be the main theme of the story.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Sarah is the character who is the narrator of the story. Her husband is Red and he is the leader of this group from Hammerton. Her young daughter is Cassie and there is a teaeful parting of the two. The story does not seem to have a full conclusion.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Complete the story. What happens?

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing.

dblameck


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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