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724 Public Reviews Given
724 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Casual, friendly. I'll point out typos when I see them and make suggestions about quality, characters and logic, besides telling you how I feel about the piece.
I'm good at...
Does it make sense? Are the characters well portrayed? What's the overall feel of the piece?
Favorite Genres
Poetry, children's, anything rated E
Least Favorite Genres
Anything higher than 18+
Favorite Item Types
Poems, flash fiction, essays, articles, biographical/personal, etc
I will not review...
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Public Reviews
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1
1
Review of Hanky Panky  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings,

Found this by using the Random Read and Review button.

Wasn’t sure what to expect, but the E rating reassured me and I got a good chuckle out of it. It’s nifty you were able to incorporate a zany historical feature into the story. I assume the prompt was the word “hanky panky”? I always like having the specific prompt at the bottom. Formatting is good. I can’t think of anything to change here. It was an amusing read.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
2
2
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings,

A fine, thoughtful poem, stuffed with philosophical musings on the madness of today’s world and the cultural battles we all face. I love your tidy way of writing poetry, with neat rhymes and steady meter. You are able to say serious things with a form that most people might consider trite and predictable.

The theme is that of rising above the madness with truth and facts, being able to lead by example and create order out of the chaos that ensues when truth is disregarded and emotions run high. In a world where feelings so often dictate the way things are done and how people interact amidst cultural issues and differences.

I enjoyed reading it and have no suggestions for improvement, as it’s open to interpretation and conveys a lot of meaning.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
3
3
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings, Jack,

Thank you for the award, the shoutout and for sharing the opportunity to learn more about your music experience. I enjoyed reading your story and seeing all the different artists and styles of music you enjoy. I’ll probably be checking out some of those classics. That harmonica piece is especially nice.

I never tell anyone to change what they’ve written in a personal essay, and your formatting is nifty, which leaves me room to ramble on about my own music adventures *Laugh* (that’s polite and tidy, to provide X-links to the videos rather than embedding everything; even in dropnotes they can get messy.)

Ah, the good old days of 45s and record players… did you know vinyls are making a comeback? Quaint, indeed. I like my music best offline, in the 90’s fashion. I don’t own an iPod - does anyone?? - but I do own an obsolete little smartphone which I’ve spent the past couple years slowly building a playlist on by using TubeMate to peel audio off of YouTube (ssh, don’t let anyone know!) I don’t believe in paying for music, and I detest the free versions of online streaming services that presume to tell me what I like (if I’m listening to a OneRepublic album from 2006, I don’t want to hear Maroon 5’s Moves Like Jagger between tracks! *Sick*) And also the “nerdy” stuff is unavailable on streaming: live shows, acoustics, unreleased demos or deep cuts from before an artist was signed to a label, etc. All the little unknown things that make me feel like I have a closer connection to the artists… or at least I know something the average Spotify listener doesn’t.

My tastes have broadened over the years; I’m a fan of John Fogarty and CCR, U2, Tom Petty, string instrumentals (Simply Three, The Piano Guys, Lindsey Stirling, Katarina Protsenko…) and just last year I discovered What Becomes of the Brokenhearted and Eddie Vedder covering You’ve Got To Hide Your Love Away, which last two appeal to my “emo” side (I use the term loosely…)

I know pretty much everything there is to know about Imagine Dragons and OneRepublic, and I’ll let you in on a little secret: my story "The Firemen"  was written as a vent of my feelings, assumptions and impressions about the lead singers of those two at a time when I was considering boycotting one of them… long story that doesn’t need to be told. My deep understanding of the two guys, from years of experience, ended up being channeled into two of the most colorful characters I’ve made in a while…

Did I mention I have an uncanny and often downright annoying ability to recognize a song by the first two seconds and an artist by their voice a mile away? It’s hard to shop, walk into a gas station or sit down in a restaurant when I’m so attuned to music. A delightfully (or distressingly) distracting hobby. I used this quirk in the character of my lady protagonist in "Tools of the Trade" . Both of which I’ve received your assistance with *Hug1**Smile**Hug2*

Was this even a review? Never mind… I’m sure you’re not looking for advice here *BigSmile*

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
4
4
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Greetings,

I found this using the Random Read and Review button…

Oh boy, this is great. You have the bones of an excellent story here, and you must have written it so quickly, all in one day. It could take me a week to assemble a backstory and a character like Sam in my head… although upon consideration, I already have a redhead Samantha in there who needs a story of her own *Laugh* I need some of that NaNo energy now; I’ve got fifteen short stories to write for Jeff’s Music Anthology project, due by July 1st.

I know this is just a rough narrative to use as notes, but it reads as well as anything I’ve read around here, with a couple minor typos for coming together fast. I love the way Samantha’s character is sketched out, and I love her as a character. It seems any novel involving her would be delightful. The way you’ve described her relationship with her mom and dad, and how she loves people watching in the beautiful places in Europe and filling notebooks with thoughts and descriptions… it’s all so relatable and makes for a delightful vignette of a very interesting lady.

May I ask how this project turned out? Did you complete the NaNo? I think I’d like to learn more.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
5
5
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Greetings,

Thank you for requesting a review.

First I’ll get the pesky formatting details out of the way. On WdC it’s preferable to use Size 4 Verdana font to ensure readability and compatibility across devices. A word count at the top of each item is also nice, so we know what we’re getting into. Other than that, you’re pretty good.

It begins in a relatable everyday fashion, describing a young lady’s discontent at her dull job in realistic, down to earth terms. When it begins to get to the fantasy area with the magic spray, it feels rather comedic. I wondered if it would be a quick-witted Alice in Wonderland/ Through the Looking Glass kind of thing, with layers of humor and a subtle satirical theme. Or perhaps it was just totally goofy, since the primary genre is Comedy. But the Otter’s introducing the premise of the magic spray, and the idea of escaping to an illusory world where beautiful perfect scenarios can be seen but never quite experienced, is quite powerful and carries a lot of potential.

Your choice of an otter is adorable. I can envision this as being the beginning of a touching Disney movie, where the heroine learns how much better it is to make the best of real life rather than being drawn into a dream world. If I may go off on a tangent (which I often do in my reviews) it reminds me of the Frozen sequel and its aftermath, which many Frozen fans have objected to as the post sequel world has been developed over the years. It appears that Elsa, rather than living with her sister Anna in the real world of Arendelle, has chosen instead to live alone in a far distant northern ice land, with four elemental spirits and the ability to relive the past In vivid memories of her deceased parents. This new scenario, people say, negates the entire theme of the original Frozen movie, which was to embrace the differences that make one unique and use them for good in the world one is born into with one’s family.

Meaning that you have an extremely significant theme here that is worth developing: does the heroine venture further into this mirror world, does she become in a sense “addicted” to it, does she find a way to reconcile the pain of everyday existence with the potential of what could have been? Is there a time warp involved?

I really enjoyed this beginning, and I look forward to seeing more of it down the road.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
6
6
Review of Drabbles  
for entry "Blinking Lights" 
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings,

(I can’t resist making a little joke about “hi, Hopes!” Your username is in the plural *Smile*)

A sad and touching story about the hubris of one man bringing down a whole ship. You’ve captured the essence of a sci-fi story in exactly one hundred words, and given it an appropriate title as well. I had a hard time coming up with a title for mine this week.

I like how you’ve incorporated the solar storm that happened in the past few days. It adds more relevance and relatability to it. The story is shown as well as told, as we watch little Nancy’s blinking cursor with trepidation, guessing all too well what’s about to happen. You leave out the most distressing part and allow us to draw our own all too obvious conclusion. It reminds me of many other sci-fi stories I’ve encountered over the years. I remember one… oh, that was so long ago, in my Elements of Literature textbook. Gosh, was it a student submission or something? I’d never be able to find it again. If I asked the AI to help it would just hallucinate. There was a story with a split perspective between aliens and a little boy on Earth, and it was about how the aliens had created Earth as a test planet, but they were about to destroy it because it was a failure. And the ten second countdown swapped between the aliens pushing the button and the little boy saying “hey, what’s that big light in the sky?” And there was a lot of tension and sadness. Ok, that probably doesn’t have much in common with your story. But you get the idea. It’s the kind of thing that sticks with you.

The word “Earth” should always be capitalized when referring to the planet. Also, I noticed you misspelled the word “Entries” in your blog subtitle. Other than that I see nothing to correct or modify.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
7
7
Review of The Rose  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings,

I found this using the Random Read and Review button.

What a lovely flash fiction. I identify so much with that quiet, modest misfit lady. I won’t bore you with personal details, but it’s nice to see a character like that get a happy ending with someone who appreciates her. I don’t have anything to suggest about this perfect little vignette. (I guess vignette isn’t the right word; they use that to mean something without a beginning, middle and end, which this definitely has.)

You have such a knack for describing people and situations in vivid ways, whether it’s something lighthearted or darker. And you’ve used up just exactly 300 words, which makes it a “trabble” according to our Australian friend Steven. (Have you thought of trying his 100 word challenge? It’s incredibly fun and easy.)

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
8
8
Review of persona  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

Oh my, what a colorful and vivid poem. We see your suffering and the things people tell you as you navigate a difficult life, and your self image is conflicted, lost in the bullying and gaslighting.

You have captured these painful emotions in a few brief words that flow conversationally across the page.

The final words haunt us like the famous words of someone we can't quite remember. It's a striking metaphor that will last a long time in our memories. I love the scattered rhymes which add continuity and poeticism to what might almost be a prose paragraph.

I see nothing I would suggest to change or improve here. I'm easygoing with poetry, believing it to be a highly subjective art form where we can feel free to pour out our emotions in any way we like.

If you don't mind, it reminds me of my favorite musical artist, Dan Reynolds from Imagine Dragons. He struggles with mental health and criticism, and the way he responds feels similar to yours, in which case we're all on the same wavelength, which is cool.

Perhaps you could submit this to the First and Second Chance poetry contest, or the Shadows and Light free verse contest. They both take previously written entries and don't require a specific prompt.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
9
9
Review of The story goes on  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Greetings,

Hey, this was amusing. I found it with the Random Read and Review button. I was able to quickly pick up on what was going on, partly because I love music and one of my favorite bands started by playing small local gigs like that.

The characterizations came through quite well, and I could see the friendship between the two people, as well as getting background on how they met and all that, even with being a dialogue only. It’s a well constructed story, with an ending that leaves us hanging in a funny way.

I don’t have anything to suggest except for using Size 4 Verdana font. Looks great otherwise.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
10
10
Review of Griffin's Blade  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Greetings, Jack,

This is a nifty start to your project. We are presented with two entirely disparate situations that appear to have no connection with each other, presented with precise details as in a movie. We see Rick’s impoverished retirement (was he forced into it? It’s hinted at in the poor recommendation from the lieutenant…) unfolded in the context of the gossiping front desk lady, and the wealth of Gabriel is demonstrated by his lifestyle and the lavish display room. This is a good example of weaving the “showing” through the story rather than narrating.

In my attempt to “connect the dots” of the upcoming sections, I considered at first whether Jamie was being unfaithful, and whether Stefan murdered his own wife as well as the other man. Judging by how considerate Gabriel was of his wife Jamie, I assume the infidelity on his part was an ominous misunderstanding, perhaps a distraction for some other motive. I also wonder about the significance of the murder weapon and how it relates to the story title. And I don’t see any specific references to the supernatural yet, though it seems to be implied in the uncanny ability of the agency to know Rick’s hardships.

In other words, you’ve set us up to want more, leaving us guessing as to the future of Rick and how he will encounter the crime scene and catch the murderer. What will be his first assignment, his instructions? Does he have any special powers he may not be aware of? I love a good mystery… I haven’t really read one I could sink my teeth into and make attempts at solving in years, perhaps, since I’ve hardly read much fiction at all since I “grew up.”

Your style is good, as always: realistic yet tasteful, with details that don’t plunge into the annoyingly visceral that some authors around here insist on. I prefer to have my senses engaged at a distance, which is always rather hard to explain (and even harder to balance when writing my own work.) This was an enjoyable read, and I look forward greatly to the rest of the story.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
11
11
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings, Joey,

I liked this narrative, reading it as a carefully arranged prose poem. The thirty five lines ramble long across the page, sharing their story of a girl and her dragon in words that at first appeared not to rhyme, but on the second read through I spotted many rhymes. You’ve crafted it carefully, giving it a ballad feel with the steady repetition of the line “dragons there be” with appropriate variations as the story moves along. The theme of growing up and parting ways with the dragon, leaving it heartbroken and bereft, is one that’s been covered before (Puff, the Magic Dragon) but your creation is unique in the line length, vocabulary and size.

I approach poetry quite casually myself and so have no real suggestions for improvement in the way of word choices or meter. My favorite style is conversational, first person free verse… which often leads people to ask if I’m writing from personal experience *Laugh* it just comes out instinctively that way, I don’t know why.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
12
12
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, Dr. Phool,

This is great poetry. It has an earthy clarity and candor as it describes the mundane happenings of a morning in the city. One might not think it’s very pretty or worthy of note, but the simple descriptions bring it to life and share the moment with photographic atmosphere. You’ve covered everything, including the little details that remind us this isn’t the United States, such as the tiny robotic street cleaners or the word “hoovered” instead of “vacuumed.” Did you write this as you observed the busy view from your window?

I remember when I was writing my Wind in the Willows fanfic as a little kid, I wanted to know if seagulls could be found across Great Britain. So I checked the land area of England and found it to be approximately the size of Florida. “So,” I reasoned, “if I can see seagulls pretty much anywhere in Florida (where I was born), I’d probably see them anywhere in England as well, not only by the beach.”

As I got older I discovered seagulls also live in Tennessee, where I grew up. What a surprise!

Your verses are quite tidy, leading us to look for rhyme or structure of some kind. I’m not the syllable counting type or I would try to see if you used a standard poetic form of some kind. I remember Robert Frost wrote Mending Wall with no rhyme but a steady meter that enabled me to memorize it at one point years ago.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
13
13
Review of A Medal for Sven  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greetings and Happy Account Anniversary!

This is an enjoyable story, showing us a young man finding the strength within when he stands up for one weaker than himself. Though his reality may not have changed substantially, his attitude has, and he will be the better for it.

I enjoyed the showing style and the way you’ve portrayed the characters. Sven is a likable fellow who understands the dangers of giving in to his dark side and struggles with being bullied.

The tension and conflict is set up well, and the ending is satisfying as we see his self esteem coming in. The little details seem a bit vague; I had to read it a couple times to tie it all together. The three words from the little girl took a moment to sink in. And the wizard stuff was a bit unusual for me. But I’m just saying my impressions… though I said I find fairytales easier to write, I don’t really read much in the way of fantasy (I’ve hardly read much fiction at all in the past few years…) and am not especially familiar with the tropes. But to anyone else it’s quite easy and understandable.

I don’t see anything I would suggest to change. Perhaps you can submit it to Max Griffin 🏳️‍🌈 and his Cross Timbers Review Spot for thoughts that might be more useful.

Fiddly formatting details: a word count would be nice, especially if you wanted to drop by "SENIOR CENTER FORUM"  and submit it (2000 word limit).

I enjoyed reading this.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
14
14
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Greetings,

We meet again thanks to the Random Read and Review button. I hope I’m not being silly or annoying here.

This was a fun read, as we see the mysterious old lady telling the children about herself from a long time ago. I didn’t figure out why she was hundreds of years old until you revealed the “vampire” concept at the end. I’m not into vampire lore, but I like the historical aspect of this. As a quick vignette it’s pretty cool and stands on its own.

It’s nice to see your scribbling process and the thoughts gathered at the bottom. Mine are similar when I write.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
15
15
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Greetings,

I’ve decided to give an overall review after completing the story, rather than chapter reviews as I read.

First off, the conclusion wrap up reminds me of E L Konigsburg and her type of stories. She delved into a lot of quite similar issues from the same timeframe which were rather heavier or more mature than the type of things I prefer for young people. Which isn’t saying anything bad about your story. I’m just a bit of a fussbudget. But it was a good story that wrapped up well. I’m glad Caleb is a good guy and I like how things turned out.

I’m considering using an amnesia theme for a short story I’ll be writing for a big project where I have to write stories for each song on an album ("Oh My My" ) The track I would be writing it for is Choke, by OneRepublic… your theme has given me ideas as to how to go about it.

I would recommend using Size 4 Verdana font to ensure readability and accessibility across devices. Also you have a good number of minor typos scattered throughout. And scene dividers should be centered. And paragraphs need a line break in between, especially when juggling dialogue. Perhaps Grammarly would be useful.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
16
16
Review of Bunker Kitty  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

Wow, what a precious story. A man and his scientist wife and an underground bunker and a cat and a nuclear apocalypse. I can’t help wondering if the cat was the spirit of Heidi returned to let James know that the world outside had somehow been renewed after so many decades. It fits, in a gently humorous way.

I love how tastefully it’s written; one never knows what to expect of someone’s writing style, and this sci-fi type of stuff reminds me of The Martian, which I happened to read years ago because someone left it in a rented room. The Martian was incredibly crafted, brilliant - but I hated the style! The MC had such a crude sense of humor, and every other word was a “bleep!” Those little stylistic details really get on my nerves.

Along those lines, I was waiting for some kind of dark twist or general unpleasantness, and found nothing of the sort. You’ve built a touching story of love, loss and hope with a cool backdrop that has just enough realistic details. I can’t help being a bit curious about the macabre detail of body disposal; it must have been heartbreaking to add Heidi to the incinerator when her time had come. I’m glad he only had a month of suffering before the cat showed up. I love the background that gets incorporated with his memories of life above and the automatic response ingrained during childhood. It’s a very well crafted story. The end has lots of potential for a sequel, or you could leave it the way it is.

I’ll make a couple of formatting suggestions that I tell nearly everyone around here: size 4 Verdana font ensures readability and compatibility across devices, and your genres could be tweaked a little to make it easier to find the story when browsing and also to ensure as many opportunities to be nominated for a Quill Award as possible (drop by the port of Lilli 🧿 ☕ for everything you might want to know about our Quills *Wink*) I might suggest using “Sci-fi” instead of “Contest Entry,” which is a dud genre. Also, I think “Drama,” “Relationship” or “Thriller/suspense” might be more suitable as a primary genre than “Comedy,” which for paranoid fussbudgets like me, hints at some cheap crudeness lurking in what I’m about to read. (Can’t always trust people’s self-ratings, and along those lines I might suggest making this one 13+ because of the references to death and destruction.)

I really enjoyed reading this.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
17
17
Review of Margins  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings,

What a thoughtful poem. I like the bold formatting and the tidy free verse arrangement that carries us through conversationally.

We can see how cherished your antique books are and how much they mean to you by the very fact of your having interacted so closely with the words on their pages. The act of scribbling notes in margins is by no means sacrilegious; many great Bible scholars have vastly annotated bibles in their possession, and it rather indicates a great love for what one is reading and a desire to understand it better.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
18
18
Review of Map and Contract  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Greetings,

I figured I’d return the reviewing favor, since you were so kind as to notice my story on the list (October seems like such a long time ago *Laugh*)

This took a couple of reads before I connected all the dots of what’s actually going on, but when I did it became quite interesting. I like the naming device of “Kindman” and his daughter “Kindy.”

The idea of the fae folk setting a trap for the greedy and wicked is quite clever, and the intricacies of the daughter not wanting to lose her father, despite the assumption that he would come back (I assumed at first the daughter was concerned because he would die, and that it was not a good deed) anyway, the development of motivation has potential to go further, perhaps.

As it stands it’s a fun read, with little details that outline the underlying fantasy setting.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
19
19
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings,

A perfectly written reflection on the aging soldier who carries himself with pride and dignity through the years. It shows him to us with his medals and memories, saluting those who have gone before and pressing forward to honor them.

I enjoyed the tight meter and rhyme scheme; it felt like an old-fashioned type of poem. I spotted the image that’s being used as the line divider; very clever.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
20
20
Review of UFO  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings and Happy Account Anniversary!

A simple and amusing poem relating one’s paranormal experience of a UFO encounter in rhymes.

I noticed right off, you’ve used a very old-fashioned word that’s changed drastically in the last sixty years or so… “queer.” Does it still have the quaint meaning it used to in the UK? If not, perhaps you should consider changing it to “weird,” which would carry the same meaning and approximate rhyme without the potential of misunderstanding or someone being offended.

I see you’ve chosen all three genres, which is always recommended to help people find it when browsing. I might suggest Size 4 Verdana font to ensure readability and compatibility across devices, and perhaps centered text would look more “poetic.” If you want you could try submitting this to "The Humorous Poetry Contest" , though perhaps you don’t see it as humorous at all… which leads me to ask, is it a true story or simply a tall tale? I almost expected a little green alien to appear and tell you something or carry you off. Without that being added, it could easily be something that actually happened, judging by the tabloids.

The rhyme scheme is unique and engaging, as you’ve creatively matched four lines at a time. This was fun to read.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
21
21
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

It’s amazing how a few simple words can evoke a universal nod of agreement. Nineteen words on three lines, something that feels as if it’s been said a hundred million times over the years, and yet it’s always going to be true and we should remind ourselves of it as much as possible. Your use of the basic concept of money to convey the fact of the value of kindness reminds us of the Golden Rule: do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

I might suggest listing the contest it was written for in a dropnote ▼ at the bottom, and also a word count or line count is needed to enter most contests around here. And you should choose three more relevant genres for the item, even just as practice for more important items. I would recommend “Experience,” “Philosophy,” and “Community,” but there are other possibilities.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
22
22
Review of Her All Along  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

A sad poem, with the loose rhyme and repetition of a song. We see a narrator lost in the lies of a would-be lover, wishing things could be better yet knowing they can never be together because he loves another, though likely with as much deceit as is involved here. The punctuation is close to zero, reminiscent of e e cummings or those other poets who played fast and loose with standard rules. Nothing wrong with that; I view poetry as a highly subjective art form, and if your feelings look best arranged that way, that’s perfectly fine. Rules were made to be broken…

You could try submitting this to two of my favorite contests around here, "First and Second Chance Poetry Contest"  and "Shadows and Light Poetry Contest" . Neither of these requires a prompt and they accept previously written items. Just be sure to include a line count within your item.

In regards to formatting, I always suggest Size 4 Verdana font. You can use the line of boxes above the text entry form to tidy up your items.

Also, I would recommend you choose two more relevant genres to fill out the item, such as “Drama” or “Experience.” This enables others to find your work when browsing, and also allows for more opportunities to be nominated for a Quill Award.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

Phew. This is one of those poems that leaves me with goosebumps. I wondered at first if it was literally about a dead body in the field, but by the end it becomes obvious that we’re seeing the death of one’s soul by lack of love, a form of starvation you could almost say.

The imagery is concrete and vivid, reminding us of the Valley of Dry Bones, which did eventually get resurrected, but here we see hopelessness rather than the promise of new life. Love bounces blankly off the surface of the field and is reflected in the decay of the bones and lack of affect from whoever is being addressed.

I suggest you should try entering this in a couple of my favorite contests around here, "First and Second Chance Poetry Contest"  and "Shadows and Light Poetry Contest"  Both of these don’t require any prompts and will take previously written items.

I would recommend using size 4 Verdana font to make the words stand out more prominently on the busyness of a typical WdC page, with so much going on in our sidebars. Click on the row of boxes above the text entry form to experiment with different formatting options. If you need any instructions you can click on the question mark box and it will open a useful guide.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of peaceful day  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

You have a lot of potential here to create a powerful story or poem. As it stands, it’s a sketch, a vignette, a sampling of what could be. We see a young lady, lonely, confused and preoccupied, but we know little about who she is or what her background is. There is no point to the story, no beginning, middle, or end. You need the magic formula of “goals, stakes and obstacles” to propel the narrative and makes us invested in the story. We invest in characters because we want to see them grow and change as they overcome obstacles to reach their goals under pressure. I know this sounds trite, but when you stop to think you realize most stories are built this way.

That’s if you want it to be a story. If you’re aiming for a poem, it can be much more simple. Poetry is a highly subjective art form that allows plenty of leeway for creative license. You can rearrange the lines to flow further down the page, add more emotional “feely” words, more atmosphere, more philosophical musings, whatever. If the lady you speak of is similar to yourself, it might come more easily to pour your heart out into a poem than to force the feelings and thoughts into a more “sensible” narrative.

Then again, it’s also okay if you’re just tossing this out as a rough idea to be developed later on.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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25
Review of Metaphorical Stew  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings and Happy Account Anniversary!

Oh, boy, what a hilarious way to finish off my port raid! I’m glad I peeked in your “funny folder“… wasn’t sure if there’d be anything within my rating preference, but this is a gem.

Every one of those metaphors was more absurd than the last, and managing to combine them all into a coherent story is quite a feat. It makes me wonder how many quirky metaphors I’ve used and whether I might be guilty of using too many. I remember one story I wrote recently for the latest What a Character… my friend Joey that I told you about “rewrote” the opening scene for me to demonstrate a more vivid and visceral “showing” style, and so I dutifully redid the whole thing, and I’ve been wondering for the past month if I overloaded the “colorful” descriptions while failing to improve the actual character arc or final conflict resolution.

As usual, larger font, but that’s just a space filler. I’m pleased with my exploration within your port; I suppose it wouldn’t be out of place to say I’m being richly rewarded for my efforts by Annette . You’re well aware of the Anniversary Reviews project. This was a nice way to spend my spare time today.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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