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Review Requests: ON
220 Public Reviews Given
221 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
My review style is informal and encouraging of writer's development.
Favorite Genres
I enjoy Realistic Fiction, Thrillers and love a good plot twist.
Least Favorite Genres
R rated
Favorite Item Types
Short Stories, Essays, Scripts, Letters
Public Reviews
Previous ... 1 2 -3- 4 5 6 7 ... Next
51
51
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Hi Princess Megan Rose 22 Years
A fantastical story in a poem format. You move the tale at a lively pace. I enjoyed the part where the Pewter snow leopard was upon a round the world adventure to get back to his mistress.

My favourite part, perhaps because it was unexpected, was this:
Don't blame me. I was inspired by a commercial.

You made me laugh! It was unexpected for the writer to appear in the fantastical poem.

Write On!
*Butterfly2W*
Hope
52
52
Review of Escape  
Review by H❀pe
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Haha! And I was imagining an evil orphanage, or workhouse that the escapee was fleeing for his life from.

I loved the description of the chase. And that short shift in POV as the black cat for a moment too was an interesting artifice to reveal his location. But my favourite the part when he was hiding amongst the dried stalks - I was with him, holding my breath too.

With almost no dialoge you placed the reader close to the action with clear visuals.

A fab 'punchline' caught me by surprise.

Another great contribution Mr Jeff

*Butterfly2W*
Hope
53
53
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Jeff

Well, this one was a real bonus as far as random draws from the Read&Review button goes. Smiles on every line and laughed snorts for punctuation marks. Its a fine wit you have Mr Jeff, and you are using it well.

Here's the deal. It takes seven days to create a world. Everybody knows that.

I only hope that Doug received a cc of this glowing recommendation to his abilities. Get that man a pie! (A local expression of great approval)

I was pleased that you took the time to do the calculator work, too; I dare say that was the laborious part of this article. I must admit that it seems like a real bargain (assuming, of course, that that sum includes Doug's commission.)

Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant!

Thank you for your creative focus in putting this together and keeping it here long enough that I got to read /enjoy it.

*Butterfly2W*
Hope
54
54
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Meg

I am of an age where I can really relate to this poem, where a woman has led her life doing what she 'should'

I like the way you kept repeating the word 'should'. But it was best when the meaning behind it had changed in the final verse, to be using her life for her own fulfilment.

That is a great lesson shared and excellent motivation to live on to One Hundred and six!

Well done
*Butterfly2W*
Hope
55
55
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Dr M C Gupta
Oh goodness, what a sad poem.
The line "My heart has over time too old become." resonated with me. A slow realization of an atrophy to that all-important muscle.

While your final lines are a redeeming hope in spirituality, the impact overall is one of sadness, and evokes empathy. You have expressed your emotions very well.

Thank you for sharing
*Butterfly2W*
Hope
56
56
Review of Nurse not there  
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi Billy

I found your tale through the Read&Review button.

Wow, that is a strange happening indeed, the strangest part must be that someone who was not a nurse asked you if you needed to go to the bathroom?!

But then again, perhaps you were on some powerful painkillers and the entire happening was a hallucination. We might never know.

A great little story, and recounted in a swift and brief manner, no waffle!

There are two edits I'd like to point out
1/ It looks like a spellchecker meddled your first line, for it says 'hospitalities' instead of 'hospitalized'.
2/ Starting a new line after the comma in that first line was not necessary.

A couple of tweaks will help your story's enjoyability. Editing and refining is a big part of the process for improvement here, and is one of the reasons why the reviews are so very helpful. A fresh pair of eyes spot things that we might overlook.

You are off to a great start, I look forward to seeing more of your stories here in the days and weeks to come

Write on!
*Butterfly2W*
Hope
57
57
Review of The Coffee Wars  
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Evan Hall ,

I found your story through the Read&Review button, and as a bonus I saw you are a recent arrival. Interested in what I'd discover, I dived in.

*Hook* Opening paragraph
The tape was running low, but neither of us were too upset about it.

That is a great opening sentence; I was immediately curious to find out what was going on.

You then described the Christmas present-wrapping scene, which was a cheery and playful scene with just too many presents around that tinsel tree.

*People* Characters
The other characters are introduced in warm tones from your Fatherly perspective, adding to the lovely family scene you have created. The cheek character of the girls is revealed swiftly through there conversation.

But still, I was surprised when you (the father) had a spidey-instincts moment about the cup.

Onward I read... with mounting suspicions, and then the fun of the wife being the victim of the drink!

*HeartBl* What I liked best
"The Christmas spirits danced in the room with the twinkling, warm yellow lights."

That is a beautiful sentence!

*Hammer* Recommendations
I want to reveal that as soon as the cat was out of the bag or the coffee was revealed to be tampered with, I felt ready for the wind-up of the story. The continuing conversation about it at that point felt unnecessary, and I think that part could be abridged to get to your tale's conclusion.

*Check* Overall
This was an enjoyable read, and I hope it was entirely based on truth; what a blessed life to live.

Thankyou for sharing your work, I have a trinket for you!



*Cat2*
58
58
Review of Do Not Despair  
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi 🌕 HuntersMoon
Your rondeau came to me through the Read&Review button. I'd not heard of this poetry form before, tricky - but it reads so flowingly as though it was second nature to you. Well done.

*HeartBl*
I especially liked the repetition of the 'Do not despair' motif, well spaced to introduce, next to remind, then as a finalé.

The poem as a whole has a lovely nature-loving spirit that I really enjoyed. Beautiful.

*Butterfly2W*
Hope
59
59
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi spoedniek ,
I found your piece in the Read a Newbie forum. The interesting title caught my eye, and your nick also. It is a play on Sputnick? It seemed like it to me, at least, and it amused me.

*Hook*
I liked how you started out strong with two strikingly bold statements.

Then your mention of Boltzmann; I read on imaging him to be some genius, but you didn't reveal much more about him. So after reading your piece, I googled him. (Would be handing if you added in a footnote perhaps?)

*HeartBl*
You have many thoughts/opinions, but without any context for the reader to understand and empathise with, which made it feel confusing.

You seem to be aware of the shortfall of revealed circumstances, for in that last paragraph, you speak of the omissions of tangible world-written details. Ironically done, as you beautifully describe tangible world details! lol, Yet the details are like a separate painting and do not relate to the rest of the work.

It reads rather surreal, like a drug-induced and shifting intensification of focus, like that Exit sign that was much discussed in a random way.

When I reached the end of your writing I felt like I had missed the point of your work somehow. For a moment, it seemed to be about Boltzmann, but in the end, it seemed to be more about yourself, the author, who was a student (I presume having intensively studied Boltzmann).

I enjoyed what you created, but it seemed more like poetry than a story (Possibly a couple of different poems eve)n. It's your section about the Exit sign that is haunting me with its oddly enticing and understandable macabre.

Thankyou for sharing your work

*Cat2*
60
60
Review of Ocean Fling  
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi MJones
What a delightfully playful poem, and I love that you made a graphic that suits it so perfectly. Or perhaps the image was part of the prompt? However it came about, they paired very prettily and became a satisfying 'whole'

Thank you for your inspiration and the enjoyable sentiments you shared!

*Butterfly2W*
Hope
61
61
Review of It’s time  
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Sumojo
I thought to find a bedtime story, and your White Rabbit snippet arrived thru the Read and Review button.

Absolutely perfect, as I am getting all excited to do the Wonderland activity in March.

*Heart*

Yours is a fun twist on the White Rabbit's clock watching. Those border closures were rough! I remember watching news on Aussie and it seemed just as bad as our NZ lockdowns. It wasn't just the white rabbit counting off the hours, we were all needing a diverting rabbit hole to dive into! Isn't it odd how it now seems forever so. Time did a strange thing, indeed.

I enjoyed you snappy fun little scene, and then the prime minister with the key at last.

Huzzah!
62
62
Review of Pools of uranium!  
Review by H❀pe
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi vapid
Thanks for sending me a review request; it was a pleasant surprise. A rewritten radioactive poem, eh? It sounds like a sci-fi...

*Hook* Opening lines
It took me a moment to grasp the poetic arrangement/structure of the poem. Once I understood the pattern. (I am new enough to poetry that I didn't immediately recognise the style) With a grasp of the style, I re-read the opening verses again and enjoyed the arrangement. You began short and suggestive words, then expand upon them in the following two lines to an intensified revelation.

It feels powerful.

It is very cool. And feels like it is written about an already established world and situation, or perhaps a forbode. While it seems to be science fiction, it is very sound and believable. I enjoyed learning about the ruined world you are here revealing.

*HeartBl* What I liked best

Many great verses, but I think my favourite, and where you really had me rapt, was this:

Few extra eyes
Siamese second face developing
Cotard's delusions are more regular, doesn't make it less unsettling

I loved how you worked the reader's intellect there, supplying information for visual and emotional understanding.

*Hammer* Recommendations
Hmm.... well, I can admit that you left me wanting more of this story. And that rhyming pattern is really quite addictive. Yes, I recommend this poetic story more, but the ending does not yet feel like a conclusion.

*Check* Overall
I love what you have created here. Thankyou for sharing your work, I have a trinket for you!



*Cat2*
63
63
Review of Dust My Book  
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi jayesandz ,

I found your poem in the Read a Newbie listings; it was your description of the dark coming into the light that caught my interest. Im glad it did, for it is just brilliant!

*Hook* Opening line
You established the poem's POV immediately, and I settled in for the read, curious as to what was in store.

I liked your admissions; these are things that resonate with me of my young life, too, possibly everyone, really. Those things are remembered when you think, 'I was so dumb'. Wishing for a makeover, but onwards, we live in the snowballing repercussions of reckless life choices.

*HeartBl* What I liked best
I found it hard to choose my favourite part, but finally opted on this:

"Give it a good read, maybe you'll understand.
You shouldn't have judged me, beforehand."

Which is a very good message for everyone, and well illustrated within your poem
,
*Hammer* Recommendations
I wondered if the punctuation of full stops was necessary; it read a little bit abrupt at the end of those sentences, and quite often, poems ditch full stops (I think for that reason). But I'm no expert.

*Check* Overall
I enjoyed your poem a great deal, now excuse me as I go to read it yet again.

Thankyou for sharing your work,
I have a trinket for you!


*Cat2*
64
64
Review of No Home to leave  
Review by H❀pe
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Oh my goodness Ghost_of_Paper

This is a deeply moving expression, truly drawing me in to a world that is valiantly brave while deeply suffering.

Your use of repetition, in a poetic sort realised denial, which then breaks as it becomes too much to carry on with.

Breaks my heart also.

This is so tenderly written, and I dread to think it is experience based. May you find solace and understanding thru your writing, and the escape you seek.

*Butterfly2W*
Hope

65
65
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Troyizen
I saw you reviewing, and it peaked my interest to see what your own style was. Looks like you are very busy! I selected a poem, as a short 'appetiser'.

*Hook* Opening paragraph
I think the hook is surely the title, where you set the readers expectations of something possibly tragic, possibly heart-wrenching.

When I reached the end, I felt amused, I don't know if that was your intention.

It was still a very dark poem, my humour was tickled that it wasn't a Bambi style piece. I liked that it was so brutally plain in fact. It was the contrast to cliche that I appreciated.

*People* Characters
You might say that the character in your poem is the driver, who's perspective we are privy to. I cleaned that he was impatient to get where he was going, slightly irritated at the journey. I definately picked up a vibe.


*HeartBl* What I liked best
I really enjoyed the pace you set, snappy and fast, demanding swift deductions from the reader to what was going on.

I also really liked the yellow and green description. That was a strong visual. In fact the entire poem was excellent from a visuals POV.

*Check* Overall
Loved this punchy well rhymed and fast paced poem.

I'm encouraged to delve into some of your longer pieces now!


Thankyou for sharing your work, I have a trinket for you!



*Cat2*
66
66
Review of A Noble Man  
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Noor
I found your noble poem through the Read and Review button in the sidebar.

I enjoyed the flow of the question then answers within your verses. You raise admirable virtues as composing a nobleman, in contrast to the social class it's commonly associated with.

I was a little distracted by the punctuation, the two dots did not mean anything particularly. Three might have been your intention? (As a 'to be continued ' thought). Or perhaps the formatting glitched in the site? I think it's acceptable to have no punctuation at all in poetry, which might be the simplest solution.

I enjoyed your message here, it warmed my heart.

Hope
67
67
Review of Can I Watch?  
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Paul ,
I found your introductory story through the Read&Review bottom. It's great!

*Hook* Opening
Your hook is surely the unique news of the setting, where I suddenly found myself in a workshop for cutting stones.

I loved how the conversation immediately provided mental prompts, that created an expanded scene in my imagination. It activated my mind.


*People* Characters
You used conversation only to reveal the characters in your scene, they grow at a steady and interestibg pace, with some flirtation too. Their mutual attraction really came through.

*HeartBl* What I liked best
I was most interested in the practical revelations about the secret world of a gem cutter. Super interesting!

*Check* Overall
I loved this!


Thankyou for sharing your work, I have a trinket for you:



*Cat2*
68
68
Review by H❀pe
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi Spidey

Wow, this poem comes from a unique perspective that I'd not considered before, with the one left living begging death to unite love once more. Yet it does not read as macabre.

Skillfully written, and with a conflictingly sad/happy conclusion.

Well done!
69
69
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi MJones ,
I found your uplifting poem through the 'Read a Newbie' link.

It was the title that caught my attention at first because I'd just been deciding between threaded or unthreaded views for the forums. However your poem is not about that sort of thread!

*Hook* Opening paragraph
Immediately I discovered that this was an uplifting and hopeful piece, with a very pleasant proposition of a link that unites us all.

You have a pleasant rhyming pattern that is very pleasant to read, with each lyrical crescendo gifting a sense of satisfaction. A mentally content 'ahh'.

*HeartBl* What I liked best
In a storytelling manner, you added in a complication in the final set of verses, but then provided us with the answer, which was simply stated and clear.

just turn to your soul
and that beautiful gift

I enjoyed the way you presented the remedy/advice. It is a nice find; it rounded out the poem as a whole, providing it with a sincere depth.

*Hammer* Recommendations
None. I simply loved the charm of your poem, and I look forward to seeing more of your work here. Best wishes for an enjoyable time here at WDC. P.S. There is a "The Newbie Poetry Award"  competition running that you might like to enter.



Thank you for sharing your work, I have a trinket for you!


*Cat2*
70
70
for entry "Stand firm" 
Review by H❀pe
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Sumojo

I was fortunate to post after you in the "I Write in 2024"  challenge, so I got to read this new item with the intent to review it.

To be honest, I did not think the topic/title was very interesting. The content, however, was swiftly absorbing.

I discovered through your honest sharing that we are much alike. I, too, am one of those empathy-ridden souls that sways to individuals POV's. I, too, have a son who was a delight to raise.

So I was deeply concerned (belatedly) on your behalf when you revealed his slip into drug use. And then, your response. Which I can appreciate as right, while I know deep in my heart it must have ripped you apart to do so. It was even more amazing when you had to double down and send him out of state. At that point, I was also struck by the great quantity of respect your son held for you, in that he did what you requested, although he was not taking the easy route by leaving. It felt like a clue that his good heart remained, and in time... well, there was still hope for him, wasn't there?

I just loved this story. It brought tears to my eyes, tears of hope (no pun intended). This is a beautiful story about a mother's love expressed in a non-cliche way. And the perfect length and restraint of content, you left me wanting more.

Mostly, I am so happy that he came through.

Congratulations my dear
71
71
Review of Monsters  
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Wanda Jane

*Hook* Hook: Your title/descriptor
I wanted to read and review something hot off the press, and I found your poem in the Read a Newbie section. It attracted me because a therapist once told/accused of disassociation. I did not understand what they meant at the time... and O I opened your offering wondering if I'd gain insight.

*HeartBl* I liked:
I enjoyed your message and the questioning, searching tone of your poem, indicative of the inner search in trying to work out what, if anything, is really wrong. I enjoyed the final line, especially where you used humour to lighten the mood with a satisfyingly unresolved finale.

There are rarely any certain answers are there.

I liked that you explored the subject with your various prompt-like thoughts while leaving it open still to others (your readers) personal speculations.

*Music2**Music1*Poetic form:
It took me a couple of reads of your first lines to work out the rhyming pattern you used, with each line broken into two rhymes, which I'd not come across before. TBH, I'd have preferred a separate line for each rhymed section, as the unusualness of its pattern was distracting.


*Check* Overall
Your poem added something to my own understanding, last but not least, I need to add that I find it very difficult to believe that anyone could think of you "I am a brute", for your poem radiates a gentle, inquiring, mirthful nature.

Thankyou for sharing your work, I have a trinket for you!


*Cat2*
72
72
Review of Never Forever  
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi StellaAmbrose

I found your poem through the Read&Review button.

It is a sad poem about a person who is in a love limbo, perhaps a rut, not knowing how to escape a relationship as they draw the conclusion that it's reached an end.

It is especially sad for the timing as we approach Valentines Day, with its artificial focus on relationship bliss, and thus we wonder if that is yet another anchor holding them back from leaving.

Your poem makes me send wishes for strength to the worn and weary, unappreciated hearts.

Thankyou for sharing this touching set of freeform verse.

*Butterfly2W*
73
73
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi 54.elias ,

There is nothing I enjoy more than to read a play; the shelves of my library are scattered with them. But I did not expect to find one when I was looking for a newbie work to read today. You can imagine my delight!

*Hook* Opening paragraph
Well for me, I was hooked as soon as I saw it was a play. For others, I think it would be the way that your primary character began straight into the good stuff, announcing what he wanted from the day! Straight away we knew there would be childlike wonder involved.

*People* Characters
I appreciated the dramatis personae, I needed to reference it nearly straight away to find out why Timmy was surprised that Rosie could talk.

You used the characters' conversation well to establish their personalities, while I also appreciated the director's input in brackets to their tones. It was easy to cast your characters onto a stage.

*HeartBl* What I liked best

Rosie: (squeaky voice) Did someone say magical?
Timmy: Rosie, you can talk?

I loved your irony of the magic happening that his pet rabbit could talk being ignored, as they quested to visit the magical garden.

*Hammer* Recommendations
I found it a bit distracting and harder to read because the text had been centred, which is not the usual for a play.

*Check* Overall
Loved Loved Loved this. I am going to double-click the plus sign near your handle, which will make it easier for me to follow your work! Wishing you great times here at WDC


P.S, I have a trinket for you!


*Cat2*
74
74
Review by H❀pe
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi KingsSideCastle

I'm reviewing your "Castle's Chessboard"  entry as part of the "I Write in 2024"  challenge.

I enjoyed the conversational tone you kicked off with, where you began by providing us with an explanation of the challenge and why it appeals to you. Great background information.

The music clip provided was a little bit 'nervous-making'. Rap is a style of music I don't usually listen to, so I was worried for a moment that I'd not be able to relate to your writing about it! However, you quickly put my fears to rest as you launched into a fun story about watching a magician reveal his secrets.

The tale flowed nicely and with that same companionable feel of your introduction so that I felt like I was getting to know you as I read.

The second part of your entry shifts the focus back to the music itself. But by now, I was prepared to give the rap a second chance. In fact, I listened to it again, and I come to agree that the chorus is pretty darn catchy, especially when I imagine you astronaut in the swimming pool (swimming pool was where my mind went, with a heap of teenagers in skimpy bikinis dancing round the poolside, lol)

Good golly, I think I'm even going to add it to my own playlist. Thank you for sharing, and exposing me to this!

Best luck with the rest of the music challenge *Music2*

Hope
75
75
Review of Greasy  
Review by H❀pe
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Wow W.D.Wilcox

I was searching for art-related work here at WDC when my eye was caught by the fabulous image you used for this piece. I loved the painting, and HAD to read the story that accompanied it.

I enjoyed the opening description of the painting (while I must admit that initially, I empathised with the artwork rather than the cancer patient).

Quickly enough I discovered this to be an incredibly powerful story. Killing of a puppy, wow, and yet it meant so much more than the murder of an innocent; the cancer patient was holding immense repressed anger for the injustice of their situation. I was struck deeply. (And moved for the patient this time.)

You also achieve a rather EAPoe feel, with the creeping painting being like the beating heart (my favourite story by his genius.)

Intense and evocative writing.

*Butterfly2W*
Hope
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