hi,
Robert. The story has a lot of confusion. Dead people do not have conversations with the living unless they are haunting the human's in question or are haunting the place. The tale is a great deal of trouble over the assumption that the Texans are going to leave america, and their desire to get the hydrogen bomb and use it on the US,
hi,
Sapphire, that is a love story. You had me going, when she took te luggage out of the shop/ I thought as he did. She is leaving, so he rushes off in pursuit of her. It was beautiful. The tale is great, I enjoyed it emmensely, mind you made her sound so unreal, and he was perfect. I ahve never met anyone perfect. Check out my
Bonnie wee lass. It is a poem in the comedy section. I beg of you too.
hi,
Lindsay. It was good that yur mother came in. There always a better tomorrow, you haev to dream to acheive what you wish to acheive and try and succeed at it. We all have bad days. But we have to continue on, if you don't who will for you. No one as you are you not the other person. There is you.
hi,
Lindsay. I can see that what Evan is telling youm maybe the truth, There are people who enjoy making fun of other people. They are cynics, some people learn to be that way, others are bone that way. Trusting other people get us frustrastered at time. You have to wear a rain coat not to be disturbed by them or rained out by them.
hi,
Robert, I know the feelinng, you wish you could undo the things you had done. The only thing you can do is pray? She has been safe. Loved by the people she grew up with. I hope she did see you? WE do not know what we are doing when we are young. We think we know, but what do we know?
hi,
aundria. allow others to see who you be, do not deny the voice that you have. Martin Luther KIng was one voice, but when he spoke, he spoke with the belief that he must be heard. His one voice served many people. To speak the truth and not be silenced, Allow others to hear you.
You are worthy to be heard, dear lady. Speak the word that is upon thy lips. Have hear your word.
hi,
Lindsay. That was cute, I did not see it coming. I take it you are comic. If not you should be writing for one. The humor is sarastic, but good. The form of the humor is great that you have choosen. Mine is more with its merits. If you would could you check out mother's day. By 'ittle me.
hi,
Lindsay. It is good, maybe even better than the first chapter. Keep at it dear lady. I am encouraged to read more about your characters. They have a way of growing on the reader of the chapter previously. This one here is as good, maybe ,,, No even better than it.
iT is beautiful the details that you acquired in your quotations, but a scribe learns also to listen to the way that words are presented as in chorus or a single cord. Can move a man to see an angel when it is heard. Angels are among us, as they have always been.
We either listen to their song, no deny that they are there. the love that you feel as it fills your heart is real. However you may mistake a sign of gallentry for love. Love is recipracted by both parties as is a true emotion. The truest.
hi
kelskels, It has impact, it makes the reader what to learn more, a mystery. Whoever this person is who sent her the letter, would like to ba acting as consceince guide/ Allow the reader to know that he trusts her. However is afraid if she found out who it was. She might object.
hi,
Steph. We all are mortal. There are times, when we do nothing right? Yet, we have people who still say they love you. Why because they do? In life, we see things, we desire for me it was as a youth comics, I could not have enough of them.
But when we fall in love, we believe it is forever. It will be, but you love the one you are with,
You should love yourself too, No one is perfect. Maybe he was interested in you for the wrong reasons. Never put yourself down.
hi
aundria, that is frightening, the house you have built to house the damned. they are held their in the prison built by mortal hands to hold them tethered there forever. It is a great peom. Dreams that we have, we wish we would never have return. The beings who have created the vilest nightmares should be inprisoned beyond the light of day.
hi,
Robert. That was graphic, the discribtion that you usd there was good, it was frightening. I enjoyed the story emmensely. The piece is good, DT's can get bad true, I donot know if they can get that bad. If so, I am thankful I do not drink,. Keep at her. That piece has a lot going for it.
hi,
Sam. That was wild, her falling for a subbus is plausible in the belief in them. Great work there. I enjoyed it emmensely. The heart is a gift to her for her actions. SHe now, has to seek out another to claim as her own. There was no way, that I could see that coming.
hi.
Steph. The poem is that of a true believer, Keep the faith and he will hol dyou sail so you do not run into the treachious rocks. Believe and you will be saved. Keep the faith my friend. The spirit that you pursue is great by far. He is your redeemer and savior.
hi,
Valerie. There are gifts we all have, there are things that we do, that we are not happy with. We should not judge another, sister or brother. We all have limitations to who we be. My wife is in wheel chair, but that does not stop us from dreaming of things. Believe in who you are? Believe in hope.
hi,
Nanna. That was vivid. The story carries with us a dark feild of dreams and nightmares. Check out the Dark soceity for your skills fit into their merits.
The beings that you descirbe are the eyes of a murderer. It was well wirtten.
hi,
Laura, that was different. There is one thing you should do for your paragraphs that is to indent or double space between. Every other detail was good, it allowed the reader to understand why they were doing what they were doing. As he said, he never a met an angle to help him, or to trust him as completely as she did him.
hi,
J.K. That was reminsecent of dreams we no doub all have had. It allows us to see, who the girl is whom we have dreamt of. We long to know her, and feel as though we should know her from somewhere thanks to its clarity. We think it over and find we can not find anyone who matches this person.
hi,
brick. That was dark, I can relate to the feelings in that we do not understand what we have done. Until we have done it. The problem is at sometimes, we do not see it. The pain that this person feels will never leave him. He will not feel good about himself. Until he realizes he has to change what he is doing for good.
hi,
brick. That was good. We are lead to believe that the characters are simply that. Like the ones were are reading about, the writer makes thees things happen to the characters.
However I did not see murder there. I figured you could have suggested he shut the book and she was gone.
Great work and yes, I ahve work written here. If you want to find it, where my name is you will see a suitcase. Hit it and you are in my portofolio
hi,
Jezz. There is alot of work there. Lucy has decided to advance herself into the feild of engineering aboard the ship. She wanted to advance herself, she is unsure of what she had entered into with the new crew member. You have a quite a bit there, but it is interesting.
It looked like it willl be quite a piece when you have completed it. I would not mind checking back with you.
hi,
Chinspinner. The opening allows us to understand that Thally and the Shin are owner and pet. The animal has to eat food to stay alive. She has a bite of displeasure upon seeing Chin choose to eat something that has come nearby. However does accept his need for food.
It allows us to understand the nature of a pet and its owner.
HI,
kIRBY. It is not bad. You have to be careful about what Heroes you refer tp as they are copywriten. If you want to sell it to DC. Make mention of their heroes, if Marvel use theirs.
You should find someone to do a drawing of figures. I think Jazz can do that you for. He is in the shops, here will do illustrations for covers of stories or books. 2000 for color, 1000 for black and white.
That way the editor has an idea what style of cartoon you are designing. I remember there was afigure in the forties called the sandman. He wore a gold mas with vents in it. Used a pistol. But now, they have a new sandman.
hi,
brick, I agree it has a smoother finish to it. However with his death I heard or read in one book, it is not good to kill the main character have him write the story unless you tell the reader in advance of this happening. You could have suggested, this is the tale he told to those who found him before he passed.
Does this help.
Sincerely
Richard Edwards
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