*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/icefairy/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/10
Review Requests: OFF
2,753 Public Reviews Given
2,800 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
Previous ... 6 7 8 9 -10- 11 12 13 14 15 ... Next
226
226
Review of SPIRIT GUIDE  
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Hi Countrymom,

This review is just my humble opinion and is meant to be helpful, not discouraging.

I just took a peek at your images and signatures, and decided to take a peek at SPIRIT GUIDE. WOW! What a beautiful signature.

*MugLV*WHAT I LIKED: The maiden feeding the doe next to a river.

*MugLV*APPEAL: Those who like nature will love this image.

*MugLV*The image matches the title quite well.
*MugLV*The colors used are eye catching and appealing.
*MugLV*The words stand out nicely against the background and do not block the image.
*MugLV*The image is easy to see and I know what this signature is.
*MugLV*You gave credit to the person who designed this signature.

*ThumbsUp*Great job.

*ConfettiV* *ConfettiP* *ConfettiB*The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak*ConfettiV* *ConfettiP* *ConfettiB*

Ladybug

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
227
227
for entry "Section 3: The Chosen" 
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with FantasyHorrorSciFi Novel Works...  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Hi Joto-Kai,

This review is just my humble opinion and is meant to be helpful, not discouraging.

*Key*Chapter: I just read chapter 3 of your novel, Return of The Black Dragon King.

*Key*Title: Chapter 3: The Chosen

*Key*Author: Joto-Kai

*UmbrellaP*APPEAL: Those who like to read about magic and dragons will like this tale.

*UmbrellaP*WHAT I LIKED: Each chapter unfolds more of the tale and leads the reader deeper into it wanting to know more.

*Key*Plot:
*Paw*Gregor is using Carl as a hostage to force Carolie to do his bidding.

*Key*Style & Voice:
*Paw*Each character comes across strong and clear.
*Paw*Written in 3rd person

*Key*Referencing:
*Paw*medieval -- Fantasy

*Key*Scene/Setting:
*Paw*You used a nice balance of imagery and well written words that made me feel as if I am there.

*Key*DIALOGUE: The dialogue sounds natural. I know who is speaking without the overuse of dialogue.

*Key*POINT OF VIEW: I know who's point of view I’m in.

*Key*Characters:
*Paw*Soliden, Verdenten, Carl, Carolie, Gregor

*Paw*Grammar:
My editing skills are not the best in the world, yet I try my best to let the author know if something looks out of place, misspelled or missing.

Everything seems to be alright.

*Key*Showing vs. Telling:
You have a nice balance of showing vs. telling.

*Key*Just My Personal Opinion: Each chapter pulls the reader deeper into this tale. I can’t wait to see the next chapter.

*ThumbsUp*Great job.

*ConfettiV* *ConfettiP* *ConfettiB*The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak*ConfettiV* *ConfettiP* *ConfettiB*

Ladybug

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
228
228
for entry "The Gazebo" 
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Hi Crystalwizard,

This review is just my humble opinion and is meant to be helpful, not discouraging.

Wow! What a cool handle. It’d make a good title for a short story, poem, or novel.

I just read your wee tale, The Gazebo. What a sad tale.

*GlassesB*APPEAL: Those who like to read about lost will find this an interesting tiny tale.

*GlassesB*WHAT I LIKED: That the gazebo waited for the brother and sister to return.

*GlassesB*HOW THIS TALE OR POEM MADE ME FEEL: It made sad and I shed a few tears at the lost.

*GlassesB*TITLE: Your title caught my attention and drew me in. It made me curious to discover what this tale was about.

*GlassesB*FORMAT: This is easy to read and understand.

*GlassesB*SETTING: You used a nice balance of imagery and well written words that made me feel as if I am there.

*GlassesB*GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SPELLING: My editing skills are not the best in the world, yet I try my best to let the author know if something looks out of place, misspelled or missing.

Seems to be alright.

*GlassesB*DIALOGUE: The dialogue sounds natural. I know who is speaking without the overuse of dialogue.

*GlassesB*FLOW: This story is told in a logical order. You didn’t overload this tale with a lot of foreign words and used a variety of sentence lengths.

*ThumbsUp*Great job.

*ConfettiV* *ConfettiP* *ConfettiB*The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak*ConfettiV* *ConfettiP* *ConfettiB*

Ladybug

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
229
229
Review of Reviewing Sig  
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Hi WinnieKay,

This review is just my humble opinion and is meant to be helpful, not discouraging.

I just took a peek at your images and signatures, and decided to take a peek at Reviewing Sig.

*MugLV*WHAT I LIKED: It‘s simple and reflects life.

*MugLV*APPEAL: Those who like reading in the backyard or just relaxing will like this image.

*MugLV*The image matches the title quite well.
*MugLV*The colors used are eye catching and appealing.
*MugLV*The words stand out nicely against the background and do not block the image.
*MugLV*The image is easy to see and I know what this signature is.
*MugLV*You gave credit to the person who designed this signature.

*ThumbsUp*Great job.

*ConfettiV* *ConfettiP* *ConfettiB*The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak*ConfettiV* *ConfettiP* *ConfettiB*

Ladybug

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
230
230
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Hi Sarah,

This review is just my humble opinion and is meant to be helpful, not discouraging.

I just read your wee tale, Thistledon Cottage.

*GlassesB*APPEAL: Those who like to read about ghosts will love this wee tale.

*GlassesB*WHAT I LIKED: The ghosts made Caroline feel welcome and didn‘t try scaring her off.

*GlassesB*HOW THIS TALE OR POEM MADE ME FEEL: It made me smile.

*GlassesB*TITLE: Your title caught my attention and drew me in. It made me curious to discover what this tale/poem was about.

*GlassesB*FORMAT: This is easy to read and understand. The extra spacing makes it easy on the eyes. Thank you.

*GlassesB*SETTING: You used a nice balance of imagery and well written words that made me feel as if I am there.

*GlassesB*GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SPELLING: My editing skills are not the best in the world, yet I try my best to let the author know if something looks out of place, misspelled or missing.

Seems to be alright.


*GlassesB*DIALOGUE: The dialogue sounds natural. I know who is speaking without the overuse of dialogue.

*GlassesB*POINT OF VIEW: I know who's point of view I’m in.

*GlassesB*FLOW: This story is told in a logical order. You didn’t overload this tale with a lot of foreign words and used a variety of sentence lengths.

*ThumbsUp*Great job.

*ConfettiV* *ConfettiP* *ConfettiB*The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak*ConfettiV* *ConfettiP* *ConfettiB*

Ladybug

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
231
231
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with The Central Bank  
Rated: E | (4.0)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Hi Alleycat428,

This review is just my humble opinion and is meant to be helpful, not discouraging.

I just read your wee tale, Truth About Dragons.

*GlassesB*APPEAL: Those who like to read about dragons will find this a charming tale to read.

*GlassesB*WHAT I LIKED: It paints dragons as kind creatures, not the monsters so many tales claim them to be.

*GlassesB*TITLE: Your title caught my attention and drew me in. It made me curious to discover what this tale/poem was about.

*GlassesB*NAMES: Names in stories make a big difference in creating believable places, people, & things. Are character names different or are they too similar to tell one character from the other?

*GlassesB*FORMAT: This is easy to read and understand.

*GlassesB*SETTING: You used a nice balance of imagery and well written words that made me feel as if I am there.

*GlassesB*GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SPELLING: My editing skills are not the best in the world, yet I try my best to let the author know if something looks out of place, misspelled or missing.

1. Of course (comma) the small ones did alright. They just evolved into birds(period)”

2. “Have you ever seen a more handsome dragon?”(space)H(h)e asked.

3. “I'm sure there's a lot you don't know about us.” He said. “My name's Luther. I've been around since before humans existed. I've watched you evolve over the ages. Your people never were to smart. Believing in sun gods, and rain gods, and gods of the seas. Sun gods, give me a break. It was pretty amusing watching you. Hell, you even thought the world was flat. I knew that wasn't true just by flying around.”

“Yep, your people were pretty gullible.” -- These two paragraphs should be one paragraph since the dragon is saying both.

4. “Oh nothing nothing,” I said. "Besides you're the only dragon, I've ever seen."

“So all the tales I've heard are false?” I asked. -- you have an extra nothing and this should be 1 paragraph since I is saying everything.

*GlassesB*DIALOGUE: The dialogue sounds natural. I know who is speaking without the overuse of dialogue.

*GlassesB*POINT OF VIEW: I know who's point of view I’m in.

*GlassesB*OTHER SUGGESTIONS/COMMENTS: The spacing of this story is a choppy and needs to be respaced.

*GlassesB*FLOW: This story is told in a logical order. You didn’t overload this tale with a lot of foreign words and used a variety of sentence lengths.

*ThumbsUp*Great job.

*ConfettiV* *ConfettiP* *ConfettiB*The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak*ConfettiV* *ConfettiP* *ConfettiB*

Ladybug

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
232
232
Review of Rip Tide  
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with The Central Bank  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Hi Simple Spider,

This review is just my humble opinion and is meant to be helpful, not discouraging.

I just read your wee tale, Rip Tide.

*GlassesB*APPEAL: Those who like to read about learning a lesson will like this tale.

*GlassesB*WHAT I LIKED: David learned a lesson about rip tides and their dangers.

*GlassesB*HOW THIS TALE OR POEM MADE ME FEEL: A bit sad when I thought David would die.

*GlassesB*TITLE: Your title caught my attention and drew me in. It made me curious to discover what this tale was about.

*GlassesB*FORMAT: This is easy to read and understand.

*GlassesB*SETTING: You used a nice balance of imagery and well written words that made me feel as if I am there.

*GlassesB*GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SPELLING: My editing skills are not the best in the world, yet I try my best to let the author know if something looks out of place, misspelled or missing.

Trashing, he desperately felt for the sea floor only managing to scrape the bottom with the tip of his big toe. -- I believe you want thrashing instead of trashing


*GlassesB*DIALOGUE: The dialogue sounds natural. I know who is speaking without the overuse of dialogue.

*GlassesB*POINT OF VIEW: I know who's point of view I’m in.

*GlassesB*FLOW: This story is told in a logical order. You didn’t overload this tale with a lot of foreign words and used a variety of sentence lengths.

*ThumbsUp*Great job.

*ConfettiV* *ConfettiP* *ConfettiB*The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak*ConfettiV* *ConfettiP* *ConfettiB*

Ladybug

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
233
233
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Hi Walkinbird ,

This review is just my humble opinion and is meant to be helpful, not discouraging.

Nice handle.

I just took a peek at your images and signatures, and decided to take a peek at Ranger: Butterfly in the Night.

*MugLV*WHAT I LIKED: The way the butterfly stands out against the background.

*MugLV*APPEAL: Those who like butterflies will love this image.

*MugLV*The image matches the title quite well.
*MugLV*The colors used are eye catching and appealing.
*MugLV*The words stand out nicely against the background and do not block the image.
*MugLV*The image is easy to see and I know what this signature is.
*MugLV*You gave credit to the person who designed this signature.

*ThumbsUp*Great job.

*ConfettiV* *ConfettiP* *ConfettiB*The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak*ConfettiV* *ConfettiP* *ConfettiB*

Ladybug

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
234
234
Review of Touched By Love  
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Hi Ann Ticipation,

This review is just my humble opinion and is meant to be helpful, not discouraging.

I just read your wee poem, Touched By Love.

*GlassesB*APPEAL: Those who like to read about lasting love will enjoy reading this poem.

*GlassesB*WHAT I LIKED: The emotions your words create.

*GlassesB*HOW THIS TALE OR POEM MADE ME FEEL: Warm and fuzzy.

*GlassesB*TITLE: Your title caught my attention and drew me in. It made me curious to discover what this poem was about.

*GlassesB*FORMAT: This is easy to read and understand.

*GlassesB*SETTING: You used a nice balance of imagery and well written words that made me feel as if I am there.

*GlassesB*GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SPELLING: My editing skills are not the best in the world, yet I try my best to let the author know if something looks out of place, misspelled or missing.

Seems to be alright.


*ThumbsUp*Great job.

*ConfettiV* *ConfettiP* *ConfettiB*The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak*ConfettiV* *ConfettiP* *ConfettiB*

Ladybug

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
235
235
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Hi Alleycat428,

This review is just my humble opinion and is meant to be helpful, not discouraging.

I just read your wee tale, The Eye Of Lucifer.

*GlassesB*APPEAL: Those who like to read about strange stones with magical powers will like this tiny tale.

*GlassesB*TITLE: Your title caught my attention and drew me in. It made me curious to discover what this tale was about.

*GlassesB*FORMAT: This is easy to read and understand.

*GlassesB*SETTING: You used a nice balance of imagery and well written words that made me feel as if I am there.

*GlassesB*GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SPELLING: My editing skills are not the best in the world, yet I try my best to let the author know if something looks out of place, misspelled or missing.

Suddenly a cold wind blows through the tavern, like a breath of evil. -- this would sound better with blew through

"Before it was Romania. It's said he was in league with the devil, and ruled with fear and dark powers." No one could oust him from his throne. His darkness covered the land, but then one day, he was gone, like a bad dream. When word of his absence, spread throughout the land, the people rejoiced." -- remove the quotation marks after powers

"So why pray tell did you bring it here?" Asked Ned -- the “a” in asked needs to be lower case

*GlassesB*OTHER THINGS OUT OF PLACE: He was old to be traipsing around anymore. -- to is missing before old

Wesley Arcroft was one of Ned's scavengers. He was a much younger man than Ned ,with blue eyes that sparkled, when he spoke of his adventures. -- a space is needed between the comma and with.

"Well, what did you find me?" Asked Ned. -- the “a” in asked needs to be lower case

*GlassesB*DIALOGUE: The dialogue sounds natural. I know who is speaking without the overuse of dialogue.

*GlassesB*POINT OF VIEW: I know who's point of view I’m in.

*GlassesB*FLOW: This story is told in a logical order. You didn’t overload this tale with a lot of foreign words and used a variety of sentence lengths.

*ThumbsUp*Great job.

*ConfettiV* *ConfettiP* *ConfettiB*The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak*ConfettiV* *ConfettiP* *ConfettiB*

Ladybug

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
236
236
Review of Night Vision  
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Hi Joy,

This review is just my humble opinion and is meant to be helpful, not discouraging.

I just read your wee poem, Night Vision.

*GlassesB*APPEAL: Those who are afraid of the dark will like this tiny tale.

*GlassesB*WHAT I LIKED: The images the words created.

*GlassesB*HOW THIS TALE OR POEM MADE ME FEEL: A bit unnerved -- I’m a wee bit afraid of the dark.

*GlassesB*TITLE: Your title caught my attention and drew me in. It made me curious to discover what this poem was about.

*GlassesB*FORMAT: This is easy to read and understand.

*GlassesB*SETTING: You used a nice balance of imagery and well written words that made me feel as if I am there.

*GlassesB*GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SPELLING: My editing skills are not the best in the world, yet I try my best to let the author know if something looks out of place, misspelled or missing.

Seems to be alright.


*ThumbsUp*Great job.

*ConfettiV* *ConfettiP* *ConfettiB*The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak*ConfettiV* *ConfettiP* *ConfettiB*

Ladybug

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
237
237
Review of The Hollow Keys  
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with TGDI Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Hi Early:consumed by school,

This review is just my humble opinion and is meant to be helpful, not discouraging.

I just read your wee tale, The Hollow Keys.

What an interesting image at the beginning of the story.

*GlassesB*APPEAL: Those who like to read about finding your muse will find this interesting to read.

*GlassesB*WHAT I LIKED: Going to some creepy old ruins to get inspired to write tales of horror. Great idea!

*GlassesB*HOW THIS TALE OR POEM MADE ME FEEL: A bit unnerved.

*GlassesB*TITLE: Your title caught my attention and drew me in. It made me curious to discover what this tale was about.

*GlassesB*FORMAT: This is easy to read and understand.

*GlassesB*SETTING: You used a nice balance of imagery and well written words that made me feel as if I am there.

*GlassesB*GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SPELLING: My editing skills are not the best in the world, yet I try my best to let the author know if something looks out of place, misspelled or missing.

Seems to be alright.

*GlassesB*OTHER THINGS OUT OF PLACE: “Don’t you want to know my name?” she asked. His eyes hung on her heavy lips. They looked so soft. -- start a new paragraph with His eyes


*GlassesB*DIALOGUE: The dialogue sounds natural. I know who is speaking without the overuse of dialogue.

*GlassesB*POINT OF VIEW: I know who's point of view I’m in.

*GlassesB*OTHER SUGGESTIONS/COMMENTS: What the hell am I supposed to learn about writing horror from an old church? Sure, it’s creepy as fuck. But that’s not going to help me get a story out. Maybe this is some kind of prank or hazing. -- instead of saying creepy as fuck, why not show us how creepy it is.

*GlassesB*FLOW: This story is told in a logical order. You didn’t overload this tale with a lot of foreign words and used a variety of sentence lengths.

*ThumbsUp*Great job.

*ConfettiV* *ConfettiP* *ConfettiB*The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak*ConfettiV* *ConfettiP* *ConfettiB*

Ladybug

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
238
238
Review of The Watchmaker  
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with TGDI Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Hi rosesinyourcheeks,

This review is just my humble opinion and is meant to be helpful, not discouraging.

I just read your wee tale, The Watchmaker.

*GlassesB*APPEAL: Those who like to read about finding love will like this tiny tale.

*GlassesB*WHAT I LIKED: Everything worked out in the end.

*GlassesB*HOW THIS TALE OR POEM MADE ME FEEL: It made me smile.

*GlassesB*TITLE: Your title caught my attention and drew me in. It made me curious to discover what this tale was about.

*GlassesB*FORMAT: This is easy to read and understand.

*GlassesB*SETTING: You used a nice balance of imagery and well written words that made me feel as if I am there.

*GlassesB*GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SPELLING: My editing skills are not the best in the world, yet I try my best to let the author know if something looks out of place, misspelled or missing.

Seems to be alright.


*GlassesB*OTHER THINGS OUT OF PLACE: I said to him, "Put me down," I didn't even look up at him. He stopped walking and tried to look at me, but I always turned away. "It's no trouble." I didn't care. "Please put me down." -- this needs to broken up like this:

I said to him, "Put me down," I didn't even look up at him.

He stopped walking and tried to look at me, but I always turned away. "It's no trouble."

I didn't care. "Please put me down."



*GlassesB*DIALOGUE: The dialogue sounds natural. I know who is speaking without the overuse of dialogue.

*GlassesB*POINT OF VIEW: I know who's point of view I’m in.

*GlassesB*FLOW: This story is told in a logical order. You didn’t overload this tale with a lot of foreign words and used a variety of sentence lengths.

*ThumbsUp*Great job.

*ConfettiV* *ConfettiP* *ConfettiB*The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak*ConfettiV* *ConfettiP* *ConfettiB*

Ladybug

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
239
239
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Hi Sarahfitz,

This review is just my humble opinion and is meant to be helpful, not discouraging.

I just read your wee tale, The Way To The Lighthouse.

*GlassesB*APPEAL: Those who like to read about a trip down memory lane and lost love will like this wee tale.

*GlassesB*HOW THIS TALE OR POEM MADE ME FEEL: A bit sad.

*GlassesB*TITLE: Your title caught my attention and drew me in. It made me curious to discover what this talewas about.

*GlassesB*FORMAT: This is easy to understand, yet a bit difficult to read. You need to put spaces between your paragraphs.

*GlassesB*SETTING: You used a nice balance of imagery and well written words that made me feel as if I am there.

*GlassesB*GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SPELLING: My editing skills are not the best in the world, yet I try my best to let the author know if something looks out of place, misspelled or missing.

tick,tick,tick -- need spaces

*GlassesB*POINT OF VIEW: I know who's point of view I’m in.

*GlassesB*OTHER SUGGESTIONS/COMMENTS: This tale seems more told than shown. Maybe have the main character interact verbal with the kids or when she stops to get gas.

*GlassesB*FLOW: This story is told in a logical order. You didn’t overload this tale with a lot of foreign words and used a variety of sentence lengths.

*ThumbsUp*Great job.

*ConfettiV* *ConfettiP* *ConfettiB*The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak*ConfettiV* *ConfettiP* *ConfettiB*

Ladybug

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
240
240
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Hi Anastasia,

This review is just my humble opinion and is meant to be helpful, not discouraging.

I just read your wee poem, The Light Is Watching. What a nice picture to go with this poem.

*GlassesB*APPEAL: Those who like to read about sunlight and its warmth will like this poem.

*GlassesB*WHAT I LIKED: The emotions your words created.

*GlassesB*HOW THIS TALE OR POEM MADE ME FEEL: A bit sadd.

*GlassesB*TITLE: Your title caught my attention and drew me in. It made me curious to discover what this poem was about.

*GlassesB*FORMAT: This is easy to read and understand.

*GlassesB*SETTING: You used a nice balance of imagery and well written words that made me feel as if I am there.

*GlassesB*GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SPELLING: My editing skills are not the best in the world, yet I try my best to let the author know if something looks out of place, misspelled or missing.

Seems to be alright.

*ThumbsUp*Great job.

*ConfettiV* *ConfettiP* *ConfettiB*The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak*ConfettiV* *ConfettiP* *ConfettiB*

Ladybug

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
241
241
Review of Dark Horse  
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Hi arakun the twisted raccoon,

This review is just my humble opinion and is meant to be helpful, not discouraging.

I just read your wee tale, Dark Horse.

*GlassesB*APPEAL: Those who like to read about unusual sea creatures will find this interesting to read.

*GlassesB*WHAT I LIKED: Briana’s belief that Kieran was still alive.

*GlassesB*HOW THIS TALE OR POEM MADE ME FEEL: A bit sad. Briana died shortly before Kieran returned.

*GlassesB*TITLE: Your title caught my attention and drew me in. It made me curious to discover what this tale was about.

*GlassesB*CHARACTERS: Briana, Kieran


*GlassesB*FORMAT: This is easy to read and understand.

*GlassesB*SETTING: You used a nice balance of imagery and well written words that made me feel as if I am there.

*GlassesB*GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SPELLING: My editing skills are not the best in the world, yet I try my best to let the author know if something looks out of place, misspelled or missing.

Seems to be alright.

*GlassesB*DIALOGUE: The dialogue sounds natural. I know who is speaking without the overuse of dialogue.

*GlassesB*POINT OF VIEW: I know who's point of view I’m in.


*ThumbsUp*Great job.

*ConfettiV* *ConfettiP* *ConfettiB*The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak*ConfettiV* *ConfettiP* *ConfettiB*

Ladybug

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
242
242
Review of The Watch  
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Hi Nanapockets,

This review is just my humble opinion and is meant to be helpful, not discouraging.

I just read your wee tale, The Watch.

*GlassesB*APPEAL: Those who like to read about wonderful discoveries in an antique mall or store will love this wee tale.

*GlassesB*WHAT I LIKED: The emotions the words created.

*GlassesB*HOW THIS TALE OR POEM MADE ME FEEL: A bit sad. It brought a few tears.

*GlassesB*TITLE: Your title caught my attention and drew me in. It made me curious to discover what this tale was about.

*GlassesB*FORMAT: This is easy to read and understand.

*GlassesB*SETTING: You used a nice balance of imagery and well written words that made me feel as if I am there.


*GlassesB*GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SPELLING: My editing skills are not the best in the world, yet I try my best to let the author know if something looks out of place, misspelled or missing.

Seems to be alright.

*GlassesB*OTHER THINGS OUT OF PLACE: I didn’t get these feelings very often, but when I did I knew should follow them. You missing I after knew

In 1923 Tessa Calloway was working as a nursing student Louisville General Hospital. -- you need to put at in front of Louisville

*GlassesB*DIALOGUE: The dialogue sounds natural. I know who is speaking without the overuse of dialogue.

*GlassesB*POINT OF VIEW: I know who's point of view I’m in.

*GlassesB*OTHER SUGGESTIONS/COMMENTS: I’d always been a cauldron of bubbling curiosity -- WOW! What a vivid image this description creates.

the knobs -- would love to know what knobs of Floyd County are?

*ThumbsUp*Great job.

*ConfettiV* *ConfettiP* *ConfettiB*The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak*ConfettiV* *ConfettiP* *ConfettiB*

Ladybug

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
243
243
Review of The Climb  
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with The Central Bank  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Hi W.D.,

This review is just my humble opinion and is meant to be helpful, not discouraging.

I just read your wee tale, The Climb.

*GlassesB*APPEAL: Those who like to read about revenge will love this wee tale.

*GlassesB*WHAT I LIKED: Even though George will be responsible for killing Bob he‘s making Natasha a part of his evil scheme to get even with her.

*GlassesB*HOW THIS TALE OR POEM MADE ME FEEL: A bit unnerved because there are guys like George out there for real.

*GlassesB*TITLE: Your title caught my attention and drew me in. It made me curious to discover what this tale was about.

*GlassesB*FORMAT: This is easy to read and understand.

*GlassesB*SETTING: You used a nice balance of imagery and well written words that made me feel as if I am there.

*GlassesB*GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SPELLING: My editing skills are not the best in the world, yet I try my best to let the author know if something looks out of place, misspelled or missing.

Seems to be alright.


*GlassesB*DIALOGUE: The dialogue sounds natural. I know who is speaking without the overuse of dialogue.

*GlassesB*POINT OF VIEW: I know who's point of view I’m in.

*ThumbsUp*Great job.

*ConfettiV* *ConfettiP* *ConfettiB*The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak*ConfettiV* *ConfettiP* *ConfettiB*

Ladybug

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
244
244
Review of Candy Store Ghost  
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with The Central Bank  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Hi Kotaro,

This review is just my humble opinion and is meant to be helpful, not discouraging.

I just read your wee tale, Candy Store Ghost.

*GlassesB*APPEAL: Those who like to read ghost stories will love this tale.

*GlassesB*WHAT I LIKED: The somewhat happy ending.

*GlassesB*HOW THIS TALE OR POEM MADE ME FEEL: A bit unnerved.

*GlassesB*TITLE: Your title caught my attention and drew me in. It made me curious to discover what this tale was about.

*GlassesB*FORMAT: This is easy to read and understand.

*GlassesB*SETTING: You used a nice balance of imagery and well written words that made me feel as if I am there.

*GlassesB*GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SPELLING: My editing skills are not the best in the world, yet I try my best to let the author know if something looks out of place, misspelled or missing.

Seems to be alright.

*GlassesB*POINT OF VIEW: I know who's point of view I’m in.

*ThumbsUp*Great job.

*ConfettiV* *ConfettiP* *ConfettiB*The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak*ConfettiV* *ConfettiP* *ConfettiB*

Ladybug

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
245
245
Review of The Climb  
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Hi Kings,

This review is just my humble opinion and is meant to be helpful, not discouraging.

I just read your wee poem, The Climb.

*GlassesB*APPEAL: Those who like to read about brothers will love this poem.


*GlassesB*WHAT I LIKED: This emotional and beautiful tribute to your brother.

*GlassesB*HOW THIS TALE OR POEM MADE ME FEEL: Sad. It made me cry before I even reached the end.

*GlassesB*TITLE: Your title caught my attention and drew me in. It made me curious to discover what this poem was about.

*GlassesB*FORMAT: This is easy to read and understand.

*GlassesB*SETTING: You used a nice balance of imagery and well written words that made me feel as if I am there.

*GlassesB*GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SPELLING: My editing skills are not the best in the world, yet I try my best to let the author know if something looks out of place, misspelled or missing.

Seems to be alright.

*ThumbsUp*Great job.

*ConfettiV* *ConfettiP* *ConfettiB*The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak*ConfettiV* *ConfettiP* *ConfettiB*

Ladybug

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

246
246
Review of The Library Lady  
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Hi Mara,

This review is just my humble opinion and is meant to be helpful, not discouraging.

I just read your wee tale, The Library Lady.

The picture of the tire swing gives this tale a homey feeling.

*GlassesB*APPEAL: Those who like to read about finding comfort in a time of need will love this wee tale.

*GlassesB*WHAT I LIKED: Tricia took Kasey in when her grandmother died and more than likely will adopt the child.

*GlassesB*HOW THIS TALE OR POEM MADE ME FEEL: It made me cry.

*GlassesB*TITLE: Your title caught my attention and drew me in. It made me curious to discover what this tale was about.

*GlassesB*CHARACTERS: Tricia McPherson, Kasey, Megan, Jeff

*GlassesB*FORMAT: This is easy to read and understand.

*GlassesB*SETTING: You used a nice balance of imagery and well written words that made me feel as if I am there.

*GlassesB*GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SPELLING: My editing skills are not the best in the world, yet I try my best to let the author know if something looks out of place, misspelled or missing.

Seems to be alright.

*GlassesB*DIALOGUE: The dialogue sounds natural. I know who is speaking without the overuse of dialogue.

*GlassesB*POINT OF VIEW: I know who's point of view I’m in.

*GlassesB*FLOW: This story is told in a logical order. You didn’t overload this tale with a lot of foreign words and used a variety of sentence lengths.

*ThumbsUp*Great job.

*ConfettiV* *ConfettiP* *ConfettiB*The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak*ConfettiV* *ConfettiP* *ConfettiB*

Ladybug

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
247
247
Review of A Sword  
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Hi Wyrd,

This review is just my humble opinion and is meant to be helpful, not discouraging.

I just read your wee tale, A Sword.

*GlassesB*APPEAL: Those who are interested in swords will like this wee tale.

*GlassesB*WHAT I LIKED: You gave the sword a personality and made it seems as if it was a living person not a weapon of death and destruction.

*GlassesB*HOW THIS TALE OR POEM MADE ME FEEL: A bit sad.

*GlassesB*TITLE: Your title caught my attention and drew me in. It made me curious to discover what this tale was about.

*GlassesB*FORMAT: This is easy to read and understand.

*GlassesB*SETTING: You used a nice balance of imagery and well written words that made me feel as if I am there.

*GlassesB*GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION?SPELLING: My editing skills are not the best in the world, yet I try my best to let the author know if something looks out of place, misspelled or missing.

Seems to be alright.

*ThumbsUp*Great job.

*ConfettiV* *ConfettiP* *ConfettiB*The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak*ConfettiV* *ConfettiP* *ConfettiB*

Ladybug

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
248
248
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with FantasyHorrorSciFi Novel Works...  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Hi Talicia Em,

This review is just my humble opinion and is meant to be helpful, not discouraging.

I just read Vampiric Interdiction: Prologue.

*GlassesB*HOW THIS TALE MADE ME FEEL: A bit confused. I understand what is written, yet I‘m not sure what this tale is about. The title hints at vampires and something supernatural, yet this isn‘t clear.

*GlassesB*TITLE: Your title caught my attention and drew me in. It made me curious to discover what this tale was about.

*GlassesB*CHARACTERS: Villahr, Reveal

*GlassesB*FORMAT: This is easy to read and understand.

*GlassesB*SETTING: You used a nice balance of imagery and well written words that made me feel as if I am there.

*GlassesB*PLOT: I not sure what this tale is suppose to be about. So far all I see is a man saddened by the death of his wife while giving birth to their child.

*GlassesB*GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SPELLING: My editing skills are not the best in the world, yet I try my best to let the author know if something looks out of place, misspelled or missing.

For a man in his situation, such a thing spelt danger in big bold letters. -- I think it might be better to use spelled in place of spelt

He slid his hand vertically along the spine in a gentle, soothing motion and pushing his feet firmly against the floor began to rock again with greater vigour. -- I think you need to add he before began

It was a beauteous sight. -- I think beautiful might sound better

*GlassesB*POINT OF VIEW: I know who's point of view I’m in.

*GlassesB*OTHER SUGGESTIONS/COMMENTS: At the beginning you have italic, then Villahr is introduced. Is the italic his thoughts or someone else’s? They the italic thoughts belong to someone else you need to indicate a change of POV with extra spaces or ### signs or something to let the reader know. If the italic is Villahr’s thoughts this needs to be indicated.

*GlassesB*FLOW: This story is told in a logical order. You didn’t overload this tale with a lot of foreign words and used a variety of sentence lengths.

*ThumbsUp*Great job.

*ConfettiV* *ConfettiP* *ConfettiB*The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak*ConfettiV* *ConfettiP* *ConfettiB*

Ladybug

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
249
249
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Hi aralls,

This review is just my humble opinion and is meant to be helpful, not discouraging.

I just read your wee poem, Walking on Eggshells.

*GlassesB*APPEAL: Those who like to read about living in fear will find this an interesting poem to read.

*GlassesB*WHAT I LIKED: How brave the little boy is, and that he‘s trying to comfort his mommy.

*GlassesB*HOW THIS TALE OR POEM MADE ME FEEL: Sad that the lady seems to have lost hope.

*GlassesB*TITLE: Your title caught my attention and drew me in. It made me curious to discover what this poem was about.

*GlassesB*FORMAT: This is easy to read and understand.

*GlassesB*SETTING: You used a nice balance of imagery and well written words that made me feel as if I am there.

*GlassesB*GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION?SPELLING: My editing skills are not the best in the world, yet I try my best to let the author know if something looks out of place, misspelled or missing.

Seems to be alright.

*ThumbsUp*Great job.

*ConfettiV* *ConfettiP* *ConfettiB*The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak*ConfettiV* *ConfettiP* *ConfettiB*

Ladybug

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
250
250
Review by Ladybug
In affiliation with FantasyHorrorSciFi Novel Works...  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Hi Joto-Kai,

This review is just my humble opinion and is meant to be helpful, not discouraging.

*Key*Chapter: I just read chapter 2 of your novel, Return of The Black Dragon King.

*Key*Title: Chapter 2: The Writing on the Wall

*Key*Author: Joto-Kai

*UmbrellaP*APPEAL: Those who love to read fantasies and about over throwing a leader will like this tale.

*Key*Plot:
*Paw*There’s a blight that’s destroying everything and it must be stopped.

*Key*Style & Voice:
*Paw* All the characters come through strong and clear.

*Key*Referencing:
*Paw*Fantasy

*Key*Scene/Setting:
*Paw*You used a nice balance of imagery and well written words that made me feel as if I am there.

*Key*DIALOGUE: The dialogue sounds natural. I know who is speaking without the overuse of dialogue.

*Key*POINT OF VIEW: I know who's point of view I’m in.

*Key*Characters:
*Paw*The acolyte, Dregor, Brother Barren, Carolie, Soren, Carl, Kissla, Drensen

*Paw*Grammar:
My editing skills are not the best in the world, yet I try my best to let the author know if something looks out of place, misspelled or missing.

Forgive brother Barren -- since brother is being used as part of a name it should capitalized -- or at least that’s the way I was taught in school

thorgabending -- what does this mean? -- I couldn’t find it in a dictionary.

And Soren, what did he have to say." -- needs a question mark instead of a period

With a rictus of resolve - what does rictus mean? I couldn’t find it in a dictionary

*UmbrellaP*OTHER THINGS OUT OF PLACE: Horrified, I closed my eyes, but still I could see them, and clamped my hands over my ears. -- when did her hands become untied from behind her back? A few paragraphs above it reads her hand are tied behind her back when Barren shoves her into the dark room.

It was all foreign, hopelessly complex and foreign -- use a different word for one of the foreigns -- strange perhaps for the first foreign

*UmbrellaP*WHAT I DIDN’T LIKE: Needing to use a dictionary to read a story or novel.

*Key*Just My Personal Opinion: It’s okay to use unfamiliar words in a tale. When I do I type them like this: Kri Kivi (Blood Stone).

*ThumbsUp*Great job.

*ConfettiV* *ConfettiP* *ConfettiB*The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak*ConfettiV* *ConfettiP* *ConfettiB*

Ladybug

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
874 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 35 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/icefairy/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/10