A great, well written shorty story. I found it very interesting that you created a female dragon. And then in your descriptioin of the dragon, you put so much emotion into it. The descriptions of the times were very relaistic. Good job, keep writing.
This story starts right off on an interesting start.
I did notice a few mistakes: Susan was embarrassed that he'd seen her usually hidden( tatoo. should be spelled tattoo.) She straightened her skirt and sat back down in the chair.
He circled his city on an atlas she had, Duba ? Dubia in the northwest corner of Susan realized her concept of an American teenagez teen-age date would be something he probably wasn't familiar with.
He was used to news, and all communication, as it was in his country. When Susan asked if he understood what wasd drop the “d” was being said, Ahmed said no, and turned off the television at her
Susan drove through the rainsoaked should have a space, two words: rain soaked streets, still crying.
apartment. Now, she was wet, cold, high, and lost in a thunderstormstorm. drop storm. Thunderstorm. The flashes of lightenening should be lightenening were less frequent, the worst of the storm having already passed. She was fearful of what would happen next.
All in all, I enjoyed this story. After correcting the mistakes it will certainly be a five star piece of work. Write on.
Reviewed by INMAN
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In this four chapter story the characters are set up and developed rather well. The story builds up to the plot and it is well written and entertaining. I liked the way the characters reacted to each other. This was a cleverly done piece of writing. Write on and Welcome to writing.com
Reviewed by INMAN
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This is a well written and interesting piece about a first job. The story is entertaining. The overall story would benefit with line breaks after each speaker and each paragraph. Example from your writing:
“Whose watch is this?”
“Someone lost it, how am I supposed to know?”
“Can I just have it?”
“No, someone might come back for it.”
“Forget them. I’m going to take it.” He started to walk out of the locker room with the watch.
Over all, good job.
Reviewed by INMAN
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This is a well written and interesting tribute to friendship. The writer lists the qualities in the friend that make the friend a very special person. The narrative is written in an entertaining fashion. Writer states that she will always be grateful for this friendship. Good job. Keep writing.
Reviewed by INMAN
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In this piece called "A place called home"it is well written and interesting. I thought a few more line breaks would help the readability of this piece. A line break at the end of every paragraph, at least, would be nice.
REVIEWED by INMAN
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Here is an old story but this one is set in a poetry framework. About a woman who hides in guilt at the end of the bar picking up men. Well done. Entertaining and has merit. The writer exhibits qualities of being a natural born story teller.
Reviewed by INMAN
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This is the first time someone has totally explained acrostic to me and I like this one about being fat. That is becuase I've been fat all my life. This one was well done and entertaining.
Reviewed by INMAN
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This writer has written a story with a happy ending and turned it into a poem. Well done. I liked the fact that the little girl never gave up on what her desire was. Well written and entertaining. This writer exhibits qualities of anatural born storyteller.
Reviewed by INMAN
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This was a neat little narrative about what animals do on New Year's Eve. The writer used creative insight in this piece. Well written, interesting, and entertaining. This writer exhibits qualities of being a natural born storyteller. Write on!
This writer has written a very light hearted narrative about a trip to the facial salon that ended up in distastor and then got worse from there. It is interesting and entertaining and well written. This writer is natural born story teller. Write on!
Reviewed by INMAN
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This is a serious but satirical look at exercise. The writer prepares for it like it might the last time, by having the cell phone in one hand pre-dialed to 911 in case the writer needs med flight to come to the rescue. Light hearted and entertaining this was well done. Write on.
Reviewed by INMAN
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Actually both are good. Personally, I like first person the best. Your writing style is good as are the descriptions. I read both versions and although I prefer first person, your third person sounded good too. So that kind of leaves it up to you.
This Merit Badge system is a great incentive here at writing.com. I have recieved several in my short time here and it is a real honor when a fellow writer sends me a Merit Badge or Awardicon. It is awards like this that keep this site hopping with inspired people.
If there is any doubt about who this writer is writing about then you need to fly away to another universe. This was well written and interesting how the writer wrote about God without mentioned Him anywhere. Really creative piece of writing here. Good job. Write on!
Happy New Year! Reviewed by INMAN
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This writer has written a good poem about his favorite place: Rivendell. In doing so he has masterfully created a story poem about this special place.
The verses flow, one to another and sounded alright when read out loud. Good job. Keep writing.
Happy New Year! Reviewed by INMAN
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This is a well written narrative about a cheating husband and the strife between him and his mate when she finds out. There is a lot of tension here and the writer did a good job or portraying this tension. The husband tries to ask for forgiveness but the woman is really torn up over this event. Good job write on. Reviewed by INMAN
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This writer is writing about true friendship and some of the challenges involved with a close friend. With true friends, one will have ups and downs and sometimes not know what to say. Well done, well written. This writer should keep on writing.
Reviewed by INMAN
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I can identify with the walking to the fridge is my exercise. This is a well written poem about dieting. I never was one to diet, but my father was and I remember when he went on those starvation, rabbit food diets. This was light hearted, funny, and humerous. good job. Reviewed by INMAN
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{c;red}The writer's descriptions in this piece of writing are so vivid and forceful that when I read through the poem I almost felt like I was out under the star watching a falling star move through the sky. Well done, Bravo, good job. Reviewed by INMAN
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EXCELLENT! I wonder how many times this scenario has happened to me over the years. The writer did in 55 words what would take me a 1000 words to portray. Well written, interesting, emotional, entertaining...GREAT.
Good job. Writer should continue to write.
Reviewed by INMAN
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This writer is writing about Child abuse because she says that is what she knows. The poem is very emotional and tears at one's heart. I'm so sorry that the writer knows about child abuse I suppose from personal experience, but it is enlightening to know that she is able to write about such a tragic subject. Good job. Reviewed by INMAN
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A novel approach to a ghastly subject. LOL, I liked writing that line. Death is a subject that many of us, me included, don't want to talk about. This writer has faced it head on and done a wonderful job and set it into a poem.. Good job. Write on.
Reviewed by INMAN
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I view this as high quality writing. The writer states that poetry is boring and then goes on to make quotes about some great old writers. This poetry was very interesting and entertaining. If this writer is not published he ought to be. Good job. Write on.
Reviewed by INMAN
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Tis was a very moving, emotional piece of writing. About two friends that shared so many things and especially held each other's hands. So sorry for your loss. That was very touching and the writer portrayed this tragic event very skillfully. Write on.
Reviewed by INMAN
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