Saw your portfolio on the Nominated author's list, so I thought I'd bop in and drop you a little review.
Humble Comments:
Wow - I didnt know this was happening anywhere. I knew about the whole issue concerning dog and cat meat being put into Chinese foods, but this was a surprise. My sister works with a group of veterinary professionals who spay cats using city grant money. I know that the cat population is bonkers, but just running out there and killing the little critters isnt really a good answer to the problem.
Happy writing,
Jen
** Image ID #1549495 Unavailable **
Saw your portfolio on the Nominated author's list, so I'm here to drop you a little review.
Humble Comments:
Enjoyed reading this. It is interesting. I like the font and color change. The lyrical word choices are nice too and I like the pop references as well. My favorite part is the first two stanzas - I like that misty romantic imagery.
Happy writing,
Jen
** Image ID #1549495 Unavailable **
Noticed your portfolio on the Nominated author's list, so I'm here to drop you a little review.
Humble Comments:
What a fun read this was. I liked the creative way you incorporated the prompt phrases - it was seamless. My favorite part was the whole umbrella scene. I've so been there.
Thanks for the laugh and the good read.
Happy writing,
Jen
** Image ID #1549495 Unavailable **
Noticed your portfolio on the Nominated author's list, so I'm here to offer a review.
Humble Comments:
The title drew me in to read and the interesting situation kept me reading to the end. I thought it was funny and held a pretty good moral - never trust vixen, especially if you're a tortoise.
Thanks for the nice read.
Happy writing,
Jen
** Image ID #1549495 Unavailable **
Saw your portfolio on the Nominated author's list for today's festivities, so I'm here offering a review.
First Impressions/Humble Comments:
Great tone, word choices, ideas. I'd be hard pressed to pick a favorite line, but I think I'm leaning towards the last one. I like the way that one resonates with me.
Thanks for a great read.
Happy writing,
Jen
** Image ID #1549495 Unavailable **
Saw you on the Nominated author's list, so I'm here to drop you a nice little review.
First Impressions:
Short, Sweet... interesting. I sure do enjoy reading flash fiction.
Humble Comments:
I like the creativity expressed here. I never thought about what would happen once one of those things got "full" or even if they could get full. But, the story is engaging and imaginative. Perhaps that last sentence could use a little tweaking, but overall, I very much liked this piece. Thanks for a great read.
Happy writing,
Jen
** Image ID #1549495 Unavailable **
You're on the Nominated author's list, so I'm here to see what the buzz's about.
First Impressions:
Ah, yep. I identify with the ideas and like the way this flows.
Humble Comments:
Seventh line - "since" should probably be "sense" unless that's an intentional spelling - could be, with the concepts being presented. I had a hard time choosing a favorite line in this because the first and last stanzas were my favorite. They both are great and I identified.
Thanks for a nice read.
Happy writing,
Jen
** Image ID #1549495 Unavailable **
Wanted to drop in and review a piece while I'm unable to sleep. Think I've reviewed most of your fairy tale stuff and so I thought I'd run on into another folder for a change
First Impressions:
Wow - powerful and perceptive.
Humble Comments:
Enjoyed reading this because of the enjambed lines and the unique delivery of the love poem. I like the hard edge of this. It makes it interesting and poignant and definitely worth reading.
Thanks for yet another great read.
Happy writing,
Jen
** Image ID #1549495 Unavailable **
Saw your portfolio listed on the Nominated author's page, so I'm here to see what the buzz's about.
Humble Comments:
Interesting story. That was a great prompt. I'm surprised it only got two entries - must've been the timing of the contest. Anyway, the ending was a welcome surprise. I hoped it'd be something like that and I loved that I couldn't figure it out before I read it.
Only one thing - I'm thinking the swear words bump this piece up to an 18+ rating, but I'm not sure. May want to check that out, but I did enjoy reading it. I've always had a hard time with arguments - havent been in many, so am not sure how to write them. This is a great example. Thanks for a good read.
Happy writing,
Jen
** Image ID #1549495 Unavailable **
Ok, so I'm not the least bit surprised. This was great. I suspected something like this, but getting to it was great! I love the characters and the ambivalence of the mother character - thanks for a great inspiring read. I can't imagine having an imaginary friend... but I guess that's what all my characters are when I write - imaginary friends.
Saw this piece on the list of sponsored items and it sounded like something I'd like to check out. Glad I did.
First impression:
Ooh - nice form. I've not heard of this one before, but I like the way it looks.
Comments:
Brainy word choices - I like them. I like the images you bring up with them. My favorite stanza is the "broken" one because of the images you've got there. They're so vivid and almost hyper-real.
Overall:
Great piece. I sure did enjoy reading it. Good job.
I stumbled into your portfolio because you're wearing a turtle outfit I stayed because you've got some great stuff in here.
This is a powerful poem. I applaud you for the social work you do. I know that's an emotionally tough occupation... one I'd not survive in, especially if you deal with these kinds of high-risk kids. It's so sad I think I'd just boohoo cry all the time. I'd be no good what-so-ever. I like the way you've written this piece. I like the quick fire words you've used and the phrasing. It helps the emotions be even more powerful. Thanks for a thought provoking piece. I enjoyed reading it.
I like this format you're using here. I'm not sure why you've chosen the title you did, but that's what drew me to the piece in the first place. And since I identified with the teenage crush you speak of, I stuck around to read the whole thing - so good job keeping your reader interested
I noticed many grammatical things - mostly spelling things that would easily be caught by a spell checker and a few others that will have to be fixed manually - but a once over should catch those.
I liked so many points you made but my favorite part is the Desire section and how you lineated it like a poem. With the "normal" paragraphs framing it... well, I think that's why I liked your form so much. It's creative putting all of those narrative bits together, titling them like chapters and then having a poem in the middle of it all. That made it really exciting for me. Good job
Ooh, this one's scary! I like the tone, the fast paced line of action and how I ache to know what "it" is. This bit would be great inserted into a longer piece. It's high adrenaline, perhaps a little too descriptive in parts, but overall, it's very nice prose. I like the way you used sound so well in this - that's one of the things I've always had trouble with.
Good job - keep going on this one - it's got lots of great potential.
This one was a good read too. It deserved to win a place in that contest.
I liked the images, especially liked the way you've used the wooden bench to "frame" the poem. My favorite lies are: The uncertain fate of the forlorn maiden
Whose eyes emitted rays of hope.
There's something beautiful and romantically hazy about this piece. It's my favorite thus far.
The last line of the first stanza seemed a tad awkward with the use of "to wander" instead of leaving out the "to" and just having the narrator say that she "[She] let [her] thoughts wander"
I think I liked reading this one the most. I love tributes to God - He deserves all the praise we can give Him. I like the way this flows and the images and word choices you've included. The last stanza is my favorite, with the third stanza coming in at a close second. Good work.
Thought I'd run on into your port to return those great reviewing favors from yesterday.
You sucked me into this piece with my desire to know who the narrator was so focused upon. When I was younger, this guy was my first "crush" so I can identify with many of the statements you've got in this piece. I enjoyed reading it and I too am glad that he didn't let his accident get in the way of his work.
I was right - I liked reading this. I generally don't read lyrics, but the way you've moulded the story about that well crafted song... well, it was very enjoyable to read and though it shouldn't have, it surprised me. I guess in my "old age" my musical preferences are shifting more than I thought they ever would.
You reviewed two of my pieces and seems like I only reviewed one of yours, so I'm back to return that great favor.
I enjoyed reading this. It develops a mystical quality the further into the story I get. I like mystical Anyway, the somber tone and the great visuals made this a nice read.
Wow, this is an interesting idea. It sounds so wacky. Guess it's a case of reality being stranger than fiction, huh?
Some of your comments reminded me of a movie a friend of mine recommended called "The Island." If you haven't seen it, basically the movie was about rich people cloning themselves so that they could have replacement parts - hearts, lungs, etc. It was an interesting movie, but the implications are a bit scary.
I mean, you're right about the cloning people stuff - Hitler, Napoleon... makes me wonder if those "bad" people were a product of their upbringing or of their genes. Do you think they'd be the the same the second go round? I have a hard time thinking they would be just because I believe a person is a combination of their choices in addition to predisposed genetic things like appearance and parts of one's personality. Anyway, thanks for a thought provoking post.
I love the intro of two more characters. I wish I had the knack of having stories populated with more than just two or four developed characters.
Found a few grammatical things - some comma splices (mostly in the dialogue), one obvious misspelling (They got the buntbrunt of the accident.), but the only thing I was concerned about was the logistics of the scene. I mean, it's strange to have a criminal element so easily convinced that he needs to go to prison. Maybe you could call someone who works as a paralegal and perhaps get some info from them. You'd be surprised how much interesting info you can get from someone who works in that profession. I'd do some research about how the whole lawyer visiting an inmate thing usually goes to check your facts. ((You know, I've called a few places - police stations, hospitals, pawn shops, etc to get details for stories - I've always found people happy to talk about what they do and how it all works.)) Anyway, just suggestions. The story’s definitely interesting as is.
Interesting chapter - one thing I noticed - the accident happened six weeks ago, right? Maybe consider calling a health professional to see how long severe brusing along the rib cage will last and what would make a leg wound still be seeping after that long. Did she have to have surgery on the leg? More than likely, it' wouldn't be still bleeding - it may be in a cast, though. Anyway, those two details in the first chapter are vivid and interesting, but I'm thinking you may need to check to see if they're logical.
Happy writing,
Jen
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/justturtle/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/3
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.29 seconds at 10:47pm on May 19, 2024 via server web2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
