Hi
Since you asked for a critique, here I am with bells on.
Um, alright, I enjoyed this poem for the most part. It's creative and the majority of the lines are clear enough. There were a few lines that were not so clear, but with a few more editing passes those kinks can be smoothed with relative ease. If you ask, I'll point them all out later, but I think you can find them.
I'm not really into end rhyme patterning in my own stuff cause often times I get stuck in my attempt to find a rhyming word to go on the end and the line ends up sounding wrong/forced. There are a precious few I've run into who seem able to use the rhyme to their advantage... invisibleinkbutt_ugly_toad are two persons who are great at that... maybe look at some of their work - it will help inform your rhyme scheme a bit more. (Besides, reading things that are in the same genre and form as yours will help you grow.) The lines that I mentioned above that were not clear fall into this category, I think, because those lines seem forced and dont flow as well as others.
Your lineation is alright, considering the rhyme scheme you are working with... But to be perfectly honest, I think I'd like to see this poem be longer or go more into the narrative aspect of the piece. Make it even more personal, have a first person narrator or some other thing that will make the poem stand out and call to the reader. There are billions of love poems out there, so you have to ask yourself how yours is different or more importantly, how you will make yours different.
Ok, let me pick a little on your first stanza for a moment:
 I saw in your beauty, spreading like night,
I dreamt of our meeting, in the day's setting light.
Remember that moment, when you left the plane,
Desire loves glance, bearing no shame.
Tender moments approaching, seen in your eyes,
A comet in glory, through clear starry skies;
 Ok, so... I love the first two lines. They are near perfect. I haven't the foggiest idea what 'desire loves glance' means in this context and since you've poeticized things, why not do the same for 'plane'... say it's a vulture come to take your love away or a mercy flight of... I donno, something other than just 'plane'. I very much like the last line. The second to last line... seems a bit awkward, like the one above it. Here's how I'd work on the piece.
I saw your beauty
spreading like the dark dress of night.
I dreamt of our meeting
in the day's setting light.
Remembering that moment
when I left the plane
Desiring love's glance
and bearing no shame.
Tender moments fill my mind
as I saw emotion in your eyes
like a comet in glory
through clear starry skies;
Um, I'm almost certain that I got the action wrong in my edit. I'm just not clear on the action because although there are beautiful lines and phrases, I'm not sure what they're connected to. For instance, the last two lines of your first stanza... I love that last line, and think I know what you mean by 'tender moments approaching' but I dont see how the two ideas connect very well. It needs to be a little more obvious in its meaning. I assure you that if you make it a little more clear, it wont lose its artistry. Vague doesnt always mean cerebral or brilliant or anything of the sort, sometimes it's just vague. *laugh*  I struggle with that quite often myself, cause I dont want to spell out everything, I want my reader to think and draw conclusions... but what I've learned is that I need to set up the scene enough so that they can.
Well, overall, I think this piece is nice and relatively solid, however with a little work it could really glow. So, I challenge you to put in the effort and send it out for publication somewhere. I know you have the talent, so go for it.
happy writing,
Jen
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I think I just succeeded in confusing myself. Um, let me give you a for instance. The last line of the first stanza is one that seemed to break the meter for me. I think it was the use of 'that's' that did it to me. Another line that was dissonate was the last line of the fourth stanza. I'm not sure what to suggest for those if that dissonance was somehting you planned to further the ideas presented in this piece.