As part of your winnings, you are receiving the Hemingway Fan Package! The package includes a total of 9 reviews from our FAN - ATIC gifters! I'm thrilled you were chosen for this honor
Review of
Adriana A to Z! (13+) Adriana A to Z is a brief look at my writing partner. Written for the Angel Buddy Contest. #1490094 by Mara ♣ McBain
What a unique dedication and tribute to the author's best friend! This is way too cool!!
MY FAVORITE PART
S ~ Snarky…and yes people it is a word. LOL Even good ol’ Merriam-Webster has finally recognized it. It should have a picture of Adriana.
1 : CROTCHETY , SNAPPISH
2 : sarcastic, impertinent, or irreverent in tone or manner <snarky lyrics>
— snark•i•ly \-kə-lē\ adverb
SUGGESTIONS
I can't think of one single thing to offer as a suggestion for improvement.
OVERALL IMPRESSION
I am genuinely jealous!! This is a brilliant and very creative way to pay tribute to a person who has touched your life in so many ways. This definitely puts an Acrostic to shame and I may have to "borrow" this idea from you and write my own tributes to a few friends. I thank you for giving us all the opportunity to get to know Adriana through your awesome, lettered descriptions! I bet she was thrilled and not at all snarky when she viewed it! This was a real pleasure to read. Thank you so much for sharing it with us all!!
As part of your winnings, you are receiving the Hemingway Fan Package! The package includes a total of 9 reviews from our FAN - ATIC gifters! I'm thrilled you were chosen for this honor
Review of
STATIC
Snow Angels (E) A mother remembers the joy of children playing~A sestina poem 12/09 Quotation Inspiration #1627458 by Mara ♣ McBain
Quite an impressive piece that depicts the fun that can be had in the wintery snow!
MY FAVORITE PART
The dog bounds in taking the youngest to the ground.
The laughter is cheerful and bright;
as the two roll in the snow
full of energy and play.
SUGGESTIONS
Had I observed any errors or breaks in flow, I would mention them here. But, since this piece is perfect, I have no suggestions to offer!
OVERALL IMPRESSION
Being a native Texan, I am not accustomed to such fun. However, you successfully took me right there, right to the action packed enjoyment of kids, dogs and even adults romping in the glistening snow. I have had the pleasure a few times of delighting in this type of wintery fun, however those times were few and far between and quite long ago. It has been many, many years since I have had an opportunity to create a snow angel. Thank you for allowing me to venture there in my fondest of memories. This is a beautiful piece that can be loved by many readers of all ages!
Hello 🌕 HuntersMoon. After reading "The Ouija" , I would like to offer you your first review of five for your win in the Forever Christmas Auction. Please accept what is helpful and disregard anything that is not.
This is a spectacular read for anyone in the United States who has fallen victim to the cruel and inhumane current state of the economy.
MY FAVORITE PART
Creaking noises from the market,
as prices sag like Spanish moss,
SUGGESTIONS
Again, no suggestion for improvement!
OVERALL IMPRESSION
I love your style, your humor, your out of this world poetic talent. You have taken me on so many different journeys, from sad to comical, from enlightening to inspiring. I honestly don't know which poetic genre best suits your skill; you have mastered them all! Thank you so much for sharing this great twist on the Monsters of 2009! This is priceless and I will be sharing it with my mother who will love it as much as I do!
Hello 🌕 HuntersMoon. After reading "Allure" , I would like to offer you your second review of seven from your win in the Wishes Upon A Star Auction. Please accept what is helpful and disregard anything that is not.
Oh my goodness!! This is not what I was expecting as I was reading this sweet and seductive piece!
MY FAVORITE PART
The soft welcoming feel of your breasts,
as they find freedom from cloying restriction,
start the fires that will soon consume us
as we give in to pleasure's addiction.
SUGGESTIONS
I try so hard, but always in vain, to find some type of constructive criticism to offer you. As with every other review of your poetry, I have nothing to suggest for improvement!
OVERALL IMPRESSION
Well, you got me on this one! You had me all worked up, feeling the heat of lustful desire, just to... well, you know! I don't want to ruin the surprise for future readers! I am still sitting here with a silly looking grin on my face, totally shocked by the ending! Thank you for adding another chuckle to my day and for providing me with awesome reading material!
Hello very thankful. After reading "Come Back To Me" , I would like to offer you your final review of nine. I do hope you enjoyed receiving these reviews as much as I enjoyed offering them. Please accept what is helpful and disregard anything that is not.
An endearing piece that left me wanting more of the feeling that the character experienced!
MY FAVORITE PART
The man kissed and touched me
I kissed and touched him back.
SUGGESTIONS
I was lying here in a bed with satin sheets
and all alone in here. The second instance of "here" seemed a bit redundant to me.
OVERALL IMPRESSION
I am sure this certain experience is one that most, if not all, readers can relate to - at least in the aspect of wanting more. I do wish this piece were a bit longer, but the message was still loud and clear. Thank you for sharing this with us!!
Hello very thankful. After reading "The Island" , I would like to offer you your eighth review of nine. Please accept what is helpful and disregard anything that is not.
Review of
The Island (13+) This poem was published in Bell's Letters Poet in Oct/Nov 2008 issue. #1628387 by very thankful
A short piece containing a strong message of understanding differences between humans.
MY FAVORITE PART
People cannot stand anything different or unknown.
SUGGESTIONS
Normal people gave birth to them so what happened. Should this end with a question mark rather than a period since it is, in fact, a question?
OVERALL IMPRESSION
I appreciate the message in this piece very much. It is so true that we, as humans, many times fail to understand and accept the differences of those around us. These differences come from a myriad of directions and are not limited to birth defects or deformities, but even extend to our personal opinions and beliefs. If we could ever completely agree to disagree, and realize that "we", ourselves, are actually different, then all would be so much better!
Hello very thankful. After reading "Land of the Dogs" , I would like to offer you your seventh review of nine. Please accept what is helpful and disregard anything that is not.
Review of
Land of the Dogs (E) This poem was published in Bell's Poet Letters in the March/April 2009 issue. #1628391 by very thankful
A very inspiring piece that tells us to look towards the behavior and lifestyle of the canine species for guidance in how to live our lives as humans.
MY FAVORITE PART
if only humans could live in harmony like this.
SUGGESTIONS
I don't have any suggestions to offer.
OVERALL IMPRESSION
Although I disagree with a couple of the statements here; i.e. that "Greed is never an issue since dogs always share" (I have witnessed plenty of times where dogs were very selfish with their toys and/or food), I love the idea behind the message. I am all for peace and harmony, at all times, amongst us all. This is a very good thought provoking piece and I am very glad you shared it with us all!
Hello very thankful. After reading "Saving Myself" , I would like to offer you your sixth review of nine. Please accept what is helpful and disregard anything that is not.
A piece that contains a blend of emotions that touched my heart deeply.
MY FAVORITE PART
Maybe hope will unlock the door.
SUGGESTIONS
I truly don't have any suggestions to offer for improvement.
OVERALL IMPRESSION
While the act of cutting one's self is not something I can personally relate to, the subject of suicide is. Over the course of the 39 years I have spent on this earth, I have considered the option multiple times; however, not in many years now. I suppose all of the suicides that have surrounded my existence over the past 15 years gave me a different perspective on the ultimate and premature end to life. Thank you for sharing this published poem with us all!
Along with your nomination, you are also receiving the Edgar Allan Poe Fan Package! The package includes a total of 9 reviews from our FAN - ATIC gifters ! I'm thrilled you were chosen for this honor
Review of
Ingenuous (E) A poem: A name can potentially influence a child's development... #1570629 by George R. Lasher
Another hysterical piece that offered me an opportunity to add a new word to my vocabulary!
MY FAVORITE PART
When through with the boys,
I chased all the girls.
I yanked on their pigtails
and pulled on their curls.
SUGGESTIONS
A “gift” from my Mother, I would change "Mother" to lowercase since it is being used as a noun rather than a proper noun.
OVERALL IMPRESSION
I absolutely love your sense of humor! And your ability to tell a story through a perfect rhythm and rhyme is incredible! I am a bit surprised that I have never heard the word "salacious", but am glad to have been introduced to it and in such a comical manner. I have thoroughly enjoyed visiting this particular folder and hope that you have many plans of adding more to it soon. I will be checking back often for new songs/poetry!
Along with your nomination, you are also receiving the Edgar Allan Poe Fan Package! The package includes a total of 9 reviews from our FAN - ATIC gifters ! I'm thrilled you were chosen for this honor
This is way too funny! Especially "a big fat giraffe"!! How many fat giraffe's are out running loose? Way too funny!
MY FAVORITE PART
Gawk all you want, but be kind and don't laugh.
I can't help that I look like a big, fat giraffe.
SUGGESTIONS
I have not one suggestion to offer!
OVERALL IMPRESSION
This is a hysterical little "ditty" that still has me grinning from ear to ear! I love the cowboy/western theme it has; being a Native Texan, I have to appreciate that! I grinned all the way through, but was really impressed with the last line!! The rhythm and the rhyme are both spectacular throughout and I thank you for such an entertaining little read! Please do keep up the awesome work!
Along with your nomination, you are also receiving the Edgar Allan Poe Fan Package! The package includes a total of 9 reviews from our FAN - ATIC gifters ! I'm thrilled you were chosen for this honor
A marvelous poetic story that reveals the magical entering of Heaven!
MY FAVORITE PART
The old man stepped over the threshold
Standing tall and bent no more;
He had received a new body
When he opened Heaven's front door.
SUGGESTIONS
I have no suggestions to offer this already perfect piece!!
OVERALL IMPRESSION
I simply love the manner in which you delivered this message. When I first began reading, I envisioned a castle with a king being the master, but not the Heavenly castle that soon appeared before my eyes as I kept reading. I very much enjoyed the "surprise" when I realized the master in this story was the Heavenly Father! The imagery included within the words is illuminating and pleasant. Thank you for yet another very enjoyable read!!
Along with your nomination, you are also receiving the Edgar Allan Poe Fan Package! The package includes a total of 9 reviews from our FAN - ATIC gifters ! I'm thrilled you were chosen for this honor
A splendid message that urges us all to eliminate the negative contraction "can't" from our vocabulary!!
MY FAVORITE PART
I'm tired of hearing can't
Day after endless day.
I want to try it out,
Tell can't to go away!
SUGGESTIONS
I fully realize the freedom a poet has in terms of grammar and punctuation in his/her piece of art. But, if I may, I would like to suggest changing the relevant capital letters on every first line. If the line continues from the previous one, I would make it lowercase. Please understand that this is just a particular "like" for me when reading poetry as it helps me with the smooth flow of the message being delivered.
OVERALL IMPRESSION
The message contained within this piece is brilliant. As a child growing up, my step-father used to always tell me, "Can't never could." Although I regretfully and ashamedly make use of the word, I would do so much better without it. I have tried to eliminate words of the same likeness; i.e. never, no, not, don't, won't, etc... It is a bit difficult, especially after using them for so long, but it IS possible and it DOES work in generating much more positive vibes, not only for the person speaking, but for all the people listening. Removing such words also enhances a person's vocabulary and encourages the brain to seek out much more appropriate terms. You rock for putting this out there for us!! Thank you so much for offering this work of art for all of our reading pleasure!!
Along with your nomination, you are also receiving the Edgar Allan Poe Fan Package! The package includes a total of 9 reviews from our FAN - ATIC gifters ! I'm thrilled you were chosen for this honor
What a cute and precious rhyming short story from the perspective of a cat!
MY FAVORITE PART
I don't understand why she feels the need to screech like a wart-nosed, ugly, old witch. Most of the time they're already dead, although, once in a while they twitch.
SUGGESTIONS
She calls the tall human to take my trophies away. Although this line/sentence is necessary information for the reader, it has no line that rhymes with it. This threw me off a bit.
She's picked me up and placed on her lap. Consider inserting "me" directly after "placed".
OVERALL IMPRESSION
I can never get enough of poetry or stories that are written from the voice of an animal! Readers of all ages can certainly appreciate the lighthearted message that is delivered from a pet's point of view. Again, thank you for sharing your talent with us all!
Along with your nomination, you are also receiving the Edgar Allan Poe Fan Package! The package includes a total of 9 reviews from our FAN - ATIC gifters ! I'm thrilled you were chosen for this honor
A clever piece that tells a short, poetic story about the character discovering serenity.
MY FAVORITE PART
The darkness of the woods was
Like the darkness of my wrath.
SUGGESTIONS
Consider selecting an appropriate "Item Genre" for this piece besides the default "Other". I believe it would attract more readers if it were to be listed as "Experience" or anything more relevant.
OVERALL IMPRESSION
I have been on my own personal search for serenity for decades. I am finally closing in on it and couldn't be happier! We all have to discover that inner peace in our own way, whether it be from within the dense woods, on the city streets, or just in our heart. I appreciated the way that "Serenity" presented itself to the character after a brief run from the unknown. Thank you for sharing this talent of yours with us all!
Hello 🌕 HuntersMoon. After reading "Sky Flowers" , I would like to offer you your first review of seven on behalf of the "Invalid Item" . Please accept what is helpful and disregard anything that is not.
A breathtaking piece that delivers the beauty and awe of a sky filled with colorful hot air balloons!
MY FAVORITE PART
in hues floating across the skies.
An amazing bouquet, in a new guise,
SUGGESTIONS
Well, of course, I have no suggestion for improvement!
OVERALL IMPRESSION
I am ALWAYS taken aback by your poetic talent! No matter the subject, you deliver a message in such poise and style. Any reader, of any taste, cannot deny your ability to entertain. I find it almost silly to encourage you to keep up with the great writing, for I doubt you will ever stop; it's in your bones to stay, thank goodness!!! Thank you so much for sharing this with us all!
Hello jaya. After reading "Crying because of you" , I would like to offer you your third review of nine on behalf of the "Invalid Item" . Please accept what is helpful and disregard anything that is not.
A very powerful piece that tells all about "self inflicted misery" in regards to mistakes made in a relationship.
MY FAVORITE PART
There cannot be a darker power
than jealousy born of doubt.
Oh! Merciful God in Heaven,
on my knees I prithee, atone my sin.
SUGGESTIONS
Again, I have no suggestions to offer for this very well written poem!!
OVERALL IMPRESSION
I want to take this opportunity to add that the verse above was only one of my favorites. The last one was actually my fave, but I did not want to "blast" it here and ruin it for future readers. It was powerful and unexpected, providing hope that the first part of the piece took away. Excellent job at invoking multiple emotions in me while I read!! Thank you for sharing this awesome piece.
Hello very thankful. After reading "Holiday Catering Inc." , I would like to offer you your fifth review of nine on behalf of the "Invalid Item" . Please accept what is helpful and disregard anything that is not.
What a fascinating and unique concept this is!! My mother is going to love it!
MY FAVORITE PART
The whole thing! Especially the uniqueness of the idea! I never, in eleven million years, would have thought of something so wonderful!
SUGGESTIONS
I have no suggestions to offer. There are no typo's or grammatical errors anywhere on the page that I noticed!
OVERALL IMPRESSION
This has to be the only offering of the such on the entire site! I envy the fact that you came up with such a brilliant idea. As I mentioned earlier, my mother is going to love this. She has been gathering all kinds of cooking magazines for the holidays and I can't wait to share this with her tomorrow. I will also be spreading the word to all my WDC friends who are in need of something special for the holidays! I will definitely be placing an order myself within the next couple of days! Thank you for sharing this with us! AND... thank you so much for including the 4-A Society as one of the groups to benefit from the funds raised!! You are way too awesome!
Hello very thankful. After reading "Fairy cNotes" , I would like to offer you your fourth review of nine on behalf of the "Invalid Item" . Please accept what is helpful and disregard anything that is not.
Review of
Fairy cNotes (E) This cNote shop will benefit Wishes Upon a Star and the rest will go toward my membership. #1624193 by very thankful
A cNote shop full of beautiful fairies backed with heartfelt sentiments that will benefit an awesome and giving group: "Invalid Item"
MY FAVORITE PART
cNotes 1 - 9!!! They are all so sparkly and inviting!
SUGGESTIONS
My only suggestion would be to add one more so you would have a full shop, and so I would have more beauty to choose from!
OVERALL IMPRESSION
I am definitely putting this shop in my fave folder so I may access it all the time. I love sending cNotes, especially when they are as spectacular as these are! Thank you for offering us a place to get affordable greetings for our friends and WDC family!!
As part of your winnings, you are receiving the H.G. Wells Fan Package! The package includes a total of 9 reviews from our FAN - ATIC gifters! I'm thrilled you were chosen for this honor
Chapter Three, in this sci fi series is more riveting than the first two! I love the ending of this particular chapter. It leaves the reader wanting to progress forward through the story immediately!
MY FAVORITE PART
sort of like trying to take salt off of mashed potatoes.
SUGGESTIONS
It wasn’t arrogance. It just had never happened before. Consider combining these two short sentences together by using a semicolon between them.
The thieves felt no guilt at their actions. I think this would read a tad better if you used "for" instead of "at" their actions.
OVERALL IMPRESSION
Here we are at Chapter Three and I am still intrigued by the plot. There is no telling where Chapter Four will take me. I really like the twist that was thrown in by the pandemic and how the citizens of San Francisco are going about handling their fear of the unknown. I am on my way to Chapter Four right now! Thank you for sharing this story with us all!!
As part of your winnings, you are receiving the H.G. Wells Fan Package! The package includes a total of 9 reviews from our FAN - ATIC gifters! I'm thrilled you were chosen for this honor
Chapter Two of The Memory Thieves: the plot is growing and has my interest peaked!
MY FAVORITE PART
Sadie sat down and scratched at something she couldn’t quite reach. That always seemed to be the case. Maybe she could get her boy, Bobby to do it for her. Her nose located him somewhere outside. She exited the house through the dog door and headed around to the backyard.
SUGGESTIONS
It drank deeply for it had been a long time between meals. Consider placing a comma after "deeply".
OVERALL IMPRESSION
Again, I can't wait to get to Chapter Three! I am enjoying the buildup of this story and may turn into a sci fi fan before I am finished reading! Great job in re-introducing me to a genre I have neglected for years!!
As part of your winnings, you are receiving the H.G. Wells Fan Package! The package includes a total of 9 reviews from our FAN - ATIC gifters! I'm thrilled you were chosen for this honor
A sci-fi short story built around two required prompts: Mention the season fall; something has to be born. Both were done perfectly, which gave rise to an interesting plot.
MY FAVORITE PART
Something strange rode across the universe. Its vessel was small and fast, riding on a beam of light. Massless and without form, it searched through the boundless playground of time, stars and gravity wells in search of one thing; to satisfy its curiosity.
SUGGESTIONS
in search of one thing; to satisfy its curiosity. I could be wrong, as I realize there are more uses for the semicolon than just one, but I think a colon is more justified in this case.
It knew not joy or fear. I think this would read better if it were to be: "It knew neither joy nor fear." Just a suggestion.
Now, it focused on a small planet In the paragraph that preceded this sentence, "it" was referred to as a proper noun, being capitalized each time. However, this time it is not.
There was to comet tail or splashdown. I think "to" is supposed to be "no".
nothing out of the ordinary for a early fall morning. Should be "an" early fall morning.
OVERALL IMPRESSION
I must admit that I am not a huge fan of science fiction; however, I did always love how Ray Bradbury could take me on some fascinating journeys when I was younger with his short stories. I notice that this is Chapter One and am actually eager to continue reading about the explorations of the memory thieves. You have caused me to develop a different type of fear of mosquitoes than I previously had! Good job in bringing it to life for me, the reader. I will be back for more!!
Hello dejavu_BIG computerprobs. After reading "Pumpkins And Long Johns" , I would like to offer you your first of three reviews a week for three weeks that was gifted you by jaya on behalf of the "Invalid Item" . Please accept what is helpful and disregard anything that is not.
A funny and delightful story of a couple who had been married for many years, bickering over silly things! This brought a huge smile to my face!!
MY FAVORITE PART
“I warned you I would if you refused to wear your glasses when you rode it,” Mary replied tartly.” I’m going to cook that pumpkin too.”
SUGGESTIONS
rosy cheeks and thick white hair, negated his imposing size. I am not 100% certain, but don't think the comma after "hair" is necessary.
I, being a Doctor of sublime conscientiousness to my work was determined to set their problems right. Consider changing "Doctor" to lower case since it is being used here as a noun rather than a proper noun. Also, I would insert a comma after "work".
“The Grandchildren love my baking ”She explained.”Dr.Fox, The end quotation mark needs to be backed up one space with a comma after "baking" and before the end quotation. Also, "She" should not be capitalized. There needs to be a space between the period after "explained" and the beginning quotation mark before "Dr." as well as a space after the period and before "Fox".
“Now Mary,” I spoke.” In my opinion Joe does not mean to disparage you in front of your Grandchildren.” There should be a comma after "Now". Another one should be placed after "opinion" and "Grandchildren" should be lowercase.
He’s the most obstinate "He's" should be lowercase.
but winnings not the only reason "winnings" should be "winning's" since it is being used as a contraction for "winning is"
I struggled to maintain my professional countenance There should be a period at the end of this sentence.
OVERALL IMPRESSION
Please don't be overwhelmed with the number of suggestions I have made. They are all tiny in nature, but will improve the readability of this piece tremendously. The plot of the story is great and the ending is phenomenal!! You have a great talent with the use of dialogue and I hope to have learned a bit from you in regards to it. I am terrible with dialogue in a story, which is strange since I am so talkative! Thank you for sharing this with us all and keep up the great, entertaining work!
Hi! My name is Kristi and I will be judging "Give & Take" for ~A BROKEN HEART POETRY CONTEST~
THE POEM
A poetic story that conveys a message of a broken relationship. I believe this piece follows the required prompt of "Pieces of Me" in a unique and obscure manner.
RHYTHM/RHYME
I enjoyed both the rhythm and the rhyme; each complements each other very nicely making for a pleasant reading experience.
SPELLING/GRAMMAR
I did not notice any errors in spelling or grammar! Great Job!
WHAT I LIKED
Well, I like the whole "give and take" aspect of this write. I think it was a nice twist to the normal tone in a piece speaking of a broken heart.
FAVORITE PART
You keep all yours,
but take all mine.
IMPROVEMENTS
I don't have any suggestions to offer for improvement.
Thank you for entering your poem in the contest. I wish you the very best of luck!!
Hi! My name is Kristi and I will be judging "Portray Me As I Am" for ~A BROKEN HEART POETRY CONTEST~
THE POEM
Quite an enjoyable read that depicts a broken heart and followed, in a hidden manner, the required prompt of "Pieces of Me" very nicely!
RHYTHM/RHYME
I simply LOVE the rhythm! Each line flowed into the next perfectly. The rhyme scheme of abcc worked great for me, the reader!
SPELLING/GRAMMAR
There were no errors in either spelling or grammar! BRAVO!!! That goes a long way with me!
WHAT I LIKED
I like the complexity of this piece; it is far from simplistic, which adds so much power to the message.
FAVORITE PART
Portray me when all is consumed—
By fire’s bright heat that enraptures, enchants, and enthralls
All the rage you wished I would conceive
All the mania you hoped you could achieve
IMPROVEMENTS
I have no suggestions for improvement of this written masterpiece!
Thank you for entering your poem in the contest. I wish you the very best of luck!!
Hi! My name is Kristi and I will be judging "Somber Succor" for ~A BROKEN HEART POETRY CONTEST~
THE POEM
This contest entry blew me away! I swear I was reading about myself. Although hidden in other words, this piece follows the required prompt of "Pieces of Me" perfectly. Great job!!
RHYTHM/RHYME
Both the rhythm and the rhyme worked together to make this a compelling melody to read!
SPELLING/GRAMMAR
The spelling was perfect, as was the grammar! No mistakes or typos noted whatsoever!! Bravo!!
WHAT I LIKED
I really liked reading about "me"! I know that may sound crazy, but I have tried so hard to put these exact thoughts to proper words many times and have always seemed to come up short.
FAVORITE PART
I will trade my happiness, that others may succeed.
I will go without, so that others may never need.
IMPROVEMENTS
I don't have one single suggestion for improvement. This is a fabulous piece that I would like to highlight on my web page (with proper permission first, of course)!
Thank you for entering your poem in the contest. I wish you the very best of luck!!
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I'm thrilled you were chosen for this honor 
I can't think of one single thing to offer as a suggestion for improvement.
This is a brilliant and very creative way to pay tribute to a person who has touched your life in so many ways. This definitely puts an Acrostic to shame and I may have to "borrow" this idea from you and write my own tributes to a few friends. I thank you for giving us all the opportunity to get to know Adriana through your awesome, lettered descriptions! I bet she was thrilled and not at all snarky when she viewed it! This was a real pleasure to read. Thank you so much for sharing it with us all!! 
Consider inserting "me" directly after "placed".
In the paragraph that preceded this sentence, "it" was referred to as a proper noun, being capitalized each time. However, this time it is not. 