This poem is not only alot of fun, it teaches a good lesson to the child who reads it. The poem flows well and moves along nicely. The rhythm is easy to settle into. I think that some commas are needed and my other suggestion is that the line "From Dinks who would surely say, 'Bless you', because that's what they did do" is abit akward. Maybe that could be changed abit. Otherwise, good read and another good offering. Lin
I laughed at the end of this poem. I like the use of orange and black for the poems layout. The conversation is witty and fun. The author has a wonderful handle on what pleases a child. Good visuals are created with the carefully chosen words. The rhythm is easy to settle into. The poem flows well. A good addition to the Dinkerville series. Lin
I laughed out loud reading this poem. If it made me laugh, it will certainly amuse a child. Once again the author has been very creative with the story and her charecter. You create a good visual while reading this. The dance is something that children can actually participate in. My only suggestion again, is one of more punctuation. I am sure that the author is going to be tired of me saying that. I urge people to stop and have a look at this poem. Lin
I think that the Dinkerville series is a good creation. There are lots of silly words and rhythming fun for children and adults. This flows pretty well and moves along nicely. I wonder if the author has thought of making a Dinkerville dictionary or Dinkerville drawings to accompany these witty offerings. The only suggestion I have is more punctuation. The children reading these poems are learning about grammer and punctuation even as they enjoy them. Otherwise, I think this is good writing. Lin
I think that this poem will really appeal to a child. It is abit silly and they love that. The poem flows well and moves right along. The rhythm is easy to understand and settle into. I liked the repetition of "Hello, is anybody out there." I think there should be a comma after hello. Good poem Lin
This was a very good poem in the style of a Dr. Suess. I throughly enjoyed reading this. The author is very creative. The poem flows well and moves along rapidly. The rhythme is easy to fall into. The charecters are great. My only suggestion is that the author go back and use some punctuation. You need some commas at least. Otherwise, good writing. Lin
The content of this poem is good. The theme is finding true love. It is actually almost a whole romance novel. Boy meets girl, boy loses girl, both have regrets. The poem actually flows well and moves along rapidly. I have some suggestion, please keep in mind that I am no expert at poetry.
In your intro, you need to correct the spelling of please.
There is no punctuation in this poem and because it is so long, I really feel that it needs some. Especially since it is not broken into stanzas.
You need to type out the word "and" and not use "&".
Otherwise, I liked this peom and hope tht yo will do some editing and make it shine. Keep writing. Lin
This is a wonderful picture. The artist has done a good job of giving indivduality and personality to each child in the drawing. Tehre is a good use of color. From my perspective the artist also has a good sense of humor. The artist takes us into their world. It also looks like a multi-medium drawing. Thanks for sharing this. I often find I like a child's drawing or painting more than the professionals. Lin
This guestbook sign-in is a wonderful idea. It is also fun to see the messages left by other authors and visitors who came before me. It gives the author a good idea of who is enjoying her port and hoepfully why they are enjoying it. I must consider doing this myself. Stop in and see what is on offer. Lin
This was a good child's rhythm and I could easily see a child reciting this to him or herself as they played. It flows well and moves right along. The repetition and rhyme pattern would make it very easy for a child to memorize. I saw no errors. This was good writing. Lin
This poem flowed well and moved right along. Even as an adult I still love to blow bubbles {only now it is considered rude} so I enjoyed this poem. The rhythm scheme is easy to settle into and I think children would love this poem. The only thing missing to make it perfect is when it explodes in your face. I have no favorite line because they all fit so nicely. Good description that creates clear images. Lin
Oops! I think that my age might be showing. I think that the poll results were interesting. I wonder if maybe the poll should have had more choices as so many people voted for "none of the above." I am very surprized that "Old Yeller" was at the bottom. I can understand how "Bambi" came in second though. Lin
This was a very good story about a nice Goldfish named Goldie. She gets to go live in a great new place and many of her old friends are there. The story flows well and moves right along. The description of Goldie is good and we enjoy reading about how she plays with her friends. This is a story that will be liked by adults and children. Good writing. I did not see any errors. Lin
This was a very good poem about one of my favorite things - Jellybeans. Oops I just rhymed. This poem flowed fairly well and moved right along. I enjoyed reaing about all the different things you can do with jellybeans and I know that children will too. The use of color in the poem is a good idea. I loved the idea of emailing Jellybean. Good writing. Lin
The author has done a good job in this second chapter of "Nobody's Place" fleshing out soem of the charecters. We learn more about Bo and Chrystal is introduced. Most of the errors were those of grammer or punctuation. I will point out a few and then suggest the author go back line-for-line to be sure he has them all.
"...back in his day Bo was...still bouncing after coming back to Albany, he hired him..."
"Joe c:red}found himself looking up to..."
"She really was something,but..."
This is a good story and the editing will help it to shine. Lin
The author paints wonderful images with their words. I could see this unfolding in my mind. There are good word choices and the poem flowed well and moved right along. I think tath the third stanza was my favorite but it was hard to chose as I really enjoyed the whole poem. Good writing. I saw no errors. Lin
This poem has a hard impact at the end. In a few short stanzas the author tells us a story that touches your emotions. I had an easy time visualizing
Verona. The poem flowed well and I settled easily into my reading. The last stanza was my favorite especially the image created by "as she flexs her wing nubs." Good wrod choices. Lin
This was an interesting story involving several cats.
The story flowed pretty well and moved along rapidly. I enjoyed the descriptions of the cats. "Jumpy" was heartbreaking because there really is little you can do for a cat gone feral. I liked the "Cat Lady", bless her soul. The sentence that begins: More than once..." I think this this could be broken up into more than one sentence.
"More than once during our vacation I had thought about Tigger and wondered if he was lonely. Then I rationialized that he was doing just fine by himself. Tigger often figured out a way to be solitary, even when we were around." I also changed a few words here. These are suggestions. I bow to the author. Good story. Lin
I would love to see this story continued. I found it captured my attention right from the start and my attention never wandered. The charecters were fleshed out. You created good tension and left me wondering what was going to happen next. Your description is good. The dialogue was easy to believe and flowed smoothly. We are huge Eddings fans in this house and I know that my husband and daughter would be caught up in this as well. Good writing. I saw nothing to correct. A great deal of effort has gone into the two offerings I just read by this author. It is clear that he cares deeply about his work. Keep going! Lin
I thought that this was very good. You have captured the part about being a twin that we seldom hear about. I felt the anquish that this person felt and as I read I was so grateful that I was not a twin. I loved that you said that Daryl was a the image of his father but the main charecter was only a copy of a copy. This flowed well and moved right along. I saw no spelling or grammer errors. My only suggestion is that we find out the main charecter's name. He can say it or Daryl can say it or Ellie can say it. Just so long as it is there. Otherwise, good writing. Lin
This was an excellant read. It is the author's personal experience but it can touch us all if we let it. So many people today profess to believe in nothing. That nothing creates a huge void. The older I get the more I need the peace and serenity that comes from believing. No matter what your religion, believe in it and practice it and you will will find peace. I hope that the person taht received this letter found their peace, or at least a way to achieve it. This was well written and I am gla that the author shared it with us. Lin
I liked this poem. It creates a good visual. The poem flowed well and moved right along. I do not know a great deal about form but I liked the presentation. I saw no errors of spelling. The author chose not to use puctuation. I liked the theme. It might me want to join in. Good writing. Lin
This was a good poem that lives up to it's title. The poem flows well and moves right along. The author seems to have caught the essence of impending death when someone is very ill. The loss of all that was and all that would have been and the holding on for the moment. There is also an underlying tone of respect and admiration. I saw no errors. Good writing. Lin
This was an excellant story with a whole twist on who is prey. The story flows well and moves right along. The dialogue is good and easy to believe. The charecters are well fleshed out and the settings are well drawn without being too wordy. The author creates good tension without giving too much away too early. The dialogue helps to push the story forward. I never felt the story bog down anywhere. I saw no errors but I was pretty caught up im my reading. Well done! Lin
This ways an emotional poem. You could hear the anguish in the author's words. In a few well chosen words the author has managed to lay bare a life. There is alot of anger, misery and even regret in her words. The poem flows pretty well and moves right along. I did not notice any errors but I am not qualified to comment on form so I will leave tht to others. I do know tht I liked this. Lin
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