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864 Public Reviews Given
1,303 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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276
276
Review by MandiK~ : p
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
A very interesting contest

Rules are spelled out precisely and cleanly. Ability to post directly into the forum should encourage newbies to enter.

Prizes are generous for type of contest.

Addition of images and ML's are fun and eye-catching.

No techinal errors that I can see.


Keep writing!

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Review by MandiK~ : p
Rated: E | (3.5)
An interesting beginning.

You have a good setup here, but have forced a few things. I have quite a few suggestion for you, but don't want to overwhelm you. If you are truely interested in editing this piece of writing, let me know and I can send you the edits.

As for right now-
*As the name of a newspaper, Morning Post should be capitalized.
*remove reference of the brother, you don't need this right now.

As for giving you a break because you are 13, afraid not. You are a writer, your age has no reference to good technique.

Keep writing!
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278
Review by MandiK~ : p
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
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Pirate of The Broken Mast

*Reading* Overall Impression: After working years and years in a retail setting, I know all too well the "retailers" end of these lyrics. As a consumer, I refuse to shop on "Black Friday!"

*Reading* Technical Errors: None that I could see

*Reading* Areas of Improvement: Without knowing the music end of these lyrics, I cannot comment on flow or if they fit in with the melody. If this is written to existing music, maybe you could mention with at the beginning?

*Reading* My Likes and Dislikes: Thought the entire poem was insightful and fun.
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279
Review by MandiK~ : p
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
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Pirate of The Broken Mast

*Reading*Overall Impression: So many questions, but not one answer.

*Reading* Technical Issues: None that I could see

*Reading* Improvements: I like "How Many Times?", but don't have time to read the rest, so rating is not quite accurate for entire book

*Reading* Likes/Dislikes: I liked reading this, just the way it is.

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280
Review by MandiK~ : p
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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Pirate of The Broken Mast

*Reading* Overall Impression: A very indepth look at submission guidelines for alternative writing websites. Writer beware- read EVERYTHING before you submit your works.

*Reading* Technical Errors: I am probably NOT a resonable person,(reasonable)

*Reading* Areas of Improvement: None, you throughly researched every aspect of this article.

*Reading* My Likes and Dislikes: Liked the color changes between email submissions here. Only problem was that your first link is now invalid.
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Review of Gobble! Gobble!  
Review by MandiK~ : p
Rated: E | (3.5)
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Pirate of The Broken Mast

*Reading* Overall Impression: Cute as a child's poem, but lacks substance.

*Reading* Technical Errors: Flow of the poem is choppy.

*Reading* Areas of Improvement: Add description of the feast, and the emotions of the children to "bring them into" the poem.

*Reading* My Likes and Dislikes: Cute poem, but a choppy flow and lack of substance detracts from enjoyability.
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282
Review by MandiK~ : p
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Pirate of The Broken Mast

*Reading* Overall Impression: A very honestly written essay on how and why you review here. Nicely done.

*Reading* Technical Errors: You have a beginning, middle and end, no spelling errors and punctuation follows the writing style. Therefore, no technical errors.

*Reading* Areas of Improvement: You might want to include reference to some actual reviews that you have written to back up your reviewing style.

*Reading* My Likes and Dislikes: Enjoyed the candor in which this was written. You do give any punches, therefore you don't deserve any in return.
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283
Review of Humbly  
Review by MandiK~ : p
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Pirate of The Broken Mast

*Reading* Overall Impression: A sweet look at a child trying to discover the world of words around him.

*Reading* Technical Errors: seventh line dictates?

*Reading* Areas of Improvement: It is so short that it leaves me wanting more- descriptions, antidotes, just more.

*Reading* My Likes and Dislikes: I just want more about this dear sweet toddler.
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Review of Birthday Candles  
Review by MandiK~ : p
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Pirate of The Broken Mast

*Reading* Overall Impression: A very sweet, beautiful poem written to commemorate the road to adulthood.

*Reading* Technical Errors: fifth line down shines?

*Reading* Areas of Improvement: hard to tell in the poem if this was written for a son or daughter, we only have that information in the description. Maybe you could incorporate another stanza with this information?

*Reading* My Likes and Dislikes: Obviously this was written with a lot of love, it shows through.
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285
Review of Humor (sort of)  
Review by MandiK~ : p
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
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Pirate of The Broken Mast

*Reading* Overall Impression: Great way to introduce your humorous poetry

*Reading* Technical Errors: "I hope the have some, a tinyiest speck, of comedic value." This sentence doesn't read well.

*Reading* Areas of Improvement: May want to add some emoticons or ML's to color this up a bit and make it more inviting

*Reading* My Likes and Dislikes: Nothing to dislike, I like your attempt at a joke in the end (but you don't need to point it out)

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286
Review by MandiK~ : p
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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Pirate of The Broken Mast

*Reading* Overall Impression: A wonderful piece filled with raw emotion. Honest.

*Reading* Technical Errors: None that I could see

*Reading* Areas of Improvement: I wouldn't change this at all, it's wonderful the way it is.

*Reading* My Likes and Dislikes: The opening line "This sucks." Sounds very juvenile to begin with, but then quickly becomes apparent as you read on.

Keep writing!

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287
287
Review of The Day I Grew Up  
Review by MandiK~ : p
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is so sad. I can't imagine this happening to me or being the one to send my children away. I hope things went better later on.

A small confusion between the first two stanzas,I had to read this part twice, At first I thought that you were describing the teddy bear.

Get us ready to go
Even my teddy bear

I can never forget him
He had white hair


Small typo here, if your interested-

*I can never forget you mom
(Mom)

Keep writing
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Review of My Honey  
Review by MandiK~ : p
Rated: E | (4.5)
So very cute!

I've never seen this type of poetry (that I know of), but you seem to have used it well. Your rhyming is consistant and not forced, keeping the flow comfortable.

Did you actually meet your husband on the internet?
If so, good for you!

Keep writing!
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Review of Wolf Hunt  
Review by MandiK~ : p
Rated: E | (4.5)
Oh my gosh!
This was so much harder than it looked.

How did you find so many translations for the word, wolf? Are they all in the dictionary? I've never hear of most of these.

Nice job. I'll admit, I couldn't find them all. I cheated.

Keep writing!
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Review by MandiK~ : p
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
A very powerful statement

I only wish that I could hear the music that would go with this.

It's so hard to know if the flow is correct, or if it needs more or less. As a poem it reads a bit choppy, but as lyrics, I don't know.

Your words are very powerful, as I said. You definately make a point here.

Keep writing!
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291
Review by MandiK~ : p
Rated: E | (4.5)
Sadly beautiful.

This sounds so much like the letter that I wrote to my first dog Tramp. We loved him so much that it was hard to think of ever getting another. Then when we finally did, we were hit hard by her tragic death,
 Juliet Aurora  (E)
My beloved little puppy who will never leave my side.
#937050 by MandiK~ : p
. You would think that would have been enough. Now we have 2. Border Collie/Australian Shepard mixed, brother and sister!

No typos

Keep writing!
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Review by MandiK~ : p
Rated: E | (4.5)
Short, sweet and directly to the point!

I know how this feels, starting at a computer screen all day. Sometimes the only thing that will wake me up is chocolate. Not coffee, not a walk, nothing except creamy, smooth, slightly bitter, dark chocolate!

No typos, but you might want to change "cat's eyelids" to "her eyelids". It took me reading it twice, to get the first sentence.

Keep writing!
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293
Review by MandiK~ : p
Rated: E | (4.5)
A very open and honest, fresh look at the star rating system here on Writing.com.

Each star layer is broken down and given a positive spin, even the final one star. My suggestion would be to brighten this up with ML's and use the actual stars instead of the words.

Nice work,
Keep writing!
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294
Review by MandiK~ : p
Rated: E | (5.0)
An incredibly helpful article of the importance of constructive reviewing.

The article is laid out in a very agreeable fashion that delivers information, but is not boring. Addition of linked article helps to deliver added credibility.
The form of the article is comfortable and reads easily on the computer screen.

Keep writing!
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295
Review by MandiK~ : p
Rated: E | (4.5)
A very helpful look at a little used form of poetry in the United States.

Your history of the poetic form was interesting in setting up the actual style of writing and why it doesn't translate well to English.

Adding links to some examples of this type of poetry was an added plus.

Keep writing!
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296
Review by MandiK~ : p
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This was really good!

I realize that you had to keep it under 650 words, so I won't ask why you didn't go into more depth. Maybe you could copy it into another file and really go to town on it. Maybe even expand on some of those descriptions. (Eerrie!)

I wouls suggest that you add a bit more punctuation to the piece, it feels as if you might be missing a comma here and there.

A couple of typos, if you're interested.

*The broken bulbs in the light fittings suddenly began to flicker in to life, (into)

*items he was sure [wasn’t](weren't) there when he first entered.

Keep writing!
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297
Review of "I Am Here"  
Review by MandiK~ : p
Rated: E | (4.5)
A very interesting and thought provoking story.

Your details of the situation are well written and layed out in such a way, to pull the reader in and get them to "your side". Well done.

One typo-

*“But("), I protested, “I didn’t even know there was going to be a staff meeting..”

Good luck and keep looking for the messages. They are all around you.

Keep writing!
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Review of Forever Thirst  
Review by MandiK~ : p
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
A very dark and desolute picture is painted here.

I can picture this lost soul wandering around searching for something, but not knowing exactly what for.

I would suggest, though, that you might want to add some punctuation to the piece. I read this through twice and found myself pausing at the same places, but not necessarily at the end of a sentence.

Keep writing!
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299
Review by MandiK~ : p
Rated: E | (3.5)
You're absolutely correct-
that was very short.

You might want to add some punctuation to the piece, you do start out with it capitalized.

typo-
*This is a very shot poem
short? maybe a better sounding title would be more efective

Keep writing
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300
Review by MandiK~ : p
Rated: E | (4.0)
An interesting outlook on a difficult subject. You might also me interested in reading
"In Defense of Anonymous Reviewers" by ♥Kim-Marie♥
It is a very truthful piece on why she chooses to sometimes review in the "anonymous".

I have also found this style of reviewing to be hostile, and refrain from doing it myself.

Nicely written piece, keep writing!
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