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336 Public Reviews Given
524 Total Reviews Given
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for entry "~ My Favorite Dream ~
Review by Soldier_Mike
In affiliation with Positive Hearts Reviews Group  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
I come to you by way of "I Write in 2024.

I can completely identify with you having dreamt about flying sans airplane. I, too, have swooped and soared and dove both inside of hallways and buildings in general, as well as outdoors. Some of the flights were local, some were practically transatlantic, but all were peaceful yet exhilarating.

I don't recall ever considering the "floating above my problems" aspect, but I can see what your counselor meant. I haven't dreamt about flying for the longest time, and can't recall the last time I even thought about it, so thanks for the pleasant reminder!


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Review by Soldier_Mike
In affiliation with Positive Hearts Reviews Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Your account's a year older, so here I am!

Your poem brings a cautionary tale about how the life of a gunslinger typically ends. I like how the repeated use of 'shadows' reinforces the notion that the 'how' of a gunslinger's end is known, just not the 'when'. The 'broken compass' strikes me as referring to his moral compass as no longer able to reliably tell the difference between south (bad) and north (good), although 'hangs his head in shame' tells us he's not completely amoral. The final three verses bring us to the final state of the gunslinger and his horse.

My favorite line: Sharpening his scythe.
Suggestion: I would change 'breathe' to breath.

Thanks for sharing this with us!


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Review of Autumn  
Review by Soldier_Mike
In affiliation with Positive Hearts Reviews Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Your account's a year older and I happened to drop by - and look what I found! I like the pictures you paint of autumn, with its bright colors, crisp mornings and evenings as bookends to a pleasant day. Very nice! The aspen trees in the mountains west of here also put on a lovely show every year.
You chose to vary the meter and there's nothing at all wrong with that, and the a-a-b-b rhyme scheme you used makes for a nice read. Thanks for sharing this with us!


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Review of Tinkering Dreams  
Review by Soldier_Mike
In affiliation with Positive Hearts Reviews Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hi! I'm here with a review for I Write in 2024.

Well, it looks like Harold is correct: getting fired from the factory is turning out fairly well. First, he gets away from Lord Harrison, who appears to be a pretty cruel taskmaster. He hits his workers with his walking stick, and he knows his machines churn out bits of fiber which aren't good for them, but he's pleased with how they suppress the workers' appetites so they can work longer and harder; Harold is well shot of him.

The constable detailed to escort him from the premises remembers being a young lad himself, and allows Harold to retrieve his belongings from the alley adjacent to the factory (apparently still part of the factory grounds). He's amazed at the contraption Harold wears on his head. Out of an abundance of caution perhaps, Harold misidentifies it as a combination stove and umbrella.

The device's real nature is much more clever, as Harold demonstrates to the young girl he meets in an especially run-down part of town. Her suggestion that he put on a show at a local fair turns out to be very good advice, and the young inventor is on his way.

I enjoyed reading your story, and I liked the local slang and terminology you used, especially homunculus and tifter. Thanks for sharing this!


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Review of All About Kiya  
Review by Soldier_Mike
In affiliation with Positive Hearts Reviews Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi, Kiya! This was a fun puzzle to work on; Sapphy really came up with some good stuff. The spaces are a bit disconcerting, but not a real big deal. On the technical side of things, the following words didn't gray/line-out when I found them: Black Hair, Gay Asian Boys, and Teddy Bears. I know this puzzle was last edited a decade ago but, since you've activated it for your birthday celebration today, you may want to ask SM to take a look. Thanks again, and have a fantastic birthday!
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Review of Summer Grass  
Review by Soldier_Mike
In affiliation with Positive Hearts Reviews Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I took a look around and found this verdant gem. Since they get precious little help from me, my own little blades ought to take the hint and welcome the rains, instead of doing their crinkled best to let it all flow away. I very much like the images I get of blades of grass struggling to stay upright under the onslaught of a summer storm. Thanks for sharing this!

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Review of Enemy  
Review by Soldier_Mike
In affiliation with Positive Hearts Reviews Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi, Kyle! I found this in your port and thought to leave a comment or two.

It looks like some higher-up neglected to take the possibility of technological advancement seriously, if they even considered it at all. Their complacency and acceptance of the seemingly never-ending status quo cost their men their lives; it may have even cost them the possibility of coming out the victor in this conflict. Unfortunate.

Your story of men manning the trenches and preparing to repel attackers rings true enough. I like how you used uncommon words in the tale: fosse and, from the Basque, etsai. Very cool. Thanks for sharing this!


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Review of Lemonade  
Review by Soldier_Mike
In affiliation with Positive Hearts Reviews Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I found this in your port and thought to comment; just remember, though, it's only one man's opinion.

This looks like a great Daily Flash Fiction entry. It's most unfortunate that pesky word count limit tripped you up. Five little words - I've been there more times than I care to remember. That said, you paint a realistic picture of a father desperately trying to find his little girl at a local water park. You even have his heart almost stop when he sees a youngster face down in the water and grabs her, only to find out she's not his child. He finds her safe and sound, but I'd bet she got a serious talking-to after his heart rate dropped back under 100.

The only comment I would make is that, with the child missing for an hour, you would think the police would have been swarming the area. I'm not sure what part of the story you could remove in order for them to at least get a mention, but I think it would help sell the story. Thanks for sharing this with us!


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Review by Soldier_Mike
In affiliation with Positive Hearts Reviews Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I'm a retired soldier and this poem's title caught my eye, so I thought I'd comment. Naturally, I very much liked the subject of your poem. You make mention of the reasons he chose to serve, and you allude to the sacrifices he's made and the hardships he's endured. I'm glad this soldier was also your friend.
I like the rhyme scheme you chose. Although the meter seems to be variable, it works for this poem. Thanks for sharing it.


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Review by Soldier_Mike
In affiliation with Positive Hearts Reviews Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
You've put together quite the listing of movies and sorted them by category. I recognized many of the films included in this collection and have seen quite a few of them, although there are huge gaps in my 'viewing database'. For instance, I've seen The Three Musketeers, The Adventures of Robin Hood, and Robin and Marian, and then there's a giant void until Darby O'Gill and the Little People. It gets somewhat better after that, with The Princess Bride and The Lion, the Witch &the Wardrobe, the Tolkien films (live and animated), and perhaps a dozen more. The list makes a nice review of good films, and I enjoyed scanning it for favorites. Thanks for putting it together.

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Review of Taste  
Review by Soldier_Mike
In affiliation with Positive Hearts Reviews Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi! I found this in your port and thought to offer some comments. I like the way you incorporate the title in the text, and I just had to wonder: which came first, the title or the text? It appears they shared a violent love and I can't decide if the shared kiss transformed the protagonist, or just so captured his heart and senses that he seemingly takes sides against his friends either physically or philosophically. A dark poem indeed.

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Review by Soldier_Mike
In affiliation with Positive Hearts Reviews Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I found this in your port and wanted to comment. I like this love poem, and I like how you use repetition to drive your point home. The love of our life does exist in our chest - in our heart - and it's good to remind our soulmate of that fact. I also like how you describe the emptiness of life without that love to fill and fuel it. Thank you for sharing this.

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Review of THE LAST WHAT IF  
Review by Soldier_Mike
In affiliation with Positive Hearts Reviews Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Ah, the regret of "What if...?" Her choice, her decision, doomed her to a life without the love of helpmate. She knew he loved her and always would, but she somehow couldn't make herself commit to him. It's very sweet how, at the very end of her life, he was able to prove his eternal love for her by being there to welcome her into the afterlife. Thanks for sharing this.

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Review of Wonderland 2024  
for entry "A-2. The Antipathies
Review by Soldier_Mike
In affiliation with Positive Hearts Reviews Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hey, there! Just dropping in for I Write in 2024. So-o-o many things went through my head as the story unfolded. "Essence of Han Solo" seems to permeate the tale although, from the mention of the excellent pay onward, hints of Tom Hanks' Jimmy Dugan from A League Of Their Own kept coming up (e.g. "Well, I could certainly use the money.") I like your little monologue on spacecraft design, and what Star Trek fan never wondered about those inertial dampeners? Oh, yes - the whole "south side of the galaxy" thing is a hoot.
Thanks for sharing this!


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Review of A Snowy Dawn  
Review by Soldier_Mike
In affiliation with Positive Hearts Reviews Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I came to your port for a review and found this gem. Overall, the meter you chose is generally even and works well with the abcb rhyme scheme. The verses paint a lovely picture of an early stroll through a snowy wood, rescue dog in tow (or, possibly, with you in tow). I like how you portrayed the pup's concern for you when you took that spill, your rescue dog ready to rescue you right back.

My favorite line: The dawn comes up to cardinal sound; it reminds me of the mourning doves I can hear around here in the mornings. Thanks for sharing this with us!


Congratulations on your WdC Anniversary.


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Review by Soldier_Mike
In affiliation with Positive Hearts Reviews Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
The account anniversary group size for today is very small, so I thought I'd give you a review. A number of things about your poem caught my eye. I like the internal rhyme you used, including the title: spring morning, Daffodils...hills, chick...pick and, to a slightly lesser extent (although the alliteration was cool), tune...two. I also liked how you pivoted the meaning of 'pick' from the chick trying to find some food, to its meaning as relates to music. Clever!
I enjoyed reading this; thanks for sharing it.


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Review of WoRdS lEfT uNsAiD  
Review by Soldier_Mike
In affiliation with Positive Hearts Reviews Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
A hard-edged poem about the painful ending of a relationship. The "...sharp jagged edges..." of words unsaid can inflict a lot of emotional damage and pain. The imagining of what those words might be, the feelings brought forth by the thought that they could possibly be true, can all cause deep emotional wounds.

Relationships come to an end all the time. Frequently, the ending can be foreseen. One party or the other - and sometimes, both - have engaged in behaviors ill-suited to maintaining a healthy and loving relationship. In this case, it appears that it has come as a complete surprise to the protagonist. It's easy to picture her (as seems likely) holding her head in her hands and uttering that query, her voice showing the shock she's beginning to feel at her partner's revelation. As realization sets in and the finality of her loss takes hold, she regains her strength of will and leaves her former partner standing alone, using her own unsaid words to strike back at his heart as she departs.

Thank you for sharing this.


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Review by Soldier_Mike
In affiliation with Positive Hearts Reviews Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This is a beautiful poem about the love a man has for his wife, what she means to him, and his hope and desire that they will continue to grow together until they are as one. I love the second line, describing how the bond to your bride is so strong, that just seeing her recalls the smell of the breeze of your homeland.

May you two share a long and happy life together, and thank you for sharing this with us!


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Review by Soldier_Mike
Rated: E | (5.0)
I like this depiction of life in the rural Wisconsin of the 1950s. A trip I once made to northern New York took me along I-90, meaning I actually went through Sparta - quite the coincidence! - so your description of the rolling landscape seemed extra familiar. Your description of your trek back to the farm easily held my interest and was very entertaining (certainly more so for me than it was for you at the time). Regarding suggestions, I don't really have any other than to comment that including descriptions for Margaret and Mr. Michelson - even ones as basic as the one given of Mr. Kelly - would have added an extra bit of 'scenery' to the story; it doesn't suffer from their absence, though.

Thanks for sharing a bit of your past with us!


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Review of The End of Her  
Review by Soldier_Mike
In affiliation with Positive Hearts Reviews Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a very sad poem about how lost and adrift one can feel at the loss of a parent; in this particular case, a daughter losing her mother. The world at large doesn't change, but the ties to it that ran through the mother are gone and what was once familiar now feels strangely different. Here, as with the loss of any significant person to you, you look at the places where she used to be, doors through which she used to come, and expect to see her appear. She doesn't, and the sorrow deepens all the more.

The open verse style employed works well here, and no rhyme scheme is needed to get across the feelings of loss and abandonment. Thank you for sharing this heartfelt poem.


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Review by Soldier_Mike
In affiliation with Positive Hearts Reviews Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
My wife used to love the Suite Life shows and, as noted, this is a piece of fanfiction. It shows a side of Dylan I don't recall from either series, but - hey! - literary license. It's easy enough to follow the action and even, perhaps, to make a prediction or two on how Dylan is next going to mistreat his brother. Definitely a different take on the siblings' on-screen dynamic.

As far as suggestions go, I would only say that, if you want to make this available to a wider or different audience, you may want to use a grammar checker. It would catch little things like desert versus dessert, and possibly make a recommendation for rewording unusual descriptions (such as replacing 'scantily posed' with 'scantily clad'). As a fanfiction item, this story assumes some familiarity with Suite Life canon, so fans of the boys' antics will likely enjoy reading it. Thanks for sharing!


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Review by Soldier_Mike
In affiliation with Positive Hearts Reviews Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
As I'm a past (and possibly future) NaNo'er myself, the title of this poem caught my eye. Naturally, based on that title, I read it with the basic rhyme scheme and rhythm of Mr. Moore's classic Christmas poem and found that it followed those characteristics quite nicely. It's obviously much shorter than the original poem, but I believe that's completely understandable, as it was created less than eight hours before NaNoWriMo kicked off and you were probably hoping for a little nap to get you started. *Laugh*

The poem's actual subject matter is clearly in sync with the title and indicates you were likely as prepared as it was possible to be. *ThumbsUpGreen* Thanks for sharing this with us!


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Review by Soldier_Mike
In affiliation with Positive Hearts Reviews Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I have a son-in-law who would probably enjoy this, as he's very much interested in minerals, rocks, and so on. This is a fun exercise and it contains a few terms that are likely unfamiliar to the world at large (augite, chalcopyrite and plagioclase, to name a few). Thanks for setting this up for us!

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Review of The Rose  
Review by Soldier_Mike
In affiliation with Positive Hearts Reviews Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
How appropriate, that I found this poem during Valentine's Day week! I love your comparison of love to a rose, and how you describe the nature of each, as well as the simple rhyme scheme. Both love and the rose have their phases, their waxing and waning but, as you point out in hope, having friendship as love's foundation is something to be desired. Thank you for sharing this!

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Review of Silent Child  
Review by Soldier_Mike
In affiliation with Positive Hearts Reviews Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
This isn't a very long poem, but you still manage to get across the desperate feelings of despair and fear the girl or woman lives with. Isolated on a farm and apparently unable to flee, she has to endure whatever evils are inflicted upon her. It's all very sad, and even worse that it happens in thousands of homes every single day.

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