Mourning to the departure of his beloved wife, the author recalls their candy-floss love story starting from the day one when he met her for ths first time in school. Sitting bu her grave, the author longs to be united with her soon. There is pain and hope, together.
For a 55-word story this a nice one The flow is good considering the limitation of words to be used.
From a towel's point of view, he loves the lady who uses him. The lady is unaware.
The proximity that a towel shares is too intense. There is a lusty feeling in the towel's tone.
I liked the line : The water drips from her hair, like a soft April shower" - this is widely imaginative.
The magical touch of Christmas, the emotions it brings along, those laughters of joy, those happy tears of prayers answered, the lights, the celebrations, those divine touches, the peppy spirits of people adds together to make Christmas the best festival around the world. The description is marvellous, the rhyme and rhythm adds to it.
I liked reading this
Intense pain of a failed relationahip is tried to wash away with tears, but in vain.
A day is awaited when the poet can re-live his/her life as pleasantly as earlier.
Just a simple poem to express the state of mind and body which is in extreme trauma and is shattered due to the tremendous torcher from a bad relationship. Some sort of physical abuse lies hidden behind this.
A couple is bonded with love and passion. Your way of describing this feeling through emotions and body language is really very good.
They are locked in time and place, the fingers are locked together and they feel that as the strongest symbol of strength, unbreakable.
A light hearted peppy poem painted pink and blue
That children are such a wonder, is really true.
Your style of writing has impressed me
These words are pure, I can very well see.
The rhyme is good and the rhythm is nice
Poetry is English's best device.
Keep writing is my only suggestion
That will lead you to master perfection
A very motivational and a positive poem spreading the vibes all across the readers, sending a message to not to loose hopes and dreams. The wings of conviction and optimism will be the only ones to help us realise our dreams. They will give our imaginations a new sky to fly. However, the poet alarms that we should not be disheartened if we fall of the soaring height - and we may sometimes. The trial times are the ones which chisel out the bad and unwanted and make a us a great work of an artist God.
This is a very inspirative poem. I liked reading it mainly because it reflects the positivity of the author well on his readers. Mission accomplished.
After being intensely in love, this man hears something fishy about the lady. He is in total confusion to such an extent that he is in no position to believe his own thoughts. This poem is wrapped up with pain and hope. Pain for the broken heart after realising that the other potential lover is just pretending to love, and hope for the relationship to click again if a chance is given.
But overall, the man is brutally in a big heart-ache. And he is desperate to find answers to each doubt arising in his mind.
The rhythm is so musical that it almost feels like it can be used as a lyric. The flow is good.
Each stanza is well connected to the other one. Well done
A lady, all by herself, visits a bar. Has a great time there , according to her. Unaware of the fact that the place may not have been safe for her, she is still lucky to have saved herself from being abused physically. However, with two drinks, her mind is not at its rational best. She is fulfilling her emotional and egoistical needs. She succeeds in having some fun time off from her hectic office hours. She sets herself free and is at her original self. Wants to be like this. However her strange visit has made her happy and she is content that the day is spent to the fullest.
A very fairy tale like description starts beautifully in this poem. The description holds the tempo. A sister (not known) is discovered and her description is minutely done taking care of her attire and her body language. The innocence is not left too.
The title suits well and the flow of the poem is good. However, when the lady wants to know more of this mysterious beauty, she is seen bombarding questions about her to her mother. To which her father responds sharply to stop the investigation sensing that the moment is getting sensitive.
Emotional touch is maintained throughout the poem.
A very touchy letter from one sister to another, full of pain of loss of a lovable sister.
A childhood memory is revived and the Emily is fondly and deeply remembered. The characters (both sisters) show strength in terms of inner beauty and a strong will power.
Every word is sipped in an ink of wanting Emily to come back and relive those cherishable moments together once again.
A very beautiful piece of read.
Words flow from the heart
Touches the reader enormously.
Straight from your heart. The fact that you were already sleepy and that you admit that now its time to hit the bed, is so frank.
There is an urge to read more but there is nothing that can beat the power of the nature. Sleep dominates your eyes and so you wish a good night to all.
I liked reading this mostly because it was well written from heart, the words are pure and truest to their forms.
Hey Jaya A long time I have read something of your's.
This one is beautiful as India is enjoying its annual monsoon and this time it is more splendid than last year. The breeze, the showers, the thunders, the lightnings, the green clad mountains, the freshly washed roads, those children playing in the pool of water with small handmade boats of paper.
Each and everything of this season is so attractive.
Here in Mumbai you know how difficult it is, yet we love it when God directs his showers to give us a bath untimely.
I love this poem of yours simply because it is describing my favorite season " Monsoon".
A family tries to find out the reason behind their father's death.
A very dramatic dialogue placement with proper pitches and excalmations, adds the shade of reality.
It seems the spirit of the man dead is called through and the mysterious answer to his death.
Longing to be with his family, his children - a father thinks of "father's day" , sitting inside a prison.
The day is passing as any other day but is labelled as a Celebration for fathers all around the world.
Consoles himself by thinking of the happy moments of the past and colours his blank canvas with some old colours.
The passion of love making is well expressed with this form of Poetry. I discovered it today and I feel it is awesome. Suits well to the topic and the title adds mystery as to what "first time" and what does the author wants to say.
The flow is lucid. The chrnology is maintained well.
Kind of a short O coming to the reader as well.
This is awesome. It has a dramatic flair. All characters here are strong in their own way. Paul, Barbara and Jim. Three generations meet at a bench. The baby Paul meets his father Paul and Paul meets his father Jim after having not known each other.
This is film like but it is real life episode. And the author himself being the three year old toddler describing this gives it an emotional touch,
I am all choked. I have no words to express what I am feeling right now after reading this.
I mean , the author has gone through hell. Hell is not a right word. If there was a superlative to Hell I would describe that too.
But, a decision had to be taken for the little girl Cindy to see life as a rainbow and not its darker side.
Writing emerges from such past, and I feel each word is drenched in blood, pain, tears and angony.
I was left misty eyed.
If you give love, you will receive it. Thats the crux here.
A rose is earthbound and cannot reach the sky and its heights. But a bee flying high comes down to it, and pollinates the rose. Another life is in the making. To give and to share is the best way we can show we care
This is a simple but a sweet poem motivating readers about the basic values that God has inculcated right from our birth. However, living on this materialistic earth, we tend to forget these and live life on our own terms. Which should not be the case. We all should learn from the bee to be selflessly helpful.
A sense of feeling is subconsciously running at the back of the mind.
A confidence that Yes I am going to breathe the next moment.
Perpetual and unlike the self generated feeling of confidence, this one has a strong foundation of faith about the existence of a super natural power, and His best gifted feeling called Love.
A heart is hurt with the pain LOVE brings with it.
There is a real ZERO STATE of mind that makes the poet throw a ball of questions seeking answers to all Hows, Whys, Whats etc.
The thought behind comparing the Costly affair LOVE and Cheap RAZORS is adding to the Dark genre that the cobweb of thoughts that have surrounded the poet.
beliefs lost, reliefs lost - there is nothing more than a hope for his survival.
The sentiments fit well to the title.
This poem would look more nicer if structured in the format of stanzas. However, it is solely the author's wish.
WHole of the poem written in First person adds to the punch.
ho ho ho ... this was too much fun mixed with a tinge of fear of the wild bear.
I almost bursted out laughing when I came across the line
" Grand pop grabbed us just in time, as that bear drove past, waving his paws and yelping for help, right into the lake!".. this would have been fun for the granfather and the children. I can just imagine this...
Yes, grandparents are one of the best people on this earth
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The flow is good considering the limitation of words to be used.