That's a great photograph of her. I can certainly expect that she could do that to a board. It almost looks as if she's just been preening a little prior to the photo being taken and she almost seems to be waiting for it to be taken before returning to that.
I thought this was good and descriptive. Well worded to describe that experience in poem form. I liked how you referred to it as taking off or sailing off in the last line. But the bleakness of the current situation is also evident, and written as a vast change from younger days. Very true. Well done.
Nice poem. I thought it summed up the description about blindfolds of love coming off really well. Spoken by the person who put more, or felt more in regards the the relationship.
Although I can hear the tone of anger and perhaps slight irony behind the words, so it's not just hurt feelings being dealt with. Good work.
I found this story interesting to read. As with your comment at the end, I didn’t find the part in blue affecting it that much in a bad way, if at all. I thought it was good showing the diversity between her imagination and actual reality. The story ended well too, letting the reader know that she wasn’t giving up on her imagination. Nicely done.
NOTE:
The typos I found, I replaced corrected in red text. The punctuation and grammar challenges I found, I replaced with green text. All other comments, questions, thoughts and/or plot challenges, I listed in blue.
That was really interesting to read. I liked how it ended with them both returning then leaving anything else up to a continuation or sequel. Nicely done.
Spelling, punctuation and grammar challenges:
The morning arrived far too quickly and, needless to say, I was not thrilled with the idea. I’d promised Emily that we would spend the day walking around London, and she was already awake and bustling around the hotel room. She caught sight of herself in the mirror and began tugging at the rubber band in her hair. I couldn’t help but laugh.
NOTE:
The typos I found, I replaced corrected in red text. The punctuation and grammar challenges I found, I replaced with green text. All other comments, questions, thoughts and/or plot challenges, I listed in blue.
Interesting story, I found the twist at the end amusing. Good work.
Spelling, punctuation and grammar challenges:
He was shouting at the top of his voice. “What are you doing boy? Stop shuffling and look into my eyes. I said look into my eyes. The final is just a day away and you’re still good but I need your best. Wake up, damn you!” And he slapped him hard.
He answered and thanked them all. As he was moving towards the team, areporter shouted. “Can we call you a whisperer?”
NOTE:
The typos I found, I replaced corrected in red text. The punctuation and grammar challenges I found, I replaced with green text. All other comments, questions, thoughts and/or plot challenges, I listed in blue.
That was a good descriptive story about a person out in a huge storm on the edge of a swollen river where everything seems like water. Having it emphasised, the aloneness, was well done also. Almost as if they won't be missed, at least not at first. Nicely done.
I thought this descriptive piece about a flower was nicely done how you portrayed the images of the flower's experiences in all weather and times, daylight as well as night. Good work.
I found that to be an accurate story of a stressed family under more stress from an accident such as that. The ending was good, I found his muteness at the end amusing. Good work.
Yes, I agree, the words, one last job. Never goes well for the participants. I thought the ending was good, how you wrote the attempt at framing that failed. I'm leaving the dialogue alone as I assume that's how Joe speaks normally. Good work.
I see what you mean by the twist at the end, good work to incorporated it. I can understand that situation would be as scary to them as a ghost would be. Nice dedication at the end too.
I thought this was an interesting and entertaining poem to read. Showing that the speaker knows exactly what the situation is and happy to continue, not wanting things to change. Content with thoughts, dreams and imagination. I thought it was well done.
That was an amusing story to read in a way, with the partly expected ending. Cleverly constructed though to write it with a sense of humour even though it clearly wasn't funny at the time. Nice work.
That was a nice poem to read, showing a couple fully committing to each other and expecting troubles, but allowing for them and saying how they will approach them as well as describing the good times, accepting all and moving on together. Very nicely done.
Good story of a bad situation they found themselves in and how Jeremy had already decided off his own bat that he was a disappointment to her. The ending made me wonder if she'd expected something else and it stopped in a good place to let the reader imagine on. Good work.
That was an interesting start. Having it written in diary form with the dates caught my eye. That's something different for me.
The ending is in a good place. It made me hope that when she does put whatever plan into action, in that case, tomorrow, that she can live with it when and if she finds out what the misunderstanding was. Good work.
Interesting story. it appeard to be written completely from his observations some time after the fact. Neat idea, well done.
I just have one suggestion with the part paragraph pasted below. I took out the second to last word - was. See if it helps.
.......and you could only see her disinterest in the way she played with her hair more than usual.
She treated your mother deferentially. She smiled and nodded whenever your mother made an observation about you, and you could only tell when she disagreed by the narrowing of her eyes. She let your mother talk to her at length about the benefits and parties that took up so much of your mother's time, and you could only see her disinterest in the way she played with her hair more than was usual.
That was an interesting poem comparing his fear to the ocean currents, describing how the feelings, when they first sweep him away, he panics. Then after a while, he gets used to it, and prefers to remain as he is then.
I thought this was great to read. Centering a story around a phone call, in this case, devastating and having the woman recieving it have flashback memories as she was given the news.
I enjoyed this short story that highlighted what it must have been like then when it came to bucking the trend in relation to school uniform guidelines.
The ending was very good. Showing the reactions of the other girls the next day and leaving it up to the reader to imagine if the authorities actually managed to do anything. Nicely done.
This story was really good. Complete and entertaining with the small wordcount. I especially liked the question she posed at the beginning of the first paragraph. Having it end when she is emerging into a new future was well placed. Great work.
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