This was nice to read. It was sad, but then that was the theme, so good work.
The speaker seems to be coping with the reason for the separation, but is keeping one idea on hope for the future. in the meantime, is coping by using what's described.
Very nice. This is the first poem I've seen in this format since having to do it in class. Great effort writing about someone breaking free, as in death and going on with those left behind imagining it. Very apt title too. Well done.
Well done on a story that will really leave an impression. I found it sad and unfortunate in places, which was clearly the intention. The start was interesting. It made me wonder at what they were talking about at first. Good work.
This poem was good. To me it spoke of a beautiful summer day and of someone wandering around sampling what they could find and see.
I only have one line suggestion.
The third line - Unconfined ocean ragged high, and free.
You could lose the comma and I think it would flow well without it. Have a read aloud, and see what works best. Ragged, is that what you mean? Or do you mean raged?
This story was a good one, of an attack that turned into a deadly misunderstanding. My first suggestion is one that was told to me way back. Put spaces between paragraphs. It makes it easier to read.
Now for suggestions with the story.
She steped out thinking that was weird but it wasn't weird enough to alarm her until she looked in the steamy mirror after getting dressed.
She stepped out thinking…………….
Karmen stood staring at it frozen with fear. Then she let out a screechingly loud scream.
Then she let out a screeching loud scream.
Karmen thought that maybe she should go and grab her cordless phone and call her boyfriend, Ted, to ask him to stay with her because she was frightened. when she grabbed the phone she heard some sort of glass breaking in the kitchen.
Is it supposed to be a full stop after frightened?
When she grabbed it she noticed the phoneline had been cut.
…. The phone line had been cut.
Karmen shreeked at the top of her lungs.
Karmen shrieked at the top of her lungs.
Karmen grabbed the toaster and hit the man over the head as hard as she could knocking him unconcious. Karmen ran to her neighbor's apartment and pounded on the door as hard as she could crying loudly. Her neighbor opened the door and asked Karmen what was wrong. "There was a man after me." she explained "He's unconcious in my apartment."
unconscious
Karmen peeked inside her aparment and saw that the man was still lying there.
apartment
Karmen new that she had to back in and make sure that he wouldn't go anywhere. Karmen knew that she had to go back in…….
The Police Officer touched Teds neck to feel for a pulse.
The Police Officer touched Ted’s neck to feel for a pulse.
That poem I thought was great. As well as describing the reader's response to the loss, it also diverted to include mention of others who would feel the same way. That's very realistic. Often those left behind is far reaching, not just a handful of individuals. Well done.
That was an interesting poem and enjoyable to read. To me it seems to be about a person who is just getting over a loss (romantic) and is finding that things are improving for them even though they still feel sad. Nice effort showing the transition. Well done.
This poem was good. But the total opposite of what I thought, clicking on the link. That's not a bad thing.
It speaks of a child trying to live up to expectation, and seeming never to do it until giving up. But the effects of this last well into adulthood. Well done.
That was an interesting poem of a memory between a couple where money seemed to be tight. Amusing in places, it ended up as sad or bittersweet, whichever works fine.
Anyway, good work. I enjoyed reading it, and cannot find anything to suggest. Well done.
That was a good peom. I can see the sadness written into it very clearly. However, the impression of neverending seems to be eased a bit at the end, when it says each time. That gives a hint that the person is not always sad. That it itself, seems to lend a bit of hope to this. Nicely done.
This was an interesting story, reflecting on the control some individuals can have, whether spiritual, in this case, ot political.
I thought it ended in a good spot. Assuming there was a bit of time between the last paragraphs, gives a good hint that he is preparing to join them after arranging the room after the previous paragraph took place.
This poem I found quite interesting to read. With each verse it seemed to expand into the bigger picture each time as things progressed. Almost as an expansion of the previous verse. But each situation blended with the other so there were no changes in how all should be viewed that I could see. Good work.
I thought this was really amusing and well written. As in the poem, parents sometimes find the best way is to let children try/do things instead of debating the issue. In this case, they were proved right without having to say so, which left everyone happy.
That was really good to read, semi inspirational to me. It seemed to show the hopelessness of the night or darkness of emotion extending to the more postive side when the dawn approaches, bringing hope and light with it. Repairing the damage of the night. Great imagry
I thought this was good. The way thngs work out sometimes is interesting and the best laid plans for malice often trip up. The story here illustrated that nicely.
I also thought it ended up at a good place. Just ending once scene, and leaving it open to a future that can be imagined by the reader.
That was an interesting poem. The couple it speaks about haven't been able to hide it from the sound of things. But there is still some unsaid reason why they are denying it or downplaying the feelings. Mainly to themselves it seems. Nice little poem. Well done.
I thought this was a really amusing read. It left off at just the right moment to give the reader a chance to imagine the expression on the guy's face when he finds out what she has in store for him. But at the same time, I'm not that sympathetic to his 'plight'
Firstly, I liked the way you catalogued the images in a folder with the cNotes here. Great idea.
The cNotes themselves are all very good. The frames chosen are really effective at enhancing the images. I especially liked the tree blossum one. Good choice of quotes and verses too. Well done.
That's really good. It gave the hint that the speaker's partner died very suddenly and unexpected.
The story is well written to show the conflicted feelings. On one hand wanting to leave, but then being able to realise that leaving would not fix the feelings this situation envoked.
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