That was a good flash fiction story. I can understand the child's continuing fear. It will stay with them for a very long time. It ended in a good spot to let the reader imagine the rest with the responses to the scream in the classroom. Nicely done.
Review of: The Time Without
Author: Dragonblue
Reviewer: Shylah
Chapter: #1
Additional Comments:
After finding nothing to comment on or suggest, I thought this collection of thought provoking poems in a variety of forms was very well done. The layout was also nicely done and easy to follow. Great work.
Interesting poem about being discovered in the night, which wasn't a good thing for her. Having her cloak of darkness revealed and bringing about her destruction by a large group, which seemed to contrast with her solo lifestyle. Good work.
That was a good story to read. I liked the interaction between grandfather and grandson. The ending was nice, tying it back into the present day and the beginning of the story after showing the events leading to that.
That was a nice AABB poem that spoke of starting anew in a place of increased hope. The image underneath was nice too.
Now, a query.
For the time has come, when I answer all,
Were here for a reason, and never to fall,
The truth is, that freedom shall reign,
That great feeling, which keeps us sane.
I'm a bit puzzled. Second line, where it says - Were here for a reason, and never to fall,
Yes, from your intro, I can understand this would have been really hard to write. It was an interesting angle for a poem I hadn't seeen much of before. A person trying to get up the courage to make the break, and struggling. Good work.
I thought this poem was good. To me, the humorous side of it was very enjoyable even though the topic is serious and only gets more like that as we're getting older. Nicely done.
I found this to be a nicely written and amusing tale of trying to find suitable clothes that are reasonably fashionable. In this case, jeans. The ending was good too, saying what purchase was next, and beginning the round again for the reader. Well done.
This was really nice. I hope it had the inspirational effect that you were seeking. To me it speaks clearly of slowing down and enjoying the slower pace for a while to find refreshment.
I enjoyed reading this story about a family meeting (different generations) and how the lifestyle of her aunt compared to her own, and possibly not just because they lived in different situations, perhaps city/country differences. Very nicely done.
This was a nice short poem. Wrapping it up in six lines, really well done. I just have a suggestion or two for the second verse.
Rocking nests soothed by gentle wind.
Who makes whispered songs,
Depending on if this is intentional, I'm uncertain. But to me it seems like gentle wind could either be plural, gentle winds. Or else like this - Rocking nests soothed by the/a gentle wind. Either the or a would work.
I thought this was very interesting to read, almost educational. Even though it's listed as prose, to me it had almost a poetry feel to it with the short sentences. Nicely done.
I thought this article was great. I'd recommend it anytime to give to families that are considering doing the same thing. Personal experiences such as this are very helpful and can help them understand the reality on a personal level. Very nicely done.
That was an interesting poem to read. I thought it captured the theme of the title well. Nicely done as in the intro, a spur of the moment thing.
Lets see, suggestions. The only thign I could come up with is perhaps you could split the longer lines into two lines. But that's not necessary. Good work.
Firstly, I assume that the dragon speaking lived a lot longer than whoever they spoke about. In that respect, it has a certain sadness to it, and it's almost as if the dragon is saying what if...........
But it was good to read, very enjoyable. Nice work.
I thought this story was really good. The bittersweet realisation of time flying past and waking up one day to wonder what happened, so to speak with her mother admitting to herself that time has gone too fast with the play as what helped the situation as her daughter had a grown up role to play. Nicely done.
I thought this was quite entertaining. for al the undercurrents of frustration, it made me smile. Yes, camping can be like that. Been years since I tried it myself though.
I thought this was good. Reading it I found myself half expecting a bit of a twist with the wording not quite comfirming the identity of who the story was really about. Well done on writing about someone remembering an old loved pet. Nice work.
This poem was good. To me it spoke of renewal and what was needed for that to take place. I'm unsure if the flower was a cut one, or part of a pot plant. But either way, nice work.
I'd call it a freestyle poem. It was good to read. Very apt description of being out in a seriously big storm and appreciating the beauty side of it as well as the danger it could unleash. The speaker seems to be viewing it from outdoors, rather than indoors, which increases the risk of this. Nice work.
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