Random Review link has brought me here to your heartfelt poem, trying to come to a new normal, as you called it for your mom. The simple expressing of seasons to rerate mood is nice. I'm glad you find peace, and wish you the best.
No errors and sharing does feel like caring and sometimes is so needed. Thanks!
Congrats on second place, I enjoyed this and found it with our Random Review link, and always enjoy when I find a well written poem. Kind of has a sad feel to it, maybe the feel of abandonment and how we are losing important things as we grow as a society as if one sits and ponders where we're going it can be sad, like the urban blight that's left.
Again Thanks, I see no errors and want to thank you for sharing.
Thanks for sharing your poem and I wanted to stop in a give you a small review as I found this by own Random Review link. Relatable in the irony of things, and how sometimes we know what will happen, we make that same unwise choice. I only suggest putting "the" is front of irony.
Hello, JCosmos Thanks for posting in your newsfeed.
What a creative poem using the provided prompts. Like a super hungover, or time travel. I'm trying to decide music for Jeff's activity, and wanted to share this is great. Thanks!
Very suggestive, light hearted poem with a more serious imagery behind it. I knew what the small was and it's quite creative to write a poem about that and keep the rating so low .I imagine many feel as you, and I somewhat see humor in such a subject choice. Reminds me of a podcast I heard this morning, very non E.
I'd suggest capitalization your "I" and other than that entertaining poem, Thanks kindly for sharing.
This is great and I enjoy the author's note you add at the end for clarity as I mentioned before. Sonnets always make me think of romance and in a small way this also does, men think they have mastered the seas on boats they admire as "she". Its funny how imagery works, and honestly this could go dark quite quick, and you reminded me of some quotes I enjoy that might be useful to me.
Thank you again, I'm glad to be back and enjoy your poetry again.
This is a neat prose, and about the bird that travels the ocean with boats of past and present. They say this bird has the largest wingspan Enjoyable with a small glimpse of darkness in it.
Good day The StoryMistress I found my way here with the Random Review link, and appreciate the time it takes to create helpful, easy to understand guidelines on content and images. I'll also admit I did not know about it and often wonder about rating but do err when in doubt higher, but I always aim to keep titles and introductions E for exposure.
Thanks so much for all you and Sm do for this fantastic site and again Enjoy what's left of your day.
Creative and so honestly what so may feel when they lose a parent, it's hard to imagine a dream. Well written and thoughtful. The small rhyme is nice, editing with some writing ml would pretty it up. Also I'm not sure on this but the subject matter being death might not be E.
The emptiness I now feel,
brokenness and pain in my heart,
So true I imagine. I can see the sadness this poem lets out. Sharing helps. Thanks! and enjoy your day.
This is so sad for sure and I wouldn't want your experience to happen to anyone who loves their pet. I hit a black lab once, the only time I ever hit a dog, and I bawled my eyes out, I can still remember it. Pets are special and I won't say sorry as I feel that doesn't quite sum your sadness. Cute name Teddy I imagine he was some cute, and its good to know he was happy, both of you were.
I have a cat, he was a gift to my dead son, I know how sad you must be, and take care. Thank you for sharing and unloading the pain a little.
I'm not sure what to say but I feel like you describe addition as learned and true it can be but it's more also and I think you try to explain that. Finding yourself in the end and that happiness that we all deserve is powerful and I think this poem will help a lot of people who struggle as we all do in the darkest places of our souls.
Well written, my suggestions are for presentation only. I always have found the description hard to decide, this is what will bind to reader to commit and if often the spark that creates interest in what a person writes. I suggest you take a line one that resonates with you and make that your description such as:
Almost Doomed
I felt that fate had finally nailed me
I know this is a line, but I think this drives interest and makes it seem something your satisficed in writing instead of "yet another poem" Reviewing can be hit or miss and we need to do anything that will improve our chances of getting a review. A different font, one you like, and perhaps centering would make it pretty.
you wrote:
It started with my father,
but in the end he couldn’t bother
Then came my mother,
whose pain was from another
Then I made my own choices,
from the din of all the voices
So onto others I place no blame,
because it was always my own game
I'd edit as such.
It started with my father,
but in the end he couldn’t bother
Then came my mother,
whose pain was from another
Then I made my own choices,
from the din of all the voices
So onto others I place no blame,
because it was always my own game
I had fun reviewing this poem and It always good to share the journeys we make even the sad ones so no on feels alone in their struggles. Thanks for sharing and I wish you the best with your tribe. Have a good day any question reach out and I'll do my best to clarify.
Hello, AmyJo- only 2 steps behind - Random Review has brought me to a place I sure I'd never find in my dark places but am truly delighted. This is so sweet. Mom and bath time the struggles but heartfelt memories we create with such a simple parent task. The feelings it sparked in me. Thanks!
I see no errors and it is too kind a message. Write on.
Green door, this is kind of neat, making it somewhat magical in feeling, like a very old secretive library. The second line you change tense go from a secret to secrets. I enjoyed your poem, not overly complex just a pleasant read and Thank you!
Hello, Jakrebs Random Review Link brought me to this somewhat unique poem. I read it a few times, and it says a lot of without saying a lot. Some theory about quantum, and such. Creative and funny poem, it takes the reader for a trip. Great opener and I enjoyed it.
Morning Dr M C Gupta Random Review link brought me here so I have a small review for you.
What is natural is healthy for sure, and there's been studies and shows to how sugar has evolved and what it does to our brains. It also takes about a month to enjoy a new taste. So that's a big part of why diet fail. I think we shouldn't diet just make the decisions the slowly make better. I started walking two years ago cause I was lonely and toned down, and drink water now, one step then another step and all the little take us to a better place.
I enjoyed this and I'm rambling my bad. I see no errors and like the form used, Thank you, and enjoy your day.
The description doesn't give this well written poem accurate imagery. This is about govt but expressed in a morn ancient feel like one of castles and kings, but the more it is read the more the mind sees. Creative indeed, and gives one a different way of looking at today govt turmoil, now the should I say in not in your face. Quality thinking, Thank you for sharing and enjoy what's ;eft of your day. Zombie time for me.
Out and about and Random Review brought little me here. Not what I was expecting but I enjoyed it very much and have a similar poem myself, about my country but could apply to any as your poem does. A neat twist on making it about money but not really about that. I see no errors and honestly enjoyed a lot. Thank you and have a good one.
This is creative, I'm pleasantly surprised that subject matter was a dog. Not where I thought I was going at all. I'm reviewing you as part of "I Write in 2024" and I wanna say Good Luck in the contest.
Flash Fiction is one of my favorites and this is spot on. I'm not sure why you spelled boy(boi). The title and the first few lines have such a dark feel, death talking and I thought almost suicide, but no that was not to be. This is creative and really catches the reader interest. A quick read, dark, kind of melodramatic and family friendly all in one scoop. Thanks! Have a good one.
Randome Review link brought me to older small love poem and I enjoyed. Easy to understand, and Ta Da done. Love like a ocean, perhaps a little more of that imagery to add some more feelings. Just my suggestion.
Enjoy what's left of your day and Thank you for sharing with little me.
Flash Fiction one of my favorites to read, and Random Review link brought to this impactful little story. Simple subject that so many of us do, lay in bed at night and overthink, but the ending was fantastic, not where I thought we were going at all, and being so short kept my attention. I enjoy what we we fear in the dark. I see no errors, and the pacing is spot on. Easy to read and understand. Thanks for sharing, I'll be back.
Morning Chris Breva Random Review brought me to your poem, and my humorous dark muse is laughing. What a great small poem, I had to look a Lipogram up. interesting. There are not many poems out there that truly have a punch line, ones that leave so little to the reader, and yet the journey is made.
No bombs haha! This had Bruce Willis screaming Yippee Ki Yah Mother .....! in my head. Thanks for sharing and the laugh, it was unexpected but appreciated. Have a great day and keep them coming, I'll be back.
I normally don't review stories, as I don't write them and feel unqualified. I see no errors, didn't enjoy the font used but that a me problem and my eyesight. Well written, some bondable characters.
Stand out line:
She and the other marksmen sent arrows flying into the serpent's giant maw. It hissed and writhed in pain.
Highland type games set in a fantasy world, with Kings and castles, nice! Creative and enjoyable, Thank you for sharing and have a good one.
One of my favorite poetry forms, part because they are creative, but easy. Positivity helps everything, and being grateful for the small things can bring happiness, I think we as a society realized this during covid.
This is good, and the mild peek into religion isn't overpowering. Thank you for sharing, and again for your review. Enjoy you day and Write On.
I found my way to this creative poem through our What to Review page and am out of my zone and enjoying myself. I work retail have for most of my life besides when I was younger I delivered retail. This brings back lots of memories as literally being on the other side.
I'm not familiar to a lot of forms but this is quite entertaining subject, and says so much in so little.
The crowds push forth undignified,
and grab at wares unjustified.
Is my favorite line, and honestly flashes some Black Friday sales. Well written and edited, and truly a joy to read and re experience my own moments in retail. Thank you very for sharing with me. Write ON and Enjoy your day wherever you may be.
I found this trippy poem on the What to review page and find this well written even if the word usage is a little over the laymen. I enjoy quantum theory but don't suggest I know a lot. This is a trip feelings as if they were the void of space, like a wormhole, only the ship is time, and the yesterdays and and todays and tomorrow don't happen in time cause it's in your head.
I have no suggestions and enjoyed this poem, very creative. I might be overthinking it, but that's a good think when well written poetry takes one down a rabbit hole. Enjoy your day and Thank you for sharing.
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