This is in response to your request for a review through "Invalid Item"
Well what a considerate person you are!
I totally agree, that sometimes, it's very time consuming to search for contests, which give a prompt.
This prime spot in your port, helps with those problems. There are a vast selection of contests posted here, by those running them, and it gives a good selection of interesting ones to enter.
I came across this wonderful biographical essay in your port, and was so happy I read it!
It gave me a wonderful welcome in Irish (is that Gaelic?) and then lead me into an explanation of your handle and change to the new one!
It was also very interesting to read the feedback on the old handle - 4 provinces - which you did clearly, and in an easy to read, way.
The photos are great and the page is set out, with links to other pieces written by you, in a very appealing way! You also have a great sense of humour!
Thanks for sharing an insight into you and for being so caring, through your end comments.
What a hilarious monologue. I think you should take up acting too. You'd make a great actress! Maybe you could do a double act with your son! LOL
The whole piece flowed well. I was very interested to follow your experience, and found it was quite a trip! Delayed planes, dumping luggage, rushing to the theatre for six hours in a row, of the same play??!! You are definitely a loyal mother!
I was also interested to read about the actual play at the end. It sounded great!
As I'm in your port, I decided to review this one too. What an interesting Sci-Fi piece, which really made me jealous. I think Jenna has a great job and great environment. What I want to know, is how I can change places with her!
The story had some good scene setting, descriptions and imagery. It flowed well, and was definitely a preview of what the future might hold.
Jenna's character unfolded well, and the story was carried forward by her thoughts and background information.
A very entertaining piece, which concluded with a mystery, which left me wondering what her fate could be.
Are you thinking about extending this one? I think it could be a good novella, leading back to the last scene, and maybe explaining it with a twist at the end.
Well done.
Frankies Girl
Suggestions/Observations
Have a look where puncutation could be improved.
Thoughts would stand out more in italics.
Your item description was interesting.
The questions you have used in the opening part, are definitely being utilised in today's commercial world. It's quite frightening really, that potential employers, need to see your character first. What happens if you're having an off day?
What beautiful memories you have, of a past and very much treasured friendship.
You have clearly written about the emotions, that friendship gave you, and how much fun you had. You have allowed us to share those moments, and have described the difference between you and your friend, and the way you complimented each other.
The second stanza, sadly shows regret on your part, that the friendship has now ended. I believe though, that with such strong friendships, time and personal responsibilities, should never change, or stop those moments shared. Maybe, you could rekindle the closeness, in someway.
The poem ended on a positive, note, allowing for those treasured memories never to fade into the past.
The poem flowed well and had lovely imagery and emotions. Well done.
The title, and first line, conjured up in my mind, a happy event - a possible Golden Anniversary.
As I read on, the story began to unfold as something quite different - that of Euthanasia; but described in a very beautiful way.
The images of their eternal love, and the act of losing that physical closeness, (possibly due to a suffering illness) showed how deeply they really cared for each other.
The ending made me cry, and left me feeling the loss she must have felt, but at the same time, the relief in knowing he was no longer suffering.
A very thought provoking piece, which deals with its theme, in a loving way. You have definitely captured well, this moment in time.
As instructed by you at the beginning of the piece, I read this piece slowly, and it felt as though time stood still.
It was an unusual choice of theme, but the effects your words brought, were very vivid and tragic.
The emotions of this dying girl, brought home the fact, that we are all born alone and also leave this world alone. The end message was inspirational, as in her dying moments, she realized she had made her mark on the world; her life had made a difference.
A very interesting poem, which flowed well, with good emotions, scene setting and imagery.
Thanks for sharing.
Frankies Girl
Observation
As she started too slow... should this have been ...started to slow..?
I had to read this piece twice, as it was quite strange.
The story, set in a doctor's office, gave some very good scene setting and dialogue. I thought it was all very surreal.
The doctor was very strong as a character, and the poor patients, didn't stand a chance. The men in blue suits, became their nightmare, and just enhanced the power crazed doctor.
The ending gave a little twist, when I believe, the doctor turned her attention to her very own secretary. I'm sure she would have been next on the list, to be examined by herself!
The piece was written in the present tense, which worked, but I think it would have flowed better in the past tense. Also, some of the descriptions could have been more vivid, with less passive writing. I'm not sure here, if that was intentional to reflect the cold hearted doctor.
The ending completed the circle well, and made me feel, that with enough power crazed doctors as Ms Roberts, in this futuristic setting, we could all well succumb to their conditioning,and even loose our minds. What did you say? Oh yes.....
I'm so glad I had a peek at this folder Petronella. It contains some great shots, which garden enthusiasts would love; photos of your poodle - a really cute little dog; and some great sigs.
It also has a lovely photo of you with a spectacular mountain view in the background.
A very interesting folder, which I thoroughly enjoyed viewing and rating.
First of all you have set out the poem in an attractive visual way and the colour, was very easy on the eyes.
The flow was good and the message came through, of unrequited love.
Your genre description shows it biographical, and I could feel your love and apprehension in your lines.
The sentiments were likened to a song and that brought to mind, the melancholic rhythm of your emotions.
Your final question and answered tied up all the loose ends for me.
Thanks for sharing and I wish you better luck next time - a friendship is still beautiful too.
Good luck in the contest.
Frankies Girl
Suggestions
In your last stanza, line one - the flow would be better if you inverted the words 'finally' and 'I' eg. When I finally asked her
In your last stanza, last line - She smiled and she answered, "just a friend." Might flow better as She smiled as she answered, "Just a friend." What do you think?
I've been meaning to review this piece for ages and have just got around to it.
I found your honest and very open account of why you write, to be very inspiring.
You have given your past a knock on the head, and used those negative experiences to drive you to greater things.
I really feel that you are now on the road to your true destiny and have also recouperated lost relationships with your family - something to be treasured and enjoyed.
I am saddened by your past suffering, but am so glad that you have managed to finish your first draft of your novel. I would be interested to read it, if you ever put it up. I'm sure it'll be a winner!
Thanks so much for sharing this piece and I loved your positive and very strong message in the last lines of this personal article.
Frankies Girl
Observations
You have some typos that need correcting and check where punctuation could be improved.
I found this a very interesting account of you and your feelings and then your 'Fleeting Moments' (how about that for a title suggestion?) on the train.
It was written well, and gave good descriptions of your surroundings, thoughts and the mysterious girl on the train.
Your questions were good, but you need to keep to the same tense throughout. You changed from past to present and back again.
It's a great shame, after seeing someone who you could relate to, that you didn't take the chance to talk to her. (Missed Chance, could be another suggestion for a title.)
Well done and I hope you find her again, or at least someone who can fulfil your needs to relate.
I think this is an absolutely brilliant idea for starting a Writer's Support Group in Rochester, Minnesota. I'm sure fellow readers, who live in the area, might jump at the chance to meet personally.
Your list of activities, sound really interesting, and I'm so sorry that I live across the otherside of the world - otherwise I would have joined you!
Good luck with your project.
Frankies Girl
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #858147 by Not Available.
This is an excellent article for the BUSINESS Newsletter.
It puts forward good general arguments. I feel it would help encourage family members to visit their loved ones suffering from Dementia or Alzeimer's. In particular, at this home where you work.
You have given wonderful and clear examples of patients, and written it in a caring and easy to read way.
Having also worked with sufferers of these two conditions, and experiencing it first hand with family members, I think your article will make a difference to those who really need comfort in the form of visitors. I'm of the opinion, that family members and friends are sometimes have the attitude that their loved ones wouldn't know the difference anyway. In your article, this idea has definitely been dispelled!
Well done for an informative and very worthwhile piece of reading. Thanks for sharing.
Frankies Girl ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
I was attracted to this article by its very unusual title.
I must say, you have set out the contradictions and questions of this arguement, in a very easy to read way - a discussion between the Soul and the Body.
Although, I don't agree with some of the opinions and questions, that the Soul and Body have throughout their conversation, I found some valid points in some of your philosophical lines, and understand the message you're trying to convey.
You ended the article at an interesting point, and I guess I'll have to make up my own mind, as to where this argument might eventually end.
I say CELEBRATE LIFE AS LONG AS YOU CAN AND THEN CELEBRATE DEATH - FOR THE END AND BEGINNING OF ANOTHER CYCLE OF EXISTENCE
An entertaining piece.
Frankies Girl
Suggestions
Check where punctuation could be improved.
You have various typos. in the text which need correcting.
This item left me thinking about the choice between 'good' and 'evil' in general.
You have given some good descriptions and emotions, with questions from the mind of Lucifer. The creation of man, with free will and Lucifer's chance to spread his evil, came over very strongly.
The piece was well written and gave some interesting views on your interpretation of the on going battle between the 'two sides of the coin.' You have touched on the theme of 'imperfection in man' and left it at an interesting point, open to interpretation and discussion.
Well done!
Frankies Girl
Further comments
You have some typos. in the text which need correcting.
Capitalize obvious new lines.
Maybe you could take advantage of the genre keywords, to attract more readers.
This was the second and last item in your port, so I decided to review it.
It began with such wonderful visions, through the eyes of child, of love and trust in a beloved father.
Your stanzas flowed in a logical sequence and detailed all the moments and emotions with this father, and how his 'invisible Band-Aids' were the miracle cure for everything.
As I read on, and followed the child's growth, another contrasting theme was sadly revealed. The realization of the loss of those magic Band-Aids and the betrayal of a father's trust and a child's innocence.
Once again, thank you for sharing such a personal experience, and I wish you healing light.
I don't have words to describe the emotions your letter evoked in me!
At the beginning, when reading your introduction, I couldn't understand why you would want to write a letter and not send it! I sadly found out why it was impossible to send.
The letter was written in a caring and loving way. You have included all the events as they happened, allowing me to feel your pain. I'm sure the recipient has read it from where he is, and that he wishes that your feelings of guilt will heal with time. Your dream also, I believe was a beautiful gesture from him to forgive your thoughts at that time.
I'm sure he's in a good place and thank for sharing such a personal and tragic experience.
I definitely believe in love and this piece is an admirable dedication to that wonderful emotion and, I believe, gift.
Your poem began with sad words, which vividly showed your unhappiness and empty heart. As it progressed it seemed to reveal a new *yellow*dawn about to break in your life.
The ending was the beautiful *yellow* sunshine filled day, you'd so longed for. Finally, love and happiness took the place of the lonely and empty shell that once was you!
A very inspirational piece, which was very easy to read and flowed well.
Well done and thanks for sharing!
Frankies Girl
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.29 seconds at 3:26am on May 02, 2024 via server web2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
Suggestions/Observations 
and happiness