Hi fyn   I'm happy mommy  and I'm doing this port raid to fulfill your package purchase in "Invalid Item"  This is Review 4 of 10.. Please remember all comments, suggestions and corrections are merely my personal opinions, given in a gesture of encouragement from one writer to another. These are in no way a reflection of you as a writer but myself as an editor. I hope you can embrace this review with the nature it's been presented and find something positive to take from it.
 FIRST IMPRESSION: You do a good job of showing your fear of storms. You also show the nature of animals, who can sense a storm before it gets there. When they run in circles, it's time to move. I can sympathize with you. I hate storms too. Living in Tennessee, we get our fair share of tornadoes, though I have been lucky(knock on wood) to never have been in one myself. Only witnessed them on tv or heard about them from someone else. Last year, my father was driving down the highway, with a tornado on each side and one behind him. It's crazy. We had a tornado coming to our town from each direction. One tornado tore down the main highway 100 feet behind our house, another went 300 feet in front of our house, and one landed on the house behind the fire department, which is a quarter mile from us. We didn't get anything but rain, wind and a bit of hail. We got lucky.
 THOUGHTS: The descriptions, actions, dialogue, disbelief, fear and confusion all come through loud and clear. I'm not sure that the woman would have been so calm about a tree landing on her home, unless I guess she had the money to fix it. I'm also not sure about how she remained so calm, even though a tornado was happening. Maybe if you've been through a bunch, it's easier to keep from panicking but they still scare the crap outta me.
 ERRORS: There were no grammatical errors, typos, misspellings, overly repeated information, or repetitions of words.  for the good work here.
 FAVORITE PART: I enjoyed how the trailer park, the place all weather people say are the most dangerous, remained unharmed. And how the dogs ran in circles right before the tornado hit. These are signs of real events and work very well with the story.
 SUGGESTIONS: There is nothing I would suggest changing or improving. Keep up the good work and thanks for sharing.
 RATING: I rate this for story/poem structure and entertainment combined. I feel it's better to rate for a combination of these two components rather than just entertainment alone, so that the writer can see how their item affected the reader as a whole, at that moment.
 Happy Writing,
Sara 
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for story/poem structure and entertainment combined. I feel it's better to rate for a combination of these two components rather than just entertainment alone, so that the writer can see how their item affected the reader as a whole, at that moment. I hope you have found this review helpful. Keep up the good work and thanks for sharing. Have a great day.
