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Rated: ASR · Book · Nonsense · #2242700
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#1003284 added February 10, 2021 at 8:48pm
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The Queens Croquet Ground
A Most Ridiculous Game

Tactiball Overview

Tactiball is a game played with two to three distinctly different rounds of play per game depending on whether it’s professional style, college / high school style or primary school style play. Generally there are two opposing teams per game.

Amateur games usually take place as parts of a tournament, several consecutive games where in the winners go on to the next round of competition and the losers are left to spectate. Amateur tournaments can take place over the course of a day or a weekend.

Round One- trivia bowl

In primary style the first round is the question round where the players play trivia bowl style wagering to win tokens from the other team. In high school style they either wager for tokens or the number of turns that will occur in the next round. In college style they either wager the number of turns in the next round or omit this round entirely. In professional style they omit this round

Round Two- board play

In primary through college play they play this round on boards. The round ends either when all the tokens have been played or the number of turns wagered for have passed. (Occasionally when pressed for time they will play this as a timed round.) The round is started with each team having placed one token anywhere in the first zone of the board. During each turn the team can make up to one more move than the number of tokens on the board. (In college play this cannot exceed 5 moves per turn.) When tokens were the object of wager in the previous round then each team must add at least one token to the board each round. At the end of the round the number of players for the next round is determined by the number of tokens both live on the board and un-played in the round relative to the total number of tokens at the beginning of the round. (If 3/4 of the tokens are "live" or un-played then 3/4 of the team plays in the next round.)

Round Three- The ball round

It's basically like dodge ball. The number of players in this round is dependant on the previous round. The court is divided into three zones all parallel to the line dividing one side from the other, usually they just use the center line of the basketball court. There are no rules restricting players of specific positions to specific zones. They are free to move from zone to zone. The round ends when all opponents have been injured or killed or until the preset time limit is up at which point the team with the fewest "dead" or "injured" players wins.
Zone three, or the front zone, is the widest zone, any
hit or touch other than to the hands* even one rolling on the ground counts as a "kill". (*As long as the ball has touched the floor or is a clean catch, contact with the hands doesn't count.) Zone two, or the mid zone, is the second widest zone, only fresh contact hits "kill", rebounds or ground rolls count as an "injury" and the player must play from a seated position on the floor. Zone one, or the rear zone, is the narrowest zone, fresh hits only "injure" grounders have no effect. Players remain "dead" or "injured" only until the end of the quarter.

Zones can be "captured", by "killing" all the opposing team occupying the zone then having one of the team enter the zone. They must then make three shots at the opposing team. The shots, must make full "killing" contact though they don't qualify as kills. Once the three shots have been made the zone is considered captured and any "dead" individuals of the opposing team are captured. Before the three shots are made the invading player can be tagged out by the touch of any player of the defending team which is in contact with a ball. The invading player is then considered "captured". All "captured" players at the end of a quarter are out of the game. The problem with capturing the opposing team's zone is that they can retake the zone at any time before the end of the first captured quarter, merely by "killing” off all the invading team members in the zone. Then all of the "dead" players from the invading team are automatically considered captured, even the ones not located on the invaded territory.

Despite the considerable risks the benefits of a zone capture are great for the invading team. Their rear zone becomes a no-kill / no-injury zone, and all of the qualities of their zones push forward from there into the captured zone; the captured zone becomes their front zone, with all implied qualities, the mid zone moves to their former front zone, and so forth. Also, all the "dead" players in the invading team's rearmost zone are resurrected. Frequently they will pull, "dead" players back into that zone prior to an invasion attempt, in part because all dead players are in jeopardy of capture during an invasion. The problem becomes that such a withdrawal of "dead" players tends to indicate an invasion is forthcoming. Many professional teams make the retrieval of the "dead" a continual maneuver to conceal immanent invasions. While within the rules, multi-zone captures aren't common, because of the severe jeopardy for an invading team.

904 words

The King's Mercy

"Your majesty, I didn't mean to knock over the queen's iced tea!" I said kneeling at his feet, "I beg for your mercy. I could go and get her another glass, as long as I still have my head."

"So, you plead guilty?" He stated.

"Yes, but I feel justice would better be served by my keeping my head and providing her with a replacement glass. I also would like to point out that the grass that the tea was spilled on died. So, I suspect it was poisoned. In my clumsiness, I may well have saved the queen's life!"

The king stared at me and rubbed his beard, "Leave her head in place, and get me the cook!"

119 words

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