Just Jul Lee is just me. I write my thoughts and observations.
Thinking A Few Things Over
DATE: June 30, 2005
Well, first of all, it's the last day of June. Second of all, it's only 20 and a half more days before I go to NYC! Third of all, I need to change...
A few things have been brought to my attention these last couple of weeks. My friendships are superficial. This is something I have always known but never admitted. Most of my friendships end for one foolish reason or another and most the time I'm in the wrong but a few times they have ended merely because I was moving forward with God and they weren't. God is my Everything and I am not going to let Him go again just to have friends. So, I am alone with my Savior again...
Forgiveness is a hot topic button with people. A lot of times Christians pass off forgiveness as not vital in their walk. It is, of course, pivitol in the walk of a genuinely saved person. Salvation is forgiveness of sins, a debt we could never repay, a debt Jesus paid for us just so we can be forgiven and live with Him forever. The breakdown is in human nature, where it always is. We hold grudges and bitternesses against people our whole lives. We are angry with people for things that make no sense and we are disappointed with people when they fail. The Bible states that if we don't forgive, we aren't forgiven. Our debt will be reinstated. And yet, we miss this somewhere in the equation. We believe our unforgiveness is justified and back up our lack of love with statements like, "You don't know what they did to me!" or "I thought you understood where I was coming from!" or "I have the right to not forgive (not love is what you're actually saying) them because they really hurt me!"
Everytime you tell or remember what someone 'did' to you, it's like they are doing it to you all over again. This is the same with good things, blessings, but we are more apt at remembering the bad things, aren't we? I include myself in this little blog about unforgiveness. Daily I have to pray, I have to choose to forgive for it is a lifestyle, a daily course of action that honors God and pleases Him. And, joy unspeakable can be yours once you forgive others.
It is also a choice to love...
The Bible says that if you say you hate your brother (someone on earth, my friends) and love God, you're a liar. How can you hate someone you see and love someone you don't see? It's impossible! Forgiveness is a choice to love. If you say, "I love them but I just can't forgive them!" then you're not being truthful and that is only hurting yourself. Forgiveness is love, love is forgiveness they go hand in hand.
Did you realize that your attitude goes with you to Heaven? Boy, I sure didn't! I thought that since my body was going to undergo some great change that surely my foul, worldly attitude would disappear magically. Well, not true! This foul, bitter, jealous, depressed, worldly attitude will follow me up there and do I really want God to have to deal with it then when He is so faithful to deal with it now? No. I am praying now for God to change my attitude for only He can. I don't want it glossed over, pretty on the outside, horrid on the inside. I want it changed, a brand new attitude, a godly attitude. And I know that God will do as I ask since He's been pressing me to have an attitude change and recently showed me that only He can bring about true change.
Of course, attitude and mouth go hand in hand, so to speak. My mouth just won't stop. I've allowed God to work through me but I haven't completely surrendered my tongue, obviously. Gossip is under control but it isn't gone, which it should be. I always find time to whine, gripe and complain. Why? Because I'm spoiled! God knows it, I know it and, well, now you know it. I don't have lots of money or possessions but I am greatly blessed. Instead of rejoicing, I find places to complain. Today and, come to think of it, yesterday as well, I asked God to help me change this. Word vomit is never attractive and Christians should spread the Good News not the daily blues and blahs of their life.
Which returns us to joy! I want joy unspeakable, the cup that overflows, the laughter from the well of salvation and love, I want to be a light to the world, I want people to see Jesus when they look at me, I want everything that my Everything has for me!
Thank You, Jesus, for saving me and for speaking to me still. Thank You, Lord, for everything You've done and continue to do for me, for all You've given and for all You've taken away. Thank You, God, for holding me in Your hand constantly, for loving me and protecting me, for watching over my dreams and guarding my heart. Thank You...thank You!