by thea marie
What's on my mind....
|I knew that I was overweight. For some reason, I've always harbored the notion that I was too heavy, even back when I was wearing a size five, three decades or so ago. But when the scales registered a three-digit number that started with a 2 and had numbers other than zero following it, I knew that I had let things go way too far.
I noticed that I had begun to avoid situations that would put me with people that I hadn't seen in a long time. Friends from home would be in town and call wanting to visit, and I would make excuses not to see them. And then, it seemed that there were more things going wrong with my heath. Nothing major, just problems that I hadn't ever had experienced before. The elevated gluten and cholestoral level really got my attention.
At first, I was able to fool myself with the excuse that these heatlth things were happening because I was getting older. Everybody knows that as you get older, stuff starts happening. Not big deal; that's life. My lethargy I attibuted to just being tired, the irritability to boredom and frustration with my job, and my reduced productivity to whatever.
All of my life, I have been a sugar addict. As far back as I can remember, sugar has been my drug of choice. Candy, ice cream, pastry, if it was sweet, I had to have it. I even took up drinking coffee just so I could put sugar and cream in it. Along with sugar, I also have a thing for bread. White, wheat, French, Italian, donuts, danish, anything with yeast, which when I think about it, acts on sugar. It was one of those things that I knew all along what my problem was, but I didn't want to face it.
So I did what I normally do with most problematic situations that will allow me to put them off, I made excuses, ignored the real issue, and let it slide.
But I'm not as young as I used to be, and one of my greatest fears is being old and broken down. I do not want to be old and too feeble to take care of myself, having to rely on others to see to my well-being. For as long as I can, I want to be the best me I can be. So I took action.
I cut out all the deliberate sugar. It's hard to avoid completely as its in so many things. But for a person with my affinity for it, cutting back sugar like I have is the same as cutting it out. Breads also had to go. Since Dec. 27, I have probably only had the equivilant of two slices. I haven't really embraced any particular "diet", per se, but I have been a lot more mindful of what and how much I put into my mouth. Also, for the past few months I (with two of my girlfriends) have been working out for an hour right after work, twice a week, with a personal trainer. Two hours a week probably doesn't sound like a whole lot, but for a sedentary slug like me, that's running the Boston Marathon.
I feel so much better about myself. This morning, I found that I could fit into an outfit that I haven't been able to wear in two years. I thought about all those things I've given to the Goodwill in the past couple of years with the idea that I'd never, ever be able to get into them again. But that's okay. I can deal wth clothes that are too big or having to purchase some new things. Before I took the steps to change, I was on my way to having to buy new things because Iwas too big.
I still have a way to go, but I feel so much better because I took control and made a bad situation into something positive. I don't know what the future holds for me. Maybe something else will turn me into a feeble, sickly old lady that someone will have to take care of down the line, but I'm going to keep doing my part to work against that possibility.