Y Ddraig Goch

June 10 June - Love and Life

Prompt: Life "Life is a song - sing it. Life is a game - play it. Life is a challenge - meet it. Life is a dream - realize it. Life is a sacrifice - offer it. Life is love - enjoy." Sai Baba What do you love about life?

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Life is what you make of it. It's what you put into it. It's the stance and perspective you take when it throws coconuts at you. It's hard work. And tears. And heartbreak. As much as it's joy and happiness and fluffy bunnies. It is also the only one we have - there are no do-overs.

And that is what I think I love about it. I like that it can be messy. I appreciate the pain it can bring and lessons that follow. I like that it's fragile, because it matters and should be nurtured. Sometimes it's only after the storms that you appreciate the calm. It's often the storms that bring the perspective. It's certainly not the highs... which are often short-lived and hollow.

When we were trying to have our first child, we really struggled. We had to go through IVF... and because the doctors didn't really know what was wrong (we were are the very start of the journey) we didn't know if the procedure would work. Was it the fertilisation that was the problem....? the implantation...?

We had be granted three rounds of IVF on the NHS (seriously the NHS is amazing and I was so lucky and grateful to be in the UK during this time). I had started the daily injections - I actually got pretty damn good at turning myself into a pincushion - the eggs would be ripened and collected and then fertilised.

I was responding to all the hormones and felt like a fat bottomed chicken. But there was no guarantee that the eggs would be of a high enough grade, or that they'd fertilise and develop into embryos, or that the implantation would happen, or stick and that was before the normal pregnancy pitfalls....

My point is, a lot of things could go wrong and it might never work... that was a hard thing to admit / comprehend.

In fact, the whole process can be so stressful that it can break couples apart. We had to go for counselling around this issue to make sure we were prepared and going into things with open eyes (nhs again... I love you).

It was during these sessions that I had to contemplate my life. I had to examine what mattered. And as it turned out what mattered was my husband and my furbaby. I remember sitting in the car and realising that even though I'd be devastated if it was just the three of us that I would be ok. That they were enough for me.

It's when I realised I loved my life. I love my husband and the life we have made. I love the twists and turns of our journey (once we are at the otherside). I am lucky that I get to love my son and daughter. Because the IVF worked and H came tumbling along two years later, naturally.

I still love my furbaby... and now I love my scaley baby... lol

I hate that my car got stolen, but I love that I have multiple friends who wanted to help out, two even offered their cars...

I love my family overseas. I love the ones not here anymore.

There is a lot to love.