Ins and Outs of my Life

Thinking things--I'm a nut!!

One thing about a journal is that you can write things that you wouldn't share with people in person or else they might wonder if you had a screw loose somewhere. O.k. we all do things or think things. One thing I tend to think about is strange. It seems to come in my thoughts late at night when I am in a halfway state of sleep. You might say it is kind of like a dream. I have this thought usually when I am stressed or very busy in my life. I dream that I have fell into this coma and no one can figure out why. But I can hear everything yet I can not wake up. That last sentence is true for i am usually dreaming it but can not wake up. I feel in my dream and in real life at the time I am dreaming paralyzed and can not move or talk as hard as I try. In my dream I am trying to talk to my husband but can't . But the nice thing is I am enjoying the sleep and rest that the coma provides for me because I never get to rest. My husband is whispering sweet nothings to me. He does do that in real life. But he is talking to me in my dream too.
So when I wake up I try to analyze this dream and think how dumb it was. Yet I thinkthe thought of enjoying being in a coma in my dream -- it comes from me not having time for myself in my life-- what with being a mother, wife, daughter, sister, teacher and so many other roles that I can not begin to even think about. I think I do get tired and run down. It would be nice to just sleep for a while and then wake up and live my life refreshed. Has anyone else had strange thoughts or dreams? I call this a thought because after I dream it-- I think about it. Even though it is corny. I know in reality it would be horrible for my family and for me. I would miss out on so much, esp. my children even if it is only a couple of months. O.k, I think I will just take a mini vacation instead of the coma thing!!!!! Our brains can be so weird sometimes. I know I have been in a tired stage as I can't catch up on my sleep and I feel cranky lately. I guess our dreams tap into that subconscious part of ourselves. I know I am in a tired mood as I can not even think straight lately. Tonight I could not even remember where a resturant was in town that I have been to several times. I really think forgetting to take my cholestrol medicine may be making me feel like this. Someone told me that when you have high cholestrol, your memory can be affected. I didn't think much of it. But since i had been on the medicine, I had been so much better with the brain fog and being tired. I went a week without the medicine and it is all back. That may be why I am having the coma dream AGAIN!!!!!