My Right Patella Recovery

Up All Night

I have been up all night due to the pain in my right leg. It is hard to discribe the pain really but I shall try my best. The pain is running throughout my right leg up and down. It is kind of a dull throbbing pain that won't go away and does not allow me to get comfortable.

Ever since my injury this has been nothing new. I am used to sleepless nights because when I was pregnant with my now 9-month-old daughter I would have one sleepless night after another.

The problem is: that I feel I cannot sit, I cannot lay down, and I cannot stand up. I go from sitting to standing to walking as a constant non-stop routine every 20-30 minutes. This is hell.

All I want is a release from the pain without using pain medication. The pain is actually not bad enough for me to even reach for the medication so the fact that I have medication does not matter at this time. I really need to save it for the times from which the pain is so bad that I can no longer hold back the tears.

For now it is 5:40am and I need to try and get some rest. For all it is worth I need to try and catch a few hours of sleep because that is all I am probably going to get today. My son will probably be home all day because it is snowing outside and thus he will more than likely have the school day off. I am not sure about my daughter yet but she may or may not be going to daycare; it all depends on how bad it is outside and if the my provider has room because of school being cancelled. For now though I wish you all a good morning.

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I am more myself in solitude. For in solitude I am myself.
-(c)Melia Benjamin, August 2000

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