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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/books/entry_id/672817-You-Know-Youre-Getting-Old-When
by Kenzie
Rated: ASR · Book · Writing · #1160028
Fibro fog, pain, writing sandwiched in between. Quotes. Sermon notes. Encouragement.
#672817 added October 22, 2009 at 11:04am
Restrictions: None
You Know You're Getting Old When...

Feel free to comment and add your own thoughts about growing old.

You know you're getting old when...

Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
Hmmm. Wonder if that really works.

Your back goes out more than you do.

You wake up, looking like your driver's license picture.

It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.

The pharmacist has become you new best friend.

You're suffering from Mallzheimer's disease. You go to the mall and forget where you parked your car. I don't think you have to be old for this one. In fact, I think there are mall gremlins who move cars around in the lots. Have you ever seen how many people wander around saying, "Here car, here car." That's why they invented those car finder thingies that come with new cars. *Smile*

Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

Things you buy now won't wear out.

You light the candles on your birthday cake, and a group of campers form a circle and start singing "Kumbaya." I love this one...except that I don't know anyone who sings Kumbaya anymore. I asked some kids about that a few years ago - teens who had been to camp - and they thought I had gone nuts.

Your new easy chair has more options than your car.

You find yourself beginning to like accordion music. This made me giggle. When I married my first husband - you know, the abuser - our only music at the reception was an accordion player. He was actually pretty good. Played both old classics our parents wanted to hear and many of the newer things. And of course, the Pennsylvania Polka and lots of other polkas. Back then, we listened to Lawrence Welk, for pity's sake. Of course we listened to accordions. And every year at the county fair, there were students showing us how easy it was to play and accordion music instructors trying to recruit new students.

You begin every other sentence with, "Nowadays..." Or with, "back in the day" or"when I was a kid" or...

Your childhood toys are now in a museum.*Laugh**Laugh**Laugh**Laugh**Laugh*

The car that you bought brand new becomes an antique. You know... When my sister was married back in September, hubby and I wandered through a car show. (We had no choice, since it was blocking the street in front of our hotel for 2 days.) How surprising it was to see an 86 and 89 Monte Carlo. Then I got to thinking....my 1992 Chevy Cavalier isn't too far from becoming a classic herself.

You sing along with the elevator music.Nah. Never. Well...maybe if it's something from the Beatles.*Smile* I heard "Hey Jude" in the elevator one day. Sure was glad I was alone.

Neighbors borrow your tools.

People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?" And they might have?

You have a dream about prunes.

You send money to PBS.

You get into a heated argument about pension plans.

You got cable for the weather channel.

You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it. This one got to me too. I feel sooooooooooooooooo old when the neighbors around us party until 2 a.m. and it keeps me awake. Why don't I join them? For one thing, I was never asked. For another, by then they are pretty drunk. And when you're the only sober person at a party, it's not fun. That doesn't mean I don't take a drink now and then. But getting drunk? Nah. I already have enough problems with pains and nausea. And I take enough medications that it looks like a pharmacy at our house. If I want to drink, I have to plan in advance to not take meds. But, yes, if we threw a party, our neighbors would definitely not realize it...since, to them, parties are LOUD.

Everything that works hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work.

Your mind makes contracts your body can't keep.

You know all the answers, but nobody asks the questions.

You don't remember being absent minded.

You get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.

Awww.  Such a cute angel.

"My Favorite Neighbor
"Sharing Sunshine...It's What I Do!
"Admirable Women
"Whose Work Are You Stealing?
"The Potter's Cup and Saucer

© Copyright 2009 Kenzie (UN: kenzie at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
Kenzie has granted Writing.Com, its affiliates and its syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/books/entry_id/672817-You-Know-Youre-Getting-Old-When