Book version of my John Wolfstone story
|John then got back on the stage, and looked at the audience.
“Now,” he said. “Jeff Snapjaw wrote a note for me, which I found in his desk. In it, he says that I am the one who is best qualified to take on the role of school principal. Now obviously, he intended that I was to get the job when he either retired or died of natural causes. However, he placed his faith in me, in that I can do the job. So, this is what I have to ask the teachers: Is there any of you to dispute the claim of Jefferson Johnson Snapjaw, and if so, explain the reason as to why I should not be the principal of the school?”
“You’re too young,” shouted an elderly male naga.
“And how long have you worked here?” John asked.
“Over forty years,” the naga said.
“And what have you done to try and improve the school during that time?” John asked.
At this, the naga said, “I guess I best rest my case, though I still say you’re too young.”
“Well, I’ll say this,” John said, as the naga sat back down. “He does bring up a good point, I am young. However, even the most elderly of people were young at one point, and prone to making mistakes. I, myself, will probably many several of my own, before I get on my feet, as it were. Now, besides my age, are there any other reasons as to why I should not be principal?”
“How about the fact, that, you are of human blood?” asked a two hundred foot tall giant, who was the gym teacher, who was the successor of the one John had permanently crippled.
He was speaking through a hole in the ceiling, which was a sun roof. Also, for the most part, his classes were either taught outside, or in a special building with a glass ceiling.
John looked up at him and said, “You’re right, Jonny Tootall, I am of human blood. In fact, I embrace it, which is why I am usually in this form, this weak, human, form. However, did you know that in proportion to their body weight and size, humans are stronger than giants?”
“Impossible," the man said. "I can carry ten thousand pounds.”
“Ah, but you are what, at the very least, twenty thousand pounds,” John said, with a sly smile.
“Yes, I am close to that weight," the giant said. "What is your point?”
“Well, when I went to collage, I saw a three hundred foot tall, thirty thousand pound, giant, and six foot, two hundred pound human challenge the other to a contest using weights,” John said, still looking at the man.
“Let me guess," the giant said, crossing his arms. "The giant won.”
“Not even close," John said, with a chuckle. "That giant lifted a mere weight of twenty thousand pounds. That human though, he lifted an impressive three hundred fifty pounds worth of weight.”
“Still sounds like the giant won to me,” the man said, giving John something of a nasty grin.
“True, the human lifted less weight over all," John said, as he returned the man's grin, with one of his own. "But, that giant lifted two pounds of weight to every three pounds of his body. The human lifted three and a half pounds to every two pounds in his body. Now, when I last checked, I think that a ratio of 2:3 was less than a ratio of 3.5:2, or in another way, 4/6 is less than 6/6 which is less than 10.5/6. Now, unless you plan on going on a diet, Mr. Tootall, wouldn’t grabbing a second plate of food that was three-fourths of the way full sound a lot better than just having only one plate that was only two-thirds of the way full?”
“Yah," the man said, after a bit of thinking. "It would.”
“Well, that means that you just admitted that humans are, proportionally, stronger than giants,” John said, with a chuckle.
At this, Mr. Tootall became very quiet.
Then John said, with a strange smile on his face, “Of course, if having human blood is a reason for me to not be principal, than by that reasoning alone, you cannot be in the running. After all, I have a very credible source that tells me that your mother is a human.”
“No she isn’t,” Mr. Tootall said, angrily.
“Then, are you trying to tell to tell me that, Maria Tootall-Bigone is not your birth mother?” John asked, seeming to be puzzled.
“No," the man said. "She is my birth mother.”
“Than why is it that, in the city’s records, she is listed as a human?” John asked, as he looked at the giant.
“How do you know this?” the man asked, as his eyes started to widen, wondering how anyone could get that information.
“Simple really," John said, in a conversational manner. "I know someone in the accounting office at city hall. She is very helpful, especially since, she’s one of my nieces.”
“It’s against the law to give out someone’s personal information,” Mr. Tootall said, with a bit of anger in his voice.
“Ah, then in that case, you, and many others, should be arrested for multiple rapes and murders," John said, looking straight into his eyes. "However, people like you seem to get away with it, while humans are executed for them, in the same way that you murder others.”
At this, John growls, loudly, causing Mr. Tootall to back up, and trip, falling into the middle of the road.
“Oh Jonny boy,” John said, loudly. “Do get back here, so we can finish this discussion.”
As Mr. Tootall crawled back to the schoolyard, he sat on his knees, and didn’t bother trying to stand at his full height. He was scared, because he had seen John Wolfstone’s eyes, which were filled with a cold, burning, hatred, as if he despised something about him.
“Now let’s see here,” John said. “You say that your mother is not a human, while the city says she is. Well the funny thing is, both you, and the city, are right. Your mother’s birth parents are indeed giants.
'However, she was born the size of a human baby, and grew at the same rate as a human. By the time she stopped growing, she was only six feet tall, a snack to someone of your size. However, despite the fact that your grandparents were several times larger than her, at four hundred feet, they still gave her the greatest of care, probably hoping that she’d grow, at least, to the size of a small giant, say fifty feet. Of course, she was still only the size of a tall human.
'However, she met your father, probably early on in life, and married him. Now, there is the question of how she got pregnant with you. I have four possible ideas, two of them dangerous for her, with one of them being somewhat annoying for your father, a third involving your father giving her a shower, as it were, and using a towel to help her out, and the fourth, which is the most probable one, a doctor helped them out, with him placing some of your father’s sperm in a container, held onto your mother, in such a way, as to cause your father’s sperm to enter her fallopian tubes, and become pregnant with you.
'Then, there was the pregnancy itself. At some point, you had to be removed from her, and placed inside of a surrogate, probably one of your aunts. After all, any giant woman can give birth to a baby weighing several hundred pounds, but a human woman would have trouble giving birth to a fully developed child weighing twenty pounds, let alone giving birth to one several times her own size and weight.
'Now, let’s talk about my mother. My father and her, they had trouble having children, after all, it took them almost forty years before they were blessed with me, so, they did the next best thing, they adopted.
'By the time I came along, my mother and father, had adopted over seven hundred children, and were still adopting them by the time I left for collage. I wouldn’t have been surprised if they had died while adopting a child, though, from what my siblings told me, they died at home, though they still adopted until that point.
'Now, my mother and father had their work cut out for them, rising that many children is no easy feat mind you. I can recall my brothers arguing over things like, who stole who’s toy, who was to help with the dishes, take out the trash, and my sisters complaining about their clothes not being right for the outing, that they had to use this type of makeup, and both of my parents running hither and dale, getting everyone to their appointments, activities, making sure everything was good. Talk about devotion, it was only during the school year that my parents could have any time to themselves, after, of course, my mother retired from being a teacher, and my father hung up his medical license, when I was ten years old.
'Now, now that you know about the devotion my parents had for me and my siblings, let’s talk about yours. Your mother, at the very least, had to clean you, feed you, clothe you, sing lullabies so that you would sleep, and several other things. Given the fact that you are here, she must have done a good job, though it seems she forgot to teach you to respect others. My mother and father made sure that I would, especially after I found out about my size-changing abilities, and helped me out, so that I wouldn’t bust the bed every night at least. They also taught me how to control myself, even if I am hungry.
'Something tells me that if you got hungry, you’d just murder someone, to fulfill that need, or, should I say, desire. Me, I’d just wait, until I was home, warm up some left over venison or beef, from non-sentient animals, and eat that. In fact, I had given my class a very high risk challenge, a pass or fail one, depending on whether or not one of the students could control his hunger for the class period, especially since, he didn’t have breakfast. Well, he did, and so, I passed the class. Heck, I gave them extra credit to do the work that they would have had to do otherwise.
'I don’t think that you, or most others, have even that level of control. Care to say otherwise, Mr. Tootall? Can you honestly say that you wouldn’t eat someone, who was the size of your mother, if you were hungry?”
At this, Mr. Tootall gave a nervous gulp, and shook his head no.
“Well,” John said. “At least you’re honest about it. Now, is there anything else that you think makes me unsuitable for the job?”
“Yah,” said a man, who just came in. “I hear that two of your grandparents were slaves, and slaves can’t own property, same with their offspring, and so forth. In fact, your family is nothing more than a group of outlaws that managed to slip through the cracks of the law, because their respective son, or daughter, was a non-human.”
“And you’re a slave-catcher, looking for runaways,” John said, with a deep level of anger in his words.”
“You have that right,” the man said, with contempt in his voice. “In fact, I hear that you took over the families of your masters, as well as that of the main branch of the Redblood family.”
“Ha! You give me too much credit,” John said. “All I did was beat the three who had the biggest grudges against me. Everything else was just a nice bonus. Besides, I had a little bit of help from my friends, including, a member of the Royal House of Demons of Hell, as well as, a very powerful dark wizard.”
Suddenly, two deep and powerful, voices, one with fire and brimstone, and the other with an overwhelming amount of darkness, said, “Someone called/summoned me?”
On the right side of the stage, a dark black cloud appears, and when it vanished, a man wearing the clothes of a dark wizard emerges, carrying a paper bag.
On the left, a portal of fire opens, and out of it emerges, a ten foot tall red demon, with black horns, with a smaller five foot tall demon, with similar features, next to him.
“Hey James,” John said, looking at the wizard. “Are you here to deliver Julia her lunch? I forgot to grab it on our way out.”
“It wasn’t a problem John,” the wizard said, lifting the bag. “I had gotten it when I heard the call.” The wizard then used a teleportation spell to send the bag to a young girl near the front of the room.
Then the demon said, “Hey John, your sister wants to know if we can enroll Junior in this school. He won’t behave in the one we have in Hell.”
“Sure thing Steve,” John said. “I had a feeling he’d take after his mother when it came to paying attention and following the rules. She always did, because I had to get her out of many situations while we were in school.”
“Thanks John. I owe you one,” the demon said. “By the way, I heard the summons, just as I was about to make a trip here. Is there some sort of trouble?”
“I was about to ask the same thing,” the wizard said.
“Oh, it’s nothing too serious,” John said, with a chuckle. “Me and the others were discussing as to whether or not I should be principal of this school, when that slave-catcher over there showed up, claiming that I am nothing more than an outlaw slave. Can you believe the nerve of some people? I mean, here I am, going about my job, seeing as to whether or not I would be fit to be a principal, when a little cockroach like him shows up.”
“Want me to roast him?” the demon asked, a fireball forming in his hand.
“Hey, I could always use another test subject,” the wizard said, getting a wand out of his pocket.
“Well, I could use a good meal,” a feminine voice said, coming from the wizard’s shirt’s collar.
“Nice to see you to Clara,” John said, with a smile. “However, I don’t think any of that stuff is needed, right, buddy?”
He then faced the slave-catcher, shifted into his werewolf form, and grew until his head touched the glass ceiling, which was seventy feet above the stage.
At this, the mouth of the slaver dropped, and his skin turned pale.
“Not at all sir,” the man said, walking backwards, forcing himself to smile, widely.
Then, he ran.
“Well, get him you three,” John said. “I want to know why he came after me. When you catch him, take him to my place. Besides, I think the Highmans could use a new pleasure toy. They wore the last salesman out the other day.”
At this, wizard looked at the demon and said, “Race yah.”
“Loser buys the winner a drink!” the demon said, jumping into a portal.
“You’re on!” the wizard said, vanishing into a cloud of smoke.