Shellyville Continues

Mistakes?

Hello My Sunny Pals,

"Mistakes show us what we need to learn"

This was from my recent fortune cookie. It has haunted me all night and I need to address this message. I agree. I agree that mistakes are learning lessons. I get that.

So I keep asking myself did I learn anything from my mistakes and what mistakes do I want to address? I mean I have a couple that have been brewing and giving me trouble.

First I get that I made a mistake in losing my love for my (ex)husband. I get that I allowed the distance to grow between us and that I couldn't get it back. I made a mistake in thinking I didn't need him to survive. Actually, I did learn that I don't need him to survive. I am surviving fine on my own. What I do need or at least I seem to think I do need is the financial security.

Then I think about that. I never really had it in my marriage. We were sinking in debt. I was a stay-at-home mom and I didn't have an income. All I had was the belief that Brian was taking care of everything and we were fine. I was living in denial. I was not taking any kind of personal responsibility for myself.

Now that I pay my bills, I understand the flow of income. I get it. I learned a big lesson from this mistake. I know I need to have an income that covers my bills.

Now I can look at my relationship mistakes. I don't like to think of relationships as mistakes. I believe that I meet the people I need to meet. I love the men that need my love and someday I will receive the love I need in return. I think my mistake has been in looking for it. For believing I could go out and find it. It doesn't work that way. Love has to find me and I have to be ready to accept it. I am getting closer to being ready.

Such is life!

Love,
Michelle