Shellyville Continues

Blue Blue Blue

Hello my Michigan buddies,

I am not even into Basketball. I just love Michigan. I couldn't watch the ending of the game because I could feel the shift in the score and I didn't want to see my team lose.

Oh, I know you would call that weak. I am. I am a sensitive girl and I have to listen to my gut. When she tells me to stop. I have to stop.

If only I could understand her emotions better.

I am weak when it comes to a pretty boy. I cried so hard yesterday I thought I was going to get sick. Jackson shared something with us yesterday that broke my heart. He has been having nightmares of killing himself. Every single night he said he sees himself dead.

He is 11 years old. He told the Doctor that he has been feeling this way sense he was 7 years old and the doctor has never been able to help him. He bugged us to stop loving him and let him go. He wants to get out of the nightmare. I don't think he wants to be dead. I think he wants the pain to stop.

I want to shower him with love and light. I want to give him life. I want him to see the beauty in everything. He has to find his joy. I am scared but also confident that now that he shared his nightmares I can help him. I have to know what I am dealing with. It's the silence that can be deadly. He is talking because he wants a way to live.

I can handle this!

Love,
Michelle