Blog started in Jan 2005: 1st entries for Write in Every Genre. Then the REAL ME begins
|Sting came out with a new album, which presents the fruits of his having created a theatrical production called The Last Ship. There are several songs that I really like. I heard a depth to the message in one, while commuting home last night. Not The Same Moon has woven into its lyrics the ideas of perspective and dimension, relationship and connection. When the movie, Interstellar came out, and I saw it for the first time, there were those very same ideas being revealed in startling ways, but which were just there to tie up the drama of the storyline. And yes, this does relate to marriage, although more on that in a bit.
I also really enjoyed a conversation in the car this week, and it was a conversation with a teen -- my own offspring -- yes, I actually enjoyed it. The topic was personal, but talking in general terms about belief, and it showed me that a depth does exist to the thinking taking place in that teen brain. A wonderful moment existed for me in viewing a person and a personality that I can admire. That mind is new, but resilient; independent but questioning. And those are very good things. And I do not need to worry so much about these expressions about life, the universe, and everything BEING RIGHT. They start as questions and even venture into opinion, they are expressions; It is so unfolding to be able to talk with others, we all should encourage more and more expression and listening. Out loud -- not texting, preferably.
Which all led me to an insight about marriage -- one of those: Oh yeah, that's how i feel...wonder if anyone else thinks so moments. Maybe people would be happier if they did? I gotta go tell everyone!
And it is simple, really. To me, when you enter into a marriage, it is a commitment to that person the soul even they are still searching for -- and may, for time beyond one lifetime, be searching for. But people stop looking at that depth of the connection. You think when you've "found someone" that's it. But it is not it. There's a lifetime of tinkering to do. And if suddenly one can't stand the maintenance, what do you do? So many options. Divorce is abandonment. Maybe i just have issues from being a child of Divorce, I think technically i was an adult child, but divorce, marriage, maybe even life itself isn't talked about enough -- no one has a clear picture gong in.
Pretty soon it can be only about a houseful of kids, and judgments about if one person is pulling their weight. Marriage ends in divorce so often because of the things done or not done. I've felt those rat shit emotions -- trust me I get it -- there are good, valid reasons to remove oneself from the company of another. But if the original agreement was based on being love and to be loved why treat it like some corporate contract? I prefer to look at marriage and those vows as two people agreeing to explore the same path in the forest. Those vows, yes the antiquated sounding ones, "in sickness and in health" it's not talking about a specific contractual agreement to stick with someone even if they are bedridden -- it's trying to get the message across that there are circumstances and effects you'll encounter in a human life, but to ignore those. Those things, done or undone, are not what the marriage or that person you marry is about.