Perpetual Ruminations

Sunday

I haven't been doing a very good job of writing in here again, but I think it's understandable with all the chaos going on right now. It not only prevents me from logging in here on a regular basis, but it has also turned this into a place to vent as well. Like I said, it's understandable. Even so, I want to try and break away from some of this.

I can't control the stress and chaos at all, so to say I'm going to write in here every day would be a goal I cannot keep. I don't believe in setting myself up just to fail, so no goal of daily writing. Even if the stress and chaos was to exit my life, I doubt I would write in here daily. Most days, yes, but not every day. There will always be times when other things get in the way, or it just isn't possible. For example, when we are out camping, there just isn't any way to log in here, or online at all; no wifi.

Maybe one day I can afford to carry a hot-spot with me and get online access from most anyplace. But, some of the camping areas are just plain off the grid and don't get tower reception. So, until such a time as we can get complete ground coverage everywhere, even that would not guarantee online accessibility. Besides, one of the things we enjoy about camping is to get away from the daily routine and just enjoy nature. Since my work phone is a cell phone, and much of my job is done on the computer and online, it only makes sense to leave them behind, so work cannot interrupt.

Also, we enjoy hiking, going on bicycle treks, and just taking a day or two day road trip. We pack up our picnic gear, a few other items, and pick a direction to drive. No map, no destination, and no idea what roads we will travel, it's just decided as we go. Many times we have come to a tee in the road and stopped. I'll look over at Rhonda and ask, "What direction?"

On a few occasions, we have slept overnight in the car, and continued on the next day. On one occasion, it turned into a three day and two night adventure, covering over six hundred miles before we were back home. I ask you, how can I set a goal to log daily, when things like this spring up out of thin air? It's not possible, it would destroy the excitement of just acting spontaneous.

Instead of a goal to write in here daily then, I should look at the other side of this coin. The idea is to empty out all that's in my mind. Of course, that includes things related to work as well as at home and anything that comes from these outings. It also should include items that come from the other trips I make.


Not just the physical trips, but those my mind can create with such ease. Of course, I'm talking about imagination. I believe this is an activity much like any physical activity, if it's not exercised, it becomes weak and cannot function as well. For example, there was a time when I could, and did, perform one arm push-ups and pull-ups. I was in great shape, exercising daily. Now, many years later, I have difficulty doing them with two arms!

The problem is work, it takes up a lot of my time. I'm not just talking about the hours I spend at work, often they are under full time. No, if I just did my physical job, as it's normally scheduled, I would have ample time for many things. But, it's always in flux, dependent on who needs to miss a day, or is late, or gets canned, or who quits.

It's at these times that I find myself working full-time, and sometimes over-time hours. Also, it's not the same time each day; currently I'm working my regular early morning shift, but I'm also working two late evening shifts and one afternoon shift. I had to have Rhonda pick up one of my opening shifts to even accomplish this. This bouncing around is difficult, and makes it even harder to try and keep any sort of set routine in my life.

In order to fill the position that was vacated, I also have to preview applications, call and set appointments, and give interviews. Then, if someone is picked and hired, I have to do a good hours worth of paperwork with them. After, I have another half to an hours worth of my own paperwork, faxing, and filing to do. There often is at least one, sometimes two trips from home involved, which is a fifty mile round trip. So, if you take in the time I spend calling and performing these tasks, you can see that to spend five or six hours is nothing.

Then, there's training and uniforms, which also require more of my time, along with all the other tasks my position requires. All this is done on my time, after I am off of work. No time clock, no paid mileage, no extra anything. It's all figured into my regular wage. I get seventy-five cents more for being the supervisor. Hey, don't laugh, I'm serious.

I'm sure that would cover the stress of the position, but that's about it. If I was getting paid for the time I spend doing all these extra activities, you know, on the clock, then I would say it was fair compensation. But that would have me in over-time quite often. The solution would be to pay it as a different job description, but that would be kind of difficult, I would have to have two jobs with them.

No the solution is in higher wages. I figured it up, and at forty hours a week, they pay me for three extra hours, at regular pay; the same as the rest of the guards get. If everything is working smooth, that would about cover it, maybe even a little over compensation. But, very few weeks go that smooth, and even if they did, it does not allow any extra compensation for the stress and responsibility that come with the position, it would only compensate me for my time, paying the same as everyone else. In other words, during normal times, I don't get a penny more than anyone else, they just pay me for the extra time required.

During times like this, I am lucky if I even get a day off, and when I do, I spend part of it doing stuff for work. It would take a minimum of one dollar and fifty cents to just compensate for my time, at regular wages. I would say it would be reasonable to pay supervisors two dollars an hour more, to compensate for time, and for the headache that comes with the job.

But, that's all on the side. The biggest problem is, time. I have to jump all over with shifts, I have to take calls and make calls at various times, I have to be able to drop everything and go give an interview, hire, train, etc.... It makes it very difficult to do anything, and that is the biggest obstacle I need to overcome. It's frustration at the highest level, I have no routine, no set schedule, and no way to set one. In addition, I don't get compensated for this headache, either.

Maybe one day, when the company has grown and advanced, they will compensate us for all that we have provided for them, but for now, it's just a grueling ordeal at times. It makes it impossible to log in here daily, it messes up my creativity something terrible, and it adds a lot of stress and frustration to my life. That leads to me logging in here to write a little, but instead of letting my mind wonder and create, or writing about interesting things in my life, I just vent to release pressure.

All work and no play means there isn't much to write about except for work. It also means that when that work gets stressful and messed up, there isn't even time to write about work some days. And finally, it means that when I do get time to log in and write again, I'm so stressed and tired, all I do is vent.

That is what my goal is to be, to try and break this cycle. I know I will not get in here to write daily, but I will do my best to get in here as often as I can. So, when I do manage to log in to my journal to write about my day, I want to write about the things outside of work. I know they are few, but they are there. It may be pretty boring for anyone to read, since they are so few, but it will give my mind a break from work, and let it focus on the little life I have outside of work.

Now, if I had a bit more time, I could do both. I could have a journal such as this one, and also keep one for work. It's good sometimes to write things out, like I did today; not venting, but writing down just what the job is all about. It makes me see things more clearly, and it also gives me great insight as to what I need to do.

For example, after writing out what my responsibilities are, it's plain to see I am not compensated at all for being the guy in charge and responsible for everything at the site. I also see they don't even give fair compensation for the time it takes to do this most of the time. So, the solution is easy, I need to get higher wages. Sure, I can ask for a raise, and maybe even get one. Then, maybe I would be given compensation for the responsibility that comes with my position, but it still would fall short on paying me for my time. It would help, but it's clear to me that it would not provide me with the time I need to have a life. If anything, they would expect me to be willing to put in even more, if required.

That's how life works, if you get a little more, they are going to want a little more. I know this, and I understand it. I even would be willing to do that in most cases. But, in this case, it's not about doing more. Even if they gave me a two dollar raise and said, "Good job, keep it up," and didn't ask for anything more, it would still not satisfy my needs. It's the time i have to put in, I don't have time left for a life!

No, it's clear what I need to do, I need to find a better job. One that pays better, and one that compensates for added responsibility and stress. But, most important, one that provides me with time for a life. It's unfortunate that these kind of jobs are few and far between, especially in an area that I am qualified to work.

Another point I need to make is not to blame the company. It's a small company, but it has many employees. I know that doesn't make sense, but that's what it is. It's a family company, the president is the father, his son and daughter-in-law work for him, and two others. That's the office staff, and they manage a slew of security sites in three states, as well as a few other security services in a couple more. In all, I think they have people in five, or six states, and the number of people who work for them has got to be over a hundred.

But, like the situation here, most of the people who work as security guards for the company are short term employees. They don't stick around. So, it's difficult to even have any employees, that are not considered temporary; To advance from a temp requires one year of service, and most don't make it, including supervisors. So, the company is geared towards temporary workers who are here today and gone tomorrow. That's part of the reason our pay isn't higher, although we do earn a pretty good wage for the job we do.

I'm talking about the guard service we provide, not the supervisory additions. As for the supervisors, they are much the same bunch, people who are looking for something to hold them over until they find the job they want, so they just don't put much into their jobs. My boss, the Director of Operations, doesn't have much of an office job like he should, he is often on the road to one site or another to cover for supervisors that have up and quit or are not doing their jobs. Now, when most of your supervisors are of this caliber, how can you justify paying them more than they do?

Yes, there are exceptions, and it would be nice to see them get better. But, a company must be fair, or it's only going to create more problems. Since our company is incorporated, our wages are public knowledge and anyone can ask what what we get paid. So, if the company gives me a two dollar raise because I'm doing a good job, they have told me I am, they would have to compensate all the supervisors the same. Only, ninety percent of them are not earning what they get now!

And, like I said, even if I was compensated above and beyond, the demands would be the same or more. We will continue to be short staffed just because it has become so difficult to find good workers. the majority of the work force is greedy and selfish, and they have little or no sense of responsibility. This is true at least around here, but from what I hear from other managers, it's the same all over. Most people want a lot for as little as possible, and they will take every short-cut they can while they complain they want this or that and more.

I -- I guess I'm old school, I believe in an honest day's pay for an honest days work. The two must go hand in hand. And, I believe in starting at the bottom and working your way up. That means new people should not get a big wage. Depending on the job, perhaps not even a living wage. But, they should be able to advance quickly if they are hard workers. If someone gets hired at minimum wage and does a good job, they should get an increase within thirty days. Maybe not a large one, but at least enough to indicate that the company is happy with their performance.

Then, after ninety days, they should get another raise, based on an evaluation. At this time, the company should indicate if the person is eligible to get a permanent position within the company. After six months of employment, they should be raised to the wage of a new employee with full training and understanding. In our job that would be a start at minimum, then perhaps a quarter raise at one month, another quarter raise at three months, and then a jump to ten bucks an hour at six. From this point, it would be an annual evaluation based on the six month promotion to permanent employee to determine the yearly increase.

In today's job market, however, we hire at ten bucks an hour and start them at the same as most of the other guards are getting. Why? Because nobody would even apply if it didn't. They want the money before they earn it! And, even now, we get many who insist it isn't enough; they don't base it on the job, they base it on their lifestyle. I have had more people tell me they need at least eleven or twelve bucks an hour to meet their needs, and not take the job.

What? If your are looking for work, I doubt unemployment is paying you anything even close to what you cold make working for ten bucks an hour, but you won't take the job because you need more. What don't you understand? Your not getting anything now, even less is more.

Of course, we get plenty who apply only to meet the requirements of getting unemployment insurance. They don't even want the job, they just have to apply. Of course, they won't tell me this when I call them. Instead I have to go through all the time consuming parts of setting up an interview and meeting with them. A few will let me know at the interview they are not interested, or looking for something different, but not many. Thank you to those that do. But to the rest, they just say what they need to say to get the job, then don't even show up for training.

There are some who do show up, but then quite after training. And, there are those who do the first day, then never come back. That is what we have been getting lately. These are the ones who cost me and the company a lot of time and money. For me, it's six to ten hours of my time burned up over a week's span. Then, instead of getting a bit of time off after they train and fill the opening, they up and quit, costing time again as I contact my boss and inform the office, return uniforms if they have been sent out, and fill out a lot more paperwork and fax it to the office.

I even tell people at the interview what I am looking for. I then ask them if they are serious about the job, and if they are not, no hard feelings but lets just save both of us some time and let it go right here. Nope, they are serious and want anything they can get, and will stick it out. Then, they start training. I come by and ask again how they are doing and what they think about the job.

Of course, with training, it seems like an awful lot at first. That's why I ask them. They tell me that it seems like an awful lot, and I agree, but tell them the training may be a crash course, but plenty have done well, and they will too. I also tell them I will accompany them for their first day just in case they are unsure. I do this on my time, no compensation; it is an investment I am willing to make to give them a little self assurance and peace of mind. By the end of the first day, they know they did the job just fine and are ready to work on their own.

Then, since everything is going fine, I leave and they finish the first day of training. This is usually a four or five hour day, not bad for a start. What happens next is what boggles the mind. They go home and sometime before they show up on the following day for training, they quit. I'll get a text or a call the evening before or the morning of their last day of training, saying some bull about why they have to quit.

Anyway, if I dwell on that, I may get my dander up, again. It's such a pain in the ass and so much wasted time for everyone. But, these are the times and this is what we have to pick out from the job pool. It leaves a lot to be desired, and it makes one ponder of the future and what it will bring since this is the next generation. It's gotten so bad, that even the older workers are beginning to go this direction. The last person quit, stating he was not going to pay for uniforms.

He knew this at the interview and had no problem with it, he also was told this on his first day of training, when I assisted him in his order. We don't need much, a couple of red shirts that have security written on them, and a coat or jacket, depending on the time of the year. The shirts are ten bucks, the jacket forty and the coat is fifty. The hat is ten bucks, but optional, and they take a little from each check. Starting out, it's usually seventy bucks, and stretched out of the first two months, maybe three. It depends on how many hours a person works.

But, he was fine with it, and no more was said. I sent the fax, then got to come home, after spending another hour or more doing orientation with him. He finished the day and the trainer said he was doing great, and that he was very positive about the job and wanted as many hours as he could get. He had another part time job so scheduling was a bit tough, but I managed it and he was happy with it. He even talked about picking up more hours once school was out. "Sure thing, as much as you want, just let me know."

That evening, just a little after my bedtime, even though I was still up and relaxing. the phone went off, and guess who? Yep, he had decided that it wasn't right to have to pay for uniforms and was not going to finish training. Now, I had one day off a week, and I had spent a part of it doing the schedule for this guy. He had called me around nine in the morning the day before, my day off, and needed to set up a different schedule than he had needed at first.

No problem, I set about doing the schedule over and finished it, wanting to go over it with him the next day, when he started training. Then he called again in the afternoon, shortly after I had finished the schedule. In fact, I had finished it and was looking forward to having the rest of the day as down time. He needed to change the schedule again, his son was going to be visiting. It's a pain, but I got the dates and did the damn thing over, for the third time now, to meet his needs. I printed it off and had just finished in time to start dinner, my day was pretty well shot.

The next day things were great and he was happy with the schedule and everything else. I got home mid afternoon, since training always costs me an hour or two more after work. I had a little bit of paperwork to do, and finished that up, whipped up some dinner for Rhonda and I, wanting to have it ready so we could relax for a while before bed. It had been a hectic week, and this was the first evening I got to just relax. Now, the day before was my day off, so I should have been able to relax that day and night, but I already covered that.

As you can imagine, I was looking forward to a quiet evening with my wife. We both work at the same place, so our schedules are all messed up if we are short on help. This means we cannot get a day off together unless we have a full crew. This adds to the frustration, and it's important to both of us to have the evenings to enjoy and relax together.

We ate and discussed work for a bit, then set about to forget work, enjoy the evening and just relax. We had just gotten settled on the love seat, when the phone rang. It was the new trainee, and he was quitting. Now, since the office sends uniforms out right away, and if the person has not paid for them, I have to send them back. Also, I know there is a lot of time spent setting up a new hire at the office. So, being responsible, I have to do my job.

This meant getting up and going back to work. Not on the site, but on my computer. The office is closed, and I have to get them a message stating what just transpired and stop the shipment of his uniforms, as well as to have all the files updated. The best way to do this is by faxing a memo. I have an online fax service just for this purpose, and set about writing and faxing the memo. Of course, I was also a bit upset because of the lies at the interview and earlier at training. Nothing had changed, he could have and should have told me at the interview that he did not think it right we have to pay for uniforms. He could have also told me during training.

Now, consider that I open and work to eleven, and training is usually set to start at eleven as well. Rhonda does most of our training, after my shift. I see the new hire, talk to them a little and then leave to clock out. Once off the clock, I come back, do the orientation and finish up paperwork. Then, if everything is going well, I fax the paperwork to the office and go home. This guy new I was going to be up for work at three the next morning, and waited to call at eight-thirty at night. I had told him I am usually in bed by eight, why eight-thirty?

It boggles the mind, but that's the job, and that's the problem. How to write when my life is anything but consistent. There are a few things I can do, but it's limited. One thing is to keep regular hours. I have to be reachable by five in the morning when the store opens, just in case nobody shows up. So, my phone hours start at five. The office is open until five at night, and our last shift starts at five, so I need to be available to take calls up to then. Since people are sometimes late, I figure I should be available for an extra half hour. So, phone hours end at five-thirty. That's twelve hours people can call me, but my evenings are now mine.

Even so, I have to allow for emergencies. Things do happen, and sure guards can still leave a message or a text, but I won't get it until five the next day. I am setting it up so they can contact my boss if they can't contact me, but then he needs to be able to reach me as well. So, for emergency situations, they can call my home phone. Even this is not going to guarantee that I will be home, but it's the best I can offer. It's going to be the same for my days off, I just won't be answering my work phone, and they can use my home phone for emergencies, if I'm home. If not, well that's what my boss gets paid to handle.

This will help a bit, and I'm hopeful that we will find at least one more dependable person real soon. I would like to have two dependable people, but that's kind of putting things out there. Maybe, but at least one more would make my job a lot easier. It's just that I have not had in three years at this, a time when there wasn't at least one person who was messing things up. So, one dependable and one not so dependable would be typical, but two more dependable workers would be great.

If I don't get someone hired real soon, I have one day off next week, then it's down to both Rhonda and I working seven days a week, her at fort hours, me at forty-nine. the only other person on right now is the night guard, and he is part-time by his choice. I know he won't like it, but he's also scheduled for thirty-nine and a half hours, but he gets a day off.

In a few more weeks, we will have additional coverage needs, and we will all be working over forty hours a week, but he will still get a day off. Rhonda won't get any time off until we get another person hired. If they can work the hours required, at that time I can get back to one day off and down to forty hours, Rhonda will be back to two days off and thirty five hours, and the night guy will be back to his regular shifts, days, and two days off each week. Once we get another guard after the next one, we can all get two days off a week, and I may even take three days off, but will still be at forty hours. The best part will be, Rhonda and I will both get our two days off, together!

Well, I doubt anyone will read this, and if they do read my ramblings, I doubt they will last to the end. If you do, then you can see I have let my mind open and all this has flowed out. It will relieve a lot of stress, it has opened my eyes to what I already knew, I need a different job, and it's given me some thoughts on how to make the best of the one I have until such a time as another comes along. It also isn't just a gripe to vent, but some thinking and random thoughts as well. Not a bad journal entry at all.