The Gift of Experience: Hope Prevails

Hope in Marriage

23 "At last!" the man [Adam] exclaimed.
"This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called 'woman' because she was taken from 'man.'"

24 This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. -(NLT) Bible Genesis 2:23-24

When two people are married, they should put no other person between themselves and their spouse. Naturally, if we are Christian, God should come first. Children, friends, co-workers, and hobbies should come somewhere further down our list. I have only just learned this principle. I always said after my divorce that no man would ever come before my child. I did not grow up in a Christian home, and wasn't saved until I was 29. My step parent was not a nice person, and my natural parent did none of the disciplining, which is the reason for the vow I made to myself. I refused to let myself drown out my child in favor of my own (what I thought to be) selfish happiness. I didn't understand the concept of balance and priority according to the Word of God.

When you receive someone's hand in marriage, that relationship should be second only to the one you have with God. I learned this concept, by reading my Bible and by listening to and watching the teachings of Jimmy Evans of Marriage Today with Jimmy and Karen {http://www.marriagetoday.com} Had I understood this as a teen, I would have seen why I did not come before my step parent. At the time, though, it was hurtful.

Jesus said, "Love one another just as I have loved the church." Your spouse is the closest person to you. The two of you make big decisions together if your relationship is healthy. I see now how making your spouse your priority and serving one another in love will teach the children to have healthy, functional lives.

It is not Biblically sound to return to your mother or father for comfort and advice when you have committed your life to someone in marriage. Plans, secrets, problems...these are things to be kept among the two of you. Jimmy Evans, Pastor and marriage counselor, says you show love by serving each other and building one another up. Men need honor and respect. Women need security and communication. When you show love in this way, you will grow closer and will not feel the need to return to the parents who raised you for validation. God intended for us, according to the abovementioned scripture, to (aside from Him) depend on our spouse for advice and comfort, and not our mothers and fathers.

So here are my questions to you: Are you married to your best friend? Do you show them they're valued? Do you really listen to their needs? Do you respect them in front of others, whether they're there or not?

Just food for thought, but feel free to answer in the comments section.