The Anxiety Of Life

Day 5 of MHWA challenge Write about my support system

So, I have a support system, yes, but do I use them? Most of the time, no. Why? Why bother them with my issues when there are so many daily issues to overcome already? Yes, my support system knows I have anxiety.
They've seen me suffer through the minor anxiety attacks I've had, but I hide and hold back when I can't hide.
My boyfriend knows most of my past, just not a lot of details. Maybe one day he will hear it all, but I'm in no hurry to open the flood gates.
His brother is also part of my support system and he knows what I go through, he has anxiety as well or had or knows how it feels. I just don't care to let people I care about see me not be as strong as they usually do.
My boyfriend also has this saying, "just get over yourself and move on with life," that just irks the hell out of me. He said it to me a few days ago and I kind of laid into him. I told him that this IS who I am, and told him to get over it. Yeah he didn't get mad at me he said, "No it's who you choose to be, not who you are." Maybe that's true, probably not, but whatever. He will either realize my issues are here to stay awhile whether he's going to stick around to see them, or not. I know it's his way of trying to reassure me he's nothing like my past relationships, which he's not, but it doesn't stop a lot of the anxiety I have/had.
Time is what I need, not uttered words I've heard from others before him. And in time, I may be able to use these people as a support system. For now, that's it. I don't let anyone else in that close. Been burned too many times. And not only does it hurt, it leaves scars...


Shhh. Whisper.....