When I wish not write, I come here. To relieve my thoughts.
What is Love.
Writing of course!
That is not why I’m about to blog some thoughts out of my head. I have to write, and stories to tell. Some we know, some will say they know them well. Another day perhaps, I will open up my flow, and let it rip.
No, today, I write with a heavy heart. As from my point of view, It is about a year now, she and I, have been obviously on each other’s radar. I am still not sure, who has watched who, the longest. Come July, will be one year, since we have exchanged feelings, with words, and knowing who was on the other side.
Today, a year later, she has so many accounts, and aliases, I get headaches trying to keep up. I mainly use one account. I do have several others, for specific purposes. She most likely knows them all. Now, in all fairness, on of her accounts, has more “followers” than most people can dream of even seeing ever in their internet experience.
Now, what troubles me is, she and I play this game, it’s called love. However, she has gone from carried away, to too far, and from there. Beyond words. We shared thoughts of a family life, and I am a soldier, and I have been through a lot. So has she. And we are both single parents, and I can understand her concerns, with having a militant type of partner.
That being said, the way I leave you outside life outside while at work. I can also leave the warzone, on the battlefield, when at home. I feel she knows this already. What hurts me most, is not only this sort of hide and seek fetish. She won’t open up to me, infact, she won’t speak to me, at all. Yet, she shows me love and support in ways, that only I can understand, as I too, will from time to time, play this game.
We are connected spiritually, mentally, and we have both been hurt. Infact, we have both had other people emulate, or pretend to be like us, which the negative affect, had drawn us to these clones. Only later on, after we met, did we realize, we had fallen for people, who pretended to be like us.
I have little joy in noting, we have more than made our points as far as getting even with someone who pretends to be someone they are not, for the purpose of self-gain, infact, we may have overkilled it a bit, and most likely, would continue, as this was an awful experience.
When you love someone, and you find out, everything you love about them, was copied from the way another person behaves, speaks, their mannerisms, and so forth.
Now, We are in love, and I do not understand, why she will not meet with me, nor speak directly to me. She has spent a great deal of time on me, and through her friends, and coworkers, lets me know, I am not ever alone. I simply fill her inbox, and then I get replies through other means.
Is this what the internet has come too, people are so hurt, they lost the ability to trust all together? Now, I feel she trusts me, as we have spoke of marriage and family life here and there, however, we don’t use spoken or written words directly.
Here’s where the life becomes interesting more so. She and I, both have strong psychic abilities. Maybe you have heard of an empath. Well, My Lady and I, can teach you how to become in tune with your inner abilities. As we all have these traits. ESP, for example. We can teach that.
For me, after a year of hide and play, I grow tired, I want nothing more, than a night, or omg, a weekend alone with her. For example, without words, she may answer me with a picture, or image. And she has the most beautiful mind and ideas, I have ever seen in a mate.
I simply don’t understand why we can’t seem to get together. Now there is much more to this than I am writing, and while it is my blog, I am omitting much on this topic. I long for togetherness, and I don’t want to say she is stringing me along, and I do feel at times, like I have a carrot on a stick.
She has spent far to much time, assuring me, I am not alone. Now friends and family aside, I am focusing on my love, My Lady. Infact, we have embarked on perhaps the biggest project in either of our careers. Plus, she was already busy with countless projects. I would like her to be human with me.
Togetherness, and I’m not rushing things. I don’t feel asking for a hug, and a date now and then, is too much. I can’t really get into much more at this point, due to our lifestyles, and working arrangements. I needed to vent, and I am certain, she will read this at some point. I feel she is a member her also, and of course, under one or more aliases. That’s a story for another entry….social media addiction….
Good day to all, thank you for reading. When life catches up, or I slow down, I have some great stories to pump out. First, I have to take care of Me, then I will be free to write again.