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 |  Where am I going, and why am I in this handbasket? |
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Fair Warning: I've upped the rating on this blog. It is now set at GC. |
| My daughter and I were watching TV together last night when the plastic news anchor appeared on the screen. "Why beer prices may soon be sky-rocketing! This story and more on the 11 o'clock news!" Damn. Not the beer. My daughter must have caught my look of angst. "First gas, now beer," she observed. "Pretty soon people won't be able to afford to drink and drive." I love that kid.  |
| Spring is in the air. I know this because my sinuses are acting up. Yesterday I had the itchy watery eyes, the sore throat, runny nose, and that horrible deep inside the ear itch that makes me do things with Q-tip that you are NEVER supposed to do with the Q-tip. So last night, in hopes of relief and a good night sleep, I popped a Benadryl. When I woke up this morning, I felt like someone had crept into the bedroom during the night and poured cement into my sinuses. Since I was laying on my left side, most of the pain and pressure was concentrated beneath my left cheek. Damn. I really don't know which is worse, the itchiness or the cement face. I spent a good part of the morning going back and forth on the issue. Then, one of the temps in the next office chimed in on the internal debate. Okay, so it wasn't completely internal. "Sounds like you need a neti pot." After making her repeat the statement three times because my ears were clogged and well . . . because I didn't know what the hell a neti pot was, I did a little on-line research. A neti pot is a small tea pot looking thing originating in Southeast Asia. It is used to irrigate the sinuses which then flushes out irritants and relieves pressure and nasal congestion. Now, I am a long time veteran in the hay fever wars. I've tried damn near every over the counter and prescription pill that has ever been marketed. I've also gone the gambit of nasal sprays . . . Flonase, Astelin and so forth. I've yet to find an effective treatment that I can really tolerate. So, I read the neti pot propaganda with a mixture of hope and skepticism. I even watched the youtube video demonstrating the proper use of the neti pot. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uzK9Gn4E_Eg Okay, so it looked a bit weird, but harmless enough. I stopped by the drug store after work to look for a neti pot. I couldn't find any of the little white ceramic pots. Mine is blue, like this . . . http://www.drugstore.com/products/prod.asp?pid=164302&catid=47602 I read the directions, rinsed and filled the pot with warm water and then added the sodium mix to the water and swished it around to dissolve the powder. While I'm swishing it around, a little tune pops into my head, and I can't help singing. I'm a little neti pot, short and stout, here is my handle, that penis-looking-thingy is my spout. When I get all mixed up, hear me shout! Tip me over to wash snot out. With the solution prepared, I assumed the position I'd seen demonstrated on the video. Tipping my head to the right, I leaned over the sink and position the little blue bulbous spout to the left nostril. Eureka. It worked. My sinuses were clearing. Next, I tipped my head left to repeat the process. Now, the left side of my face was where the concrete had settled overnight, so I figured this was the real test. I started pouring, relaxed, with lips parted, remembering to breath . . . except I wasn't breathing. I couldn't breath. The back of my throat was filling up with saline solution and I was drowning! Turns out that when your sinuses are really block, the stuff just runs down your throat. Ick! So I tried again with a slower flow and endured as the stuff trickled out both the nose and mouth. It involved both spitting and swearing, and It looked nothing like the video! Oh yeah, and then I sneezed saline all over the bathroom mirror.  It's about three hours later now. I spent most of the evening out in the garden, and honestly, I don't feel too bad. I feel a hell of a lot better than I have the past two nights anyway. So the neti pot shows great promise. In other news, my mother-in-law got her biopsy results. She has cancer, and it is in her lymph nodes as well. They are going to wait about 6 weeks, and then start her chemotherapy. She is in good spirits through all of this, and is doing so well post-op, that they are going to spring her a day earlier than planned. |
| Turns out I'm more of an agony of defeat gal. My power source arrived today from Dell. I thought the installation might require inventing a few new swear words. It didn't. Okay, I swore a little, but not much. It was actually very straight forward. Unfortunately, it was also completely ineffective. Bummer! Tony is being cool about it, and complimenting me on my initiative and "can-do" attitude instead of pointing out the fact that I could have taken it somewhere and had it fixed by now. Apparently my amazingly bad electronics karma is a kind of super power. At work today the copy machine / printer died and the thermostat went on the blink so it was 78 degrees in the office by 2:00 in the afternoon. If I were smart . . . not that anyone has ever accused me of such a thing . . . I would get off the laptop before it dies as well. |
| My mother in law had her surgery today. Tony stopped by the hospital to see her after work and said that she seemed to be in good spirits. Upon waking from surgery, one of her very first requests was for a tube of lipstick so she could "freshen up." Unfortunately, the surgeon had to remove a 3ft section of bowel, and they will not have the biopsy results for another couple days. I stayed home with Zachary today. He is feeling better this evening, but spent most of the day being clingy and requiring my undivided attention. He still has a nasty cough, but hopefully he'll be well enough to return to school tomorrow. I don't think I could take another day of the Nick Jr. morning TV line up.  |
| Yesterday night I went to my mother-in-laws for a visit. We took a lasagna for her husband and had dinner there. She wasn't allowed to have any. She was on liquids only in preparation for her surgery on Monday morning. She seemed positive enough, but as she put it, there are two things in life which she finds most intolerable, pain, and being dependent. I'm sure she'll make a great patient. She'll be in the hospital for four days, and then Tony's sister will be flying out from Colorado to stay at the house and take care of her for a bit. My mother-in-law will never be my favorite person, and I find it difficult to enjoy her company, but we made our peace sometime ago.. To her credit, she never criticizes the way I raise my children, and she seems to appreciate the fact that I've put up with her son through the years. I, in turn, decided long ago not to take it personally when she herds Tony away from me to take pictures of "just family." Usually when we are due visit my mother-in-law, she invites other people as well and we dine en mass. Under those circumstances, there are usually several conversations going at once and the in-laws jump from one stream of thought to another with ease and startling frequency. Last night was one of those rare occasions when it was just us and them. And still there were all these simultaneous, yet unrelated streams of conversation. I couldn't keep up with the mid-stream jumps. Then my mother-in-law's husband, Russ, started asking all these questions about Zack. It's autism awareness month and it turns out Russ watched a program on autism. Now, Russ is a relative newcomer. He married my mother-in-law about 5 years ago, and since Zack was one of 7 blond grandsons he acquired, it took him awhile to sort the kids out and really know anything about them. Not to mention that we are infrequent visitors. Anyway, Russ was expressing and interest in Zack and seemed to be making an effort to understand him. Good stuff, right? Turns out it wasn't. Russ asked a lot about when I noticed something was wrong. What was done about it. What we're doing about it now, and so forth. I told him about the early months of evaluation and physical therapy, and then the later speech and occupational therapy. He looked surprised to learn that Zack was already delayed and targeted for early intervention at the tender age of 3 months. "Wow!" he said, "All that . . . all those therapies and they still couldn't do anything for him." I don't think he intended anything hurtful by it. I think it was more of a commentary on how pervasive the disorder is, but it was like a knife in my back. My son is a wonderful, intelligent, charming and loving child. I can't imagine what he would have been like without all the time and effort that went into drawing him out into the wider world and teaching him how to interact. Russ doesn't see it that way. He sees a kid who is awkward and uncoordinated and . . . well . . . weird. He sees a kid who needs to be "fixed" with a treatment, or therapy or medication. And now I missed the witching hour and didn't get a blog posted for Sunday. Damn! I should probably just delete this as it is a bit whiny and pointless, but I'll let it stand for now. Zack is hoarse, and has a persistent cough and a sore throat. I doubt he will make it to school tomorrow, so I'll probably be home with the boy, and maybe I'll make it around to read some blogs. |
| "It sounds like a problem with the power source," my savvy friend concluded when I explained my computer woes to her. "The power source? Really? So . . . should I try plugging it into a different outlet and see if that works." She gave me one of those looks, as if questioning how I could be that stupid and still manage to live. I laughed and tried to play it off as a joke, but she knew better. "The internal power source." Oh yes, well if she'd just said that in the first place it would have been crystal clear. It is a good thing I have two computers as I was then able to google computer repair information and I confirmed that my computer does, in fact, have an internal power source, and that this is housed in with the blowy-fan-thingy. Yep, this is probably what's wrong with my computer. So, this isn't so bad. The power source just needs to be replaced, and this looks like a $50 to $100 part. I went to a couple stores tonight and they have lots of power supplies. For an additional $40, they'll even install one for me. Now, I don't like to think of myself as cheap, but $40 seems a bit much to pay just for the comfort of knowing the thing will be done right. It seems a shame to shell out $40 and deprive myself of this learning opportunity. I mean, I've successfully assembled furniture from Ikea, how much harder can this be? I pulled the tower out from under the desk and popped the side panel off. The power source is right there, and it is held in place with all of four screws. There are a lot of wires, but they are in bundles and connect to the components in about five different places. Yep, I think I can do this. I think I can. I think I can. I think I can. To be continued . . . |
| Well yesterday I made it through two eye appointments, surviving both the trauma of a boy who did not want glasses, and the frustration of a girl who wanted contacts, but couldn't put them in, and take them out of her eyes. They wouldn't let her take them home, so the contacts stayed at the doctors office and Katie will need to go back for an additional "training session." I asked if she wanted to go back today, and she declined. Hmmmm. Yesterday also brought a trip to the car dealership. We now have a black Pontiac Vibe. Although I didn't envision myself buying a GM, the Vibe was a winner because it is essentially a Toyota product with GM rebates and incentives. Woohoo! Adding to the productivity, I managed to coerce the boy into a haircut and we went shopping for new sneakers. We were trying to kill some time before going home because we had no power at home. No power. No computers. No television. Well okay, if it weren't for the lack of hot water I would have been pretty content. I light some oil lamps and curled up under a book. Pretty soon though I grabbed a flashlight and went looking for a sweatshirt. It was getting chilly. An hour later I added a blanket. By this morning, it had dropped to 20 degrees outside. I'm not sure how cold it got inside, but I could see the dog's breath this morning. Brrrrrr. The power came back on sometime before noon, but I can't turn my computer on. I'm down to just the laptop, and competition for that is fierce. Just another craptacular day. |
| First, the good. We finally had our closing! Almost a month later, we have ourselves a done deal. Out mortgage has been refinanced, and the best part is that we do not have to make our next mortgage payment until June. Okay, that's not really the best part, but it is a nice bonus. Unfortunately, my mother-in-law called this evening with the bad news. She has to have surgery on Monday to remove a mass which they suspect may be colon cancer. We'll know more following the surgery. Thankfully, tomorrow will be a short day of work though. Both of my kids have eye appointments in the afternoon, so I'm taking off. Zachary needs glasses, and Katie is going to get fitted for her first contacts. Turns out that glasses make it difficult for her to do martial arts. She takes them off when practicing to avoid breaking them . . . again. The problem is, without her glasses she can't see the attacks coming. After the eye appointments, my husband and I are going to go over to the car dealership to make good and the whole "land a job and we'll get you a new car" deal. Except it will be a car and not an SUV because he'll have a long commute. Well with all that fun and excitement ahead of me, I really need to get off the computer and go get some sleep.  |
My son brought a "needs improvement" slip home from school on Friday. It said he needs improvement at having his assignment book signed everyday.  Oops. Sometimes I just forget. Sometimes I can't find a pen that writes. Sometimes I write a note, but forget to sign. Shouldn't I get partial credit. Yeah, pretty sad when the third grade teacher thinks my son is wonderful, but his mother could use some work. Today was supposed to be the day we closed on the refinancing of the house. My husband was very eager to close because he has found the car he wants and I have forbid him from doing anything stupid financial until we have officially closed and put that pup to bed. So, he got a bit irritated with me when I called to tell him that the evenings plans had to be canceled due to the broker having a family emergency. We are rescheduled for tomorrow. The irony of closing on April Fool's Day is not lost on me.  One of the instructors over at the local Community College gave her students an assignment in which they must call and harass me every 15 minutes or so throughout the work day. Okay, that isn't really the assignment, but that's what it seems like. What they are really supposed to do is observe an elementary aged child with a diagnosis of mental retardation. Since I work for the county Mental health and mental retardation office and have the unfortunate habit of answering my phone even when I don't recognize the number popping up on caller ID, I've talked to WAY too many of these students. Sample phone call . . . "Hi, I'm a college student and I need to schedule a time to come to your office and do an observation of a retarded kid for an assignment." Hmmm . . . here's the point they seem to be missing. We are a case management unit! We don't keep the kids here! Nor can we produce them on demand. They don't belong to us. I kindly directed some of the friendlier callers to the special ed. department at the local school district (where they at least have some children stashed away), but eventually I stopped answering the phone. I catch on slow, but I eventually do catch on. Yep, I definitely merit a "Needs improvement." |
| The thing I find the most annoying about being me is that I don't ever just get mad. I get upset. Instead of yelling and fuming and being just out and out pissed off, I start to choke up and get teary. I might start off angry, but hurt is never far behind. This evening I am upset with my husband. He left early this morning, and on the way out the door woke me up to tell me that he wouldn't be home at the usual time and he'd call me later to explain why. He usually teaches a couple martial arts classes on Saturday. I started to ask questions, but he told me he had to go and he would call later. I might have pressed the issue, but I wasn't that awake yet. He didn't call. About 5:15 this evening I called to find out where he was and when he'd be back. Turns out he is at a mixed Martial Arts exhibition today and he won't be back until sevenish. So I'm pissed. He intentionally did not tell me because he wanted to go and didn't want to give me the opportunity to object. It is easier to seek forgiveness than permission, right? Well, I'm pissed, but I'm also upset. His actions show not only a lack of trust and consideration, but a lack of respect. He told me that it slipped his mind. Bullshit. The man had the presence of mind to write out a list of items he wanted from the grocery store and to sign checks so that I could do his banking for him, but oops-cidentally forgot to tell me his plans for the day. Thats BULLSHIT! So, I didn't go to the grocery store, or the bank, but I'm going to run to the ATM for some cash and then the boy-child and I are going to go out to dinner ourselves. I'm going to go to Garfields and drink one of their big ol' Mudslides. Yup. Hope you all have a super day. |
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