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 |  My second blog. What you get are pieces of me; my humor, my memories: be welcome. |
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MY BOOK! http://www.lulu.com/davidmac73 This picture was in the header of my first blog and I wanted to bring it back. Me and my sweetie on our wedding day....it is my favorite picture. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This is my second Blog on WDC. The first Blog, Random Thoughts, is finished and done and I loved almost every minute I spent doing it. This blog will be somewhat different than the first because I want to use this space for my humor and my memories. The humor may sometimes fall flat and the memories may, at times be boring, but isn't that the way it is with life. Please join me here and partake in these pieces of me and if sometimes you find the jokes unfunny or the memories dull, then please come back another day and maybe you will find something to your liking. After all, like my daddy always said: "Some days you get the bear, some days the bear gets you." Thank you, vivacious   for this neat new logo for my blog! Yup, this about says it all, I think!** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** I thought that Independence Day was the appropriate day to put this great new siggy in my blog....Thank you sultry ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Please check out Scarlett's Newsletter for Bloggers: The Blogville News
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Thank you, Startiara  for this lovely Siggy!! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| Okay, this might get me burned at the stake, but hey after this week what else is new! You see I have a confession to make. I have tried to hide it but I find that I am no longer able to suppress my true nature or my deepest feelings. I am sure that when you all discover the truth about me you will be shocked. I will also understand that if, after hearing this confession, many of you want to distance yourself from me. You see no matter how hard I have tried, and God knows I really have tried, I find that it is just impossible for me to hide the truth any longer. My friends, the sad, sad, truth is....I have never found it possible to ride the Harry Potter bandwagon! That's right, even though I tried initially to get interested in the series, I just never could bring myself to like it that much. Oh don't get me wrong, the book itself is fairly well written, the characters are so-so, and the storyline, though not original, is entertaining....if you happen to be between the ages of 10 and 17 or there abouts. Thankfully I was off the day the book went on sale in our store but the rush was still fairly big even the next day when I did return to work. I had an endless stream of children rushing through the door and demanding in their high-pitched little voices, the direction the Harry Potter books. I got so use to the request that I didn't even have to look up, I would just say: "Isle three, left hand side...large display, you can't miss it." Just about an hour before I was to get off work that day, I was standing at the door, facing into the store and talking to a customer when I felt a tug on my sleeve and this decidedly adult, male voice asked: "Pardon me, which way to the Harry Potter books?" I turned around and was faced with the sight of this goofy, thirty-something nerd dressed in overalls, cowboy boots and a DAMN WIZARD HAT! Standing next to him was what must have been his contribution to the gene pool...a kid of about eleven wearing the same damn pointy wizard hat! That is what I am getting at folks...the series of books is not bad, not great, but not that bad. But, I ask you, is it worth all the hyper-hype that has been generated? I mean is that all it takes to be a successful writer in this day and age? All you have to do is write a mediocre story and sit back and let this giant PR machine begin convincing the world that you are unworthy if you have not read the complete series of books and can pass a one-hundred question test on the plot. Like I said...I tried. I read the first two books in an attempt to climb upon the bandwagon before it passed me by. Just couldn't do it. Now please, none of you let slip that I am not a fan of HP. I would hate to have it get back to Ms. Rowlings and be the cause of her falling into a deep depression...HA! So now its out in the open...I am not a fan of Harry Potter. I can understand your disappointment...please don't hate me! Now while we are on the subject of confessions, I have one more. I AM SICK AND TIRED OF ALL THESE FOREIGNERS IN AMERICA! I mean, really, they are flooding across our borders in record number and not just from Mexico...Try going into a convenience store and hurdling the language barrier to buy a Malt Liquor and a package of beef jerky some times. I think it's high time America was emptied of all but true Americans. So, I have my bags packed and all I gotta do is buy my plane ticket to Scotland. How about the rest of you...where are you guys gonna go? Better yet, I wonder what the Indians are going to do with all the empty space once all of us who aren't real Americans are back in Europe, Asia, and Africa?  |
| My sweetie, Mel aka Mrs Tor did a blog entry this morning very early! She is always telling me that she blogs very sporatically because she is not a writer like the rest of us...HA. Go over there and read her entry then tell her she is WRONG. The woman puts me to shame with her writing skill. I may come back later and do another entry. I just wanted everyone to read her's. Here is the link to her entry...... "Invalid Entry"  |
| I have the utmost respect for those among us who can write in the comedy genre. Personally I have never been that good at it but I have noticed that this site has an abundance of good comedy writers. For example, I know many of you are familiar with that guy who USE to blog here; partyof5dj. He has to be one of the most talented writer of comedy I have ever read. Another one whom we rarely see a blog from these days and is just as talented, is emmyloo. She writes so much like Erma Bombeck that is makes me believe in reincarnation. Of course I can not mention comedy writing on WDC without mentioning Nada or Scarlett . Both these ladies are masters at making us laugh out loud. Also, as much as it pains me to do so, I must give a big nod to my buddy, ccstring. This guy is the absolute top of the heap when it comes to making people spew their drinks and scratch their head at the same time.....think Jerry Lewis here.As for myself, when on the rare occasion I try my hand at comedy, I am more a counter-puncher. I am more comfortable playing off someone else's words and my humor usually runs rather dry and sarcastic at best. This does not stop me from really admiring those who do comedy well though, like the folks I listed in the above paragraph. When it comes to known comedians, my taste is rather wide ranging. I LOVE Abbot and Costello and Jerry Lewis in some of his first movies. Dean Martin, though not a comedian, was the perfect straight man for Lewis. I also try never to miss anything Dennis Miller does. His stand-up comedy routines are among the best in the business. I like having to actually think when I listen to him and if I'm not careful I could easily miss some of his barbs which he throws out at machine-gun pace and rhythm. I like comedians who can make me laugh without the vulgar language; people who laugh as much at themselves as at the expense of others...now that's comedy. Who are some of your favorite comedians and why? Let me know. |
| Off subject: Sometime yesterday I passed the 19,000 views mark on this, my second blog. I have no idea exactly when it happened and I don't know who that 19thousandth viewer was, but I want to take this opportunity to thank each and every person who, at one time or another, clicks on my blog and gives me a read. You have no idea how special each and every one of you are to me. You have all probably heard of the perfect storm, I am sure. There has been movies and television documentaries made about them. Thankfully these storms are a rare occurrence and the resulting loss of life and property are kept at a minimum. I wonder how many of you have ever heard of the Perfect Solar Storm. This is an actual storm which starts on the surface of the sun and it throws out a tremendous wave of radiation and an Electromagnetic Pulse, or EMP. This is the same EMP that is generated with an atomic blast except it is millions of times more powerful. This EMP will instantly fry any and every thing electrical on the planet and will render satellites inoperable. Some scientist believe that, when a storm such as this and with the resulting EMP which strikes the earth, our planet could be without electricity for as much as two years! Now before you start thinking, this can't happen to us, well think again...it already has happened. Luckily for us it last occurred in the 1850's and the only disruption it caused was to the Telegraph system of the time for that was as technological as we were back then. What about today? What would be the results of a massive EMP washing over the earth today? Two years without electricity....what would that mean for modern man, if that happens? In the blink of an eye, all over the world, there would be no: 1.cell phones 2. computers 3. television 4.radio 5. no lights 6. no refrigeration 7. no air conditioning These are just a few of the things we would instantly be without. Without electricity, where would our manufacturing capability be? How would refineries run and how would gas be made? Where would we be without gasoline? In an instant the world would be yanked back into the 1800's. The only difference would be that we would be ill-equipped to deal with a world like that one. But it's only two years after all. In the United States, there are an estimated 37 million people over the age of sixty-five and it is also estimated that about one third of those people would die during the first summer season without air conditioning and another third would die during the winter, without heating. People who require certain long-term medical treatments would also die. There are 20.8 million people with diabetes who rely on insulin, which has to be refrigerated. A large percentage of those folks would not make it through the first year. And it goes on and on. What it finally boils down to in the final analysis is that to have even minor medical problems during those two years could very well be a death warrant. No computers....the world's banking institutions would soon collapse...Wall Street, which relies on the electrical pulse to transfer money, stock ownership, and almost all phases of trade would never be able to withstand the chaos of a total, long term blackout. Your money is no good, your car won't run, you have no job even if you could get to it. Where would you get your food? How would you provide the simplest of needs for your family? What would you do? Did you know that many smaller subdivisions outside a town or city have their own water system which relies on electrical pumps to keep the water flowing from the wells? No electricity no water? Where would you get your water? About this point I bet you are thinking...."Damn, two years is a long time!" When this happens...not if, because it WILL happen...two years may be a lifetime in terms of survival of not only the people of our country, but of the country itself. The same will be happening around the world. What will you do? Just a thought on a quiet Thursday afternoon as I sit here at my computer, with the TV droning in the background and my air conditioner humming strongly....wonder what I would do...hummm... |
| It happened quite by accident today; a piece of overheard conversation was all it took. I was minding my own business and reading a book on my lunch break when I caught a snippet of conversation from the far end of the room....someone was talking about a Moon Pie. Before I knew it, I was deep into what I call, for a lack of a better term, a "Sensory Memory". Have you ever had one of those. This is a memory of the taste, the smell, the feel of something from your past. Today the mention of Moon Pies brought it on. I could once again taste that wonderful, chocolate cookie/cake exterior and the smooth marshmallow center of the Moon Pie which was a prized treat for kids back in the stone age when I grew up. Of course, once I relived that particular sensory memory, I was reminded of the long ago taste of an ice cold RC Cola which was always the perfect companion to the chocolate moon pie, back in the day. Moon Pie, RC Cola? the memories started to gather momentum as they avalanched downhill in my memory banks then. There I was once again, baking in the hot July sun and laying on the banks of a swift flowing, spring-fed creek. I once again smelled the sweet pine scent from the trees lining the bank of the creek and felt the sun hot on my skin as I finished off my RC Cola and my Moon Pie. Once again I felt the cold bite of the water as I jumped from the bank into the center of the stream and let the current carry me the twenty feet or so to the small waterfall. I felt again the exhilaration of floating over the edge of the falls and dropping the eight or ten feet to the deep pool at it's base. I could even feel, again, the tickle of the air bubbles as they raced around my body and back up to the surface ahead of me. I remembered how, when I came up to the surface the first thing I saw was my horse, Skipper, quietly nibbling grass and watching with what seemed a bemused stare, the antics of her young master. I remembered the long ride home, letting the sun dry me as I rode bareback through the forest. All these sensory memories came in a flash as I sit in the break room, reading a book and listening to people chatter away....sometimes those are the best trips we can make. I know the rest of my day was lovely. Have any of you ever had Sensory Memories? |
| I have noticed something very interesting of late. I have begun to blog later and later in the day. Oh I sit at the computer as soon as I get home and I start the process of reading blogs and thinking of a topic, but inspiration seems to come later and later these days. Well today, at work, I had an epiphany of sorts. It came to me as I greeted customers and answered silly questions. The reason it takes me longer to come up with a blog topic is mainly because I am content in my life, moderately happy, and pleased with each day as it unfolds around me. This rather startling self-discovery came to me as I was struggling to keep up with the crowd the other day at work and I felt this gentle tug at my sleeve. I turned around and there stood this little old lady, probably close to eighty years old. "Pardon me young man," Her voice was soft and low with the rasp of age. "I need some help finding something. Do you work here?" Now there I stood with my navy blue shirt and tan pants (our new uniform), with this big old name badge hanging on my shirt pocket that proclaimed: DAVID- WAL-MART ASSOCATE! There was a radio hanging on my belt, and a Garvy gun used to mark returns hanging next to it. I was standing with one hand on a cart and the other hand full of a Wal-Mart sales paper! DUH! It was then a funny thing happened to me. I have had this question many times and I usually have a smart-assed comeback like: "Uh, no, I do not work here. I am an eccentric millionaire and this is how I VACATION!" Instead, I found myself grinning like an idiot as I lay down the sales paper and put my hand on the lady's shoulder gently. "Yes my dear, I do work here. How can I help you?" Good Lord, in that instant I discovered that I actually LOVE MY JOB! How's that for a shocker? Oh sure, I bellyache and grip about the shallow gene pool that causes me to deal with idiots, but heck, where would my comedy writing be without them? I mean, they unwittingly serve as the meat and potatoes of most of my humor. Yes, I do love my job. So the little lady asked for help and I helped her and sent her on her way. I then spent the rest of the day marveling at this great truth that had been given me....I love my job. Then as I thought about it, I realized that not only do I love my job but I am also pretty damn happy with each day. I figured it out that day that maybe my contentment comes from my age. I am 58 years old and there are a few truths which I know for certain which have set my mind at ease. For example: 1. I know, at this stage in my life, I will never be rich....That's okay, I wouldn't know how to do rich anyway. Hell, I wouldn't even know how to do middle class. I have what I need to meet my needs...what more should I want? 2. I will never be famous....I have realized that for a man to become famous at this age, let's say for writing, is almost unheard of. In fact you could probably count the number of men who have accomplished this on the fingers of one hand....IF YOU WERE A DOUBLE AMPUTEE! 3, I will never be the sort who is considered Handsome, but then again, I never have been handsome so what does it matter. There is something quite liberating to know that when a good looking woman turns and stares at me, she is definitely looking at someone BEHIND ME. Now knowing those things which I have listed are true has given me a certain peace of mind. You might think those things are negatives but they really aren't. Just to be on the safe side though there is another list of things which, at my age, I have come to know. 1. I have lived long enough and experienced enough of the world so that I am rarely surprised, and never shocked by what happens around me. 2. I have reached a calmness of spirit with the knowledge that I have done my great adventures in this life and now they can live inside my memories...both the good and the bad...where they belong. 3. Most importantly.....I have reached a place many spend their lives seeking: I have reached true love and I get to lay down at night with the woman I love and wake up to her each morning. What more could any man ask for? You see, she doesn't care if those first three things up there never come to pass, all she asks of me is my love and devotion....I guess that makes me rich after all doesn't it. So I am happy and content...that doesn't make for good blogging does it. I have no angst and I have no anger. Oh I can still get pissed off, but it passes. I still have my moments when the ghosts visit and unsettle me for days at a time, but that too passes. What I am left with is a simple life and a woman who loves me. Happy and Content. Makes for a boring blog but I have to say: "It is well with my soul." |
| Since a few of you have expressed interest in the newest members of our dang Mel's Ark, I thought I would post a couple of pictures today. This first picture is our newest dog, Sassy. She is a Black and Tan. For those of you who know the breed, you will know that this type of hound is a born hunter. I have fond memories of listening to the bell-like calls of a pack of these hounds as they trailed and treed a big old coon. There is something very special about the song of the hound on the hunt that will stay with you forever once you've heard it. Sassy, like all our dogs, was a throw-away. Someone had dropped her off on the road leading to our house and she made her way to our front door. Little did the poor, starved, little hound know, but she had reached the dog equivalent to Shangri-La! Sassy was pretty skinny and quite hungry when she came to us. She looks to be about three or four months old. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** On the bright side, Sassy is a Man's dog! Not only is the breed a "Man's" breed, but this particular puppy, for some reason immediately bonded with ME! I seem to be her Alpha which is a real change of pace cause all our animals look to Mel as the Alpha. Needless to say, this girl has won my heart already. Now this next picture is of "Snowball". Snowball is one of the three new goats which Mel got last week. I asked Mel to re-size a picture of just Snowball by herself but as you can see, she re-sized the one picture f me holding the baby. Sorry folks, putting me in here was not my idea...just look at the goat...okay? ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** So there you have it...just two more furry babies at Casa McClain. |
| March 31, 2005 was the date I first attempted to enter what was for me a totally alien world...The world of the Blog. I remember spending at least a couple of weeks just trying to figure out what the hell a Blog was, then another week or so trying to decide whether or not I was capable of writing in that format. That was then and this is now. Now I have one complete blog under my belt and am almost half way through my second one. You know what's funny? I am still trying to figure out the whole Blog thing. There were two questions I had to ask myself before I started my own blog way back then.... 1. Is there a right way and a wrong way to write a blog?....After over two and a half years of doing a blog I have come to the conclusion that there is no right or wrong way to do a blog. There is only what works for the author. After all, we all write whatever we write mainly to satisfy a need within ourselves to share our own thoughts so however we choose to do it must work for the individual writer. 2. Do I write it like a daily journal or make each entry a stand-alone piece? I faced this question right from the beginning and I decided that the daily journal thing could not work for me. This question brings on the argument: Journal or Blog...what is it called? For myself I had to stick to "Blog". I knew, almost from the beginning, that I wanted to use this format as a tool to improve my writing. I wanted to become more adept at sharing my thoughts and ideas with strangers who did not know me and to see if I was able to not only inform, but to also entertain them in the process. For this reason, I write each of my entries in such a way that they can be stand-alone pieces and at some future date I want to publish my blogs either in their complete form, a mixture of selected entries. Now like I said before, this doesn't work for everyone. Many people blog simply to share their day to day experiences, to record, in detail what they are feeling on a particular day. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this type of format and if it works for you, then by all means, do it. Okay, so it took me this long, but I have finally answered both those questions to my satisfaction. There is no right or wrong format for a blog/journal and I prefer to write my own in more the Blog than the Journal format. There is something else I discovered along the way as I wrote my blog. I discovered, rather quickly that diversity is the best policy. I discovered that it helped me to hone my writing skills to change the tone and type of topics every few days. This way not only were any readers who might stumble into the blog not bored to tears, but I also gained experience in trying to convey different ideas in a more cognizant manner. "So what the hell does all this mess have to do with anything?" Nothing really. I guess I just wanted to say that it doesn't really matter what kind of blog you write as long as you WRITE. Write On!!! |
| "It ain't no thang. It is what it is and it ain't what it was...It ain't no thang!" I can remember me and my buddy, repeating that over and over and slapping our hands together to keep time while we spoke our mantra. Pretty soon our frowns were smiles and we would carry on. We did this to remind ourselves that there was nothing we could do to change the crap we were in, all we could do is just keep on, keeping on. Some times I feel like doing that again but there is no one left to share it with, so I just repeat it silently to myself..."It ain't no thang." And it's not. All the anger, the bellicose posturing, the rabid outcry that goes on daily against the government, against business, against Organized religion...it all amounts to nothing. You know why? Because even though we have the power, especially in this country, to change things, we will not do it because we lack one very important ingredient: The Courage of Sacrifice. We could change almost anything in this country, you know, if we could only find the courage to sacrifice and to do with less than we have now. If we could just step outside our comfort zone and take action TOGETHER you would be surprised at what could be accomplished. I have listened and read the words of Bush Bashers from all over this country. I have soaked up their loud cries of moral outrage at the "Great Satan", Bush. They call him criminal and incompetent. Well folks, here's your chance...do something about it! You don't have to wait until the elections to be rid of this "monster"; take to the streets! The constitution allows for this you know. Get out there and march in your millions. Call for his impeachment and demand Congress convene hearings on articles of impeachment. You, the people, have the power to make the government do what you want it to do but it takes sacrifice. You have to get out and march and boycott and have sit-ins, and disrupt government business. You need to take over a few universities. You know of course, that this will mean maybe not taking that trip to Yellowstone this summer so that you can have your 10 million person march on Washington. You may have to put aside your regular job for awhile so you can devote yourself full time to ridding our country of this heinous, outlaw, ruler known as George Bush. Isn't getting rid of him and changing the government to something YOU prefer worth that much trouble? Okay, okay, maybe you aren't ready to take to the streets in your millions to voice your moral outrage and topple the corrupt government of Bush. I understand if you want to just hang out until elections and let nature take its course. What about the price of Gas? You have the power to effect that you know. Okay, so you won't be marching on Washington this summer. What if all of us...every damn person in this country who owns a car....decided to make great sacrifices (there's that word again) and cut our consumption in half...AND KEEP IT THERE FOR A YEAR. What would happen to the price of crude oil if American consumption were drastically cut for a year. Americans are the pig at the oil trough after all, we are the leading user of gasoline in the world. What would happen to the price if, for example we went from using two tanks of gas a week to using only one, or from using one tank a week to using one tank every two weeks? What if we refused to travel on holidays? FOR A YEAR! Last Fourth of July 30 million people traveled by car to places at least a hundred miles from their home to celebrate the fourth. What if none of us did that? You think the price of gas would go down? But wait. That means no vacation that year. No traveling to theme parks to pay inflated prices to have an over sized mouse pose in a picture with you and the kids. My God, how could anyone be asked to sacrifice their vacation...that's UNAMERICAN! Course it also means no gathering with the far-flung family members on Thanksgiving and Christmas to once again see people you moved 1000 miles away so you would not be around every day. How could Americans possibly survive that kind of hardship? So you see....you can change your government, you can effect the price of gas, you can even make America GREEN. All you have to be willing to do is put aside your creature comforts, sacrifice to the greater good of a common goal and just GET IT DONE. Which brings me back to my mantra....I will continue to repeat it to myself now because I know that no matter how much we whine and snot about how terrible something is, there are very few people in the country willing to commit themselves to more than writing really nasty Letters to the Editor on these subjects. "It ain't no thang. It is what it is and it ain't what it was....it ain't no thang" Want to join me? Extend your arm, slap your right hand into my right hand then the backs of the hands.....repeat after me....... |
| And so it came to pass, in the fullness of time; I was born upon the earth. I arrived, an innocent, bouncing, baby boy...son to Rufus Fount and Dorothy McClain and resided in the midst of God's country...rural Texas. Now as a youth I grew up with the same moral attitudes of my parents and I absorbed their lifestyle as my own. This is only natural and fitting and it is what children do. The thing is, this ill-equipped me for my later life. You see, I grew up on a farm. Animals were commodities or tools...nothing more. Commodities....Cows, Sheep, Pigs, Chickens, and even Goats. You raised them, you sold them, and you ate them....YOU DAMN SURE DIDN'T NAME THEM! I mean, come on, geeze-louise can you imagine naming and even petting what could well be DINNER tomorrow? I don't think so. Tools....Horses, Dogs, even Cats. All these animals had a purpose. They had their own specific jobs to perform. Of course we HAD to name these animals, after all if we didn't name them how would they know which of them we were hollering at when we wanted them to go work. The exception to this rule was the Cat. We never bothered to name the any of the legion of different cats who resided, over the years, in our barn. Their job was to keep the mice and snakes killed off. Not only did we NOT name them, but we never fed them either. Dad always insisted that cats were like people; if you fed them they got lazy and would refuse to work. And on the seventh day, God saw this and said: "It is Good. Man has dominion over the Earth and the animals of the field." Apparently, God never met my wife. As you can see, my upbringing ill-equipped me for Life With Mel. This woman makes St. Francis Assisi look like a animal hater! You see, Mel has struck again. Seems the woman who we got Advilicus from called her up. She has this nanny and a young buck and the nanny just had a baby. Well she has to get rid of them...something about her husband in meltdown phase...and she wondered if Mel wanted them. Oh Joy! So, she will be home in a few moments from work...I get off an hour earlier than she does...and we will be on our way to collect THREE MORE GOATS...actually two and a half since the baby is only a week old. Never in all my years....from my first one, to this, did I EVER imagine that I would be the proud owner of 5 freaking goats!! Oh did I tell you...Mel printed out the list of Goat Names from the contest and has been pouring over them. I swear...GOATS??? My cattle-raising ancestors must be be spinning like a damn centrifuge machine in their graves right now. Oh I tried to be the voice of reason: "Honey," I pleaded with her. "Don't you know that within a year we could have as many as six more goats on the pasture if nature takes its course? What are you going to do when I start rounding up goats and hauling them to the auction barn?" "I don't mind selling them," She answered sweetly. "So long as a prospective buyer is willing to fill out an application and furnish references!" "REFRENCES"??? "They will be EATING THE GOATS, NOT ADOPTING THEM!" *Icy stare.....silence...... GAWD! You know, there was one other woman like Mel in history....Mrs. Noah. Yeah, that's right the whole Noah and the Ark thing was not the fault of Noah but his wife...Mrs. Noah. It was she who was the animal lover. I can just see it now..Noah standing on a cliff overlooking his big arsed boat and watching a steady stream of animals walking into it, two by two. He can see MRS. NOAH down there herding them inside the boat. "Oy Vey," He yells down at her. "Enough already with the animals. You want I should have to borrow feed money from your uncle Hymie again?" Noah, buddy, I feel your pain! |
| Okay, that tears it! I'm madder than a Baptist preacher without a collection plate! I have been robbed, I tell you and someones gonna pay dearly for this foul misdeed. I first noticed the theft yesterday after I came home from work. I was dog tired and all I wanted to do was sit down and relax and read my favorite bloggers. Maybe the fact that I was so tired explains why it took me almost an hour to even noticed that I had been mugged. Yes, that's right, I said mugged and by God I'm sticking to it. Some lowlife, sneaky, underhanded, individual snuck in here to WDC and stole my NUMBER! Oh the shame of it all! Here, look and see what I'm talking about: David McClain .....DID YOU SEE THAT?Yup, I am now a measly number 77 cause somebody done snuck off with my 78. Now I ask you, who could be low enough to steal a man's number? What would they do with one lousy number anyway? Now don't think for a moment I am gonna take this laying down...no siree Bob, I have been doing me a heap of sleuthing and I have even come up with some suspects. 1. Of course when it comes to suspects, ccstring is always high on my list and it don't really matter what the crime is...that dufus will try anything to get to me. Of course I was faced with the pure fact that CC can't even count that high cause God didn't give him nowhere near enough fingers and toes...heck he probably doesn't even have understand the concept of any number over 20. 2. Now if I had to pick another suspect it would have to be galinago. He even made a comment in my last blog that he and I had actually AGREED on something twice this month. That in and of itself is surely a sign of the second coming. Maybe he was just trying to counteract the fact that we had been in agreement. Or..it could be....You know I bet he stole my dang number and hid it one of them slush-fund thingys that he plans to spend on saving the spotty butted horny toad or something! 3. Sadly, though I have a third suspect who could be implicated in this foul crime. None other than my seemingly bestest buddy, Nada ! Yes, that's right, our own sweet, lovable, shoe hoarding, cruise taking, cell phone chattering, NADA! Did you see her number up there? Well it's 80 and just a couple of days ago we was tied at 78!Could it be that she could not stand to be tied with me? Did she, perhaps decide to sneak in here and snatch my number and use duct-tape to attach it to her own? Wait....THEN AFTER SHE DID IT...CC GAVE HER ANOTHER MERIT CIRCLE AS A REWARD! I bet that is how she now has 80 and I am only left with my poor, tattered, 77! OH THE HUMANITITES! THE SHAME OF IT ALL! I think my best bet now is to contact the Blogville Sheriff and turn over to him all the evidence I have gathered on these...the Usual Suspects. Could she be Keyser Söze??? Oh and about now you are asking yourself: "Who the heck is the Sheriff of Blogville?" Well that's easy....I just appointed Carolina Blue as the new sheriff!! I am sure he will get to the bottom of this little matter very quickly!  |
| Is it just me, or has this world of ours changed over the past twenty-five years or so? It seems that the world is full of angry people now. Maybe it was always so and they just never gave such voice to their anger as they do today. Not long ago I was flipping through the TV channels and came across one of those round-table discussion shows; a host and three guests and they were all angry. Their anger stemmed from the fact that they, in their eyes, were all victims, of what I never found out; I didn't feel like watching further. I mention this because it seems to me that today being a victim of SOMETHING serves as validation to folks. Now they have a reason for being miserable....it's not their fault; someone else is to blame. As a victim, people are also able to feel somehow special in today's society. Now is this a right thing or wrong? I have no idea. I know that, for myself, I chose NOT to be a victim of anything. I can truthfully say that damn near every bad thing that ever happened to me, I had a hand in it's happening. Usually each thing could be traced back to one particular point in time and a choice made by me. So you see, I have to hold myself at least partially responsible for whatever has happened in my life. Sorrow and depression are traveling mates who can usually be found working together in all our lives. Every one of us, at one time or another has or will, experience both these emotions in differing levels of severity. Sorrow and Depression....They are not ravens, .they do not perch presistently on a chamber door. They are things with teeth, which come in the night when their names are whispered. I am no different than anyone else, they come to me from time to time too. Maybe if there is a difference, it is that I refuse to let them tarry long, or wound me deeply. Again...this is a choice, my choice. I choose not to give either of these monsters power by succumbing to them for any length of time. Sure, there are times...sometimes days in length, when I feel their teeth gnawing at my soul, but I fight back. I bury them and move on with life. Now I'm not telling you this to show myself as any better than someone else who might not be able to do that. No. I am just saying that this is my choice...to fight those feelings and not give in to them. I guess what it boils down to is that in this life we only have two things to worry about. Are we well or are we sick? If we are well, then we have nothing to worry about. But, on the other hand, if we are sick, we only have TWO things to worry about: Will we get better or will we die? Now if we get better, we have nothing to worry about. But, on the other hand, if we die we only have TWO things to worry about: Will we go to heaven or will we go to hell. Now if we go to heaven, we have nothing to worry about. But, on the other hand, if we go to hell: WE WILL BE SO DAMN BUSY GREETING OUR FRIENDS WE WILL HAVE NO TIME TO WORRY! I know, I know, that is a gross over simplification of the facts of life, but what the hell, you know, deep down, it holds a grain of truth in it. I guess what it boils down to is that I CHOOSE not to be a victim. I CHOOSE not to let anger keep a hold of my heart and eat my soul. I CHOOSE to fight sorrow and depression and keep them at bay. These are merely MY CHOICES....not meant as a blueprint for any other person's life...just me. |
| Blog Topic? I got no stinking blog topic today so I have opted for the next best thing: Whatever Comes to Mind! Yeah, that's the ticket, I think I will just write stuff down as it pops in my head and see where that leads me. "How did you spend your 4th of July?" Funny you should ask. While most of you were out enjoying the fireworks and cook-outs and fireworks, this puppy was hard at work, at my post on the portals of the inner circle of retail hell better known as: Wal-Mart! I love my job. Where else in the world can you witness, first hand, such a fine example of America's love affair with consumption. Day in and day out I stand and observe folks from all walks of life as they stream through my door like Lemmings intent on reaching the sea. I see rich and poor, educated and ignorant, all marching shoulder to shoulder; intent on worshiping the great God of Spending. Now don't get me wrong, some of these people are really nice, kind, and caring individuals. Of course others are just sick offal monkeys intent on spreading glumness and sour feelings where ever they go, like some kind of sick Johnny Appleseed. Now the 4th of July is special as holidays go in retail. Not only is it a HOLIDAY, but it is also the first of the month. This means you get a special mix of customer. You get the L.L. Bean clad, well-to-do tourist, out for a weekend on the lake and you also have the Live-in-the-backwoods, come-to-town-once-a-month, trailer-trash, living-on-disability, perfectly-healthy, Bubba and Bubbette intent on stocking up their monthly supply of ham hocks, beer, and the newest DVDs to watch on their Plasma TVs. It is times like this that make my life "interesting". Add to this mix, the fact that it rained for four days straight and was still raining on the 4th and you have enough aggravation to wear the horns off a damn brass billy goat! I get these golden snippets of conversation with my various types of customers. For instance there was the well to do tourist who, when I handed them their shopping buggy, said: "Eww, this handle is damp. Where do I have to shop to have a dry buggy?" To which I calmly answer: "You might try ARIZONA! I hear THEY haven't had rain for a solid dang WEEK!" I then hand them a paper towel and tell them: "Here ya go. Knock yourself out". Then I have the five hundred pound "lady" who smells like she hasn't bathed in a month and wearing the same clothes she shopped in LAST MONTH. She waddles into the store, proceeds to the line of electric carts, and plops her massive bulk down on the poor vehicle like an avalanche descending down a mountain side. She then tries vainly to make the cart move forward. When she is unsuccessful in her attempts at locomotion, she turns to me and says: "Can you please make this sorry thing move. It must be broke or something." To which I reply: "No ma'am, it isn't broke and the only way I could make that machine move right now is to install a Cummings diesel motor and 16 inch tires on it!" I swear, when she sat on the cart it looked like a damn elephant riding a unicycle....and she expected it to actually MOVE??? Now there is another phenomenon that occurs on the 4th....well actually it happens throughout most of the summer but on the 4th it is at its worse. How do I explain this one? Well, think about the Zebra...yeah that will do it. You see, in Africa, on the great savannas of that continent roam great herds of Zebra. Now the Zebra's main enemy is the Lion and the best defence against the lion which the zebra has is its stripes. You see when the zebras are all herded together their stripes serve to protect them. The lion sees this vast sea of stripes and he can't tell where one animal stops and another begins. The lion suffers from a sort of sensory overload, thus protecting the zebra. Thus it is in my Wal-Mart on the 4th. I suffered a sort of sensory overload much akin to that suffered by the poor lion. I REACHED TITTY OVERLOAD! My God they were everywhere. You couldn't tell where one bimbo stopped and the next began. A little of these sights is a good thing...but my God, DON'T YOU WOMEN BELIEVE IN WEARING CLOTHES??? From 15 to 80 and all ages in between came flouncing through those damn doors with less support than a republican at a illegal immigrant rally. Look, don't get me wrong...I love the female figure and I have been known to admire a nice set of boobs as much as the next guy, but for the love of Mike, enough is enough....it gets old after about eight hours. I mean, even the good looking ones got rather tiresome after awhile. Maybe I am just showing my age, but I find that at this stage of my life I enjoy quality over quantity. I like the "bare" look to be the exception rather than the rule. I swear, after eight hours of barely covered nipples I was ready to come home and burn my membership card in the Dirty Old Man Club. So here I am, a day off but tomorrow I shall be manning my post once more. I can only pray for cold weather so they will have to wear clothes....yeah, right. I only got four more months before that happens in Texas. |
| Short entry today. I now have music. It was a simple matter of a wire in the wrong place on the back of my computer so now I can listen to my tunes through the computer....I'm content. Has anyone seen Dan, Scarlett, or Ken? I have missed them the past couple of days. What else....oh yeah...I had spaghetti and meat sauce for dinner this evening. I have spent the entire day working on my shortstory collection to send to LuLu and have only opened the blog page maybe three times....now that was weird. Okay, I'm done. Time to go to the pasture and feed the animals. Have a good day Peeps....Later. |
| My damn CD player is BUSTED! I am without my music and it is driving me to distraction. It must have been that dang Murphy, yeah, that's the ticket. I bet that jerk slipped in here and broke my tune box. The thing is, without my music I find it almost impossible to write anything and that really IS driving me batty! I even have a brand new Enya CD which I have yet to be able to listen to....ARUGGGGH! Some of my so-called friends have suggested that I get an iPod. HELLO! I had a hard enough time getting use to the 20th century and I'll be damned if I'm gonna jump right off into the 21st so quickly. HDTV...what the heck is that? I thought I was doing really good when I got a TV which had a remote....got that about ten years ago. My kids were always my remote control. I would make them take turns, squatting by the channel changer knob and flipping through the channels. I had to let them take turns cause the little sissies would get tired after an hour or so and start whining and snotting about wanting to go play...the little ingrates! So anyway, that's about the extent of my electronics toys. Heck I think I still have a bunch of eight tracks somewhere...boy I really miss that eight-track player too. I remember when the eight-tracks came out. Everyone exclaimed: "Oh the sound is sooo much better than those dumb old records, you just have to get one." I did. I was happy. Then they came out with those little cassettes. Shortly there after, everyone exclaimed: "Oh the sound is so much better on these than on those dumb old eight-tracks, you just have to get one." I did. I was kinda happy. Then came the CD. You guessed it, everyone was all exclaiming: "Oh the sound is to die for, you just have to get a CD player and throw those dumb old tapes away." Well I didn't. Not right away. No sir, when they first came out, Wal-Mart and other retailers kept them under lock and key. They did that because one CD would cost you like $50 and would have like three songs on it! Back then only rich snobs owned them. They sit around in smoking jackets, puffing a pipe and exclaiming how wonderful their tunes were...much better that the music of the motley masses. Made me want to break their damn brandy snifters! Of course, within about five years or so, the manufactures and the record industry saw the good side in letting the unwashed masses afford their product and the price of CDs dropped like a rock. The CD players soon followed suit. I bought one. I was happy again. Now my dinosaur CD player has bit the big one. It has gone to that electronic junk yard in the sky and I am without music. So what do I hear now? "Oh man, you gotta get an iPod. No tape, no CD, just plug a little thingy in your ear, turn on the thingy in your hand that is about the size of the actual meat content in a Big Mac, and POW, you got music....oh yeah, and the sound IS SO MUCH BETTER." I don't wanna change no more. I want my music and I don't want to plug nothing in my ear other than my elbow. I want Andrew Lloyd Weber...on an eight-track, on a cassette, or on a dang CD!!! Okay, that's it for me. I'm gonna go make Mel hum the entire movie Score to The Last of the Mohicans. |
| Some days the health fairy flies through and beans me on the head with her magic wand...today is one of those days. I was unable to go to work this morning so I will be lurking about all day reading your blogs and stuff....when I'm not in the bed. Sorry, but am unable to post a real blog entry, seems consentration just will not stay with me today. Oh I can tell you the results of my contest. The goat has a new name: Maggie, which was suggested by Pan who is now happily spending her GPs.First runner-up was our own PlannerDan with his name of "Patches"Second runner-up was SweetpeasNan  with the name, "Gladys"Thanks to everyone who suggested a name for my goat. This was my first contest and it really was fun. I'm off to bed now, will check in with you guys later. |
| To be inspired is, I believe, a phenomenon unique to the human animal. To be inspired or moved by a stirring speech or a particular piece of music is a trait shared by all people. I am no exception. There are certain things that have the capability to move me almost to tears with their beauty and power. Sometimes I can hear a speech, or lines delivered by an actor in a movie which effects me this way and when that happens I think not of the power of the actor, but the power of the writer whose words the actor is merely giving voice to. I think that is why I write. I write in the hopes that, if I do it right then maybe one time in ten thousand, I too will be able to move someone else with my words. Is that vain of me, or is that what we should all strive for....moving others with our words. The same goes for music. Though I shall never be a musician, I have a deep and abiding respect for composers who, with their own words, accompanied by their music, can bring me to tears of joy or tears of sorrow...ah, what power that is, my friends. Soundtracks to movies, when done right, will give us the best of both worlds. We are moved by the story and at the same time we are equally effected by the music which enhances the tale being told in the film. Gladiator and The Last of the Mohicans are two such examples. The music of these two films fit so well into the stories being told that they act as an amplifier to strengthen the overall dramatic effect of the movie. I find myself watching these two films over and over for just that reason...I get the best of both arts at once. Music and writing, two examples of the artistic nature of man, two things that move us and raise us above the animals of the Earth. I wonder if we could function without either. What a dreary world this would be without music and writing. I find, as I age, that is hard if not impossible for me to do one without the other. I find more and more that if I want to write, I must have music playing in the background no matter what I am writing. Whether it be a simple entry such as this in my little blog, or a brand new short story, without the music to transport my mind and soul to a quiet, harmonious place, I can not begin to put words to the page. How strange that seems to me as I sit here that I need music to generate words. Why is it that the key to one form of artistic endeavor can be found in another form altogether? Are any of the rest of you like that? Do you need the music to create the words or does the one block you from the other? If you are like me, then what is some of your favorite music that you like to listen to as you write? My own personal favorite type of music to listen to when I write is Celtic music. There is something about its soft melody that moves me. If a particular piece has lyrics then it is the soft, lilting, female voice, more often than not, which I find so mesmerizing. So tell me.....What are your thoughts on this subject? I really would like to know. |
| The month of June is fast drawing to a close and July is right around the bend. My last official act of June will take place tomorrow when I name the winner of the Name Da Goat contest. Said competition comes to an end tonight at midnight eastern standard time. Then, starting in July, yours truly will be a headliner at: ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Now that, my friends was a real surprise to me. I think someone is playing a practical joke on these folks by nominating me for a "headliner". When they start poking around in my port they will probably change their mind. Those poor guys are gonna be bored silly, trying to read my stuff, bless their hearts. I am so very grateful to have the chance to be a headliner and I hope I don't disappoint them to badly. Now speaking of July, did you know that there were quite a few interesting things that have taken place down through the years during this particular month. 175 years ago Explorer and ethnologist Henry Schoolcraft lead a search for the headwaters of the Mississippi river in July 1832. He found what he was looking for in a Minnesota lake he named Itasca, a contraction of veritas and caput (true head). 160 years ago Clerks hand cut the very first United States postage stamps in New York, July 1, 1847. It can not be confirmed, but it is reported that the very first letter to use this stamp was delivered, finally, last year! 130 years ago Spencer Gore, 27 beat William Marshall 6-1, 6-2, 6-4 to win the all England Croquet and Lawn Tennis Club's first championship in the new game of Lawn Tennis on July 19, 1877. The sport quickly eclipses croquet, and a Ladies' singles event is added in 1884. By 1903 Wimbledon is international and the rest, as they say...is history! Okay, I'll stop now. I just figured that since Carolina Blue had not blogged yet, maybe I could take up some slack for him and do a history thing in my own blog. Yeah, I know, he does it a lot better so just wait a bit, I'm sure he will show up. |
| LOL! I know all you people read Nada 's blog today and did you read where she invited Murphy back to Ojai so that poor Scarlett could enjoy what was left of her vacation. Well this is the perfect example of "Be Careful What You Wish For." When I arrived home from work today I had a message waiting for me on my phone. It was Nada and she was calling me on her cell phone.....outside the town of Ojai. According to Nada, suddenly today, sometime AFTER she posted her blog, every piece of equipment which is technology based WENT OUT!!! Now picture this: The city has NOT lost electrical power but in spite of that, every phone, cell phone, computer, 911 line went down. Every bank ATM went down. Oh my God, can you just picture that, thousands of people milling around the streets of downtown Ojai screaming into their dead cell phones: "MOTHER OF GOD, CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW? PLEASE TELL ME YOU CAN HERE ME NOW!" I tell you this scene just warms the cockles of my heart...ah to have been there so I could taunt all the techno junkies and their dead phones! I don't know if things have returned to normal yet at this writing, Nada said, in her message the banks were forced to only let one person at a time through their doors and then only if that person knew all their banking info and numbers. Of course you know what caused all this don't you. I wonder if I should do my civic duty and try to inform the city leaders who was to blame for this terrible mess? Maybe I should give Nada time to get completely out of the county before I bust her. Yes, that's right, it is all Nada's fault. She blithely invited Murphy back to Ojai from his vacation with Scarlett. What she didn't know was that Murphy took this opportunity to host the MURPHY FAMILY REUNION! Yes, thanks to Nada, the entire Murphy clan is on the loose in Ojai and wreaking havoc upon those poor unsuspecting, cell phone talking, ATM using, 911 calling, Left Coast Whackos! You know, some days are definitely just head and shoulders above others aren't they! |
| Off Topic: I would like to express my thanks and gratitude to whoever was the anonymous person who gifted me with my spiffy, new costumicon for my little, yellow case. Did you see it up there? Those are question marks and what better symbol to put on my case than those. I am full of questions and never have the answers...LOL....I love it!! ***************************************************** I had an aunt and her name was Claire. I guess you could say she was my favorite aunt and I believe I held the same place in her own heart as well. Aunt Claire was born in 1900 and she was, hands down, the Character of the McClain family. Now that is saying a lot because, trust me, this family was at one time FULL of real "characters". Aunt Claire though took the prize. She was a fiery and an independent lady who, from an early age fought for Women's Rights...long before there was anything like the National Organization of Women. She was self educated because girls back then were expected to get married early and raise a family, not go to college or learn a trade. She remained single until late in life, telling all her friends and family that she would marry only when she found a man who could be her equal....believe me, that was not an easy task. She left her home in Texas at the early age of fifteen because she refused to fit into the mold of the ladies of that time. She moved to New York City, which scandalized her parents to no end. She supported herself with a variety of jobs and every single spare moment she had, she read books. Books on history, philosophy, science, it made no difference to her because she had an overpowering hunger to learn. Now most of the things I learned about aunt Claire, I learned after her death. My father told me her story not long before his own death. It was one of the family tales he wanted to pass along to me before he died. Now the thing is, I had always known that Claire hated two men, famous men, with an unparalleled hatred and I never understood why until the day my father told me about the single most defining moment in my aunt's life. The two men she hated so fiercely was Gen. Douglas MacArthur and Gen. George S. Patton. As the story goes, back in 1932 aunt Claire hopped a freight train with a large number of veterans of WW1 who were converging upon Washington to demand payment of a bonus that had been promised to all war veterans (this was before there was any Veterans organization in the government). Roughly 31,000 veterans, their families and friends gathered in front of the White House to demand the money they had so richly earned fighting the War to End All Wars. Remember this was during the depths of the Depression and these men were desperate and had absolutely no help from the government they had fought for. President Herbert Hoover ordered the "Bonus Army" be dispersed and handed that job to the newly minted, one-star general, Douglas MacArthur who had overall command of the 12th Infantry Regiment and the 3rd Cavalry Regiment from Ft. Howard Maryland. The 3rd Cavalry was lead in the field by the then Major George S. Patton. Now imagine for a moment, my aunt Claire, that fiery, radical, free-spirit of a woman standing shoulder to shoulder with her friends, all decorated veterans and imagine her horror as she watched Patton order his horsemen to draw sabers and attack. As the unarmed protesters fell back, they were attacked from the flank by the naked bayonets of the infantry regiment also. Quite a few of the protesters were killed, some of their children died and some of the wives died as a result of the unprovoked attack by the army upon those who were once their brothers-in-arms. The protest was broken up. The veterans went home empty handed. My aunt seemed to have been broken by her experience and she returned home to Texas. She took up residence in Houston where for the rest of her life she remained in the center of the local bohemian community of free-thinkers the likes of which were called "Hippies" some thirty odd years later. So that is the story of how my Aunt Claire came to hate MacArthur and Patton and she never lost that feelings for those two men. My aunt was an amazing woman. She was self-made and independent right up until the time of her death in 1972. She died of a heart attack while hosting some college students who were organizing against the Vietnam war. She was sitting in her living room, holding court and telling the kids how they should go about it. She was smoking a cigar and drinking a tall glass of Bourbon....her two favorite vices, and she suddenly grabbed her chest, dropped her drink, and fell dead of a massive heart attack. Now some of you may wonder how my aunt and I got along during that turbulent time in history and....well..that is the stuff for another blog. I DID love that woman! |
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