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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/books/item_id/1223948-Midnight-Musings-from-the-Loony-Bin
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Rated: E · Book · Comedy · #1223948
More funny (senseless) stuff flowing in my brain at the Loony Bin - AKA - My House!
My life should be a Blog! My family provides me with ample sources of material in which to write, on a daily basis! Especially my daughter. Every day she says or does something new and funny. She is the reason that I have finally began writing again. She has given me the desire to share my thoughts with the world. I hope what you read here gives you a laugh or two. Maybe, it may just spark something within you that you forgot about and want to begin to share, as well. So...enjoy...
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June 23, 2009 at 12:11am
June 23, 2009 at 12:11am
#655762
Welcome back to the Loony Bin!

Tonights subject: divorce is inevitable...

I know that there are many people out there that are happily married and I am truly happy for them. I am not one of those people. I used to be. I was once in love with a man whom I thought was everything that he said he was. I found out that 95% of what came out of his mouth was lies! We are finally getting a divorce and I'm counting down the days until then. We have a beautiful, wonderful 5yr old daughter who is really the victim here. It's sad. She is hurting and there's nothing I can do about it except tell her that her Daddy and I love her and are doing what is best for her. I hate this! I wish that it wasn't happening but, we've been the marriage counseling route and nothing has jarred this man! I just want to be free!
May 3, 2009 at 6:15pm
May 3, 2009 at 6:15pm
#648024
Welcome back to the Loony Bin!

Tonights subject: To write or not to write...

I feel like I can't really be considered a writer anymore. Well, I feel that way these days. I haven't had the opportunity to write anything since my last posting almost two years ago! Why? I have no idea or excuse. I am so glad to be back here. It feels like coming back home. Since my last entry the following things have happened: Husband was in hospital twice over Christmas, daughter is close to six years old and just about through her first year of Kindergarten, and I am just about to the end of my first year of Seminary. Wow! It's been a crazy, wonderful, complicated year! I sat back and decided that its stupid not to take a little time for myself and write a bit so....here I sit, in front of my computer, in my favorite place...Writing.com. I'm so glad to be back...
September 23, 2007 at 6:15pm
September 23, 2007 at 6:15pm
#537205
Welcome back to the Loony Bin!

Tonights subject - Why haven't I been writing for so long?

I cannot believe how chaotic life can be! I haven't blogged in over six months! Somebody slap me! In that time I have been in the hospital once and my daughter has been in the hospital twice! Can't wait to see those hospital bills since we have no medical insurance! My daughter just turned 4yrs old and is starting Preschool in two days. Boy does time fly. It's shame, really. Tonight is just my chance to get on the keyboard and tap away a little and let anyone who actually reads my blog know that I'm back to try and amuse and confuse!

Goodnight everyone...
March 11, 2007 at 11:25pm
March 11, 2007 at 11:25pm
#494412
Welcome back to the Loony Bin!

Tonights subject - Children say the funniest things...

I can't believe I haven't blogged in almost a week. I've been sick for three weeks. I'm just glad to be back typing again. Tonight all I can think about is my 3yr old daughter and all the funny things she says. So, that's tonights topic in a sort-of script style. Hope you enjoy it.

My daughter is very tall for her age and skinny, too, so...her pants seem to always fall down. We started telling her that crack killed to remind her to pull her pants up. OK, so I'm not the most sophisticated Mommy!

(While being buckled into her booster seat)
Hannah: " Mommy, crack kills!"
Mommy:"Really, Hannah?"
Hannah: "Well, Mommy, yes...my pants slipped down when you were putting me in my car seat."

(Watching end-credits of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse)
Hannah: "I'm so sad it's over. I had so many memories of it."

(While I'm offering the dog a sip of soda because I don't have water and he's thirsty)
Hannah: "Well, Mommy, Malachi doesn't like soda. He prefers water."

(While talking to Mamaw on the phone)
Hannah: "Mamaw, Malarki (family cat) and I had a tea party, today."
Mamaw: "Really? Did Malarki hold her teacup and drink with you?"
Hannah: "Mamaw! Malarki doesn't have hands!"

(A few hours after another talk about our private body parts)
Mommy: "If you don't stop that, right now, you're going to get a spanking!"
Hannah: "You can't spank me! That's my private body part!"

Preschoolers....you can't live with them....you can't live without them!

Goodnight everyone...

March 7, 2007 at 9:16pm
March 7, 2007 at 9:16pm
#493271
Welcome back to the Loony Bin!

Tonights subject - Too sick to write...

Sorry I haven't written for a bit. I've been pretty sick and still not feeling much better. I didn't want anyone who actually reads this Blog to think I was released from the Loony Bin never to return. I'm just taking a few more days off to get this nasty sinus infection under control.

Until I'm felling better.......
March 3, 2007 at 12:34am
March 3, 2007 at 12:34am
#491941
Welcome back to the Loony Bin!

Tonights subject - How to get your preschooler to go to sleep.

Step #1 - Yell (never works)
Step #2 - Threaten (sometimes works)
Step #3 - Get imaginary friend involved (always works)

Final Results? SLEEP! Heavenly sleep!

So, how did I do it? Well, here's the story beginning to end...

Hannah: "Mommy?" (calling from her bedroom)
Me: "What?" (sounding agitated since I'm still sick in bed)
Hannah: "I can't sleep."
Me: "Well then, just rest!"
Hannah: "Well, Mommy, I can't!" (begins crying)

(I get up, go into her room and crawl into bed with her for a few minutes)

Me: "So, what's wrong?"
Hannah: "Well, Mommy, I'm scared to be in here with the shadows." (grabbing at anything that might keep me in here with her)
Me: "Where's Space Boy?" (Hannah's imaginary friend for the past 1 1/2 yrs)
Hannah: "He's under the covers."
Me: "Poor Space Boy! He has to be under there all squished up smelling my stinky feet?"
Hannah: "Well, Mommy, he doesn't mind."
Me: "Ya know, Hannah, if I go get back in my bed, there will be enough room for Space Boy and he won't be squished in, anymore. Then, you can read him a story and help him to fall asleep."
Hannah: "That's a good idea, Mommy."

(Hannah got up and picked out two books to read to Space Boy and I tucked her in for the night)

She actually fell asleep in mid-sentence! So much for not being sleepy! Space Boy saves the day, again! I love him even if I can't see him!

Well, it's after midnight and I am feeling the effects of the cold medicine. Sorry this couldn't be any better, tonight. I just don't have it in me. Sleep well, all...
March 1, 2007 at 10:44pm
March 1, 2007 at 10:44pm
#491627
Welcome back to the Loony Bin!

Tonights subject - New and Improved?

Yesterday was my birthday and today...I'm sick! How ironic! So, I've been laying here in my bed all day pondering life. This, of course, isn't always a good idea. So what was I pondering? Things that are new and improved. Why is it that when a new product comes out on the market, it always seems to be New and Improved? If it's so improved then why is the previous version still being sold? For example, I use a particular brand of laundry detergent which sells quite a few different versions. Each one listed as New and Improved! So, if they are leaving the old version on the shelf, what does that say for us as consumers? Do we just prefer to continue using an old product because we fear change? If I was to sell something that I had just improved (made better), I would certainly not want to sell the previous version. To me, that would be selling something that just wasn't as good. Of course, these days, manufacturers are so unethical that it probably doesn't matter, anyway. How do we know things are improved? Anyone can make that claim whether true or not. Ok, the room is starting to spin so, I need to close and get some sleep.

Tonights blog brought to you by large quantities of cold medicine....The new and improved kind! LOL!
February 28, 2007 at 10:50pm
February 28, 2007 at 10:50pm
#491361
Welcome back to the Loony Bin!

Tonights subject - Eating Crow!

Step #1 - Assume the worst!
Step #2 - Receive the opposite!
Step #3 - Feel like a complete Jerk!
Step #4 - Start Eating.......(crow, that is)

Today was my birthday! I'm 35! Amazingly, it doesn't feel any different than 34! Duh!

So, last night I was assuming my husband would continue the Grand Tradition of no card and, of course, he shocked the heck out of me! Not only did I get a card from him but, I was even presented a card by my sweet little girl. She even took the time to Graffiti it up a bit for me. She's 3yrs old so, anything but her name looks like Graffiti! My sweet husband didn't stop there, though. He sent my daughter into my room carrying my favorite flowers in her hands. She had no idea how special those flowers were that she was presenting to me. You need to understand that my favorite flower is very difficult to find in where I live due to the cold, dry climate during the winter months. So, what is this flower? It's the beautiful, spectacular Bird of Paradise! My husband always amazes me because this is not an easy flower to remember. Not only did he remember it but, he brought me two! Now, I'm just praying that they bloom. Even if they don't, I don't care because MY HUSBAND remembered me!

Now, what about the cake? (To be continued)

P.S. I like Acme Yellow cake with Whipped Cream Icing! (wink.wink)

February 27, 2007 at 10:27pm
February 27, 2007 at 10:27pm
#491071
Welcome back to the Loony Bin!

Tonights subject - My birthday!

My birthday is tomorrow. Well, sorta.... I'm a Leap Year baby. I was born on February 29th. So, when there isn't a 29th, I celebrate on the 28th. Too many details but, let us remember that it's late and I'm pretty tired.

So, tomorrow is my birthday and I already know what I'm getting from my husband. Would you like to guess? Well, I'll tell ya...NOTHING! That's right! Absolutely nothing! Last year he used the excuse that I wasn't here ON my birthday! Of course, every year produces another excuse to add to the list. It's not like my birthday is easy to forget! After almost five years of marriage and still waiting! I take our 3yr old out and pick out a card for her to her Daddy on his birthday! I've even given him gifts from her with recordings of her first words which, of course, were, "Daddy"! Never once has he put any thought into doing something nice for my birthday! I did get a card from him two years ago but it looked like one that you pick up at a 7-Eleven! It was so generic but, hey, at least I got a card, right? When we were engaged he bought me beautiful cards but, that all changed when the chase was over and we were married! I wish I could just get over it and not let it bother me but, it's hard. I have cards that I gave my Mother when I was a tot. All I wanted was to have a few memories of my little one handing me a card that she proudly picked out for Mommy. She's growing so fast that, in a few years, it won't matter anymore.

I apologize to anyone who stumbled into my Blog tonight. I'm just a little down and needed to clear my head before going to sleep. God Bless and goodnight.
February 26, 2007 at 10:41pm
February 26, 2007 at 10:41pm
#490857
Let's see..I have an inherited cat who is a royal pain in the rear, a neurotic Terrier who needs to be on some serious drugs, a 90GAL saltwater aquarium, and a 20GAL freshwater aquarium. I should have stopped there but, I just couldn't leave well enough alone! My 3yr olds Horseshoe Crab died two weeks ago and it was a real tragedy. Since she had been asking for a Hermit Crab, I thought I'd be the great parent and get her one. I really should have thought that out. Two weeks later and close to $100 in equipment, we have four happy dime-sized Hermit Crabs! Apparently, Hermit Crab care has SERIOUSLY evolved! There are websites and online stores dedicated just to them! Don't get me wrong. I like these little critters but, the last thing I needed was to create more work for myself. Why would this little critter be called a Hermit Crab? They are nothing like a Hermit! Quite the opposite! They are non-stop entertainment. Oh well, live and learn, I guess. At least my daughter is happy!

I plan on living forever! So far, so good!

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